What matters more, looks or money? Here's how men and women really judge dating profiles.
There’s a big difference in how men and women evaluate online dating profiles.

A man and woman look at online dating profiles.
If you are confused by the world of online dating, a new study gives a fascinating look into how heterosexual men and women evaluate profiles. Unfortunately, the results won’t give you hope that people on online dating apps aren’t superficial, but they show a significant difference in how men and women evaluate profiles.
Knowing how people look at you can be very helpful when writing your profile and choosing which photos to use.
The study, published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, used the latest eye-tracking technology to see what men and women focus on when looking at online dating profiles. The researchers took 20 men and women and recorded their movements with an eye-tracking camera while they viewed online dating profiles.
How do men look at online dating profiles?
Unsurprisingly, the study found that men primarily focus on a woman’s facial attractiveness and spend little time considering her occupation or income level. However, if a woman was unattractive, a man focused on her looks if she had a prestigious job or high earning potential.
“We were surprised to see that men increased their visual attention to nominally unattractive women when their (the women’s) jobs were high-status and high-paying,” Amy Lykins, a lead author of the study and an associate professor in clinical psychology at the University of New England in Maine, told PsyPost. “Normally, uninteresting information (i.e., unattractive faces in this case) wouldn’t attract much attention, but they did appear to attract more attention when the woman also had a good, high-paying job.”
A couple on a date. via Canva
How do women look at online dating profiles?
The women in the study were much more complex than the men regarding how they looked at dating profiles. Women focused more on a man’s attractiveness after considering his income level and occupation. If a man’s profile showed that he has a lower income or a less prestigious job title, women would focus on his looks a bit longer. “Regardless of how attractive the man was (high or low), women spent more time looking at men’s faces when resources were low than high,” said Amy Lykins
Although the researchers were careful not to draw any conclusions from the results of the study, it appears that women are more generous to men with lower earning potential when they are attractive. The attitude is, “Okay, you don’t have much money, but you’re cute, so maybe we’re a match. Meanwhile, men were more generous towards women who weren't that attractive but had higher-paying jobs. The typical male attitude is, “You’re not as cute as I’d like, but you have a good job, so I guess that’ll work."
A couple on a date. via Canva
Regarding attractiveness, the study found that both men and women paid a lot more attention to the faces of online daters than their bodies. Eighty-three percent of their time was focused on faces, regardless of whether other body parts were shown.
“We expected this,” Lykins told The Huffington Post. “I’ve found this in other eye-tracking studies I’ve conducted, even where people were barely clothed and/or even nude. People are extremely interested in faces ― even as newborns ― and that’s true for both men and women.”
The study also proved another stereotype about online dating: men are more interested in short-term relationships and women are looking for something more long-term.
The researchers found that the significant difference between how men and women look at online dating profiles is noticeable within a short period. “Within the first 10 seconds of viewing an online profile of a potential relationship partner, we can see differences in the prioritization of different types of information,” Lykins explained.
Depending on how rich or attractive you feel, the findings may be disheartening or make you want to sign up for an online dating app. Regardless, it’s good to know what the opposite sex looks for when you put yourself out there. “The findings have real-world implications for how people may want to create online dating profiles using apps such as Tinder,” Lykins told PsyPost.
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.