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A woman sings "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac at karaoke.
On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn't wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended. ABBA's "Mamma Mia," David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigolo"—you name it, they sang it.
When it was Wade's turn, the microphone was brought to her table. She took it in her hands as though it was an extension of her fingers as the music cued up. Then, as she began to effortlessly sing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, the room got still. Frozen. All eyes were on her, and most of those eyes were wet. The lyrics, so beautifully fitting:
"Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder,
Even children get older,
I'm getting old too."
A man sitting at our table took notice of how emotional I had become. He leaned over to say, "Never stop feeling the music."
I had the honor of chatting with Wade, who at 85, has been singing nearly her whole life. She got started in the business as a backup singer in Elvis impersonator groups in Dallas and surrounding areas. In and out of bands, playing Deep Ellum clubs and local hotels, she shares, "I've been singing since I was a small child. I've loved music all my life."
As luck would have it, she was at a jam session when she started harmonizing with other musicians. They would soon form her most recent band, Psychedelic Oatmeal. They officially stopped playing gigs when she was in her 70s, but they remain close. (She notes her bandmates were all much younger.)
Carole and her band mates.Carole Wade
They covered classic rock tunes from Stevie Nicks, The Eagles, Janis Joplin, and Led Zeppelin. Songs like "Me and Bobby McGee," "Seven Bridges Road," and "Whole Lotta Love." She laughs that most of the men in the band couldn't hit those Zeppelin high notes made famous by Robert Plant, so she took on the challenge—with great success.
They even branded themselves at gigs, making little Ziploc bags of oatmeal and glitter, which they would throw to the audience at shows. That is, until a club owner asked them to stop, as the oatmeal was mixing with spilled drinks, "creating goo."
Rare footage of Psychedelics Oatmeal.
The band Psychedelic Oatmeal plays in Dallas. www.youtube.com
Wade makes clear that music is her therapy. "If you're down on a certain day, it will bring you up." She has lived a full life, with two grown sons who are both excelling in life. But music, and the friends with whom she makes it, brings her that extra piece of joy and purpose.
Michael Hatcher, the Resident Services Director at The Reserve at North Dallas (the senior facility in which this event was held), has seen firsthand how music soothes seniors. It reconnects them to their purest selves, no matter how hazy their memories might become. Hatcher shares, "They remember the music, and the time. It's a vessel for anyone of age. It can be used to bring someone out of the deepest sun-downing and back to life."
A man sings "Just a Gigolo" at The Reserve karaoke day.
@cdk213 Senior living karaoke! Fabulous! #seniorlivingcommunity #justagigalo #dallas
There is much research to support this. Bannerhealth.com quotes music therapy coordinator Tammy Reiver for Banner Hospice in Phoenix: "Music holds the power to increase dopamine levels (happy hormones), decrease symptoms of depression and pain, and improve a person’s quality of life. Pleasing music plays an important role at every age, but for aging adults, the benefits are even greater.”
As for Wade? She jokes that she and a few other musicians at the senior home have plans to start their own band. She certainly has the chops for it—and the fans.
A letter written from mother to son.
Heidi Johnson's son was 13, deeply in adolescence, and in that stage where he lashes out. He told her he shouldn't have to deal with her rules and should be independent. So she wrote a strict but loving "Mom's not a fool" letter. In the letter, she wrote that because he bragged about making money, he can buy back all of the things that she had purchased for him in the past and that he would also have to pay rent.
"Dear Aaron,
Since you seem to have forgotten you are only 13, and I’m the parent, and that you won’t be controlled, I guess you will need a lesson in independence. Also, as you threw in my face that you are making money now, it will be easier to buy back all the items I bought for you in the past. If you would like your lamp/lightbulbs or access to the internet, you will need to pay your own share of costs.
Rent – $430
Electricity – $116
Internet – $21
Food – $150"
She also added some additional chores that, if not accomplished, she would fine him $30.
"He came home, saw the note, crumpled it on the floor, and stormed out of the apartment. I have always encouraged him to take a walk when he is upset so that he can collect his thoughts, so when we try to talk, we are able to talk, and not just yell at each other. I do the same thing — sometimes, I just need to walk away and collect myself. I am not above admitting that. He was still livid when he got home. He decided to stage a 'sit in' in my room, where he did laugh at me and repeat, 'Really? What are you going to do?
You can't take my stuff,' etc. He was asked to leave my room, and when he could be respectful, and I was more calm, we would discuss it further. He went to his room, and after about an hour, he had removed some electronics and items I missed that he felt he should have to earn back for his behavior. He apologized, and asked what could he do to make things better and start earning items back. He earned his comforter and some clothes right back. I did leave him some clothes to begin with, just not the ones he would want to wear every day. He also had some pillows and sheets, just not his favorite ones.”
A teenage boy upset, sitting aginst a fence. via Canva/Photos
She decided to post it on Facebook, the way one does to friends for a laugh and connection. She neglected to make it "private," soon, comments and shares proliferated, including admonishments from strangers who thought she was a bad parent. Now she had to deal with a bigger teenager: the internet and its commentariat. But Johnson remained level-headed and wrote another Facebook post, clarifying.
"It's out there; and I am not ashamed of what I wrote... I am not going to put my 13-year-old on the street if he can't pay his half of the rent. I am not wanting him to pay anything. I want him to take pride in his home, his space, and appreciate the gifts and blessings we have.” She explains that he is more grateful because of it, and also that he has slowly earned back things and dealt with sacrificing others.
Then she lists her very organized and succinct rules of the house:
1 – Do your best in school! I don't expect a perfect 100%, but I do expect that you do your best and ask for help when you don't understand something.
2 – Homework and jobs need to be done before you can have screen time.
3 – Jobs are emptying the trash, unloading the dishwasher, throwing away trash you make in the kitchen, rinsing dirty dishes, making your bed daily, pick up bedroom nightly, and cleaning your bathroom once a week.
4 – You must complete two chores a day. Each day of the week with the exception of Sunday has a room that we work on cleaning. He has to pick two chores for that room. For example, if it is the living room he can choose two of the following options: dust, vacuum, polish furniture, clean windows, mop the floor.
5 – Be respectful and kind with your words — no back talking, no cussing at me.
6 – Keep good hygiene.
7 – Make eye contact when being spoken to, and be an active listener.
8 – Use proper manners.
A mother and son getting along. via Canva/Photos
It seems that after a long conversation about what being independent truly means, the mother and son came to a deeper understanding and patched things up.
"You know what.. this hasn't hurt our relationship. He and I still talk as openly as ever. He has apologized multiple times... And… he is trying harder." Her son is earning things back little by little, and appreciating it more than he did before," the mother wrote. "This came down to a 13-year-old telling his mother she had no right to enforce certain rules, and had no place to 'control' him. I made the point to show what life would look like if I was not his 'parent,' but rather a 'roommate.' It was a lesson about gratitude and respect from the very beginning. Sometimes, you have to lose it all to realize how well you really had it."
This article originally appeared four years ago.
A map of the United States post land-ice melt.
Land ice: We got a lot of it. Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice. But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?
If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous. And that's putting it lightly. This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great. Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.
I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps are real possibilities.
How? Climate change.
As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.
A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.
Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.
In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.
Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.
South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.
And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.
All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.
Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.
Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.
Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.
Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)
Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)
And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)
"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.
If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."
World leaders are finally starting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.
Check out Business Insider's video below:
- YouTube www.youtube.com
This article originally appeared eleven years ago.
