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Every parent thinks they'd never forget their child in the car. But 'never' still happens.

Tragic hot car deaths are preventable, but only when parents acknowledge they are fallible.

No one thinks it could happen to them until it does.

I never thought it was possible for me to forget my child in the car—until the day I did.

I was a super conscientious mom, reading all the parenting books, cautious about health and safety, 100% committed to my children's well-being. I held my babies close, figuratively and literally, wearing them in slings and wraps much of the time and taking them everywhere. They were like physical extensions of me–how could I possibly forget them?

Here's how. My oldest was nearly 4 years old when I had my second child. One day, when the baby was a few weeks old, our family was out running errands. Everyone was hungry, but I needed to grab something from Michaels craft store, so I dropped my husband and 4-year-old at home first to start dinner. The baby was sleeping in her car seat and I decided to take her with me in case she woke up and needed to breastfeed.

Somewhere between our driveway and Michaels, I completely blanked that I had a baby in the car.


I hadn't been in a car with a child for several years without any sound—my oldest was always talking or singing or something. It was never quiet in the car unless I was alone, so my sleep-deprived brain interpreted the silence of my sleeping baby in the car as me being alone.

I got to the Michaels' parking lot, got out of the car, locked the door and went inside. I grabbed a shopping cart and headed to the back of the store to pick up whatever I needed. When I flipped down the plastic seat on the cart where you put a kid, it triggered the awareness that I didn't have a child with me and everything stopped. Even 19 years later, I can perfectly picture the moment it dawned on me what I'd done when the world went into slow-motion as I ran through the store and out to my car.

There she was, blissfully snoozing away in her car seat, totally unaware of my panic. It was a cool evening and she was only in there for 5 minutes, tops, but it was an eye-opening and humbling moment. If a brain blip like that could happen to me, it could happen to anyone.

That's the idea behind a new heatstroke prevention PSA from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) and the Ad Council called "Never Happens." The message is powerful, as there are so many things we swear we would never do as parents that we end up doing. Some of those things are conscious choices as we realize parenting is far more complex than we thought, but some are a result of being fallible humans with imperfect human brains. The key is recognizing that fact so you don't fall into the trap of "I would never."

Watch:

Pediatric vehicular heatstroke is the leading cause of non-crash, vehicle-related fatalities for children 14 and younger. No parent thinks they could possibly forget their child in a car, but that's how more than half of car heatstroke deaths in children occur. According to the NHTSA, heatstroke statistics can be split into three main scenarios:

- 52.7% of hot car deaths happened because a child was forgotten in a hot car

- 25.8% of deaths happened because a child gained access to an unlocked car and became trapped

- 20.1% of deaths happened because a child was left behind in a vehicle, and the parent/caregiver did not realize how quickly internal car temperatures can rise.

A child's body temperature rises three to five times faster than an adult's, so we can't use ourselves as a gauge of how long is too long to be in an enclosed car.

The inside of a vehicle is never a safe place for a child to play or be left alone, because hot cars can be deadly for children in a matter of minutes," Sophie Shulman, NHTSA’s Deputy Administrator, tells Upworthy. "No one wants to think they could forget their child, but the facts show it can happen to anyone. Our ‘Stop. Look. Lock.’ campaign educates and empowers parents and caregivers to make simple changes to prevent unimaginable tragedies."

Some of those simple changes might include putting your purse or wallet in the back seat, keeping an item like a teddy bear in the backseat and placing it in the front seat whenever you have a child in the car with you. Both of those simple visual cues could be life-saving. And always lock your vehicle after getting everyone out of it so a child can't get in.

Never think it could never happen. Then, take proactive steps to ensure that it never does.

I saw this poster today and I was going to just let it go, but then I kept feeling tugged to say something.

Melanie Cholish/Facebook

While this poster is great to bring attention to the issue of child trafficking, it is a "shocking" picture of a young girl tied up. It has that dark gritty feeling. I picture her in a basement tied to a dripping pipe.

While that sounds awful, it's important to know that trafficking children in the US is not all of that. I can't say it never is—I don't know. What I do know is most young trafficked children aren't sitting in a basement tied up. They have families, and someone—usually in their family—is trafficking them.


I'm pretty open about my story. My father trafficked me from the ages of about 5 or 6 until I was a teenager. Knowing this, I can say, I was never once tied up in a dark place such as this picture. It's important for people to educate themselves on what trafficking can really look like.

Many, many times I walked into an amusement parks dressing room—Hershey, Dorney, etc.—with my father, told to wait in the stall, and a few minutes later another man came in acting like he was looking for his daughter. And that easily, a "drop" was made. Out I would walk holding his hand, nothing anyone would think twice about. Usually I'd be given something like an ice cream cone, etc.

And like me, these children are often not treated "badly." I mean, yes, they're treated awfully and violated beyond words. I mean they're are not hit, tied up, or beat up. Most of the time, they're treated with fake kindness (which really fucks up children's trust later on in life). But they're often praised, given treats, and made to feel like what is happening is a good (and normal or because they're special).

How many vacations we went on where I was left for a minute at the pool, until a man came and I left with him for a while. Airports where I was passed over to another man in a crowd, looking like any girl going from her dad or uncle to her dad or uncle. Again, a public drop and nothing suspicious.

Most children trafficked in the US are so conditioned they don't know anything else. It's their normal. I think back as an adult and think, "Why didn't I scream out for help? Make a scene?" But I had to forgive my inner child. There was no reason I knew to scream out for help. I wasn't in danger; this was just my normal life.

I say all of this to simply say, it's really important we bring attention to child trafficking in the US. VERY important. And posters like this can get the conversation going, but we also need to educate people that it doesn't all look like this. I lived in Robesonia, a tiny nothing town. My father was a little league coach. My mother knew and helped some with these happenings; and she was just a stay-at-home, small town mom. These things happen everywhere and can look very normal.

Best thing we can do is talk to children. We don't need to be graphic; but teachers, schools, need to talk to children about things like this in a child-safe way. Assume these children aren't being taken to doctors. Teachers can make a huge difference. Talk to children. Go with your gut. Schools need to not be scared to act on what they feel. Conrad Wesier had a social worker in the elementary school who pulled me out of class on more than one occasion after teachers noticed "things" and it went nowhere. Social services were never notified. And they should have been. Period.

And what you can do is watch. Pay attention. Be mindful. If you're waiting in line at a park, notice who goes in and out with what child. If you see something; speak up. If you're wrong, fine you ruined someone's day, apologize. If you're right, you saved someone's life.

This post originally appeared on Melanie Cholish's Facebook page. It has been edited lightly for publication.

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9 handwritten notes from students to their teachers that are just heartbreaking

Kyle Schwartz started sharing the notes two years ago, and people responded — teachers, parents, child advocates and more.

Five years ago, Kyle Schwartz asked her Doull Elementary class to fill in the blank: "I wish my teacher knew ______."

Her students’ answers shocked her, and she shared some of the notes on Twitter.

One read: "I wish my teacher knew how much I miss my dad because he got deported to Mexico when I was 3 years old and I haven’t seen him in 6 years."


Another read: "I wish my teacher knew sometimes my reading log is not signed because my mom is not around a lot."

Other students talked about having no friends, being bullied and lacking school supplies at home. Here are nine of the notes:

1. The kids shared thoughts about parents who were rarely home.

"I wish my teacher knew that my dad works two jobs and I don't see him much." All photos via Kyle Schwartz.

2. They explained that their parents were divorced.

"I wish my teacher knew that my mom got divorce 3 times."

3. They told her they were living in shelters.

"I wish my teacher knew that my mom and I live in a shelter."

4. They said they worried about their siblings every night.

"I wish my teacher knew that my little brother gets scared and I get worried about getting up every night."

5. They talked about feeling disconnected from their peers.

"I wish my teacher knew that my dad died this year, and I feel more alone and disconnected from my peers than ever before."

6. They shared secret family struggles.

"I wish my teacher knew that my mom and dad are divorced and that I am the middle child of 7 kids. 5 out of that 7 or (are) boys."

7. They revealed what they love most in the world.

"3 things I wish my teacher knew about me: 7 kids in my family, me being the second to youngest. I play basketball. I think I'm really good at writing."

8. They explained worries about having a place to sleep at night.

"I wish my teacher knew that my mom might get diagnosed with cancer this week and I have been without a home 3 different times this year alone."

9. They even shared intimate details about their relationships with their parents.

"I wish my teacher knew that I got kicked out of the house because of my mom's girlfriend, and now I don't have a relationship with my mom because of it."

"When students feel like they have a voice, that they're heard, they're really more open," Schwartz told local station KUSA last year. "They're more able to take risks in school."

The majority of Schwartz's students live close to or below the poverty line, and 50% are learning English at school, she said. About 44% of children in America live in low-income families, according to the National Center for Children in Poverty.

Schwartz started sharing the notes two years ago, and people responded — teachers, parents, child advocates, and more.

Instructors, even one working with Syrian refugees in Greece, began implementing the exercise in their own classrooms. Many share responses using the hashtag #IWishMyTeacherKnew.

"In my classroom, I can impact 30 students," Schwartz said. "When I share, I can impact classrooms around the world."

So in July, Schwartz published "I Wish My Teacher Knew," a teacher's guide to address poverty, grief, and home life in the classroom.

The book is full of student notes and stories like these as well as Schwartz's experiences and research on child poverty.

The cover of Schwartz's book.

Each chapter includes "teacher tools, too — actionable steps that teachers can take in their classrooms to make change," Schwartz said. The tips include having a food drawer with granola bars available to students who might be hungry and creating a memory book with students grieving a loss.

"My students are very aware that their notes are being a powerful force for advocacy," Schwartz said. "They know they are speaking up for kids who aren’t always listened to. That’s been a beautiful thing."

"How many of you guys like being in the water?"

That's what two-time Olympic gold medalist Cullen Jones usually asks a group of squealing, excited kids in bathing suits at pools around the country. Millions of kids will jump in a pool on a hot summer day. But, summertime fun shouldn't come at the expense of safety. Jones and the USA Swimming Foundation want to make sure it's a safe experience for everyone.


Photo by Mike Lewis/USA Swimming Foundation.

In the summer of 2018, the USA Swimming Foundation's Make a Splash initiative is sending more than 1 million kids to the pool to learn to swim, and they're doing it to reach families and kids who might not otherwise have access to lessons

According to research from Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, formal swimming lessons reduces the likelihood of childhood drowning by 88%.

Make a Splash is working to make swimming lessons accessible for everyone by offering free or low-cost swim lessons. Research shows that 87% of swimmers with little or no ability have plans to go to a swimming facility this summer at least once, and 34% plan to go 10 or more times. Even more concerning, drowning is a top cause of unintentional death for all children under age 14 both in the U.S. and globally. But, the Make a Splash team is working to reduce those numbers.

Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for Palais Princier de Monaco.

For 12 years, through the Make a Splash initiative, the USA Swimming Foundation has partnered with learn-to-swim providers in all 50 states, offering low-cost or free swimming lessons and educating more than 6 million children and their families on the importance of learning to swim. The initiative's mission strikes a chord for Jones personally, which is why he's devoted nine years to being an ambassador for the program.

"I've gotta say, it's gotta be the kids, and watching them and their evolution as they blow bubbles for the first time or go underwater for the first time, and watching them breaks those barriers," Jones says. "I think that's been not only the reason that I stayed true to this initiative but also why I've continued to swim for as long as I have."

Jones loved being in the water at an early age even though he couldn't swim.

A trip to a water park changed his life forever. Jones flipped over in an inner tube in the water, and while he ultimately was unharmed, it was enough to push his mom to immediately put him in swimming lessons. I think it's safe to say that Jones learned how to swim well — and then some.

"I feel very close to the mission statement when it comes to saving lives and when I see that those giant statistics are still as bad as they are, even though we've seen some of them get better, I still know that I could've been one of those numbers. And I think that's what still drives me."

Photo by Martin Bureau/AFP/GettyImages.

Though Jones didn't expect his swim lessons to lead to a career as a professional swimmer, he's immensely grateful for the chance to help other kids learn to swim, particularly those who are historically underrepresented at the pool.

In 2010, approximately 70% of black kids and 60% of Latino kids had little or no swimming ability, compared with 42% of their white peers. Thankfully, those numbers have steadily improved. Currently, those percentages have dropped to 64% and 45%, a reduction Jones thinks is due in large part to a changing narrative around the importance of learning to swim.

Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

"There's always been a stigma that black people don't swim. It's been a running joke in our culture," says Jones. "It's also something that we have accepted as a culture. And I think that that's why these lessons are so important because you're changing the perception of a culture."

"You never know what can happen, but it's better to teach your child how to be safer on the water, than to limit them." Jones says. "Let your child be successful around water because your child's going to want to be around water. Especially now because it's hot. Every single place that I say to the kids, 'How do you like being in the water now?' and every hand shoots up in the air. It's important that we teach them how to be safer around that water."