Narrator: Recently, I was talking to a friend who said that she knew the perfect guy for me because all he dates are Asians. What? Yeah. He's got a yellow fever.
She said it like it was a good thing which is not. Men with 'yellow fever' look at you and they only see school girls or sexual geishas. They hide samurai sword collections in their closet and they learn how to speak in Asian language and only talk to you in that freaking language.
Ohayo gozaimazu. Anatawo ogenki desu ka.
English is my first language.
So desu ne.
I would really prefer if we spoke English, because, you know, this is America. You're white.
Dewo nihongga wa sugoi usukuchi.
Stop it. These men, the problem with them is that they don't give a fuck about who you really are. The idea of you is enough. I don't understand why, why you would romanticize an entire race as being submissive or weak or docile or delicate or fragile or whatever the fuck is the allure of Asian women.
Oh, I'm sorry. But do these guns look like they're very submissive to you? No? Okay. Well how about these?
And yet the exact opposite happens to Asian men. They have such a terrible history of being emasculated. Sorry bro.
Now, look. There's nothing wrong with having a type. Having a type, knowing what you like, what you're attracted to, that's fine. But yellow fever is when the only pre-requisite for me to become your potential partner is the color of my skin. That's cheap. That's offensive. You're an asshole. Go away. Pisses me off so much.
Men come up and they're like, "All my ex-girlfriends are Asian". Like, what the fuck does that mean to me. That doesn't mean shit to me and that just means you're a racist asshole. You might as well come up to me and be like, "I'm a racist asshole." because then at least I'd be like, "Oh, he's honest. That's cool."
Oh my God. Okay. Stay awesome guys and I'll see you next week. It's been a crazy week. Oh, just a quick update on the short films, I'm so sorry that I'm behind on my 12th of the year. The break up and the move and all that stuff kind of like made me fall behind, but I've got two beauty pageant ones coming out. One is a fantasy, post-apocalyptic-y, beauty pageant that Maegan wrote. It's about a contestant who keeps having strange visions and then I have intergalactic beauty pageant which I wrote, coming out in collaboration with Ron Howard's studio, New Form Digital. Then, I'm also working on a puppet one and a dance one. I'm just working, working, working, working. Keep calm. Work had. Work smart. You can do it. I had coffee clearly each day, yeah! I've been talking for a long time. All right. For real, bye.There may be small errors in this transcript.