If You Feel Insecure Because Your Thighs Don’t Have 'Dat Gap,' Goofy Scientists Will Help You Out

Join these goofy scientists as they journey into the heart of the Internet’s Ye Olde Arbitrary Beauty Standards Factory and then light it on metaphorical fire. *evil laugh*

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The thigh gap, one of human evolution's greatest mysteries.

When we see something like the thigh gap in human evolution, we need to ask ourselves, "Why."

Historically speaking, the thigh gap pops up about the same time that yoga pants are introduced to the colony.

It became a kind of mass cultural delusion, engaging in the idolatry of nothingness, uttering strange incantations like "Dat gap."

I studied the thigh gap in its natural habitat, trying to understand what function it served. Turns out, none. It's actually bad for balance, and your pussy gets cold.

So why did this stupid thing become a popular stupid thing?

One speculation is sexual selection. Perhaps it was attractive to males in the tribe.

This idea runs contrary to their extensively documented interest in "dat ass." A woman with a thigh gap could not have the proper amount of junk in the trunk. I'm sorry.

Another problem here, and this is where it gets really, really cool, is that if women evolved less muscle over time, it stands to reason that they would need more protection from predators, right? But, if you look at the evolution of men over time, it's not likely they could provide any protection at all.

So, how did this arbitrary measure of bone structure become a standard of beauty? I don't know. We're not scientists, we're just the history channel.

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College Humor is responsible for so much goodness and laughter in this world. This “Anthropology of the Thigh Gap” video is only the beginning.

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Lori White

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