The legislation he jokes about gained national attention when Virginia legislators proposed a bill in 2012 that would have required most women seeking an abortion to first undergo a transvaginal ultrasound (aka a probe inserted into the vagina for no medically necessary reason ... eek!). It moved forward, but the language was ultimately changed. So that's good, but mandated ultrasounds are still a huge tactic in the anti-abortion movement, and they are imposed all over the place. Maybe even in your state?

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I'm from Virginia, though, which is home of the transvaginal ultrasound law, and ham. Those are the two things we're known for. I don't know how you order it, I prefer ham.

If you don't know what transvaginal ultrasound law is, I'll explain. That's the law where they say, you go have an abortion and they're like, "You want some baby pictures first?" That's literally what the law says. Like 20 states have laws like that proposed, where someone had to go and get an abortion and they make you watch a video clip first, and look through a picture book of fetuses for some reason.

All they're trying to do is get your doctor talk you out of the abortion. That's it. My doctor can't even talk me out of eating bacon.

Look, I don't know what kind of use car salesmen are working at the abortion clinics. How does it even go? You show up and go, "Yeah, I'm here for an abortion."

"Can I interest you in a baby?"

No, literally, the opposite of that situation?

"Look, here's a picture of a fetus with a party hat on!"

"What's that behind your ear? Someone who will take care of you when you're old?"

If they're gonna do that, shouldn't they also be required to show you pictures how your life will be affected if you choose to have the child?

Like, "Look, here's all your friends having fun without you!"

"Look at this one,"

"That one's blank."

"That's how much money you'll have!"

There may be small errors in this transcript.

This little bit comes from funny man Andy Kline. Follow him on Twitter!

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