‘I am tired of feeling helpless’: Gen X mom admits her kids have it harder than she did
Hard work doesn’t solve everything anymore.

Jessica McCabe explains why her 20-something kids have it so much harder than she did.
Historically, there’s always been a battle between older and younger generations. Invariably, the older generation will always say that the younger kids are lazier or softer than they were growing up. We’ve seen this over the past few years with baby boomers accusing millennials of being entitled and oversensitive.
But Jessica McCabe, 51, who is retired from the Air Force, is bucking the historical trend by pointing out that the game has changed since she was in her 20s. In a passionate rant, she says it’s much harder for her 25- and 28-year-old kids to get by.
The video has obviously struck a chord on TikTok, where it’s received over 11.5 million views and 68,000 comments. Her primary complaint is how costly it is for her hard-working kids to afford housing.
"I am so tired of feeling helpless as a parent,” McCabe says in the video. “Yes, my kids are grown adults. My oldest is 28. My youngest is 25. And I thought by teaching them what I learned, which is you work hard, you get a good job, you're gonna get the things in life that you need, right? Worked for me. Why wouldn't it work for them? Because it doesn't, because the world has f**king changed."
Warning: Video contains strong language.
@that1crazy72 Its no wonder there is a mental health crisis amoung the younger generation..and to make matters worse most cant afford to get treated and if they do they are told to “get a better job” what happened to the middle class just wanting to make w decent living? #housingcrisis #mentalhealth #americandream #rent #longervideos #howtoretire
McCabe makes a compelling point that things have changed over the past few decades and that it’s unfair for older people to judge younger people on the same terms.
"I see them struggling, and before my generation comes at me, yes, I understand struggling as a part of life. We all struggle, but there's a difference between struggling and drowning. So we struggled, and it was tough. But you know what? We made it. We knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel with our struggle. It seems like kids today, no matter how much they struggle, they just get further and further down."
Even when McCabe's kids do the right thing, it’s still not enough to get by. Even though her son has a college degree, he still had to move back into her home.
"I told my son, all you have to do is work hard, go to college, or join the military like I did. He went to college, got his degree, got a full-time job,” McCabe said. “It's been 10 months. He has saved almost every dime and still can't afford to live. Why are one-bedroom studio apartments almost $2,000 a month. Why?"
Her daughter had a similar problem buying a house.
"She wanted to buy her own house. My daughter worked six days a week, 12 hours a day to save up enough for this down payment and finally got this house. She's paying double what I'm paying for my mortgage, but her loan was the same amount,” she said.
The mother’s complaints drew much support on TikTok, where other people deal with the same issues.
"Thank you for seeing the reality of this. So many parents/grandparents don’t understand this struggle," Don't Mess With Mamma Taylor wrote.
"This is why my 27 yr old still lives with me. Neither one of us can afford to be on our own," Crissi Smith added.
"Nothing that worked for me as a Gen X works for my kids. The rules are stacked against them," RHO wrote.
For those who have a hard time understanding the younger generations' housing struggles, the numbers don’t lie. Over the past 20 years, the average U.S. home price has risen from about $140,000 to $340,000 as of April 2023.
Things aren’t much better for renters.
For the past 20 years, Moody’s has been tracking the rent-burdon threshold that measures the percentage of one’s income paid on rent. In 2023, for the first time since monitoring the metric, the typical American renter now spends over 30% of their income on rent.
“If we’re looking at the low- to moderate-income families, they are taking 40 percent and above all of their income on the rent, even if the metro [area] itself hasn’t crossed that 30 percent line yet,” said Moody’s Analytics senior economist Lu Chen told The Hill.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.