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A person outrageously told me I was 'too short.' Here's what I wish I'd said back.

"If you're looking for a superstar, start looking down."

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A tall man and a shorter woman.

With every Facebook or Instagram ad, it can often feel like we're constantly being told that a beauty standard exists and none of are living up to it. "Drink THIS to get slimmer, eat THAT to gain muscles." It's exhausting and can truly do a number on self-esteem from an early age.

In Psychology Today's article "Words have Weight: the Many Forms of Body Shaming" author Alice E. Schluger, Ph.D. poses the question, "When was the last time you looked in the mirror and admired your reflection? We are bombarded with images of perfect bodies on TV, in magazines, and all over social media. In our weight-conscious culture, physical appearance often overrides health considerations."

But what if we could simply deny those societally-imposed "standards," and start writing a script where we (gasp) actually love our bodies? The thing is, we totally can.

This was recently put to the test for me in terms of height. "Fun-sized," is what they used to say in college. I'm five foot two and, frankly, I never gave it much thought. Not too long ago, however, I was meeting a friend's 27-year-old daughter for the first time. Upon seeing me, in heels, she exclaimed, "My dad didn't mention you were SO SHORT. You're too short."

I was taken aback. I was stunned. I don't think she meant it nefariously per se. But it felt so strange because I walk around all day in my body without thinking about my inches. For someone to fixate on it and scream it to me? Well, that felt odd.

reese witherspoon, shortness, short celebs, body shaming Reese Witherspoon saying "No." Giphy

Sure, there were "clap-backs" with which I could have replied. From the subreddit r/Comebacks, there are tons of choices, the most scathing of which might be, "I can see all your chins from here." The issue with hitting them where it hurts is you're perpetuating the cycle of shame and, frankly, becoming the very bully who's hurting you to begin with. The old adage "Hurt people hurt people" is so true, and if we recognize it before we do it, we can be part of the solution rather than the problem.

The key is to reframe what being short even means. For many, it's not negative in the slightest. While many memes will tell us how important it is to embrace body positivity, it's nice when it comes from external sources too. The more positive representation for every body type, the better. So what I wish I'd said is, "Yeah. Like Lady Gaga. And Reese Witherspoon and Ariana Grande and Salma Hayek and Scarlett Johansson and Quinta Brunson and Sabrina Carpenter. The list goes on." Or, in going back to the Reddit thread, there were lots of sweet ways to own my inches proudly without lashing back. My favorite—and what I wish I'd said, "So the worst thing about me is that there isn't MORE of me?"

Quinta Brunson hosts SNL and sings about being short. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC

Short men have also been an inspiration on this topic lately. Being short for guys has been challenging in years past. Just recently, a few online dating sites made the news for allowing height to be filtered, resulting in some shorter men getting pushed out of the algorithm. (In an Upworthy story, Evan Porter humorously suggests more sensible filters than height, such as "Can the person spell?")

Tom Cruise, short king, celebrities, mission impossible, short Tom Cruise in a scene from Mission: Impossible Giphy

However, there has been a clear turn in body positivity for shorter men. Articles like "5 Reasons Short Guys Make the Best Husbands" from Your Tango note that shorter men, on average, live longer. And, as mentioned, there's more representation in the media. Notoriously, Tom Cruise showed the world what a short king could do. Couples like Tom Holland, photographed beautifully with his much taller fiancé Zendaya, are giving men the much-deserved confidence boost some really need.

Just a couple of years ago, an opinion piece ran in The New York Times called "There Has Never Been a Better Time to be Short." Among many claims, writer Mara Altman notes, "Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of overpopulation and global warming, they may be best suited for long-term survival.”

Comedian Dan Toomey (@Dhtoomey on TikTok) has some fun with the article as a short king himself:

@dhtoomey

Breaking news, short kings #news #short #nyc #dating

At the end of the day, it's not about being short or tall or thin or fat. It's about challenging beauty norms and embracing our wonderous, unique bodies that house our hearts and lungs and bones. Ya know, those organs that keep us breathing and alive. Oprah Winfrey's advice on the matter is perfection:

"Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others."




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Tom Holland and Zendaya share how 'ridiculous' height stereotypes are for straight couples

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Zendaya and Tom Holland.

Tom Holland and Zendaya are no strangers to shutting down public interference when it comes to their relationship. The "Spider-Man" co-stars have already addressed feeling “robbed of privacy” after photos were leaked of Holland kissing Zendaya, before their relationship had been made publicly official.

For the record, Holland is reported to be 5’ 8”. Zendaya, on the other hand, is 5’ 10”. And for some reason, that height difference causes quite a commotion for fans. So much so that both Holland and Zendaya ended up addressing the “issue” while promoting "Spider-Man: No Way Home" on SiriusXM last Friday (Dec 10).

Tom Holland and Zendaya on the "ridiculous"stereotypes about their height difference.www.youtube.com

SiriusXM host Jessica Shaw mentioned that in the previous movie, "Spider-Man: Far From Home," Peter Parker (Holland) and MJ (Zendaya) share an onscreen kiss. No efforts were made to cheat the fact that Zendaya had a couple of inches over her co-star.

“And then it became this thing,” Shaw reflected.

In jest, Holland quickly defended that Zendaya was “not that much taller” than him. One, two inches tops.

He then noted how utterly bewildered he was that people just couldn’t figure out how the kiss could possibly be done. “It must have been so difficult,” he says sarcastically.

Zendaya also added, “it’s a nice sweet moment between them … why not just let it be?”

Shaw pivoted the conversation, saying that the public reaction indicates something much more misogynistic and problematic: the expectation that men should always be taller than women in straight relationships. Anything else just isn’t normal.

“My mom is taller than my dad, my mom’s taller than everyone,” Zendaya rebuked, saying, ”this is normal too.”

“It’s a stupid assumption,” added Holland, as he shared that during Spider-Man screen tests, every girl tested was taller than him.

"I had wondered if that was a decision that Jon [Watts, the director] had made. There was no one tested that was shorter than me,” he told Shaw, adding, “maybe that was a decision Jon Watts made and something he was aware of and wanted to break the stereotype. I think it's great."

Holland, never short on fun quips, also gave the disclaimer “to be fair, I am quite short.”

Despite the polite pushback, Zendaya and Holland remain good sports. As seen in this clip from "The Graham Norton Show," where they joke about how their height difference affected some of the movie's stunts.

As Zendaya explains, "There's a particular stunt where Spider-Man swings us on top of a bridge, and he places me there. … Because of our height difference ... we were attached, so I would land before him. My feet obviously hit the ground before he does.”

Then there's a hilarious demonstration where Zendaya catches a falling Tom Holland. Physics fundamentals are no match for movie magic.

"It’s so nice to be caught for a change!” Holland exclaims.

“Like … it’s not a weird thing for women to be tall,” chorused "No Way Home"’s Jacob Batalon, who also appeared at the SiriusXM interview, adding “it just sucks that it has to be a conversation. Like it can't just be normal.”

Zendaya reflected coolly, "I honestly never thought of it as a thing because my parents were always that way, so I didn't know that people cared."

It most certainly does not have to be a thing. And, as Shaw pointed out, seeing a taller MJ alongside a shorter Peter Parker seems tiny, but it can make a huge impact. Dispelling societal myths on the big screen can help change the mainstream real-life narrative as well. That is, after all, the true power (and great responsibility) of pop culture.

Hopefully with this obsolete construct out of the way, we can all focus on what really matters: that "Spider-Man: No Way Home" will be in theaters in only a few days time.

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What is the 'digital divide'? Zendaya grew up in it. And she wants it closed.

For Amanda Acevedo, getting on the honor roll meant fighting through a lot of physical pain.

The 10-year-old from East Harlem, New York, didn't have a reliable computer at home or school to complete her assignments in the evening. In order to keep up in class, she was often left with no choice but to write out entire essays using her thumbs on her mother's cell phone.

Can you imagine?

GIF via "Without a Net: The Digital Divide In America."

Rory Kennedy couldn't — until she witnessed it herself.

“[Acevedo] would sit there and you would hear her thumbs crack and she would talk about it being painful," explains a dumbfounded Kennedy, director of the film, "Without a Net: The Digital Divide in America," which features Acevedo's story.

I'm speaking with Kennedy at the documentary's New York Film Festival premiere on Oct. 3, where a number of the film's supporters — most notably, "Spider-Man: Homecoming" star Zendaya — rallied behind its cause. "I thought, my God," Kennedy continues, as we chat a few minutes before her film debuts to a full house. "We are making it physically painful for poor kids to learn in this country.”

"Without a Net" shines a light on the discrepancies between the haves and have-nots when it comes to technology in our public schools.

The film paints a startling picture.

In wealthier districts, students tend to have far more tech resources at their disposal than students in poorer ones. A Pennsylvania high school in "Without a Net," for instance, boasts a popular, well-funded robotics course, but just a few miles away, another school struggles to integrate even a few basic computers into its curriculum. The money's just not there.

It's a "digital divide" that'll cost us in more ways than one if we don't act. By 2020, the U.S. Department of Labor estimates 77% of all jobs will require computer skills — a figure that will only increase throughout the following decades. This issue isn't just about equality, it's about long-term economic security too. If future generations don't have the necessary skills for 21st-century jobs, we'll all be left behind.  

For Zendaya, the "digital divide" hits particularly close to home.

Zendaya at the screening of "Without A Net: The Digital Divide in America." Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images for Verizon Foundation.

The Hollywood star, who eagerly threw her support behind Kennedy's documentary, is an ambassador to the #WeNeedMore campaign by Verizon — an effort to make tech more accessible in underfunded schools. The telecom giant co-produced the film.

Stories like Acevedo's, Zendaya says, hit close to home.

"I grew up in [the digital divide]," she explains, dressed in a glittery gown on the red carpet — worlds away from the working class Oakland, California, community where she was raised. "It’s something that I’ve lived firsthand." As a child, Zendaya attended a well-resourced private school where her dad worked and had the privilege of benefiting from financial aid. But her mom taught at a struggling school in the area's public school system; the stark contrast left a lasting impression on the actor.

"How do you have a school where kids are able to experiment with coding and build robots and then you have schools that don’t even have Wi-Fi?" Zendaya continued. "What are you telling those children?"

As Zendaya notes, pointing to her learnings from the film, the solution isn't to go out and buy a bunch of iPads either. It's more complicated than that.

"Without a Net" dove into the three major barriers keeping tech inaccessible for millions of students:

  1. There's a lack of tech products in schools. Thousands of schools simply don't have the funds to buy every student a laptop or create classes like coding and robotics.
  2. There's a lack of internet connection in schools. Particularly in poorer, rural areas of the country, connecting to high-speed internet is surprisingly difficult and astonishingly expensive. Despite progress in recent years, 23% of school districts still don't have sufficient bandwidth to meet the needs for digital learning, according to the Education SuperHighway.
  3. There's a lack of tech-trained teachers in schools. Even if products are available and the internet's up and running, training teachers on how to use the products in their classrooms is quite costly. In fact, 60% of teachers feel they haven't been adequately trained on using technology in the classroom, a 2015 survey by Samsung found.

"The things my mom had to do just to get computers in the classroom or just to get Wi-Fi or just get arts education," Zendaya said, shaking her head in frustration. She may have blossomed into a Hollywood movie star, but she's clearly still agitated by the injustice undermining her hometown. "[My mom] worked too hard to do something that should just be there."

One thing those three major barriers have in common? Yep, you spotted it: They all cost money. Lots of it. And inner-city schools, like Acevedo's in New York City, as well as a good number of rural districts simply do not have that funding.

School funding is largely contingent — and arguably overly dependent — on local property taxes.

In affluent communities, where businesses are flourishing and property values are high, public schools reap the benefits in their bank accounts. In districts where business is scarce and property values are lower, the local tax pool schools dependent on is significantly reduced. As the film noted, this massive inequality — seen in metropolitan areas like Detroit, Philadelphia, and Chicago — means some schools have the funds for more and better qualified teachers, nutritious lunches, innovative art programs, and classroom technologies, while others barely make ends meet.

A Chicago student protests cuts to public school funding in 2013. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

We desperately need change. And you can be part of it.

Kennedy is encouraging viewers to hold public screenings of her film — which is free to view on YouTube, as seen below — to raise public awareness of the issues at play and push for change at the grassroots level.

But students can play a role in making a difference too. Zendaya hopes underserved kids who see the film feel inspired to speak out in their own communities and challenge the status quo. Their futures are worth it, after all.

"Your voice is powerful, your voice is strong," she says. "It’s OK to go ahead and ask for what you think you deserve."

Watch "Without a Net: The Digital Divide in America," below and learn more at DigitalDivide.com.

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These 5 millennials are changing the name — and age — of activism right now.

For many years, critics and studies denounced young people for not voting or being apathetic toward politics and activism.

In the past few years, though, a number of teens, tweens, and everything in between have been outspoken on topics such as race, gender, class, and sexuality, raising the awareness level of passionate young people around the globe.    

From crushing the patriarchy to advocating for better educational facilities for historically underserved kids, these adolescents are showing the world that age ain't nothin' but a number, but it's a number that, when used right, can change the world.  

Check out these young activists:

1. 17-year-old Yara Shahidi

Photo by Rich Fury/Getty Images for H&M.

A winner of the Young, Gifted and Black Award from BET and a recipient of college recommendation letters from Michelle Obama, actress Shahidi is using her brilliance, grace, and youth to change the world.

The "Black-ish" and soon-to-be "Grown-ish" actress has spoken openly and lovingly about being an informed, outspoken teenager in an age of fake news and twisted ideology on American values. She's defended immigrants, Muslims, LGBTQ folks, and other groups often targeted by hate and bigotry while also using her platform as an example for young women of color.  

"For me, just by being on a show called 'Black-ish,' race became an unavoidable conversation," Shahidi told Teen Vogue. "It gave me this platform to address these topics, and that opened the doors to develop my voice in an intentional way."

An outspoken fan of James Baldwin that's headed to Harvard, it's clear that Shahidi is one of many paving the way for young activists to make their voices heard.  

2. 18-year-old Amandla Stenberg

Photo by Mike Windle/Getty Images for WE Day.

Stenberg has been a trailblazer for young, queer women of color. The bisexual, biracial actress and singer shut down critics who complained that her portrayal of Rue in "The Hunger Games" was problematic back when she was still a young tween. Since then, Stenberg has given speeches on authenticity, spoken out against racism and white supremacy, worked to provide spaces for queer people of color, and continuously advocates for black women to unapologetically be their true selves.

The rising star continues to use her work in art and music to increase representation and is extremely dedicated to amplifying the voices of teenagers.

"I think people discredit teenagers and how wise they can be," Stenberg said in an Instagram post. "Sometimes, I meet teenagers who are much wiser than many adults I've met, because they haven't let any insecurities or doubts about themselves get in the way of their thoughts."

3. 21-year-old Zendaya

Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images.

OK, OK, so Zendaya technically is not a teenager, but the Disney star and outspoken activist made some serious waves during her teenage years and continues to do so as she gets older. After dropping her publicist for making racist comments, Zendaya speaks out about racism in the television industry and its disproportionate effects on young black women.

4. 15-year-old Rowan Blanchard

Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images for Glamour.

The breakout star of "Girl Meets World" gained notoriety when she penned a heartfelt and eloquent letter after the show was cancelled. The TV star praised her own generation — often criticized for being lazy — as being "extraordinary" and capable of creating a better world.

"Teens determine and influence all of this in general, and I hope and think our show reflects you for how you are: brave, opinionated, audacious, devoted, dynamic, loving, nurturing, and powerful. ... I will continue to fight to not be talked down to by the shows, books, and movies, that are aimed towards us. I am sorry that this channel is just not able to understand that (don’t think for a moment this happened because of you.) But I know what we are capable of. I know very well what we did. I am above all humbled to know I belong to such an extraordinary generation. What an honor."

She's kept her promise to continue working to change the world by advocating on the behalf of young girls, encouraging diverse representation, and committing to being an activist, even when the cause doesn't affect her.  

"To me, activism is a need to know, a need to explain, and a need to help," Blanchard told Teen Vogue. "At first I was very scared of the term. I thought, 'Am I actually doing enough?' Then I realized that oftentimes existing is activism in itself."

5. 16-year-old Willow Smith

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images.

As a singer, Smith has become very popular within R&B and indie circuits, but her work outside the studio is even more revolutionary. The 16-year-old has been vocal in calling out white supremacy and class discrimination, while also being an advocate for changing gender norms and creating safe spaces for people who don't fit the binary. The young star continues to perform in speak in ways to are revolutionary in their existence, and it's clear she is just beginning.

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