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sex ed

TikTok creator educates himself on female anatomy.

It’s no secret that some people born without female anatomy may be a bit unfamiliar with what goes into having a uterus. Sometimes eyes are rolled about the uninformed, but when someone goes out of their way to educate themselves so they can be a better partner in the future, it's definitely worth celebrating. TikTok creator Darius Covington seeks out information that is otherwise kept to the owners of uteruses and he does it in the most respectful and genuine way. It’s honestly quite refreshing.

Covington asks his followers (which are mostly women) things he should learn about the female experience. His followers do not disappoint. He’s gotten requests about researching a speculum to the correct way to insert an IUD. Covington has searched it all and even tried drinking from a menstrual cup that he blindly picked up at the store. His reaction to reading the directions after placing the cup to his lips will have you in stitches.


@thedariuscovington

#answer to @spidermark790 Just a self reminder as I complain about my allergies 😭😭😂 #fyp #foryoupage #funny #fail #failarmy #trending #relabtable

The best part about Covington’s videos is how dedicated he is to getting the information correct and making sure to acknowledge his commenters' requests and explanations. When learning about the process a body goes through to give birth, he bewilderingly looks at the camera and says, “You choose to go through this process more than once, sometimes more than twice.” It's the honest reactions and genuine curiosity that keep people coming back.

@thedariuscovington

Reply to @amelia_arielle thanks amelia 😭#fyp #foryoupage #funny #fail #relatable #trending #failarmy #greenscreen


While the brave creator is not even close to having children of his own, it’s clear he is training to be a good father to daughters and a good partner to his future wife. Keep educating yourself Darius! We love to see it.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

These 5 awesome apps are way better than your high school sex ed class.

Because caring for your body should be simple and shame-free.

You called your insurance, you got the list of doctors who are on your plan, you called 12 of them to get an appointment within the next three months, and now you're ready. You've finally scheduled an appointment! Congratulations! 

That was a lot of work, wasn't it?

And that's just for finding a primary care provider. The search for specialists — like gynecologists and mental health providers — can be even more frustrating, especially for people without health insurance.


And then there's the issue of comfort. Let's face it: most people are uncomfortable talking about their genitals with anyone, even a doctor. Discomfort leads to avoidance, which means that people are putting off important preventative care visits all because we're embarrassed about our bodies. And that's a really big deal, because more than 50% of people will get an STI at some point in their lives.

Taking care of your sexual health can seem like an unpleasant inconvenience, but it shouldn't be that way.

These two agree with me. Gif via Giphy.

Luckily, the creators of these 5 apps agree. And they're here to help.

These apps can help you book appointments, ask questions safely and anonymously, and just have fun while learning about your body. And an extra plus? You don't have to pay to download them.  

1. Maven gets you face to face with a real doctor, from the comfort of your own home.

One day a few months ago, one of my coworkers walked into the office bubbling with excitement. She had just had an appointment to get birth control —  over a video call on her cell phone. For someone who doesn't own a car or have health insurance, that appointment was a game-changer.

Maven is every over-worked, over-scheduled person's dream. The app, launched in April 2015, allows users to talk with doctors face-to-face through video call technology — so you can make your appointment and never have to leave your bed. We're talking birth control consultations, birth education, and even therapy appointments. Maven's rates are lower than most copays: their sliding scale starts at just $15, and there are no hidden costs, so you won't be surprised by a bill in the mail afterwards. 

Maven lets you select what area you're seeking services in. It also hosts a forum where users can ask questions and get answers.

If the idea of a "teledoctor" sounds scary to you, Maven's got your back. The app doesn't just list providers, they require a rigorous application process before providers can be affiliated with the app. According to the Founder & CEO, Kate Ryder, Maven only has a 35% provider acceptance rate.

Though Maven's tagline is "health and wellness by women, for women," don't let that fool you — Maven is open to people of all genders to use. 

2. Bedsider helps you find your best birth control option.

When I'm teaching workshops at colleges, one of the most common questions students ask is "can I get an IUD? I heard that I can't." After assuring them that yes, people who haven't had kids can get IUDs, and yes, you can get an IUD if you're under 30, I tell them that they should check out Bedsider.org for more information on different forms of birth control.

Bedsider is hands-down one of the most comprehensive birth control information websites out there. Their site allows you to look at an interactive method-by-method breakdown of different birth control options, ranging from withdrawal (the pull-out method) and fertility awareness to IUDs and sterilization. 

Image powered by Bedsider.

Their resources are totally free, and they even offer a second site in Spanish

3. Lemonaid has nothing to do with lemons, and everything to do with urgent care.

Lemonaid seeks to make treating common complaints easier for those with busy schedules and without insurance. Users fill out a questionnaire about their current health concerns, upload a picture of their face (per state regulations), and a medical provider writes a prescription. 

It's that simple.

Users can get prescriptions for birth control pills, antibiotics, acid reflux, and more. There is no sliding scale: you just pay $15 flat. Unfortunately, Lemonaid is only available in a few states — California, Michigan, New York, and Pennsylvania. 

4. My Sex Doctor isn't actually a doctor at all.

My Sex Doctor is like an encyclopedia entirely focused on sex. It offers hundreds of definitions, descriptions of STI symptoms, and answers to commonly asked questions all in one app. For sex geeks and curious learners alike, this app creates an awesome learning space. 

"A" is for...

While this app doesn't give you access to an actual doctor, it can give you is the comfort and safety of being able to get your questions answered anonymously. Which brings me to...

5. SexPositive is the best cell phone game you'll download today. Or ever.

Ask a sex educator what their favorite group activity is, and they'll probably tell you that they love teaching games. Because really, what's not to love about learning and having fun? When I found out about this app, I told all of my friends about it and we played it together, giggling every time the spinner landed on "finger on nose."

SexPositive is the sexual health Wheel of Fortune that you didn't know you needed in your life. Developed by the University of Oregon Health Center, the app allows users to identify the risks associated with different behaviors. 

SexPositive allows users to match up what different body parts and objects to identify risk factors. Rather than just sharing risk info, SexPositive also provides tools for safety and communication.

While they're a ton of fun, apps like SexPositive are also incredibly important for folks who might be embarrassed about not knowing about, say, the potential risk of pregnancy from a hand job. 

Because trust me, people have a lot of questions that they're embarrassed to directly ask someone. Just check out this basket of anonymous question cards at The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health (The CSPH) for proof:  

Saturdays @thecsph -- going through all of our #SSCT question cards for our new video series.

A photo posted by Cassandra Corrado (@feministsexed) on

Shame shouldn't prevent you from seeking quality health care. You deserve to have your questions answered and your health needs fulfilled.

Whether you're looking for information, discrete treatment, or even just convenience, these apps are helping make it happen.

More

1 out of 3 doctors aren't recommending the HPV vaccine. We need to talk about why.

Talking about sex with your teen can be awkward, but we should do it anyway.

A recent survey in Pediatrics found that more than one-third of doctors aren't strongly recommending the HPV vaccine to their preteen patients. That's a lot of doctors, but it's way more patients. 

HPV is the fastest-growing STI in the United States.

The HPV vaccines, known as Gardasil and Cervarix, can protect against some of the most common strains, including some that may lead to cervical cancer. 


The HPV vaccine was introduced in the United States in 2006, and since then, there has been a 56% reduction of the vaccine-covered strains in girls ages 14-19. It's now recommended for all children (not just girls) ages 11 and older.  

When properly administered, the vaccine is nearly 100% effective at preventing cervical, vaginal, and vulvar precancers, and Gardasil prevents about 90% of genital warts.

If it's already made such an impact, why isn't it being recommended?

Basically, doctors aren't recommending the vaccine to patients because they don't want to talk about sex.

This is society when you bring up sex. Except when you're trying to sell something. GIF via "Jane the Virgin."

The Victorians would be so proud. 

Less than 2% of preteens under age 12 are sexually active, but that number increases significantly throughout adolescence. By age 16, 48% of teens are sexually active. 

Kids want to talk to their parents about it. Seriously.

A 2012 survey found that nearly 9 in 10 teens said it would be easier to "postpone sexual activity and avoid pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents." 

Albert, B. (2012). With One Voice 2012: America’s Adults and Teens Sound Off About Teen Pregnancy. Washington, DC: The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Parents want to have these conversations too.

If both parents and teens want to talk to each other, why don't we?

Because it's awkward. Because we feel unqualified. Because we assume that our kids will get that education at school. Unfortunately, sex education still looks like like this in a lot of schools: 

This is statistically not likely to happen, just saying. GIF from "Mean Girls."

A huge part of parenting is talking to your kids about tough topics, even if it's a bit uncomfortable. Here are some ways to start that conversation.

You got this. GIF via "Parks and Recreation."

*deep breaths*

1. Use television shows, movies, and current events to start a conversation.

We often imagine The Talk as something scary, solemn, and heavily planned out. You intercept your teen as they walk in the door after school, and they know immediately. They start mumbling. You start talking about how you're not a regular mom, you're a cool mom. At some point, you both stop making eye contact. 

It doesn't need to be that way. You can use media to open the door, even if that means you just point out articles in the newspaper or ask how they felt about certain moments in their favorite shows. 

2. Start early.

You know how we start learning languages with the alphabet? Talking about sex is like that. You start easy and work your way up.

When children are young, talk to them about boundaries. Talk about what bodies do, and normalize those things. Did you find your first-grader with a tampon up their nose, pretending to be a walrus? Laugh (and take the tampon out of their nose) and tell them what tampons are for. It's a lot less scary to get your period the first time if you actually know what a period is. 

3. Don't think of it as The Talk.

"The Talk" has become such a loaded phrase that all parents within a mile radius instantly groan when someone says "Yeah, we had The Talk last night."

If we stop thinking about it as just one conversation — as The Talk — we start to normalize conversations about sex and sexuality. This goes right along with starting early. If you talk to your kids regularly about their bodies and relationships, it's a lot less scary for everyone. 

4. Come with your own set of questions for your child's doctor.

Health care is a team effort, especially if your children are very young. Come prepared with a set of questions for your doctor. Are you curious about the HPV vaccine? Talk with them about it. If you start the conversation with them about your child's sexual health, they may be more comfortable discussing whether the vaccine — or other health measures — are right for your child. 

But remember — your child may want to talk to their doctor alone. It doesn't mean they don't trust you, it just means that they may feel a bit awkward having that conversation with a group of people. Trust that your doctor will let you know if your child is being hurt by themselves or by another person. 

5. When you don't know, don't fake it.

Repeat after me: It's OK to not know all the answers. If you don't know the answer to a question or if you aren't certain, look it up together! There is no shame in not knowing, and research is often being updated, so what you learned as a teen might not be up-to-date. 

Some websites that you can turn to for accurate, up-to-date information are ScarleteenSex, Etc., Our Bodies Ourselves, and The Guttmacher Institute.

I'm not saying it's always going to be easy.

But if you could help your child stay healthy and have healthy relationships, wouldn't you want to? We've come a long way in preventing HPV, treating STIs, and preventing and treating HIV. So let's not let our fear of sex hold us back. 

\n\n

Let's show those doctors that we're ready to talk about it. 

Amy Poehler. She's the greatest, right?

RIGHT?


RIGHT?!

RIGHT.

So let's remember the show (more than "SNL"!) that introduced America to how truly awesome Amy was, is, and will be forever. And ever.

She's got a way of making you laugh but also making you wonder ... Am I a better person now? And also, how am I still laughing?

Here's how it's done.

Dear "Parks and Rec," thank you for the invite to Wisdomtown ... capital city, Amy-is-the-best-ville.

Let's take a field trip!

1. You shamelessly discuss same-sex relationships ...

All images via "Parks and Recreation."

2. You made men's rights activists seem appropriately ridiculous:

Are you for real, dude?

And thank you.

3. You took stereotypes about women and men — and kapow. You helped us realize that they are silly.

Women deserve opportunities in careers that aren't typically "female" — like sanitation jobs!

4. "Parks and Rec" made playing with pronouns cool. He/she/boy/girl/him/her/you, what? All of us!

Ben could be Michelle!

Leslie could be a real stand up guy!

Andy could be a lady!

Boys can be goddesses!

We all know Chris Pratt makes a beautiful goddess. No contest.

5. "Parks and Rec" proved that, despite stereotypes to the contrary, women can hold leadership roles...

...and men can hold kitchen roles!

Don't keep Ben out of the calzone zone. Don't keep Leslie out of the boardroom. You do you, Leslie. You do you, Ben!

6. Leslie shamelessly hearts lady parts.

She's a poet. And she knows it.

7. And don't forget the open and honest sex talks!

Teaching old folks how to put condoms on a banana. Classic.

"Condoms! Safe sex for everyone! Let's party."

Amy keeps it real. #blessed

8. "Parks and Rec" showed that representation is important for gender equality.

9. You showed that it's totally OK (and even adorable) when dudes cry...

...and it's totes fine when they're depressed or anxious, too!

Masculinity is no prison in Pawnee!!!

10. You showed the power of second chances, friendship, and the dignity of work.

Oh, Amy. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and I hope it never ends.

Amy for president!