Pallbearers holding a coffin.
In the 2020 series finale of the philosophical sitcom “The Good Place,” Kristen Bell’s Eleanor character poignantly reflects on what it means to be human. “Every human is a little bit sad all the time because you know you're going to die. But that knowledge is what gives life meaning,” she says. And it’s true: The fact that our lives will end makes the time we spend on this planet much more meaningful.
You only have so much time on this planet; how will you choose to spend it? What goals will you pursue? Who will you help? What will you contribute? What will your job be? Who will you spend your time with?
One way to figure out the answers to these big questions is to put it all on paper. Victor Sweeney, 33, a funeral director in Warren, Minnesota, chooses to do so by rewriting his obituary once a year to help him focus on the things that really matter in life. Working in the death business must give one a unique perspective on these matters of life and death.
Even though Sweeny has lived another year, he makes more edits to his obituary than additions. “Each year, my obituary gets shorter and shorter,” he told CNBC’s Make It. “It’s not that I’m doing less, but that there are fewer and fewer things that really, truly matter.”
Sweeney tells CNBC that every time he rewrites his obituary, he realizes that what truly matters to him are his family and service to others. Since 2015, Sweeney has slowly removed references to his accomplishments or career. “Now it’s like, ‘He lived, he loved, he had some kids.’ That’s about it,” he says.
The significant benefit of writing your own obituary is that you can reverse engineer your own life. You can list everything you set out to do and make your true purpose concrete. As you grow, you can make additions and subtractions as your purpose evolves.
Then, you can follow the path laid out in your obituary, which becomes a roadmap for life. “Writing your own obituary helps you uncover your life purpose. This exercise will help you find meaning and focus—live your life the way you want to be remembered,” Gustavo Razzetti writes in Fearless Culture.
A woman writing her obituary. via Canva/Photos
Wring your own obituary is also a way to “Blue Sky” the way you think about your life. “Blue Sky” speculation is a technique the Imagineers use to design attractions at Disney Parks and generate ideas without limitations. As the engineers say, “If it can be dreamt, it can be built.” What would be your “Blue Sky” dreams for your life? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do for work? What organizations would you like to start or be part of? How many kids would you like to have? Who is your perfect partner? What do you want your impact on the world to be?
Some may think that writing an obituary, especially early in life, is a morbid practice that makes them uncomfortable. However, with our limited time on Earth, realizing your own mortality too late in life, could mean the difference between following your dreams and staying in bed. Because when we live without considering our deaths, we are not truly thinking about life itself. That discomfort is a small price to pay for waking up one day and realizing that your time is limited, but you came to that truth too late to do anything about it.