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obituary

Pallbearers holding a coffin.

In the 2020 series finale of the philosophical sitcom “The Good Place,” Kristen Bell’s Eleanor character poignantly reflects on what it means to be human. “Every human is a little bit sad all the time because you know you're going to die. But that knowledge is what gives life meaning,” she says. And it’s true: The fact that our lives will end makes the time we spend on this planet much more meaningful.

You only have so much time on this planet; how will you choose to spend it? What goals will you pursue? Who will you help? What will you contribute? What will your job be? Who will you spend your time with?

One way to figure out the answers to these big questions is to put it all on paper. Victor Sweeney, 33, a funeral director in Warren, Minnesota, chooses to do so by rewriting his obituary once a year to help him focus on the things that really matter in life. Working in the death business must give one a unique perspective on these matters of life and death.


Even though Sweeny has lived another year, he makes more edits to his obituary than additions. “Each year, my obituary gets shorter and shorter,” he told CNBC’s Make It. “It’s not that I’m doing less, but that there are fewer and fewer things that really, truly matter.”

Sweeney tells CNBC that every time he rewrites his obituary, he realizes that what truly matters to him are his family and service to others. Since 2015, Sweeney has slowly removed references to his accomplishments or career. “Now it’s like, ‘He lived, he loved, he had some kids.’ That’s about it,” he says.

The significant benefit of writing your own obituary is that you can reverse engineer your own life. You can list everything you set out to do and make your true purpose concrete. As you grow, you can make additions and subtractions as your purpose evolves.

Then, you can follow the path laid out in your obituary, which becomes a roadmap for life. “Writing your own obituary helps you uncover your life purpose. This exercise will help you find meaning and focus—live your life the way you want to be remembered,” Gustavo Razzetti writes in Fearless Culture.

obituary, meaning in life, writingA woman writing her obituary. via Canva/Photos

Wring your own obituary is also a way to “Blue Sky” the way you think about your life. “Blue Sky” speculation is a technique the Imagineers use to design attractions at Disney Parks and generate ideas without limitations. As the engineers say, “If it can be dreamt, it can be built.” What would be your “Blue Sky” dreams for your life? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do for work? What organizations would you like to start or be part of? How many kids would you like to have? Who is your perfect partner? What do you want your impact on the world to be?

Some may think that writing an obituary, especially early in life, is a morbid practice that makes them uncomfortable. However, with our limited time on Earth, realizing your own mortality too late in life, could mean the difference between following your dreams and staying in bed. Because when we live without considering our deaths, we are not truly thinking about life itself. That discomfort is a small price to pay for waking up one day and realizing that your time is limited, but you came to that truth too late to do anything about it.

Tilikum, the SeaWorld orca whale and subject of the documentary "Blackfish," passed away on Jan. 6, 2017. He was 35.

Image from Milan Boers/Wikimedia Commons.


The cause of death will be officially determined after a necropsy, but veterinarians were treating Tilikum for a bacterial lung infection and other age-related health issues at the time of his death, according to a statement from SeaWorld.

Tilikum was likely born in the fall of 1981, as the member of a larger pod of wild orcas.

A wild orca whale and her calf near the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in 2014. Image from Mike Charest/Flickr.

Orcas, also known as killer whales, are social animals that often live in large, tight-knit groups led by older females. As a newborn, Tilikum would have likely lived with his mother, as well as aunts, cousins, and his grandmother.

However, in 1983, Tilikum was captured and separated from his pod off the coast of Iceland.

A pod of orcas off the coast of Iceland in 2014. Image from Brian Gratwicke/Flickr.

Tilikum was captured as part of a commercial hunt organized to supply orcas to aquariums and shows. He was kept at the Hafnarfjördur Marine Zoo in Iceland before being sold to Sealand of the Pacific, a public aquarium in British Columbia. It was there that he received the name "Tilikum," which means "friend" in Chinook, a Native American language.

In 1991, after Sealand of the Pacific announced that it was closing, SeaWorld became interested in purchasing Tilikum. And, after SeaWorld and the government of Iceland determined that Tilikum's release into the wild was not feasible, SeaWorld bought him in November 1991.

SeaWorld is where most of the public became acquainted with Tilikum.

Image from David R. Tribble/Wikimedia Commons.

While at SeaWorld, Tilikum often worked with trainers and took part in public shows.

“He had a very sweet personality," says Jeffrey Ventre, one of Tilikum's former trainers. "He was always excited to see you in the morning when you came in.”

But though Tilikum had a sweet personality, his life was not necessarily easy.

While in captivity, as a young whale, Tilikum was often bullied by the other orcas, both at SeaWorld and Sealand of the Pacific, says Ventre. Other whales would sometimes rake him with their teeth, leaving long, bloody gashes in his side.

SeaWorld often had to keep him from the other whales for his own protection.

“He was a picked-upon soul," says Ventre.

Tilikum in an observation tank. Image from Sawblade5/Wikimedia Commons.

Unfortunately, this also meant social isolation and boredom. Orcas are highly social animals and while trainers often worked with Tilikum and provided him with different toys, he probably did not get the level of stimulation that he would have in the wild.

And it may have been this combination of stress, isolation, and boredom that Ventre thinks led to Tilikum's darker moments.

Tilikum is perhaps best known for his involvement in the deaths of three people, which resurfaced in the documentary "Blackfish."

The first incident actually happened in 1991, at Sealand of the Pacific, before he arrived at SeaWorld, where Tilikum joined his two other orca poolmates in killing a student and part-time trainer. It was this incident, in fact, that led to Sealand of the Pacific's closure and Tilikum's move to SeaWorld.

The other two incidents occurred at SeaWorld: the first in 1999, when a nighttime intruder was found drowned in Tilikum's tank, and the second in 2010, when Tilikum held his SeaWorld trainer Dawn Brancheau underwater until she drowned. Tilikum was temporarily removed from the public eye in 2010, but returned to performing in March 2011.

Image by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images.

These incidents and Tilikum's prior treatment at the hands of Sealand and SeaWorld were the subject of Gabriela Cowperthwaite's 2013 documentary "Blackfish," which inspired a significant backlash against the practice of keeping orcas in captivity.

Since these incidents and the release of "Blackfish," SeaWorld has implemented new safety procedures to limit and remove human contact with the orcas, has decided to end the orca shows at in U.S. locations, and more recently, announced that it is putting an end to its controversial breeding program.

On March 8, 2016, it was announced that Tilikum was suffering from a serious, potentially fatal lung infection. It may have been this infection that took his life on Jan. 6.

Whether you see Tilikum as a a magnificent, but inherently dangerous animal or a tragic captive, his death is a moment for mourning.

Tilikum during a performance at SeaWorld. Photo by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images.

People who saw Tilikum perform or who watched "Blackfish" couldn't help but feel some sort of emotional connection to him. Perhaps because Tilikum embodied both the worst and best of the relationship between people and nature.

In the end, Tilikum's story inspired us all to care more — and for that, he's a creature worth saying a heartfelt good-bye to.