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Women's Health

Grieving mom hopes to prevent others from experiencing heartache by stressing glucose test

"You using your voice here might just save a life."

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Grieving mom stresses importance of glucose test during pregnancy

It can be easy to get caught up in being a "crunchy mom" when you're trying to do what's best for your baby. Most parents want to be as healthy as possible while they're pregnant to make sure they're nourishing their growing baby with the healthiest things. Spending days going down rabbit holes online researching all the different stages of pregnancy and natural options for things that seem unsafe.

Over the last couple of years there has been incorrect information shared in online spaces about the glucose tolerance test given to pregnant people between weeks 24-28 of pregnancy. This high sugar drink is designed to help child birth professionals determine if the mother is likely to have gestational diabetes. The first glucose test is done over the course of an hour, if it comes back outside of normal range another glucose test will be performed over a three hour timeframe.

If the second test returns an abnormal result, doctors are likely to diagnose the pregnant person with gestational diabetes, which requires a change in diet and sometimes insulin. The condition can be well managed with proper care, but if left untreated gestational diabetes can be dangerous for mother and baby.

closeup photography of pregnant woman wearing blue panty Photo by Ignacio Campo on Unsplash

Untreated gestational diabetes can lead to an abnormally large baby, shoulder dystocia, excessive weight gain in the mother, increase likelihood of a cesarian and in some cases, death. But some pregnant people on social media have been refusing to take the glucose tolerance test or trying to "hack" it by drinking a non approved sugary drink incorrectly assuming it will result in the same outcome. Several doctors, midwives, nurses and nutritionists have warned against this trend attempting to put a stop to it.

Unfortunately, a new voice joined the chorus of people warning of the dangers of skipping out on the glucose test during pregnancy. Cora, who goes by the name, Weylyn's Mama on TikTok recently posted a video sharing why pregnant people should take the glucose tolerance test.

a doctor talking to a pregnant woman in a waiting room Photo by CDC on Unsplash

"I was having a planned home birth and my son died. And let's talk about why I think you should never, ever, ever decline the glucose test," Cora says before continuing. "I was having a planned home birth, so I had a midwife and she did tell me, you know, still offered the test. But I also don't think I properly educated myself or was properly told what could happen besides just a 'big baby.'"

Cora explains that her son was large, weighing over ten pounds which caused him to get stuck in the birth canal, though they were able to safely maneuver him out. Sadly, Weylyn was deceased prior to his birth due to the undiagnosed gestational diabetes.

"But the reason is, I had undiagnosed gestational diabetes and we have no idea for how long," Cora shares before adding that she had sugar in her urine and a test showed elevated blood sugar at 24 weeks, but since her midwife didn't seem concerned, she didn't see the need to worry.

a bottle of juice sitting on a green surface Photo by Piero Nigro on Unsplash

"But I do think it's super important, you know you could take the Fresh Test, you could take, honestly, the glucose test now don't even have food dyes in them anymore so if that's a problem, it's like unless you're so, so, so, so, so crunchy you've genuinely have never eaten a single from a fast food place or a restaurant, the glucose test is not worse than anything else you put into your body, I promise you. I promise you. And there is a huge increase in stillbirth with gestational diabetes. I am aware of that now," the woman warns.

Cora is now expecting again and due to her experience with gestational diabetes was screened early. Her screening showed signs of gestational diabetes so she is having to monitor her blood sugar, which has gone well thus far. The grieving mom hopes her story helps to educate expectant people on the risks of declining the glucose testing and she's advocating for better education around gestational diabetes. People rally to support the mom and thank her for being vulnerable enough to share her experience.

@weylynsmama Passing it should also never be the main goal - the main goal is trying to catch the red flags on if you may have gestational diabetes. I see so many crunchy facebook groups trying to get moms to decline it or pass it with things doctors would NOT recommend. #crunchy #homebirth #lossmama #weylyn #fulltermstillbirth #stillborn #37weekspregnant #glucosetest #pass #fail #gestationaldiabetes #thefreshtest ♬ original sound - Cora | Life after Loss

"My OB said it doesn’t matter how healthy you are or how healthy you eat. EVERYONE needs to take a glucose test because ANYONE can get GD. It all depends on your placenta," One person writes.

Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, OBGYN, shares encouragement, "I’m so sorry this happened. You using your voice here might just save a life. I hope you know how powerful that is."

"Thank you for spreading awareness. I’m an l&d nurse and have seen SUCH extremely bad outcomes from undiagnosed/untreated gestational diabetes & hate how much SM has demonized the test," another commenter says.

couple hug GIFGiphy

"I just wanted to thank you for sharing this because I was about to try the protein hack after failing my 1 hr and had no idea how dangerous it was," an expectant mom shares.

When it comes to being extra healthy and watching what goes into your body while pregnant, listening to your medical professional is best. Hopefully Cora continues to have a healthy pregnancy that leads to a smooth birth and a healthy baby. Nothing will replace Weylyn but sharing her story is already proving helpful in stopping someone else from experiencing the same tragedy.

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Family

After losing her own daughter, a labor nurse supports grieving parents with this device

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

The Cuddle Cot gives grieving parents a chance to say goodbye.

After a little over three months of pregnancy, Ashley Agnitch got the heartbreaking news no parent ever wants to receive. Her daughter, Greta Lynn, had a genetic abnormality and was not expected to survive pregnancy.

Searching for solace, Agnitch discovered an innovative resource called the Cuddle Cot, a cooling bassinet that keeps a baby’s body from deteriorating—without making it too cold—for days. During the most difficult event in a parent’s life, they get a precious gift: time.

Sands East Herts are fundraising to provide @NorthMidNHS, with a new Cuddle Cot (@CuddleCot_Info)

🔽 See below for more info 🔽https://t.co/yvRQQkzQfw pic.twitter.com/n6mAnrKEWX
— Sands (@SandsUK) January 4, 2019

Time to touch. Time to take photos. Time to hold a baptism. Time to introduce the family. Time to say goodbye.

The Cuddle Cot had been unavailable to Agnitch, which was yet another tragedy. But against all odds, Greta had been born and gave her mother “five beautiful hours of life.” However, as Agnitch became a labor and delivery nurse, she could see an overwhelming need for this kind of bereavement support in other families experiencing the loss of a child. And how difficult it was to get.

“I wanted to give local families precious time to bond with their babies,” Agnitch told news sources. So she started a fundraiser to purchase multiple Cuddle Cots, making the resource available to families at two birthing centers on California's Central Coast.

Agnitch writes on the fundraiser’s website, “I started this fundraising campaign to bring Cuddle Cots to local hospitals. I am beyond grateful to share that through generous donations we have been able to provide a Cuddle Cot to both Marian Regional Medical Center and French Hospital. My goal is to continue to provide high volume hospitals with Cuddle Cots. Through this campaign we have also identified a need for digital cameras and photo printers for the birthing units. We cherish our photos with Greta and it is one way we can share her life with our young kids. We would like to provide photos for families that are unable to have a professional photographer at their delivery or during their stay. Beyond your financial contribution you will be giving the gift of time for bereaved families to preserve a lasting memory with their child before saying their final goodbyes.”

So far, Agnitch has raised over $12,000.

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Without this type of resource, babies are often immediately placed in the hospital’s morgue, giving parents little time to grieve. Hopes and dreams are snatched away, both figuratively and literally. According to The New York Times, only 400 to 500 hospitals in the country have Cuddle Cots available, mostly donated. Considering that one in four pregnancies end with child loss, there is no doubt that there is a need for more cots. Agnitch, and others like her, are helping parents create memories and say their goodbyes.

Nothing can ever truly take away the heartbreak of losing a child. But stories like this are a gentle reminder that, through innovation and compassion, support during a difficult time is out there. Even in our deepest pain, the opportunity to create beautiful, lasting memories is available to us. And that is something worth cherishing.

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Ask anyone who has lost a loved one — grief creeps up at the most random times.

It doesn’t matter how many months or years it has been, all it takes is one second for those memories and heartache to rush back. For me, all it took was an awkward moment to remind me that grief never goes away.

I was recently at a routine appointment. As the woman walked into the room, she smiled and said, “How are the kids?” I gave her a puzzled look, wondering if I heard her correctly. As a mother of one surviving triplet, I’m not used to hearing the plural form of “kid.” She repeated herself and that’s when I realized — she didn’t know that two of my children died.

My heart began to race and my breathing became faster as I explained that Abby and Parker had passed away within two months of being born. The tears erupted as my mind instantly flashed back to three years ago, when I said my final good-byes to two of my children.

Image via Christian Haugen/Flickr.

The woman felt terrible and rushed up to hug me. As awkward as I felt, I know she must have been mortified. It was the epitome of a “foot in mouth” moment, and here I was, a grieving mother brought to tears.

I left the office in a daze, my mind stuck on that awkward dialogue.

During the first year after my triplets were born, that was a common question. Some people weren’t aware that two of my babies had died and often asked how the triplets were doing.

Because it’s been three years, this time caught me off guard. I assumed most people knew my situation, or if they didn’t, they thought Peyton was an only child. I may have been surprised by the conversation, but I wasn’t mad or upset. All it takes is a simple mention of my children to bring me to tears. That’s part of living life after loss: the grief never goes away.We may moved forward in life, but we never forget. I wear those tears with pride, a sign that a piece of my heart will always be with Abby and Parker.

There is no perfect handbook on how to grieve the loss of a child.

The same goes for comforting a grieving parent. While a simple hug can go a long way, I was more comforted that day by how the conversation ended between me and the woman.

After mentioning that I only had one survivor, the woman went on to ask about my two angels. She repeated their names as I told her about sweet Abby and her peaceful face. And she listened intently as I shared stories of Parker and Peyton in the NICU. She asked about Peyton and I happily shared how strong and healthy she is today, a far cry from her NICU days.

I may have cried at my appointment, but I left that office with a full heart. As parents who've lost a child will tell you, one of the most comforting things people can do is to say your child’s name. Hearing the woman say “Abby” and “Parker” was a beautiful reminder that they existed, and sharing stories of them warmed my heart.

When I explain to people that my daughter is actually a triplet, their smile turns to shock before a sad look takes over their face.

It’s a common expression that I’m accustomed to seeing. A parent is not supposed to outlive their child, and when people realize that I’m the parent of two angels, it often becomes uncomfortable for them. Grief is a hard topic to talk about, especially when it involves the death of a child.

The awkward encounter I faced is something so many of us parents of pregnancy and child loss experience and it’s something I know I will face often in my lifetime.

While it can stir up emotions and memories that have been tucked away for years, there is something positive that can come out of it. I like to think that each time I’m asked about my children, it’s a sign from above. It’s Parker and Abby’s way of saying, “Hi, Mom,” from heaven. And while the other person may feel uncomfortable, they are actually giving me the best gift of all: the gift of remembering and embracing my children who are no longer here on Earth.

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