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Family

People are sharing the marriage advice that 'sounded absurd' but is actually really helpful

Here are 19 of the best responses.

marriage advice, marriage tips, divorce
via Pexels

Work at it every single day folks.


The best advice isnā€™t always obvious, or else we would have thought of it ourselves. It often comes out of left field and can be counterintuitive. When it comes to marriage, the best advice tends to be centered around keeping a focus on the long game.

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was, ā€œBuy her a bottle of shampoo from time to time without her asking.ā€ Now, that doesnā€™t mean to get shampoo specifically, but just pick up something here and there to show you care and are thinking about her.



Marriage, if done right, is forever, so that often means taking a loss in the short-term to enjoy the long-term benefits of a happy life with someone. This is great as a concept but in practice can be pretty darn hard, day in and day out.

Hence why about 50% of American marriages end in divorce.

Reddit user thecountnotthesaint put out a call to the AskMen forum for some of the best marriage advice that ā€œsounded absurdā€ but was actually helpful.

The question was inspired by some advice the Reddit user had received from their father, who claimed that a king-sized bed is the key to a happy marriage. "I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we made aside from getting married and having kids," they wrote.

A lot of the advice was about being careful not to escalate small disagreements into larger arguments that could turn personal and ugly. A lot of people think that to have a successful marriage means being able to compromise and to let things go quickly.

Here are some of the best responses to the question, ā€œWhat random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?ā€

1.

"Dad said 'Be kind even if youā€™re not feeling it. Maybe especially if youā€™re not feeling it.'ā€ ā€” semantician

2.Ā 

"At my wedding, my wife's Grandmother offered so funny, weird, solid advice. She said, 'If you get angry with each other, go to bed naked and see if you can resolve it before you go to sleep.' So far, so good. Anniversary on Monday!" ā€” drizzyjdracco

3.Ā 

"The advice Iā€™ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. Itā€™s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable. Youā€™ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what youā€™re doing. Source: married 15 years." ā€” LemonFizzy0000

4.Ā 

"My grandfather told me 'Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.' What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking." ā€” t480

5.Ā 

"When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy.' So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor. The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide." ā€” wordserious

6.Ā 

"Focus on tackling the problem, not each other." ā€” bobbobbobbobbob123

7.Ā 


"Donā€™t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on."ā€” nopants_ranchdance

8.Ā 

"Marry him for who he is. Not his potential." ā€” There-is-No-beyond

9.Ā 


"My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude: 'The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.' So, like, yea for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit. If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too. Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes)." ā€” drewkungfu

10.Ā 

"Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated." ā€” BVolatte

11.Ā 

"Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day. It's the little things that show you care." ā€” Purple12Inchruler

12.Ā 


"You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family."
ā€” crazypersn

13.Ā 

"One of my colonels told me: 'Just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.'"ā€” MgoBlue702

14.Ā 

"Be honest. Don't lie to your partner." ā€” Mikeydeeluxe

15.Ā 

"Donā€™t marry a woman whose dad calls her 'princess,' because she probably believes it. Much to his regret, my brother ignored this advice from our dad." ā€” Toadie9622

16.Ā 

"My fiance always says that 'just because' flowers are the best kind of flowers." ā€” agaribay1010

17.Ā 

"My Gramps who was married for over 50 yrs said: 'tell her you love her every single day.' Kind of obvious, but I definitely took it to heart." ā€” sorellk

18.Ā 

"Love isnā€™t about having 'nice feelings for each other.' Itā€™s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you donā€™t feel like it. Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesnā€™t have to." ā€” sirplaind

19.Ā 


"Bill Maher said "The three most important words in a relationship aren't 'I love you', they're 'let it go.' Oddly, this has proven to be some of the best relationship advice I've ever heard."
ā€” KrssCom


This article originally appeared on 05.30.22

From Your Site Articles
Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their ownersā€¦ and the lives of many, many more.

Itā€™s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024ā€™s goodest boys and girls ā€” courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more ā€”that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

assets.rebelmouse.io

When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team ā€” the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes itā€™s smart to have two of ā€œmanā€™s best friends.ā€

assets.rebelmouse.io

Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathyā€ won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. Heā€™s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guestsā€™ legs to ā€œlet them know theyā€™re not alone,ā€ a gesture often called ā€œthe first kindness theyā€™ve experienced in years.ā€

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the poochā€™s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. Itā€™s like they say, ā€œthe nose knows.ā€

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of ā€œthe pride of Taiwanā€ on social media.

Dogs donā€™t only save humans ā€” sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called ā€œAnimals Dyingā€ saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyoneā€™s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didnā€™t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise Ā£5,000 to restock the school library ā€” a place she loves to lounge in.

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remiā€™s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boyā€™s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi ā€œreverseā€ track backwards for about half a mile to locate the childā€™s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldnā€™t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? ā€œThe loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,ā€ Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If thereā€™s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says ā€œthank youā€ quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

@wackowinston/TikTok, used with permission

May we all find something that makes us as happy as this dog bed makes Winston.

Dogs of every breed tend to get excited over the littlest things, but Golden Retrievers are just a bit extra whether its with their favorite toys, snacks, or in this case, their beds.

One proud goldie named Winston is winning hearts online thanks to his adorable reaction to a dog bed upgrade. It's honestly understandableā€”the bed is more of a mini couch. Who wouldnā€™t be excited?

Winstonā€™s mom, Ashley Jance, not only manages to capture the wholesome moment, but provides the perfect narration.


"This is my old bed... and THIS is my new bed!" Jance says as, indeed, we see Winston jump on one bed then bound to the other as though he were a kid on Christmas showing off his new toys.

And, just like a kid, Winston doesnā€™t love the idea of sharing as indicated by his playful growls when Dad tries to sit on his new plush throne.

ā€œHeā€™s like, ā€˜get up!ā€™ā€ Jance says through giggles.

Down in the comments, viewers seemed to catch Winstonā€™s enthusiasm.

ā€œI love this for you Winston!ā€ one person exclaimed.

Another added, ā€œthat is the cutest thing Iā€™ve seen in a long time.ā€

@wackowinston

im very proud and excited

ā™¬ original sound - Winston The Golden

Of course, not all dogs might take to dog beds as happily as Winston did. A 2012 survey by the American Pet Products Association found that 62% of small dogs, 41% of medium-sized dogs, and 32% of large dogs sleep with their owners.

It's a trend not soon to break. In 2022, Psychology Today reported that 76% of American dog owners allows their dogs to sleep with them.

Still, even for pups who donā€™t take to their own bed immediately, there are certain steps to take to make their beds seem a bit more appealing. Mostly, it takes establishing routine and safety along with some patience as a pet owner.

Of course, if traditional training doesn't work, pet owners could just show their furry friends this video of Winston because boy is his energy contagious!

If you're interested in getting your own pup a bed like Winston's, they're available on Amazon.


This article originally appeared March.

Wellness

Star neuroscientist Andrew Huberman breaks down two simple exercises to improve vision

The eyes are muscles like any other and need both stimulation and relaxation.

Canva

Treat the eyes like a muscle. Give them exercise and relaxation.

We spend a lot of time looking at things up close, particularly our screens. For many of us, itā€™s the first thing we look at in the morning, the last thing we look at before going to sleep, and the thing we look at most during all those hours in between. According to a study commissioned by Vision Direct, the average American will spend 44 years looking at a screen. You read that right. Over. Four. Decades.

Really, itā€™s no wonder that eyesight has worsened. Experts have declared that myopia, aka nearsightedness, has grown to an epidemic level. In addition, we suffer more headaches and migraines, get poor sleep, and tend to feel more fatigued.

Luckily, there are a few things we can do to help, whether we boast 20/20 vision or are already constantly squinting.


Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, well known for his podcast ā€œHuberman Lab,ā€ breaks down all kinds of science-based life hacks for health, wellness, and fitness.

In addition to studying the brain, one of Hubermanā€™s main research topics is vision. In a video, Huberman shares two simple exercises that can dramatically help improve eyesight.

First and foremost, we need to allow our vision to relax.

You canā€™t do this just by looking up from your computer screen. Instead, Huberman suggests going to a window and looking out at a point in the distance. Ideally, you would open the window because windows filter out a lot of the blue light and sunlight that you want during the daytime. Better yet, go to a balcony, relax your eyes, and look out at the horizon. This allows the eyes to relax and go into panoramic vision, relieving stress and fatigue.

According to Huberman, you should be doing some kind of relaxation of the eyes, face, and jaw for every 30 minutes of focused workā€”which works out to at least every 90 minutes.

Second, stimulate the eyes by focusing on motion.

Smooth pursuit is our natural ability to track individual objects moving through space. You can train or improve your vision simply by stimulating this mechanism. To do this, Huberman suggests taking a few minutes each day or every three days to visually track a ball. Or, get outside and watch objects move around. Think swooping birds, falling leaves, etc. If you couldnā€™t tell, Huberman is a big proponent of going outside.

Bottom line: Our eyes are muscles. Just like our biceps, they need stimulation and relaxation, and while we might not be able to get this kind of nourishment from our tiny screens, nature provides.

This article originally appeared last year.

Joy

Woman with unfortunate initials warns parents to be more careful naming their kids

"When youā€™re deciding what to name your kids, look at what their initials are going to be."

Woman holding her nose looking in the refrigerator.

A lot of thought goes into choosing a babyā€™s name. Will other kids have the same name when they start kindergarten? Is the name too dull? Is the name too original? Will the name lead to bullying? Will the name look good on a job application? Could you run for president with this name?

Popular TikToker Emily Windham, 23, from Birmingham, Alabama, is adding another question that parents should ask themselves: What will their initials be? Windham has gone viral for her video in which she reveals how disheartening it is when she has to write her initials, especially when they appear multiple times on a document.

ā€œWhen youā€™re deciding what to name your kids, look at what their initials are going to be,ā€ she says at the beginning of her video. ā€œEvery time I have to initial a document, I have to write 'EW.' All these little initial lines just say EW EW EW EW.ā€ The situation is frustrating for Emily because her parents considered naming her Alexia, which would have been AW, which is sweet. ā€œThatā€™s so cute,ā€ she said.

@emwindham

Easy em in tha house šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„šŸ”„

The post inspired other people with unfortunate initials to comment; some of them are much harder to live with than EW.

ā€œYeaā€¦ mine is XL,ā€ Xitlali wrote.

ā€œMine is ā€˜BLTā€™ because it was my dadā€™s favorite sandwich. Mom didnā€™t notice until it was too late I donā€™t even like blts,ā€ Bryony Tally Art wrote.

ā€œMine is ā€˜PPā€™ elementary and middle school was a blast,ā€ Pais wrote.

ā€œI knew a girl in school whose name was Amy, and her initials were also AMY, and Iā€™ll never forget because thatā€™s so baller,ā€ Charlie wrote.

ā€œMy son's initials are BRB,ā€ Ashleigh wrote.

ā€œMy initials are EGG,ā€ El-Glory wrote.

ā€œMy initials spell EMO and I think thats awesome,ā€ Elle wrote.

ā€œMine is OGā€¦ now Iā€™m getting married and itā€™ll be OJ. Canā€™t decide if I like an original gangster or Orange Juice more,ā€ Olivia wrote.

ā€œMine is ME, and when I sign out on duties at work, someone goes, ā€˜Can someone please stop signing ME and sign your initials?ā€™ Iā€™m like, those are my initials,ā€ a TokToker named Madison wrote.

@thesam_show

sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!

Emilyā€™s story is similar to that of Samanta Hart, a woman who went viral on TikTok in 2023 because her name doesnā€™t exactly work well with modern email conventions. Clearly, her parents hadn't thought that her name would cause any trouble in the late '90s when email was a new thing. So, she made a video warning parents to think of their childrenā€™s future email addresses before selecting a name.

ā€œMy name is Samantha Hart,ā€ the 27-year-old said. ā€œMost companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be shart.ā€ A shart is an accidental release when one assumes they only have gas, which is not exactly how one wants to be known in professional circles.

ā€œAt every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,ā€ Hart said. Sadly, Hart will probably have to deal with this whenever she gets a new job. Hopefully, she enjoys doing long stretches with her employers.

Three children enjoying video games.

Since Pong first became a massive hit in the early ā€˜70s, parents have warned their kids that playing video games will rot their brains. How it not? Most gaming involves kids sitting alone in their homes, mashing buttons and a single game could go on for hours. Thereā€™s a good reason why parents should be concerned about the amount of time their kids spend staring at screens, but does gaming have an upside?

A 2022 report from the Karolinska Institute in Sweden has found that playing video games actually increases a childā€™s IQ. "Our results support the claim that screen time generally doesn't impair children's cognitive abilities, and that playing video games can actually help boost intelligence," neuroscientist Torkel Klingberg from the Karolinska Institute in Sweden said in 2022.

To reach this conclusion, the researchers looked at nearly 10,000 kids between the ages of 9 and 10 who, on average, spent 2.5 hours a day watching TV or online videos, 1 hour playing video games and 30 minutes socializing online with friends or family. Two years later, they compared data on 5,000 of these kids and found that those who spent more time than the norm playing video games had an IQ increase 2.5 points above the average rise.

The IQ point increase was based on their performance in tasks involving self-control, flexible thinking, memory, reading comprehension and visual-spatial processing.



ā€œWe didnā€™t examine the effects of screen behaviour on physical activity, sleep, well-being, or school performance, so we canā€™t say anything about that,ā€ says Torkel Klingberg, professor of cognitive neuroscience at the Department of Neuroscience, Karolinska Institutet.

The researchers also note that there was no increase in IQ points for those who watched more TV or spent more time on social media than the norm.

Are video games bad for kids?

Kids who run to share this story with their parents should be careful because IQ is just one factor affected by playing video games. "We didn't examine the effects of screen behavior on physical activity, sleep, well-being, or school performance, so we can't say anything about that," said Klingberg. "We'll now be studying the effects of other environmental factors and how the cognitive effects relate to childhood brain development."



The study is a shot in the arm for those who believe video games are good for kids and those who like to play them. However, we know that video games can cause serious problems if played excessively. Studies show that gaming is associated with obesity because when you sit in front of a screen all day, you donā€™t have much time for exercise. Excessive gaming has also been associated with depression, anxiety, aggression, sleep deprivation, insomnia and circadian rhythm disorders.

Video game addiction has also become a serious problem and may affect over 60 million people worldwide. Parents should be wary of signs of video game addiction in their children, which include a loss of interest in other hobbies, withdrawal symptoms when they're not gaming, and aggression.

As with anything, the key to getting maximum benefits from gaming is to make the activity part of a balanced lifestyle that includes plenty of physical activity, socializing with friends, lots of sleep, good nutrition and a fair amount of reading time. The Child Mind Institute says kids over 6 should spend at most 1 hour a day playing video games on school days and 2 on the weekends. Kids under 6 shouldn't exceed 30 minutes a day playing video games.

Photo representation by Fortune Vieyra on Unsplash | Jeffery Erhunse on Unsplash

A calm husband is winning praise for giving wife space when raising their children

Parenting is a 24/7 job. However, Kier Gaines, a licensed therapist, husband and father of two little girls, is encouraging parents to take time and space alone to preserve their mental health. In a new video he shared on TikTok titled "Saving Your Partner's Mental Health", Gaines demonstrates the importance of parents creating space at home for not just themselves, but more importantly their partners.

He shows how it can be done by setting boundaries with their children when it comes to being constantly available to them--supporting his wife to take rest rather than busying herself with house work while affirming to his children that giving mommy space is a positive thing.

@kiergaines

From Daddy, with Love šŸ–¤

"Give mommy some space, okay?" he says in the video as he is starting to cook in the kitchen. One of his daughters responds, "Okay. I just wanted to ask her a question."

In an understanding voice, he replies, "I know. Let's give her a little privacy. Let's give her a moment. You know how sometimes you go up in your room and you don't want to be bothered and we give you your space? I think everybody in the house needs that sometimes, what [do] you think?"

Gaines continues filming himself doing some kitchen organizing, pouring cereal boxes into storage containers before moving to the refrigerator to unload some drinks.

"Sydney, you wanna come help me?" he asks his daughter Sydney, before she replies, "No!" He quips, "True!"

man in long sleeve shirt standing beside girl in pink tank top washing hands Photo by CDC on Unsplash

Sydney then adds, "I am very busy right now!" Rather than get upset, Gaines sighs and says, "The fridge needs to be reorganized, but it ain't happening tonight! I'll tell you that."

His wife is heard off-camera chiming in, "I'll do it." But Gaines is having none of it. "Babe, rest your bones," he tells her. She replies, "Yeah, you're right," before Gaines adds in, "You've got enough going on," just..."motioning with his hands for her to step back and take a load off.

"You know I like to be busy," she responds, but Gaines reassures her that all is well as he continues to prepare a meal. "Yeah, you don't have to be busy when you don't have to. Go upstairs, get away from the kids."

The video ends on a funny note: as Gaines tries to open something with a knife, he drops it and it almost stabs his foot.

"Not today, Satan! Not today," he laughs.

Gaines' kind and gentle communication style sent his TikTok followers straight to the comment section to heap praise on him for being an amazing parent and spouse.

"The fact that you said, 'everybody needs space sometimes' instead of throwing mom under the bus with 'mommy needs time away or mommy needs a break' made my heart explode. What an awesome dad šŸ˜Š," one TikToker wrote. Another added, "Father is fathering, partner is partnering... that's how family life should be ā¤ļø."

Gaines was also commended for his soft tone. "The calm demeanor, the way you give explanations, ask questions, keep it kind. It made me cry. Dads donā€™t act like this as often as they should." And another declared, "the communication, the tone, and body language showing no anger, this is what every child deserves from their father and mother! i applaud you!ā¤ļø"

With nearly 28 million views on his video, Gaines deserves all the kudos.