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5 ways people with perpetually tidy homes think differently than the rest of us

For some people, these mindsets and habits are intuitive, but they can also be learned.

Photo credit: Canva

Tidy people have a different way of looking at things.

Confession: I am not a neat freak, but I've always aspired to be one. I love neat and tidy spaces and envy those who have a natural knack for keeping their homes perpetually guest-ready. Because I live in a normal-messy home, I appreciate it when people say "No one's house is tidy all the time!" but I also know it's not true. There are people with always-tidy houses. I personally know multiple people whose homes never, ever devolve into cluttered chaos, whose kitchen sinks are always free of dishes, whose tables are never cluttered with stuff and whose master bedrooms look like hotel rooms.

Knowing that it is possible, I've spent years observing my naturally neat friends and family to understand what gives them the seemingly superhuman ability to keep their homes clean 24/7. As one might assume, some of it comes down to a fastidiousness and rigid adherence to routines that some of us simply do not possess. Some of it has to do with how often people are home and how much their home actually gets used. However, those things aside, I've figured out handful of "secrets"—minor habits and mindsets—that we messier folks who yearn to be neater can glean from the naturally tidy.

Messy people think of 'cleaning up' as a separate task. Neat people see it as an inherent part of every activity.

Though it's largely unconscious, we all have ways of thinking through completing any activity, from first step to last step. Take eating, for example. For a naturally messier person, "eating" starts with preparing the food and ends with swallowing your last bite. Cleaning up is not an inherent part of the eating process—it's seen as something separate, an activity that has its own beginning and end, its own time frame, its own energy expenditure, etc.

dishes, cleaning, life hacks, how to clean, tidy, tidiness Cleaning up is part of the eating process for naturally neat folks.Photo credit: Canva

For a naturally neat person, however, eating means preparing the food, eating the food, and then cleaning up whatever mess you made. That's the whole cycle of eating. When you see cleaning up as part of the eating process, eating doesn't "end" until the dishes are finished and the kitchen is clean. Without cleaning up, the eating activity is simply incomplete.

For some people, this sound like a "duh" revelation. For some of us, it's a life-changing mindset shift.

Messy folks tend to overestimate how much time cleanup takes. Neat people don't.

Struggling to accurately estimate how much time a task will take is called "time blindness," and it's a common ADHD trait. But even those of us without ADHD can misjudge how long a task will take and form habits around our erroneous assumptions or perceptions.

For instance, I used to put off unloading the dishwasher because it seemed like a huge chore. All those dishes having to go to all those different cabinets—surely that was something that took a significant chunk of time to do. My brain had it labeled as a "big task" and therefore something I needed to carve out time for.

Then I timed myself doing it one day. Not rushing at all, just casually unloading a full dishwasher. It took less than 3 minutes, which was a fraction of the amount of time my brain had assigned to the task. Did I feel silly having subconsciously made a mountain out of a molehill? Yes. Did finding out it only took 3 minutes change how I viewed that chore and make it so I didn't procrastinate it anymore? Also yes.

washing dishes, cleaning, house cleaning, life hacks, tips Unloading the dishwasher takes less time than you might think.Photo credit: Canva

Neat people don't put off small cleaning/tidying tasks that they know only take a minute or two. Messy people can utilize timers to help them figure out what those are, because surprisingly, mosts tasks don't take as long as you think they will.

Messy people think of cleaning as all or nothing. Neat people utilize tiny time chunks for mini maintenance.

A messy person will pop something in the microwave for two minutes and then zone out or stare at it while it cooks. A neat person will pop something in the microwave and then use that two minutes to wipe down the counter, unload the dishwasher, or sweep the kitchen floor. They'll fold laundry while watching a show and go put it away during a commercial break. They utilize small snippets of time to do little cleaning tasks, which all add up to maintaining a neat and tidy space without having to take big chunks of time to organize or clean.

Messier folks tend to overlook little messes here and there, so they build up until suddenly there's an overwhelming mess to deal with. It helps to think of cleaning and tidying not as one big chore that is either done or not done, but rather as as a conglomeration of tiny tasks that can be done any time you have a minute or two. Eventually, using tiny time chunks to mini-clean becomes habitual.

Mess makers set things down. Neat people put things back.

"Clean up as you go" is a mantra to internalize if you aspire to have a perpetually neat home. If a neat person is baking, they will take out an ingredient, measure what they need, then put that ingredient back where they got it. They do this every time, so when the baked good gets put in the oven, all that's left to do is clean the dishes they used in prep (which is, of course, seen as an inherent part of the baking task). And this isn't just in the kitchen. They do the same thing with their toiletries in the bathroom, their clothes when choosing an outfit, etc. Everything gets put back rather than put down, preventing a mess from the get go.

cleaning, house cleaning, life hacks, tips, cleaning advice Neat people put things away instead of putting them down.Photo credit: Canva

If a messy person is baking, they'll take out an ingredient, measure what they need, and then set the ingredient down on the counter. Once the baked good gets put in the oven, there's then a whole counter full of ingredients and dish mess to clean up. And because "cleaning up" is seen as a separate task, there's a gearing up of energy that's required as well as a separate time commitment, which makes procrastination more likely.

The key here is to recognize that putting things back where you got them really doesn't take any more time than setting them down but saves tons of time and work later.

Messy people have more things than places. Neat people have more places than things.

"A place for everything and everything in its place" is a mantra that neat people live by religiously and messy folks may not even realize is possible. If a neat person doesn't have a place for something, they find one or make one by getting rid of something else. If a messy person doesn't have a place for something, it sits on a table or countertop or entryway or some other placeholder for an indeterminate amount of time, often moving from surface to surface before eventually being shoved in a drawer or closet to be dealt with later.

Part of living like a neat person is being honest with yourself about the space you have and embracing inflow and outflow of things that enables you to live comfortably in that space. Messy people almost always have too much stuff for their space and therefore not enough places to put things. (This is true no matter how large or small your home is, sorry to say.) Neat people keep things pared down so that everything can have its own place. Regular purging of excess stuff and not holding onto things "just in case" is a huge key to staying neat and tidy.

I can't say that I perfectly implement all of these things all the time, but I can say that being aware of these mindsets and habits and attempting to live more like my "neat freak" loved ones has made a big difference in my home and how I feel about living in it.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Why you should stop saying "I think" if you want to sound confident while speaking

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's what recommended instead.

Clear, effective communication is just as much about what you don’t say as it is about what you do say. It’s incredibly easy for a message to get watered down with filler words and passive phrases, many of which we use on a daily basis.

Case and point: “I think” statements. Sure, this seems like a harmless option. Logical even. After all, it’s honest. Certain factors have led you to think this or that is the right choice, and thus, you are saying so. But as CNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, overuse of these two well-intentioned words can “diminish your presence and undermine your confidence.”

In fact, Lee lumps “I think” in with “just,” “sorry” and “maybe,” which are more well-known examples of minimizing language, aka passive qualifiers that lessen the meaning of what you're trying to communicate, rather than enhance it. She notes that however "polite" these phrases seem, etiquette comes at the cost of credibility.

media4.giphy.com

Specifically, “I think” can make an opinion, however well informed, come across as nothing more than a passing thought, and therefore not taken seriously. Or it can make the speaker seem “hesitant” of their own perspective.

So instead, Lee recommends swapping “think” for “I recommend,” which conveys the same meaning but is more “action-oriented” and “decisive.” An example she uses is saying “I recommend trying this restaurant,” rather than “I think you should try this restaurant.“

Lee advises that this swap be used in times when you aren’t all that confident as well, with some added caveats for transparency. Using “from my experience, I’d recommend…” for example. It’s easy to see how you can be upfront about uncertainties, while still clearly communicating your stance.

Things get further conflated when you think about how many people use “I feel statements” when they mean to use “I think statements.” “I feel like this restaurant is better than the other one.” “I feel that you should go with this plan.” “I feel like this isn’t the most productive use of our time.” This is not only grammatically inaccurate, as these are opinions one thinks, not feels, but it also pacifies an already weakened version of what you’re trying to say in the first place.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

So, how do we really develop this better speaking habit? Lee recommends (see what we did there?) first listening for when and where those “I think” statements tend to pop up. You can even ask for the folks around you to help keep you accountable. She also suggests allowing for a pause before speaking, which gives you time to make the mental swap before saying anything out loud. And since most of us type exponentially more than we speak, be sure to make those swaps in written communications as well.

Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line; it’s easy for us to go on autopilot with our language. That, plus a desire to not come across as pushy or domineering, can cause us to not really say what we mean. But if we want to be understood, we need to be intentional with what we say, or don’t say.

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How much does your name affect your life? More than you might think.

A few things for parents to ponder when deciding what to name a child.

Photo credit: Canva

What we're named makes a difference.

"What's in a name?" Juliet famously asked Romeo, telling him a rose would smell just as sweet even if it were called something else. Is it really true, though? For Shakespeare's star-crossed lovers, names were a barrier, so of course they didn't want them to matter. But just as Romeo and Juliet's last names directly affected their love story, the names we are given and go by have an impact in our lives in ways we may scarcely be aware of.

Research from around the world shows that what people call us can influence what others think of us, and what personality traits we develop, and even what big life decisions we make for ourselves. That's not to say you can direct someone's life entirely by giving them a certain name, but there are some things prospective parents who are weighing baby name options might want to consider.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

Certain names come with certain stereotypes

Our names influence how people see us, for better or for worse.

I have no hard evidence, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that very few babies born in the 2020s will be named Karen, solely because of the get-me-the-manager stereotype that's been attached to the name. The name Chad may have met a similar fate for this generation of baby boys, but there will undoubtedly be other names that get taken down by popular culture.

Fair or not, certain names conjure up certain stereotypes. Psychologist Michael Varnum, PhD, shared some results from a 2018 study of 400 Americans that examined how certain names are perceived based on traits like warmth and competence. For example:

Elizabeth = seen as high in both warmth and competence

Misty = seen as low in both warmth and competence

Riley = seen as high in warmth, low in competence

Ruth = seen as low in warmth, high in competence

Names even come with physical stereotypes, and a 2017 study from Hebrew University of Jerusalem found that people can guess what a person's name is based solely on how they look with much more accuracy than mere chance.

how our names impact us Names affect how people perceive us.Photo credit: Canva

Our names might influence decisions we make

If your name is Dennis, are you more likely to be dentist than someone named Josh? If your name is Kelly, would you be more likely to donate Hurricane Katrina victims than someone named Molly?

Oddly enough, research basically says yes. In the aggregate, people tend to make decisions about their lives that align with the first letter of their name. Study results indicate that to move to states that resemble their names, choose careers that begin with the first letter of their name, choose brand names that share phonetic qualities with their own names, choose romantic partners that have similar last names, contribute to politicians with names that start with the same letter as their own name, etc.

Yes, one study even found that people whose names shared an initial with a hurricane name were more likely to donate to that hurricane's disaster relief efforts than others.

Again, these study findings are in aggregate, so we can't draw any individual conclusions based on any individual's name, but those findings indicate that names do make a difference.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Our names can reveal our cultural identities

If you see the names Jerry, Juan, Jakob, Jayvon, and Jahan, you likely picture a different ethnicity or race or cultural identity for each one. Names are cultural, there's no question about it, and that reality can mean different things in different contexts.

There's the famous research showing that resumes with "white-sounding" names were more likely to be called for interviews over resumes with non-white names, despite have the exact same qualifications. So our names being associated with cultural or racial identities can result in discrimination when people's prejudices, whether conscious or unconscious, get in the way.

But race and ethnicity aren't the only cultural elements our names can reveal. Whether you have a traditional name or a unique name can reveal information about your family culture, such as whether or not your family or your community are more or less individualistic. Research shows that more unique names are more common among regions of the U.S. that were more recently part of the frontier, and that countries that are more individualistic tend to have more uncommon names. So even if your name is something your parents conjured out of thin air, it may not be as hard as you might think to narrow down some cultural information about you based just on your unique name.

man holding up a name tag Does it really matter what your name is?Photo credit: Canva

It matters whether you like your name or not

One of the most interesting, though perhaps not surprising, findings in studies on names is that people who don't like their names tend to be less psychologically well-adjusted than those who like their names. Since our names are attached to our identities in a direct way, dissatisfaction with one's name would logically correlate with negative feelings about oneself and vice versa.

But it doesn't take an official study to know that going through life with a name you don't like would just stink. Thankfully, our names aren't written in stone. I've known several people who have changed their name in adulthood, deciding they were done being called a name that didn't suit them for whatever reason.

There's no way to predict what the next "Karen" will be or to know whether a child will actually like the name they're given or not, so parents must strike a balance between being thoughtful about naming a child and being overly anxious about getting it wrong. In the end, if a name turns out to be a poor choice, it can always be changed. Life's too short to fret over a name, and it's also too short to keep one you hate.

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11 old-timey frugal living habits younger generations need to bring back ASAP

"A penny saved is a penny earned" hits harder in economically uncertain times.

Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Learning to cook can save a lot over eating out.

Though people can't seem to agree on what makes the American economy "good" or "bad" (with people's perceptions being heavily influenced by who sits in the White House at any given time), there's no question that economic uncertainty is on many people's minds. Middle-agers who lived through the Great Recession of 2008 and the COVID-19 pandemic of the early 2020s know how fast economic stability can falter, and youngsters have started their adult lives with unaffordable housing and education as well as post-COVID inflation driving up the cost of everyday living.

With a major upheaval of the U.S. government unfolding in early 2025, uncertainty seems to be the theme of the day. When financial instability hits, it's time to take measures to mitigate it however we can, and thankfully, we can learn a thing or two from our elders who lived through the money struggles of two world wars and the Great Depression. Frugality was a way of life for our grandparents and great-grandparents, and though times have changed—a lot—many of those wise ways to save money still stand. And the good news is that many of them are good for the environment and our health as well as our wallet, so

Here are some of the easiest, best frugal living habits we can take from previous generations:

couple cooking together Cooking can be fun and a money saver. Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Cook from scratch

Even with the cost of groceries being higher than they were, it's almost always significantly cheaper to eat at home than it is to eat out. Learning to cook is a useful and enjoyable (for many) hobby that can also save you money, as long as you're not trying to cook something overly fancy. Cooking doesn't have to be complicated, and it's never been easier to find simple recipes. There are even sites that will come up with a menu and recipes for you based on what you already have in your pantry. Stock up on basic ingredients, keep it simple, and find some favorite meals that you can whip up quickly and easily.

Less meat, more beans

Meat is pricey—especially good quality meat—and with animal-borne diseases becoming more of a concern, animal products in general are getting more expensive. Perhaps now would be a good time to transition to more of a plant-based lifestyle, making more use of cheaper protein sources like beans. Canned beans are generally quite affordable, but dried beans are even cheaper if you don't mind taking the time to soak and cook them. If you have an Instant Pot, it's super easy to batch cook dry beans, which you can then store cooked in the freezer for quick reheating.

stainless steel bowls of spices Bulk spices are often a fraction of the price of jarred. Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Buy herbs and spices in bulk

Spices in jars are stupidly expensive sometimes, and you might assume that's just what they cost. But if you've never shopped in the bulk spice section at a store—even at an expensive health food store—you might be surprised by how much cheaper it is. Leafy herbs like oregano, thyme, basil, and sage weigh almost nothing, so even if they cost $20/lb, a jar's worth is often pennies to the dollar cheaper than buying them already packaged. (Just beware heavier spices, as sometimes those can be just as expensive as jarred. Definitely worth comparing, though.)

Borrow and barter

When times are tough, getting by becomes a community effort, but there's no reason we have to wait for an actual economic depression to help one another out or scratch one another's backs. We all have things that sit around not being used much of the time that others might like to borrow, from tools to books. Trading services can be an excellent way to save money in a win-win way.

hands in a garden Growing your own food can save a bunch in the long run. Photo by Sandie Clarke on Unsplash

Grow a garden

During the pandemic, many people started growing WWII-style "victory gardens" simply because they could, but gardening can be a great way to save on produce and herbs. If you can start early in the spring and grow from seed, even better. Though learning to keep a garden thriving can be a little trickier than it looks, the savings can be impressive. For instance, one tomato plant can harvest 10 to 20 pounds of tomatoes, so even if you spend $5 on a starter plant, you can save a ton compared to produce section prices at the store. No yard? Gardening in containers works, too.

Clean with vinegar and baking soda

It may seem like a small thing, but lots of small things like cleaning products add up. Buying vinegar in bulk and diluting it 50/50 with water makes a great basic cleaner, and baking soda in bulk can help you scour surfaces as well. Vinegar smell doesn't last long, but you can always add a little essential oil to the mix to add some scent. You might need a stronger disinfectant for certain cleaning jobs, but for a basic cleanser, vinegar gets the job done.

Reuse or reutilize containers

So many foods we buy come in jars or containers, most which get tossed or recycled. Then we go out and buy containers for storing leftovers or other things. Aesthetically, I get it. But practically and financially, reusing or reutilizing containers makes more sense, even if you just use them once or twice and then toss or recycle. Plus, if you reuse jars or containers you're not planning to keep, you can write on them with a Sharpie without feeling like you ruined it.

woman riding white bike Bike more. Photo by Murillo de Paula on Unsplash

Drive less

Americans love to drive and many of us do it far more often than we need to, spending more on gas than necessary. And even though gas prices have come down most places, it still isn't cheap. Combining trips or making a once a week "errand day" can help us cut down on driving. So can carpooling or biking or walking more.

Buy used

Thrift store shopping can save a ton of money, especially if you shop around to various thrift shops to find the ones that actually have good stuff at low prices. Clothes especially can be a much better deal used than new, and no one will ever know the difference. Furniture is also a fraction of the cost used vs. new, and often older furniture is better quality anyway. Check Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist and other online markets for used items before running to the store or buying something new online.

person wearing black and gray jacket in front of bookshelf Libraries usually have a lot more to offer than just books. Photo by matthew Feeney on Unsplash

Utilize your public library

Public libraries are treasure troves of free stuff, and not enough people take full advantage of them. Not only can you get books, but many libraries have huge collections of movies or other entertainment. Some have art collections you can check out, others have tools and household items you can borrow. There are also free book clubs, lectures, classes and other activities that can add to your social calendar without spending anything.

Make do with what you have

This might sound like a no-brainer, but many of us have gotten into the habit of buying whatever we think we need simply because it's convenient. Amazon has created some habitual buying habits that we might want to rethink if we're trying to save money. Do you really need a new jacket or is the one you have still perfectly usable? Is there still some life left in that pair of shoes? Even holding off on buying things for a month or two and making do with what you have can help you save money and see that you don't need as much as you might think.

Lots of small savings can add up, so don't assume that a few cents or a dollar here and there don't matter. Once you get into these habits, you may even find that frugal living to be a preferred way of life, regardless of your financial situation. It certainly can't hurt to try it.

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A former QAnon believer answers all your questions about how the cult really works

How they lure people in and how he got himself out.

Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

Several years ago, you wouldn't have known what QAnon was unless you spent a lot of time reading through comments on Twitter or frequented internet chat rooms. Now, with prominent Q adherents making headlines for storming the U.S. Capitol and elements of the QAnon worldview spilling into mainstream politics, the conspiracy theory/doomsday cult has become a household topic of conversation.

Many of us have watched helplessly as friends and family members fall down the rabbit hole, spewing strange ideas about Democrats and celebrities being pedophiles who torture children while Donald Trump leads a behind-the-scenes roundup of these evil Deep State actors. Perfectly intelligent people can be susceptible to conspiracy theories, no matter how insane, which makes it all the more frustrating.

A person who was a true believer in QAnon mythology (which you can read more about here) recently participated in an "Ask Me Anything" thread on Reddit, and what they shared about their experiences was eye-opening. The writer's Reddit handle is "diceblue," but for simplicity's sake we'll call them "DB."

A group of people belonging to a Qanon splinter group stand in a line Qanon splinter group | Marc Nozell | Flickrwww.flickr.com

DB explained that they weren't new to conspiracy theories when QAnon came on the scene. "I had been DEEP into conspiracy for about 8 years," they wrote. "Had very recently been down the ufo paranormal rabbit hole so when Q really took off midterm for trump I 'did my research' and fell right into it."

DB says they were a true believer until a couple of years ago when they had an experience that snapped them out of it:

"It was a couple of posts made by Q on the chans that seemed highly suspicious because of how ignorant they were of technology. Q posts often had weird syntax as a kind of code

- Kind Of [writing like this] as if there was [a secret] in using brackets To Tell The Truth.

One morning Q claimed to have shut down 7 FBI super computers (named after the seven dwarves no less) via satellite hacking and all the rabid fans ate it up, claiming that "their internet was running a little bit faster)

FBI Super Computer ::SLEEPY::[[OFFLINE]]

alarm bells went off in my head because, come on, that's not how any of this works. Using elementary school syntax form To SpeLl a [[Secret Code ]] felt fishy, and claiming your email in rural Montana loaded faster because seven super computers got shut down by remote hacking was a bridge too far for me. I realized that most of the Q believers I had seen were Boomers with no idea how technology works or people my age with no idea how computers operate. That day, I Googled Q Anon Debunked and got out."

Episode 1 Mind Blown GIF by The OfficeGiphy

If simply Googling "QAnon Debunked" were enough to get QAnoners to deprogram themselves, why don't more of them do it? That's the tricky part. DB explains several elements to Q belief that keeps people in it. A big part of what primed DB to accept conspiracy thinking was a fundamentalist Christian upbringing.

"Theories about evil evolution, science denial and The End of The world rapture return of Christ stuff is all pretty crazy too," wrote DB, who moved to a more progressive version of Christianity after leaving QAnon behind. "There's a strong link between the two."

There's also some "perverse comfort" in conspiracy theories like QAnon, DB wrote, "because of the false sense of order and purpose it brings to the world. Either the world is a boardgame chess match between Good and Evil forces working behind the scenes, and you might be a pawn but at least you are on The Right Side or you admit that the world is a mess, nobody is in charge, there is no grand battle of good and evil behind the scenes and your life has less purpose and order than you hoped."

They also said overconfidence and arrogance play a big role in people staying in the QAnon world, as well as the belief that you are the one engaging in critical thinking while everyone else is a mindless sheep.

"At this point the problem isn't Q, it's gullible people who lack critical thinking skills and gain a massive ego boost in thinking they have secret in that the sheeple don't know," DB wrote.

"Worth noting, conspiracy thinking hooks the brain because it feels like critical thinking. Even though it isn't."

That piece right there really is key.

Turn The Page GIF by U.S. National ArchivesGiphy

As another user explained, the "do your own research" concept works to reinforce conspiracy theories while making people think they're coming to conclusions on their own, thanks to the way search engines and social media algorithms work:

"The idea behind the 'research' is that you are more likely to believe a source if YOU stumble upon it yourself vs if I tell you -go watch this video.

So if I tell you Hillary is a lizard person, watch this video ... It's easy to watch and dismiss me as a crazy that saw a dumb video. BUT ... if I tell you Hillary is a lizard person, but don't take my word for it - google it yourself.... and you come across hundreds of videos and articles about Hillary being a lizard person - that makes it all the more believable. Especially since there's so many articles saying Hillary is NOT a lizard person. If it wasn't true, why would people be making videos and articles 'debunking' it?

And the debunk articles are appearing higher in searches than the articles saying she is. Why is that? Is big tech in on it to ....and you see where this is going.

So their 'research' is just a way of manipulating people."

DB shared that it was hard to admit that they'd been played by a baseless conspiracy theory. "It's NOT easy realizing you've been conned, been a rube, been taken in," they wrote. "It was massively humbling to realize I'd been a sucker."

However, they are also surprised to see how much "crazier" QAnon has gotten, as when they left a couple of years ago they were "certain it would all be over soon." They weren't a "storm the Capitol" kind of believer, but rather a "snicker quietly to myself in my bedroom because those sheeple don't know the truth" type.

DB explained that they keep themselves away from the edge of the rabbit hole now by embracing doubt and different ideas and have added "some fucking worldview humility" to their life.

"The problem with fundamentalist religions, cults, and conspiracy theories is they all demonize doubt and are all so absolutely certain that they have the total truth of reality figured out. I hold my beliefs much more humbly now, I acknowledge that I could be wrong," they wrote.

"I read more widely and expose myself to the ideas of others, so that I don't end up in an echo chamber."

As for how to help others get out? DB said that arguing with a QAnon adherent, especially online, is a waste of time—and their simple explanation for why makes perfect sense:

"I don't think they can be reasoned out of beliefs they were not reasoned into."

There's no way to rationalize with irrational beliefs, unfortunately. DB suggests if you have loved ones who've fallen down the rabbit hole that you maybe try asking them questions using Street Epistemology techniques (which you can read about here), avoid confronting and trying to reason with them (because it's simply not effective), and continue loving them (while setting boundaries about what you're willing to listen to) so they have a stable place to land if and when they are able to extricate themselves.

You can read the entire Reddit thread of Q and A here.

As frustrating as it is to see people we know fall for kooky conspiracy theories, seeing that it's possible for someone to get out offers a ray of hope that they aren't necessarily gone for good.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Film shown to high schoolers in 1948 exposes the tactics of propaganda still relevant today

"What are 'glittering generalities?'"

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Propaganda exposed in 1948 film shown to highs schoolers

Propaganda is a word we often hear thrown around when someone says something we don't agree with. It doesn't matter if what's being said is factually true or not. The word has been so overused that people may not recognize actual propaganda when they see it. Americans aren't well versed in recognizing propaganda outside of the brief disclaimer that other countries used propaganda during wartime.

There's not much of a deep dive on the topic in schools but at one point in history, it was completely normal for high schoolers to be taught how to spot propaganda. In the 40s, juniors and seniors in high school were required to learn about how propaganda mixes language and images to persuade people to believe one thing over another even if it wasn't true. The goal for propaganda was to get people emotionally invested in whatever was being pushed so they'd be more likely to trust what they were hearing.

America was so invested in teaching about the pitfalls of propaganda that they put together a video explaining different ways to recognize it. This was designed to come in handy for the deluge of information coming out about WWII at the time and eventually the Cold War. People needed to be able to critically pick apart what they were reading, seeing and hearing so they could best decipher the truth.

Oak Ridge High School Library | Free Photo - rawpixelwww.rawpixel.com

While America is not currently at war, learning to decipher propaganda is still relevant today, especially given how quickly information moves nowadays. In the 1948 film sold to high schools across the country, an older man shares with a high school boy ways to identify propaganda by first listing some of the techniques.

The techniques of propaganda listed are glittering generalities, transfer, name-calling, card-stacking, testimonial, plain folks, and bandwagon. They then go through each technique to breakdown what they look like in practice. Many of the techniques listed may be easily identifiable in modern American politics and advertisements.

grayscale photography of children sitting inside room Photo by Austrian National Library on Unsplash

Examples given for glittering generalities are "good government" and "real American" used in different campaigns. But the faux politician asks the boy what is "good government" and is it the same as what the mayor considers to be "good government." This gets the young man's wheels turning. In his example for card-stacking he plays a recording where the mayoral candidate blames a water issue on the current mayor.

"That's what we call card-stacking. Cooper was mayor when the pumping station broke down but it was the man in office before him who allowed it to get into such a rundown condition and it finally gave way before he could get anything done," the man explains.

File:Oliver twist.gif - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

The boy then clarifies the information he is hearing, "and card-stacking is choosing some facts and leaving out others and arranging them to suit your purpose."

Once the teen understands some of the basic propaganda techniques, he and the man take another look at a campaign film they've previously watched, allowing the boy a chance to identify the types of propaganda techniques used.

"You'll find that the purpose of most propaganda is to persuade people to believe something, to do something or to buy something," the man says before later adding, "whenever you're tracking down propaganda, get as many different points of view as you can."

Gathering as much factual information as you can from multiple different points of view and different sources is important for any sort of research, but it's especially important when the goal is to sell you something or win your vote. Showing a film like this one in high school may be helpful in ensuring people continue to be able to recognize the persuasive techniques used in political and marketing ads to encourage critical thinking and informed decision-making.

"I think I understand," the boy says. "To know whether propaganda is good or not, whether it's true or not, I should know the purpose, recognize the technique, get the facts and judge the purpose and technique by the facts."

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This 'creepy' guy wouldn't stop staring at her at the gym. She knew exactly what to do next.

"He shut up real quick."

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Heidi staring back at her harasser on TikTok.

When lifting weights at the gym, the discomfort you feel should be coming from the workout. Not from other people with no concept of boundaries. However, this is an all-too-common occurrence for women.

Personal trainer Heidi Aragon (@fit_with_heidi) is used to sharing her fitness journey on social media. Her video, which has now garnered more than 8 million views on TikTok, didn't go viral because of the workout. Instead, people are responding to how she confronted a man who not only wouldn't stop staring at her, but denied the fact that he was. Until Heidi beat him at his own game.

Heidi explains in the text video "This creepy old guy at the gym kept coming over and staring at me." Sure enough, the video shows a man in a green shirt, eyes undeniably fixated on Heidi. Uncomfortable, Heidi tries to get her husband to stand between her and the man, hopefully laying down a not-so-subtle cue to back off. But subtlety is clearly not this guy's language.

So what does Heidi do? She stares back. The strategy seemed to work, at least for a while, but eventually Heidi had to go over and confront the guy directly.

Her video text read: "I told him if he's going to work out in this corner he needed to stop staring and making me uncomfortable. His response was, 'I'm just looking around.' I then told him I record my workouts and I have him on film. He shut up real quick."

@fit_with_heidi Don’t sit there and tell me you’re not doing something when I have proof. 😡 #gymtok #fittok #influencer #viral #trending #tiktok #fitness #gym #gymgirl #fyp #fypシ #foryou #foryoupage #gymcreeps ♬ Real As It Gets - Lil Baby

I know what you're thinking: "Wait, didn't we just hear a story about this?" Why yes, you're right. Our very own Tod Perry covered another woman who had to deal with a guy at the gym who couldn't take a hint.

Yes, almost back-to-back stories of women who have had enough from fellow male gym-goers. And still, there is victim blaming. In the video's comment section, one user wrote, "Wear pants like that and expected something different??" How many videos have to go viral before we stop blaming a woman's choice of clothing (which were really quite normal gym attire, by the way) for a man's obviously intrusive behavior?

Others also seemed to assess that because Heidi was a fitness influencer, she more or less signed up for this kind of attention, invited or not. Which completely negates this woman having any choice in the matter. However, Heidi did post a tongue-in-cheek follow-up video thanking those who posted negative comments, as it gave her more followers and likes. So I guess there's some small victory.

Though we may never have a consensus on proper gym etiquette, a good rule of thumb is keep to yourself. Getting the gumption to go workout is hard enough; don't make staying there a hardship as well.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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