Anne Hathaway brilliantly tackles the 'language of hatred' in powerful new speech
“In my opinion, the language of hatred begins with the self.”

"Don't hate your mouth. Love your life."
Anne Hathaway is certainly no stranger to being on the receiving end of viral vitriol. She had an entire chapter of it in her career beginning in 2013, notably called the “Hathahate” era. For years, following an unfairly infamous Oscars acceptance speech for her work in “Les Miserables,” the actress couldn’t endure a single interview without having to address the overwhelming amount of people actively, viciously disliking her.
While Hathaway herself admitted that the speech was overly saccharine—an understandable result of trying to compensate for social anxiety and a dash of imposter syndrome—it still in no way qualified being publicly viewed as some sort of indelible sin. Especially considering all the truly terrible behavior that (still) happens at awards shows.
Why people chose to villainize Hathaway is really its own conversation, but how she chose to grow from the experience is truly worth talking about. She not only has clearly been able to recover from a career standpoint—this year alone she has risen to festival darling and “Devil Wears Prada” worthy fashion icon status—she’s also managed to form some bona fide words of wisdom that just might help others create a less hateful, more loving world … spoken by someone who’s actually been through the ringer and had to learn the hard way.According to a transcribed acceptance speech for ELLE’s 29th Annual Women in Hollywood event, the veteran actress, after generously praising other female icons in attendance, took a moment to share a story about a little girl, “age 8 to 11,” who she overheard lamenting to her mother about another (presumably) little girl, who “hated her own mouth.”
“In my opinion, the language of hatred begins with the self,” Hathaway said. “I felt it was important to bring this concept up because … I really felt for that young, young little girl experiencing the first flush of self-hatred, which is something I’m sure a lot of us understand. And we don’t have enough time to discuss all the myriad causes of the violent language of hatred, and the imperative need to end it.”
Hathaway then addressed how her own self-loathing manifested and magnified itself when reflected back through social media nearly 10 years ago.
“I was given an opportunity to look at the language of hatred from a new perspective. For context—this was a language I had employed with myself since I was 7. And when your self-inflicted pain is suddenly somehow amplified back at you at, say, the full volume of the internet … It’s a thing,” she explained.
“As the mother of young children,” she continued, “I am of the firm belief that we are born experiencing love. And then we form, in a culture of misplaced hate, unhealed hurt, and the toxicity that is the byproduct of both.”
When the effects of an unhealed society reared its ugly head in Hathaway's direction, she realized that the only way to dissolve its potency would be to “no longer hold space for it, live in fear of it, nor speak its language for any reason. To anyone. Including myself.”
And that really is a simple, yet profound truth. If we wish to live in a kinder world, we must first make space within our own hearts for kindness. Speaking to ourselves and others from a place of compassion in theory takes very little effort. And yet, in practice it requires a conscious choice.
She went on to note, “There is a difference between existence and behavior. You can judge behavior. You can forgive behavior or not. But you do not have the right to judge—and especially not hate—someone for existing. And if you do, you’re not where it’s at.” Again, this is something she has learned firsthand.
Hathaway ended with self-described “debatable optimism,” saying that “I believe the good news about hate being learned is that whoever learned it can unlearn. There is a brain there. I hope they give themselves a chance to relearn love.”
“To that little girl—to all young people, actually,” the speech concluded, “I wish I could tell you the world is in a good place … that you will live untouched by inequality, bias, hate, and autocracy. We’re gonna need you … we need people who have learned to reject the hate prevalent in all facets of our society by contributing to a culture of love, starting with themselves.
“Please, darling, don’t hate your mouth. Love your life.”
You can watch a shortened version Hathaway’s speech below. Unlike in 2013, this is a must-watch for all the right reasons.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."
This article originally appeared in May.