ring camera

Being a parent is not an easy job, especially when it comes to discipline. But an Oregon couple with four kids, Katie and Dustin (@raisingmaletich) is going viral for sharing a video of a vulnerable parenting moment they had with their son.

In the video, their young son can be heard telling his mom Katie to "chill" after being told he can't use her phone. The comment is heard by his stepdad, Dustin. Immediately, Dustin makes it known that it is okay. Dustin asks his young stepson if he did in fact tell his mom to "chill". And when he replies 'yes', Dustin asks him to start doing pushups (and to "count 'em"). After doing 10, he says Dustin, "How many? I can't do anymore." Dustin replies, "Keep going." He hits 14 reps, and Dustin encourages him to do 2 more, telling him that he can do it.

Once he hit 16 reps, Dustin tells him to stand up to do a series of squats. After he finishes up his squats, Dustin asks him, "Do we tell our mom to chill out?" Their son replies, "No," and Dustin adds, "Absolutely not. I will not let you talk to her like that. I wouldn't let anyone else talk to her like that, so you don't get to talk to her like that, okay?"

After this, Dustin opens his arms to hug him, and their son walks towards Katie as he says, "Sorry, mom." Katie says, "Thank you, buddy." And Dusting tells him, "Hey. I love you," before he goes to him for another hug and a kiss on the head.

"I will never stop being grateful to be raising kids with a real man who knows how to be a father, especially to his boys. This is masculinity," they wrote in the video's caption, with more detail about what led to the scenario. "I was trying to send a work email while making breakfast for my family and my son kept asking me to use my phone after I had repeatedly told him 'no, you need to wait.' His dad overheard him tell me to 'chill' and here is how he handled it."

The video went viral, with many viewers showing support for how both Dustin and Katie handled the situation. "That’s a great dad right there. Calm, collected and knows how to do a punishment and still show compassion to his child," one commented. Another supportive viewer pointed out, "my favorite part is watching his sister rest her head on Daddy even while he’s mid-discipline! yes it is funny sibling behavior, but more than anything it speaks to Dad’s character. this is a home where everyone feels safe, and because of that, because there’s no yelling, hitting, cursing, etc, all the children can now benefit and learn by witnessing this. TERRIFIC parenting!!!"

Others praised Katie for not interjecting. "My favorite part is the the mom letting the dad BE A DAD," one wrote.

One viewer was curious if the couple would use the same style of discipline with their daughters, asking, "What’s the equivalent discipline for girls? Same thing?" And they responded, "Pretty much the same :) sometimes our girls require a bit of extra verbal communication and some extra extra tenderness 💛."

However, many viewers criticized the couple's handling of discipline with exercise. One viewer commented, "Yes, but don’t use exercise and forms of self improvement as punishments." Another added, "I love the words, but he’s at risk of teaching his kid that exercise is punishment and something you HAVE to do when you’ve done something wrong. That said, it’s a perfect example of why boys need a good male role model in their lives too." And another commented, "He doesn’t need to be humiliated… a conversation would solve the problem. He’s not in the army… I’d hate if my husband did that to my boy."

To address concerns and elaborate further about why they are okay with using physical exercise to discipline, the couple created a follow-up video.

In the video, Dustin says that he addressed his stepson's behavior in a "stern and immediate way", before addressing how they believed the pushups and squats would not later make their son associate physical exercise with punishment. "We both don’t really like the term 'punishment' and much prefer to describe any parental corrections as a disciplinary consequence. We aren’t perfect at it but our main goal in parenting is to always be intentional and not reactionary," they wrote in the video's caption.

The couple was asked if they had permission from their son to share the video with their followers. "we absolutely talked with him about it before we shared it and made sure he was completely okay with it," they wrote in the comments. "He was, in fact he was really excited to share it. Asks me every day how many views it has now haha. We have ring security cameras inside our house and that’s how the footage was captured :)."

Viewers expressed their thoughts once again. "You also hugged him and told him you loved him! GREAT JOB DAD👏👏👏👏👏," while another wrote, "Physical exercise gives him a chance to collect himself and burn off energy. Always a good move 💪."

Other had contradicting views. "I would keep the punishment shorter like 5 push ups and go… you want him to get the message… that’s it…" Another shared, "It's not even that you did had him do push ups, it's that he said he couldn't do anymore, and you told him to continue. My son truly enjoys working out because I've never used it as a form of punishment for him. How about you f*cking talk to your kid."

Katie also shared another follow-up video about criticism she received for not stepping in during her husband's discipling.

Katie says in the video, "Why wouldn't I let him step in and be the authority figure that I need him to be in order to raise strong, confident, good kids? I could not imagine not respecting him enough to not let him step in and be 'dad' in the way that he feels he needs to be."

And viewers shared their thoughts in the video's comment section. "It’s apparent that you guys act as a team and not as competitors 👏," one wrote, while another added, "It’s not necessarily the Mom 'letting' him step in. I admire you for not taking over but I have much respect for him stepping up and taking that role. Most men look the other way and force Mom to be the disciplinarian. I love that you two parent together and not against each other. ❤️"

Other viewers disagreed. "Shame on you. You both have taught him to be fearful of the dad and that's all that's been taught," one wrote. And another also added, "That’s a very immature comment. U could have achieved the same result of 'respect' with out fear and intimidation. Do better!"