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privilege

This article originally appeared on 01.20.16


Privilege can be a hard thing to talk about.

Oftentimes, when it's implied or stated that someone is "privileged," they can feel defensive or upset. They may have worked very hard for what they have accomplished and they may have overcome many obstacles to accomplish it. And the word "privilege" can make a person feel as though that work is being diminished.

The key point about privilege, though, is that it doesn't mean that a person was raised by wealthy parents, had everything handed to them, and didn't have to do much other than show up.


Privilege means that some of us have advantages over others for any number of reasons we don't control — like who we are, where we come from, the color of our skin, or certain things that have happened in our lives.

Even when things haven't come easy for some people, they can still have privileges that others don't have.

Illustrator Toby Morris did some thinking about the concept of inequality and privilege, and he found one major problem.

He did a lot of research to learn about it, but as he started to really understand privilege, he found that a lot of the information about privilege felt very academic and technical. He felt it was important to "talk about this heavy stuff in a really simple and clear way," Morris explained to me in an email interview.

That's what led him to create and illustrate this incredible comic on privilege for the The Wireless.

He did an amazing job. Check it out:

This comic is property of The Wireless, where it originally appeared. It's shared here with permission.

This is a great way to explain privilege to someone who's having a hard time understanding — or someone who doesn't want to recognize it.

"Comics are very human and accessible — they're non-threatening and quite inviting to a reader," Morris said. "It's a lot less daunting than picking up a giant book or trying to decipher a really long or really dense article."

True story.

Make no mistake: Morris isn't taking away from hard work in his comic.

"I'm not trying to say I'm against that idea that if we work hard, we succeed," he said. "I would like to think that is true, for the most part, but I just think people often forget or don't realise that our starting points, or our paths to success, aren't all even. Some people have to overcome more obstacles in the path to succeeding than others."

He was also quick to point out that this isn't about anyone needing to feel bad or guilty for the privileges that they have, but rather it's about honesty and understanding — because maybe that's what could lead us to a better place.

"Acknowledging the issue is one step towards addressing it hopefully," he said.

Ultimately, success — or lack thereof — can be about hard work and other factors, some of which are beyond our control.

A lot of people have been able to relate to this comic — both sides of it — and have reached out to Morris to share.

"Personally, I've grown up somewhere in the middle," he said. Because his dad was in the army, Morris moved around a lot as a kid. "I experienced a lot of different neighbourhoods and schools and friendship groups — some well off, some not so much — and that experience lead me to this belief that ultimately people are all pretty similar wherever you go, we just don't all have the same chances in life."

Remember James Damore, the (now former) Google employee who created a firestorm for that controversial memo he sent to colleagues?

Well, he's up a creek again.

In early August, Damore was fired after a sexist memo he wrote — in which he falsely claimed biological differences between the genders were a reason why fewer women work in tech — leaked to the press.

Damore has since defended (and even doubled down) on his debunked assertions. And now, that's led him into yet another self-inflicted controversy.



In an interview with Business Insider, Damore suggested being a conservative employee at Google is like "being gay in the 1950s."

After being asked about how he'd respond to women at Google who were offended by his remarks, Damore segued into the allegedly oppressive work environments keeping conservatives quiet in Silicon Valley:


"Really, it’s like being gay in the 1950s. These conservatives have to stay in the closet and have to mask who they really are. And that’s a huge problem because there’s open discrimination against anyone who comes out of [the] closet as a conservative."

The internet wasn't having it.

After the interview published, Twitter users piled on, pointing out how asinine Damore's remarks truly were.

Damore was fired for sending out a sexist memo — not for being conservative — which sort of nulled his point from the get-go.

It's absurd for someone like Damore to try and play the victim card in the first place, though.

Because it's difficult to be part of the largest political ideology base in the U.S. and also claim you're oppressed.

You can't get fired simply for being conservative, after all. You still can be fired, however, for being LGBTQ.

Decades-old research, one user highlighted, found large majorities of LGBTQ people reported being harassed or assaulted because of who they were.

You don't need hard data to understand what LGBTQ people went through, though. The tales are horrifying enough.  

Damore probably should have done his research before making a claim like that.

When words failed, images said it all.

Le sigh.

GIFs, too, seemed like an appropriate response.

A very appropriate response.

Damore's clueless comparison shows the dangers in forgetting history — or failing to learn it in the first place.

In 1950 — long before gay marriage or same-sex adoption laws were even up for debate — homosexuality was still considered a sociopathic personality disturbance by the American Psychiatric Association. In 1953, President Dwight Eisenhower signed an executive order banning LGBTQ people from working for the federal government because they were perceived as a security threat.

It wasn't until 16 years later that the Stonewall Inn riots — considered the launch of the modern day LGBTQ rights movement — erupted after years of harassment and abuse of queer New Yorkers at the hands of city police.

You really believe the challenges you face as a conservative are comparable to what closeted LGBTQ people dealt with 60 years ago?

A couple years ago, I had a conversation with some of my guy friends that I’ll never forget.

We were talking about whether there’s such a thing as "a good rape joke" (answer: no), and I mentioned that women tend to have “rape anxiety” in public. They didn't understand the concept, so I explained:

Sometimes, if we’re walking down a dark alley alone, we worry that we might get raped. That anxiety can even happen in more low-risk situations, like if we’re walking to work in broad daylight or even when someone rolls down the window of their car to shout something about our bodies.


My dude friends looked at me like I had just convincingly explained to them that the Earth was flat.

A protestor at a Take Back the Night rally in London. Photo by Charlotte Barnes/Wikimedia Commons.

They had no idea that I experienced this fundamental truth of my existence every day.

They had no idea this feeling was shared, to some degree, with most women (and other marginalized people who are threatened in public spaces). It had never even occurred to my favorite men that many of the people they interact with live with this form of apprehension all the time.

A few weeks later, after our conversation, my friend Eric told me a story.

He said he was walking down the street at night, about 15 feet behind a young woman. At one point, she glanced back at him — and he recalled our conversation. So he started walking slower and decided to take a different route home, in case he was unintentionally making her nervous.

I gave him a hug and felt lucky to have men in my life that take sexual harassment and gendered violence seriously. But even well-intentioned guys may be unaware of how their position of power creates intimidating situations.

To the dudes I love, the dudes who walk me home at night and care about me very much, here’s what your female friend wants you to know when she's talking about harassment and violence:

Photo via iStock.

1. I need you to listen to me.

Resist your impulse to "not-all-men" your way out of the conversation. If I'm talking to you about this issue, it's because I trust you and I think it's an important discussion to have.

Please understand that my experiences may change your worldview a little bit — and that yours might change mine. If both of us approach the conversation with the assumption that we have something to learn, chances are we will.

2. I need you to be aware of how your behavior could unintentionally make the women (and femme and queer people) around you uncomfortable.

Maybe you're trying to chat up a woman at the bar who doesn't seem interested and you're just not taking a hint. Maybe a step in the right direction is realizing that the woman who's glancing back at you while you walk down the street is trying to assess if you're a threat.

When you're more in tune with the harassment that women experience every day simply by existing in the world, the next step is to notice if and how you play a role in those situations. Lots of times your threat is harmless, of course. But it never hurts to think critically about how you treat women, especially those you don't know, in public.

3. I need you to use your privilege as a shield.

Guys, it's exhausting to have to do all of this work ourselves. We really want your help.

The perpetrators of gendered microaggressions, sexual harassment, and sexual violence aren't strangers — they're the men in your classes, your workplace, your gym. So if you see something, please say something.

If a coworker makes an inappropriate comment to you about another coworker's body, please tell them it's not OK.

If you see a dude harassing a female friend at a party or a bar, please tactfully interject yourself into the situation to give her an out.

And, for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE teach your sons, brothers, and friends to do the same.

It may be uncomfortable to start talking about sexual violence and harassment, but it's so, so necessary for all of us.

Those conversations could make a real difference in whether people like me feel safe and comfortable in the world.

That matters.

I will never be as confident about anything as many mediocre white men seem to be about everything.

I'm a capable, talented woman of color. I'm pretty sure of myself and my ability, but I've got my limits. Some people just ... don't.

And, sadly, many of those people, who lack self-awareness or good friends who question their intentions, decide the best use of their time, resources, and position of privilege is to run for office.


Jeb Bush (center) and Chris Christie chat at a Republican debate. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

Because who's better to speak for the many diverse and rapidly-changing communities that make up this great country than a straight white man?

Answer: Pretty much anybody.

That's why 20-something political operatives and white men Jack Teter and Kyle Huelsman launched the Can You Not PAC.

Their mission is simple: ask, persuade, and/or disempower people with privilege (specifically straight white men) from running for public office in progressive urban areas. And with the help of an advisory board, the group plans to endorse a slate of women, people of color, and LGBTQ candidates instead.

"It is our job to bring down the confidence level of mediocre straight white men to their corresponding level of competence," the duo told Upworthy. "We are in a crisis of under-qualified, over-confident candidates."

Photo by Mark Lyons/Getty Images.

They're not making this up.

In a recent study out of American University, men are nearly 60% more likely than women to evaluate themselves as "very qualified" to run for elected office. Among the men who assessed themselves as "not qualified," 55% of them have still considered the idea of running for office despite their qualifications (or lack thereof).

The whole thing began as a joke, but now it has taken off. After starting at the state level, with a Colorado Political Committee, the founders are thinking about expansion.

"After receiving contributions from coast to coast, we realized there was a whole country of people who are tired of electing Ken Doll lookalikes," they said.

Martin O'Malley, everybody! Photo by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images.

And no, this is not a case of self-loathing. It's political science.

Jack and Kyle are firm believers in progressive politics, and the data doesn't lie. A 2012 study from Emory University revealed African-Americans elected to the state legislature are more likely than other Democrats with similar constituencies to introduce measures that combat racial discrimination and improve access to health care.

Similarly, women in state legislatures are more likely to introduce legislation about reproductive health, bills dealing with children, women's health, and welfare.

So for people interested in progressive change, supporting women and people of color just makes sense.

But some would argue that if this all about dismantling ego and checking privilege, should two white dudes be leading the way?

Asking straight white men to take a seat is far from a new idea. People of color, women, and LGBTQ individuals have been raising this mantle since time eternal. There are organizations like Emily's List, Equality PAC, and the Latino Victory Project that encourage women, LGBTQ people, and people of color to pursue public office.



But Can You Not is the first one to actively encourage straight white men to sit out. That difference is especially noteworthy.

"I really, really firmly believe that it’s the absolute obligation of people in positions of privilege to dismantle oppressive power structures," Jack said. That goes for men calling B.S. on sexism, white people checking their privilege, and cisgender people speaking out against hateful legislation like North Carolina's recent "bathroom bill," HB2.


U.S. Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth speaks at the Emily's List 30th Anniversary Gala. Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images for EMILY's List.

As one might assume, the Can You Not PAC is not without critics.

"We’ve been getting push back from two places: white supremacists who want to kill us, and young progressive white dudes who maybe want to run some day," Kyle said.

The former is difficult to reason with, but getting the latter on board is crucial and has already lead to some enlightening conversations.

Photo by iStock.

"People get defensive, as they should — anyone who wants to run for office better be ready to explain to people why they’re the best representative of their community," he added.

And hey, idealist, progressive white guys: Can You Not is not suggesting you abandon your political dreams altogether. As Jack said,

"We’re saying that aspirational young white guys who want to be in politics because they love the 'West Wing' should use their passion and their time and their talent to make politics look less like them — because it’s good government, because it’s good progressive policy, and because it’s the right thing to do to fight hundreds of years of egregious overrepresentation of straight white men to the disservice of marginalized communities all over the country. Sometimes the best thing you can do is step aside so other people can lead."

We've been a country for nearly 240 years, and straight white guys have been a majority of the decisionmakers (for better or worse) for the entire time.

No matter where you fall politically, adding new and diverse voices is vital to sustaining thoughtful dialogue and best representing this country's rapidly changing demographics. There's no better time than right this minute for traditionally underrepresented voices to stand up and drive the nation forward, with or without groups like Can You Not.

"In short: Women, LGBT folks, and people of color don’t need straight white men to save them or to speak for them in politics," Jack said. "They need them to get the hell out of the way."


Photo by WOCInTech Chat/Flickr (cropped).