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cat distribution system

He got way more than he bargained for.

We've all heard of the "cat distribution system," which refers to the idea that cats seemingly "choose" their owners by appearing in people's lives at the right time, as if by some preordained fate. You'll find social media, which already favors cat-related content, awash with stories of folks who were magically bestowed with a feline friend…especially during kitten season, when there's an abundance of teeny tiny fur babies searching for a home.

That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana—times 13. This is a story of the cat distribution system on steroids.

Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.

In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. That's twelve more than he planned on caring for, but he and his family took their roles as cat rescuers seriously. Which is much needed, considering humane societies and shelters are even more over-capacity in need of support from foster families during litter seasons, which starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer.

In a follow-up video, Brantley's wife donned the cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio, in hopes that a purrfectly adorable picture would entice potential owners. One kitten could even be seen sporting a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. Who could resist?

Since making his epic rescue, it looks like all the cats have been rescued, minus one, which they've named Scout. But Brantley is still very much a "kitten wrangler" according to his Instagram. As well as the occasional monkey wrangler, it seems?

May more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. Although, with kittens under 8 weeks old, it is advised to actually leave them be, if found outdoors, as it's likely their mother (who is their best caregiver) is likely nearby. In these circumstances, it's best to wait several hours, or even a full day, to see if the mother returns. She could only be temporarily gone while searching for food, or even waiting for the humans to amscray. One helpful tip from Alleycat.org: sprinkle flour near the kittens’ nest. If the mother cat returns, she will leave paw prints.

Of course, there are times when newborn kittens will in fact need to be taken in and looked after, during which they'll need "round-the-clock care to survive," according to Alleycat.org. If you find yourself in this situation, contact your local shelter to see if they participate in a Wait Until 8 program, which provides tools and instructions, like kitten care kits, to ensure a kitten’s caregiver has everything they need.

The cat distribution system might seems magical (and it is!), but it still requires real effort from us humans.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

Pop Culture

Matt Damon shared the wildest story about his rescued 'jungle cat' from Costa Rica

"At no point in this story did I have any idea what would happen next," one viewer wrote.

@colbertlateshow/TikTok, Canva

The cat distribution system reaches even the depth of the jungle.

The cat distribution system always works. Even for celebrities. Just ask Matt Damon.

While appearing on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” the “Jason Bourne” actor shared the wildest story about a stray cat he had adopted 10 years ago during a month-long stay at an Airbnb in Costa Rica.

After hearing him describe this next level kitty, you’ll understand why he describes him as “the coolest cat you’ve ever seen.”


“He was living by himself in the jungle…He was hunting. He had two giant holes in his side. He was fighting for his life every night,” Damon began.

Damon and his family fed this tough jungle kitty every night, and by the time came for them to head home, they decided to take their new furry friend with them.

"We decided we gotta take the cat, he's gonna die, now he's relying on us,” Daman joked with Colbert.

Once Damon got the cat home, he figured it would prefer staying out in their backyard. Nope.

"He never went outside, ever again."

Now, this is where the story takes a slightly darker turn. Eventually the cat developed a brain tumor. However, Damon became determined to not “let a brain tumor take this cat out.” After all, this is the toughest jungle cat!

Eventually the Damon family and Jungle Cat moved to New York City. And by this time, the cat had lost a lot of weight and was only walking around in circles (a common symptom of cat brain tumors).

Hoping to find a cure, Damon took his feline friend to a cat neurologist named Chad (which cracks Damon up to share), and Dr. Chad at first tells him to prepare his children and teach them that part of a pet owner’s responsibility is giving them the “dignity” of a humane death when quality of life is too far compromised.

But just when things seem at their worst, this story does a 180 into hilarity.

@colbertlateshow Matt Damon shares an incredible story about the cat he adopted from Costa Rica. #Colbert ♬ original sound - colbertlateshow

“Chad said, ‘I could load him up on steroids. And I go, ‘What do you mean?’ He goes, ‘I mean, I could give him like a BUNCH of steroids.’”

At this point, Damon, Colbert and the audience are all laughing.

Damon apparently asked “are there long term issues?” to juicing his cat, which got an emphatic “YEAH! Massive long term issues with that but we can just see what happens,” from Dr. Chad.

This was apparently two-and-a-half years ago. And not only is Jungle Cat still around, but “jacked like Arnold Schwarzenegger,” Damon joked.

Down in the comments, viewers were begging to see photos of Jacked Jungle Cat.

"MATT WE GOTTA SEE THE CAT!!!" one person demanded.

"WHERE CAN I DEMAND A PICTURE OF ARNOLD SWAGGERCAT?" echoed another.

Others were just enamored by Damon’s storytelling skills.

"Matt Damon always delivers the funniest stories," one person wrote, while another said that he “needed a podcast.”

And perhaps the best comment goes to the person who said, "At no point in this story did I have any idea what would happen next."

While Dr. Chad might have seemed a little out there in his methods, it’s fairly common for pet oncologists to try incorporating steroids like Prednisolone to treat the inflammation associated with brain tumors. However, that’s normally low doses, not using a bunch and seeing what happens. But hey, it seemed to work! And Damon got a really great story out of it. Not to mention more time with a pretty awesome jungle cat.

Joy

Family's outdoor cat jumps into action to save their dog from a coyote attack

Binx jumped right in to protect her sister from two coyotes.

Family's cat saves her dog sister from wild coyotes.

People like to think cats are aloof and don't care about anyone but themselves, but that's not true. Well, the aloof part is true. They're also pretty fickle about if they want to be touched or not, giving unsuspecting cat parents a quick swat for daring to think they want to be petted. Even still, that doesn't mean they don't love their family members, human and furry.

A family in Oklahoma found out just how much their outdoor cat loved their dog, Oakley. When the little white pooch was outside to go potty, she didn't realize danger was just out of eyesight until it was too late. A group of coyotes began attacking the little dog, who was in that part of the yard all alone, but Binx, the family cat, sprung into action without hesitation after hearing the commotion.

Binx is part of the cat distribution system, meaning the family didn't pick her out. The little black cat just showed up in their yard when she was about two months old, and it's a good thing she did.


When Binx heard her fur-sister being attacked, she ran full force and jumped right toward the faces of the attacking coyotes, sending them running. Oakley was injured pretty badly in the attack, but the owners had no idea what happened until they looked at the security video after the dog was treated at the vet.

"It was inspiring to see our little outdoor cat just jump at two coyotes that were attacking this little dog that she loves and run them off," Lane Dyer told KFOR News.

Pets

Man's foster cat is obsessed with him and it's turned into an amusingly toxic living situation

The cat demands all of the attention no matter what the human is doing.

Obsessed foster cat creates amusingly toxic living situation

Do you remember that song, Somebody's Watching Me from the 80s? Well, this new foster dad is probably feeling just like the guy singing the song, except about a cat that has taken to stalking and harassing him around the house. Bill found himself a sudden cat dad when his friend became sick and unable to take care of her cat, Teddy.

While Teddy behaved like a normal cat in new surroundings, (hiding under the bed and making himself scarce), it didn't take long before he started getting comfortable around Bill. Knowing that he was likely missing his mom and needed attention, the new foster dad gave Teddy all the chin scratches and love he could. It was beautiful...until the cat decided the attention he was getting was insufficient.

Now, instead of a finicky roommate, Bill had a stalker. Teddy follows the human wherever he is in the house to demand attention in pretty rude ways.


"He became obsessed with me. I gave him tons of attention, I played with him all the time but it was just never enough. He always wanted more," Bill tells The Dodo. "Anytime I would turn my attention to something other than him, he would scratch at me until I turned my attention back."

There were not just sweet gentle pawings, Teddy essentially hit and slaps Bill, grabbing pieces of his clothing as he tries to walk by and biting at him. But there's something there between the two and it's looking a lot like a love story in the making. Maybe one that ends in a kitty restraining order but Teddy's playful attacks have Bill a bit smitten.

Watch their love story unfold below: