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cat distribution system

Joy

Cat decided a delivery driver was her new dad by clinging to his leg and refusing to let go

This is the Cat Distribution System at work, and it shall not be questioned.

A cat picks her new owner in the most unmistakable way.

If you've never heard of the Cat Distribution System, then you probably don't own a cat, or you do, but you acquired your cat in a normal, non-weird way. You know, like at an animal shelter or from some nice lady on social media who had a box of kittens. Some people do get cats that way, and it's one thousand percent a valid way to attain cat parent status.

But some lucky folks get cats through the Cat Distribution System (or CDS for short). Is this system real? The only people who know this are cats. They're also the ones that run the system, so the rules and the way in which you attain your purr machine may be a bit wonky. You may wake up with an unknown cat in your bed even though all of your windows are closed, or you just may be like this delivery driver.

The driver was out picking up orders when a cat came out of the CDS and jumped on the man's leg as he attempted to get back to his car. Thanks to his dash cam, you get to see CDS at work, and so did his mom. The video currently has over 2.8 million views on TikTok.


When the driver asked his mom if he could keep the cat, at first she said no. Then she saw the footage of the cat aggressively and desperately choosing her son to be its new cat dad—and that's how you get a cat through the CDS. Once the cat realized she made the right choice, she snuggled up on her dad's lap as he drove her home.

"We are not cat people," reads the text overlay. "My youngest son was out making deliveries last night. A cat kept following him. Then jumped on his leg and would not let go."

I have news for you, Mom, you're cat people now. It's how the Cat Distribution System works. They train their recruits to turn non-cat people into cat people, one unsuspecting human at a time. If you don't make it to the end of the video, yes, they kept the cat and her name is Venus. That's how the system is designed.

Watch the CDS at work below:

@dretontheborder

#catrescue #catrescueroftiktok I am not a #catperson but maybe now I will be after today. I #Love my #son has a #huge #compassionate #heart #momsoftiktok #rescate #gato

This article originally appeared on 4.12.23

Pets

Man's foster cat is obsessed with him and it's turned into an amusingly toxic living situation

The cat demands all of the attention no matter what the human is doing.

Obsessed foster cat creates amusingly toxic living situation

Do you remember that song, Somebody's Watching Me from the 80s? Well, this new foster dad is probably feeling just like the guy singing the song, except about a cat that has taken to stalking and harassing him around the house. Bill found himself a sudden cat dad when his friend became sick and unable to take care of her cat, Teddy.

While Teddy behaved like a normal cat in new surroundings, (hiding under the bed and making himself scarce), it didn't take long before he started getting comfortable around Bill. Knowing that he was likely missing his mom and needed attention, the new foster dad gave Teddy all the chin scratches and love he could. It was beautiful...until the cat decided the attention he was getting was insufficient.

Now, instead of a finicky roommate, Bill had a stalker. Teddy follows the human wherever he is in the house to demand attention in pretty rude ways.


"He became obsessed with me. I gave him tons of attention, I played with him all the time but it was just never enough. He always wanted more," Bill tells The Dodo. "Anytime I would turn my attention to something other than him, he would scratch at me until I turned my attention back."

There were not just sweet gentle pawings, Teddy essentially hit and slaps Bill, grabbing pieces of his clothing as he tries to walk by and biting at him. But there's something there between the two and it's looking a lot like a love story in the making. Maybe one that ends in a kitty restraining order but Teddy's playful attacks have Bill a bit smitten.

Watch their love story unfold below:

Man finds adorable best friend after never having a pet

Not everyone gets to grow up with pets so they don't get the first hand knowledge of how it feels to love an animal. Sure, they may have experience with friends' or family members' pets but that's not the same as caring for one under your own roof. The memories and mini serotonin boosts you get when pets snuggle up to you on a hard day are missed by those who never own a pet.

Up until recently, Caleb had been in the "never had a pet" camp, then one day he found a tiny little kitten. He knew when he saw how little and helpless she was that he just had to rescue the sweet baby.

"I was walking home and I looked down and there was this little kitten," Caleb told The Dodo. "I feel chosen, this is my first pet."

He named the itty bitty kitty, Nala Jaye and takes her everywhere he possibly can.


Caleb put Nala on a leash to take her out on walks but when he wants to keep her close, the new cat dad wears a little cat pouch. Just a sling of sorts to keep the kitten tucked away as he takes her with him to run errands. The pair do everything together, she even supervises him brushing his teeth. It's clear the duo are quickly becoming best friends, Caleb sings to her, they dance together and she hangs out on his shoulder like a parrot.

"This is a house cat. We will not be outside unless she's on my shoulder like this or strapped to a harness," Caleb says.

So glad to see a new pet parent blossom. Nala Jaye is one lucky rescue kitty.

Guy walks through the quick escalation of deciding to get a cat

When you adopt a cat or more likely, a cat adopts you, something strange happens. You develop this tiny little voice that tells you things only cat owners understand. "You need another cat." Does this voice actually exist? Well, you can't rule anything out because cats have a funny way of worming into your heart and dictating things without ever actually speaking.

They tell you when its time for dinner, when you need to open the door and even when you forgot to scoop their litter boxes. Cats are stealthy little bosses that have highly underpaid human assistants. But for some reason people love cats and listen to the little voice that tells them that one just isn't enough.

One guy with the username Kylokilalayuumi documented his journey to four cats in an adorably cute 20 second video uploaded to TikTok that currently has more than 4 million views.


The video starts with a tiny stripped kitten looking out the car window as the man drives it home before immediately heading into the next clip of a back cat playing. To be completely fair, the tabby cat probably talked him into it using the most effective method available to kittens, excessive playing with the inability to control their claws. Having one kitten is usually just the bridge to adopting another to keep it occupied and from clawing its way to the top of your head.

"Ok, I'm just going to get one, alright, it's just one alright, how bad could one be? It's not that expensive, it's not...well, I have to get it a friend, right? I mean who's he going to talk to? He's going to get bored," The man says in the voice over. "And you know what if they get sick of each other, you know, they need a third guy and honestly, I have three. I might as well get the whole set."

Other cat lovers knew the cat system very well and commented on the video letting the man know.

“You can’t have an odd number of cats, it’s the law," one person said.

"It’s like chips, you can’t have just one," another wrote.

"Yeahhhh this is how I ended up with 7 cats in a 2 month span," someone else revealed.

Clearly, owning one cat makes you extremely susceptible to owning a glaring of them, which the name is fitting because if you've ever met a cat you know they have the glare down to a science.

Watch the quick escalation below:

@kylokilalayuumi

the story of how i ended up with 4 cats #fyp #fypシ #foryou #catsoftiktok #cutecat #cats #catvideos #kittensoftiktok #ragdollkitten #ragdoll #voidcat #scottishfold #scottishfoldcat #kitten