+
Sign up for
The Upworthiest
Our top stories of the day delivered straight to your inbox.
upworthy

aita

Family

Wife has the perfect response when husband introduces her to coworkers as 'The Housewife'

She began by laughing hysterically.

via Artur Voznenko/Unsplash

An anry wife shares her thoughts with her husband.

A husband invited some new coworkers over for dinner and instead of properly introducing his wife, he made a sexist joke that she felt was belittling. The wife, who goes by the name Sadie on Reddit, shared the story on the AITA forum to ask if she responded correctly.

Spoiler alert: Yes, she did.

“My husband invited his new coworkers over for dinner. When they arrived, he introduced me by gesturing at me and saying, ‘This is Mrs. Smith (he didn't even say my name)...the housewife!'" Sadie revealed.

“I looked at him for a second, then I started laughing hysterically,” Sadie continued. “I then told said, ‘No, honey, I work full time, and YES I still act like a housewife when I'm home because you simply can't bother to help.’” After Sadie’s remark, the guests stared at the husband, who tried to laugh it off and then changed the subject by asking them if they wanted a drink.

The rest of the dinner was awkward, with the husband and wife exchanging angry glances. After the guests left, the husband blew up at Sadie, saying that she laughed like a “lunatic” and that she ruined “his image.”

“I told him he was wrong to lie about my status and deny my degree, to begin with,” Sadie continued. He said I could've talked to him about it privately later but not like this, and making his coworkers think he's useless.” Sadie asked the online forum if she was out of line, and they responded with a collective no.

People overwhelmingly supported the wife, raising an issue far beyond the fact that her husband was seriously inconsiderate. It’s a big red flag in a relationship when one spouse diminishes or belittles the other in public or private.

“Men who diminish their partners to look better at the office are gross. He only seemed to care about his embarrassment and not yours. I'd be mortified if my husband used a lie that robbed me of my success and accomplishments to prop himself up," Geranium27 wrote.

“It's a red flag for the relationship. He doesn't want a partner who is an equal. He wants a dependent woman who he can provide for completely so he can feel like a man," RedWanderingLizard added.

Some also noted that it was wrong of him to disparage homemakers.

"He diminished (being a housewife is not a ‘low’ role, but he meant it that way) you in public, you corrected him. In public. As he deserved,” LetThemEatHay wrote.

The viral post received over 24,000 comments, highlighting the idea that belittling your partner is a serious sign of a dysfunctional relationship that should not be ignored.

According to Psychology Today, backhanded compliments, digs and subtle put-downs are attempts by one partner to make the other feel small and themselves feel big. “Although cleverly disguised as a joke or a compliment, these comments may qualify as ‘toxic’ if they sting, cause confusion, and replay in a person’s mind for days, disrupting their peace,” Erin Leonard, Ph.D. writes.

Ultimately, commenters overwhelmingly agreed that Sadie was right not to let her husband's belittling compliment go unnoticed. By sharing it online, she opened up a meaningful discussion about appropriate humor in relationships. Studies show that it’s healthy for partners to joke around with one another, but when the comments are thinly veiled put-downs and backhanded compliments, it’s no laughing matter.

From Your Site Articles
marriage
popular

Dad feels intense conflict about telling daughter's boyfriend she's a diagnosed sociopath

Does he have the right to know?

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A father contemplates what he's going to do about his daughter.

A father with a challenging problem took to social media to anonymously hear other opinions on a bold position he had to take in his family.

“I’m the dad of a 25-year-old young woman who I love very much,” the father wrote on the Reddit AITA forum. “I’ve been able to have a good relationship with my daughter, and I enjoy my time with her, but there’s one thing about her that would give many people pause—she is a diagnosed sociopath."

People who are sociopaths have been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). According to WebMD, “Those with ASPD have no regard for others’ rights or feelings, lack empathy and remorse for wrongdoings, and have the need to exploit and manipulate others for personal gain.”

It is challenging for people with ASPD to get help because they often don’t believe their behavior is a problem. However, those who do can learn that their behaviors are harmful and receive tools to improve their relationships.

However, being in a close relationship with someone diagnosed with ASPD can be a very challenging situation.

The father realized his daughter had sociopathic tendencies at a young age and was given therapy and support. “With an enormous amount of therapy & support, her bad behavior was minimized as she grew older. She received an ASPD diagnosis at 18, and I had suspected it for long prior,” he wrote.

reddit, aspd, sociopaths

A couple on their wedding day.

via Moose Photos

Even though the daughter struggles with her social life, she has had no problem with men.

“She is very, very charming and adept at attracting guys and maintaining their interest,” he continued. “She uses that old dating guide ‘The Rules’ like a Bible. She currently has a boyfriend of about a year and a half who’s crazy about her, and who I have a very strong relationship with (we live in the same area and spend time together regularly). He is a great guy, very kind, funny and intelligent.”

The boyfriend intends to propose soon, and the father fears the worst could happen to him. “While she enjoys being around her boyfriend and is sexually attracted to him, I highly doubt she feels much of anything towards him love-wise,” the father wrote.

Further, the daughter has no intention of telling the boyfriend about her diagnosis for fear that it would scare him away. But the dad doesn’t believe that it’s right for the relationship to continue without telling him the truth.

“I’ve made it clear to her that she needs to tell him the truth before they marry, that he has the right to know and consider it, or I will, to which she always responds, ‘I know you wouldn’t dare,’” the father admits. “I actually would—I really like and respect this young man and would feel awful keeping this 'secret' from him and letting him walk into a marriage without this piece of knowledge.”

So, the father asked the Reddit forum if he was right to tell the boyfriend about his daughter’s diagnosis. “I’m not trying to sabotage my daughter’s future. Maybe her boyfriend’s love of her personality and other aspects is enough that it won’t end the relationship. It’s his decision to make, but he deserves all the facts,” he wrote.

Almost all of the commenters sympathized with the father and agreed that it was best to tell the boyfriend before they were engaged.

aspd, sociopaths, reddit

A mother and her newborn child.

via Goda Morgan/Pexels

“If this guy wants kids, it’s really going to suck to find out he is co-parenting with a sociopath. Also, is ASPD genetic? If so, he definitely deserves to know,” Decemberandjuly wrote. “I’d really want to know that info before marrying,” PodcornJelly added. “That, of course, doesn’t mean you’re not at fault for ‘outing’ your daughter, but IMO, it’s for the greater good.”

However, one commenter noted that the father should stay out of it because the relationship is probably very helpful for the daughter. “I say this as someone who is qualified to make these types of diagnoses and provide appropriate treatment. She has a history of problematic behavior, but it sounds like she is well-functioning enough as an adult,” iglooboo wrote. “Maybe she loves in different ways to others, but that doesn’t exclude her from having positive relationships. In fact, it is this sense of safety in a relationship that will help her keep learning these skills.”

Upworthy contacted the father to learn the rest of the story but is still awaiting his response.

From Your Site Articles
mental illness
Joy

Rich guy gets a great lesson after complaining that 'poor kids' trick-or-treat on his block

A lesson in the true spirit of Halloween.

via Charles Parker/Pexels

Two kids going trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Christmas and Chanukah may be known as holidays that are part of the season of giving, but let’s not forget that one of the greatest joys of Halloween is handing out candy to neighborhood children.

Well, a guy on Reddit could be the perfect candidate for the Scrooge of Halloween because he has a real problem with children from disadvantaged neighborhoods trick-or-treating in his “affluent” suburb.

Seriously, who gets mad about kids trick-or-treating on Halloween?

The aggrieved man shared his story on the AITA page, asking if he was in the wrong for being hostile towards the trick-or-treaters that come to his neighborhood every year.

“For the past few years, the neighbors and I have seen a growing amount of people come to our neighborhood for Halloween. This has caused a lot of people to ‘turn off’ for Halloween, which you'd think would get the crowd to lessen but it keeps growing,” he wrote.

“I was openly annoyed with this leading up to Halloween, and my girlfriend would condemn it every time I brought it up because ‘Halloween's all about sharing,’ saying it shouldn't matter whether the kids are from the neighborhood or not,” he continued.

halloween, trick or treat, costumes

Kids trick-or-treating.

via Yuting Gao/Pexels

The girlfriend also noted that kids who come to their neighborhood may be unable to trick-or-treat where they live because it’s too dangerous. “Not surprisingly, this year at both entrances to the neighborhood, cars line the streets.. some with out-of-state plates (I live in a suburb of a city which is just over the state line.),” he continued.

When asked if he was wrong for “getting annoyed with parents who truck carloads full of kids to a neighborhood they don't live,” the commenters overwhelmingly agreed he was. The most popular comment was simple and devastating. "Yep, and sorry about your privilege," one commenter wrote.

Another popular commenter went to great lengths to describe why he was wrong.

“You are not required to hand out candy. You are not required to hand out more candy than you are willing to buy. If you don't feel like participating or when you are out of candy, you can hang a sign and turn off your porch light and go on with your night,” Spectrum2081 wrote.

halloween, trick-or-treat, costimers

Kids go trick-or-treating on HAlloween.

via Yaroslav Shuraev/Pexels

“However, when you start picking which kids are worthy of your Halloween treats, you are indeed an a**hole,” they continued. “Imagine being a kid, dressing up, knocking on a door on Halloween and saying, trick-or-treat to someone visibly annoyed by your presence. Imagine it is because of something like the color of your skin or because you are overweight. That would feel pretty bad. Now imagine it's because you are too poor.”

Another person noted that it’s much more difficult to trick-or-treat in an urban setting.

"Most of these families likely live in neighborhoods that are predominantly apartment buildings and businesses with few single family dwellings. This means that the ratio of homes handing out candy vs buildings in general is low. Secondly, these kids are not less deserving of the candy from your neighborhood than children who have parents in a higher income bracket. The fact that you seem to think they are hints at a bias that you probably haven’t examined too closely but probably should," SleepUntilTomorrow wrote.

However, a few people thought he could be right.

"I know this is the unpopular opinion," Glatog wrote. "But when it is just a handful of kids extra it isn't a big deal, and I'm sure you'd have no problem. But there is a neighborhood here that gets thousands of extra kids. That's a little absurd. Not all of those kids live in apartments or bad neighborhoods. The sense of entitlement is wrong."

It’s a little unnerving to think there are people of means who scoff at giving candy to kids from underprivileged neighborhoods. But it’s encouraging to see everyone step up and say that giving is a big part of the Halloween season, and it’s not a child’s fault if they live in a neighborhood where they can’t trick-or-treat.

The great thing about holidays is that, when celebrated correctly, they are a wonderful way to bring people together. The spirit of Halloween may be a celebration of spookiness, but at its heart, it’s the joy of seeing kids proudly filling their pillowcases with candy and toys given to them by people they hardly know. Adults should love that wonderful glint of mischief a child gets in their eyes while being out on a spooky night regardless of their parents’ tax bracket.

From Your Site Articles
halloween
Joy

After doubting the paternity of her best friend's son, woman begs her to get a DNA test

She couldn't live without knowing the truth.

via Karolina Grabowska/Pexels and Thravis3D/Unsplash

A woman is torn between a friendship and the truth.

Sometimes, the quest for the truth can push people to make extreme choices, especially when not knowing the answer eats away at them daily. Such is the story of Reddit user FooFooBunnyLa, who was so concerned over the identity of her best friend’s child that she forced her to get a paternity test.

Her best friend had a son with a man she claimed was a one-night stand, so she raised him alone. As the child grew older, FooFooBunnyLa started to get suspicious.

“The issue is this: this kid looks EXTREMELY like my husband like to an insane degree,” FooFooBunnyLA wrote on the Reddit AITA subforum. “The hair color, eyes, face, everything. He’s even been out with my friend and her son, and people have mistaken him to be the dad before. Needless to say, for three years now, I’ve had my suspicions, but I haven’t said anything. My husband is also close to my friend, and the timeline works out. We were all living almost in the same neighborhood around the time she got pregnant.”

Over the years, the resemblance began to gnaw away at the woman, and her friend wouldn't show her a picture of the child’s biological father, no matter how much she asked.

distressed woman, sad woman, depressed woman

A distressed woman sits in a chair.

via Liza Summer/Pexels

The situation was suspicious. The child looked a lot about her husband, and her friend wasn’t forthcoming with any evidence to prove otherwise. To put the issue to bed, the friend took the DNA test. The results would have enormous ramifications for everyone involved.

“Long story short, my friend got a paternity test but said our friendship is over,” FooFooBunnyLA wrote. “The test says my husband isn’t the father. I feel so ashamed to lose my friend, but I thought my husband would slightly understand since even he sees the obvious resemblance between him and this kid. But he has moved out for the time being, and I’m worried this is the end of our marriage.”

The woman asked the online forum if she did the right thing.

“I honestly felt like I had no other choice,” she confided. “The resemblance was unavoidable and it was eating at me so much that no amount of therapy could help. I thought my husband would understand my fears most of all given my history with past cheating exes.”

depressed woman, paternity tests, woman in chair

A depressed woman sits in a chair.

via Liza Summer/Pexels

The woman received over 1400 responses, and nearly everyone agreed that she was wrong in the situation.

“Wait so you thought your supposedly cheating husband would just casually comment on his love-child like ‘oh gee honey doesn’t he look just like me’ to his already paranoid wife?” Toyworker, the most popular commenter, wrote. “Why the f*** would he do that if he was actually guilty? Why the f*** would either of them indulge you if they actually cheated?”

However, one commenter noted that if the woman successfully caught them with the test, people’s opinions of her would differ significantly.

If the results had come back positive, I think it would be mostly … praise for trusting her instincts,” DCPhoto78 wrote.

Ultimately, asking for the test ruined both relationships regardless of the outcome. Her friend and husband were sickened by the accusation, which created a point of no return for their relationship with her. Even if she were correct, the lying and the infidelity would have also caused severe and irreparable damage to the woman’s relationship with her friend and husband as well.

If FooFoo BunnyLa had to do it all over again, would she ask for the test?

From Your Site Articles
dna tests
Trending Stories