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aita

'We do not negotiate with tantrumists.'

Flying can test anyone’s patience, but Reddit user Safe_Ad_9314, may take the cake for having all their buttons pushed. They shared how a recent flight turned into a surprising lesson in setting boundaries, explaining that they had reserved a window seat—an intentional choice aimed at making their journey just a bit more enjoyable. But as soon as they settled in, a family boarded and a conflict began brewing.

After several attempts to calm her, the father turned to the man and asked if they’d give up their seat for the child, adding, “She’s just a kid.” The OP gently stood his ground, explaining that the window seat was not a random perk, but something they had deliberately arranged—and even paid extra for.

The family’s six-year-old daughter quickly grew upset that she didn’t have the coveted window view. Her frustration was clear:

"I want the window! I want the window!"
— the child

child, tantrum, kids, boundaries, spoiled, gifVeruca Salt.

Giphy

Eventually, the mother distracted the child with a tablet, and the flight continued. When everyone deboarded at their destination, the mother shot a lingering remark at u/Safe_Ad_9314:

"Some people just have no heart."
— the mother

That stung. It’s never easy to feel judged—especially when you’ve tried to be polite. Unsure if they’d done the right thing, u/Safe_Ad_9314 turned to the trusty Reddit subforum r/AITAH for feedback, asking, "AITA for not giving up my window seat on a plane to a kid just because she threw a tantrum?"

The response was overwhelmingly supportive, reframing the encounter into a conversation about how we teach children empathy, respect, and understanding of life’s little disappointments.

Boundaries Matter—Especially in Public

Do we cave at the first sign of a tantrum, or do we help kids learn that not every wish can be granted? The community weighed in:

"You teach your kids how society works and that not everything is at their disposal all the time."
u/hierosx

People pointed out that giving in to every demand might soothe tears in the moment, but can set unrealistic expectations for the future. If having a window seat was so important, some said, parents could plan ahead and book one. After all, this wasn’t about denying a child joy, but about showing them how to handle disappointment gracefully.

Why Tantrums Don’t Work

Many commenters stood behind the idea that it’s kinder in the long run to help children learn healthy boundaries:

"I learned when my kids were toddlers that the best policy was 'we do not negotiate with tantrumists.'"
u/BeBearAwareOK

Setting clear limits doesn’t mean being cruel. It means showing kids that while it’s okay to feel upset, not every feeling must be instantly gratified.

Nobody Owes You Their Seat

airplane, plane, window, window seat, boundaries Tip for parents: If you kiddo wants this view, book the right seats. Photo by Francesco Ungaro

At the core, many commenters reminded readers that random strangers aren’t responsible for resolving someone else’s poor planning or appeasing a meltdown:

"It’s not your responsibility to accommodate someone else’s poor planning or their child’s tantrum."
u/experiment_ad_4

Others emphasized that saying “no” isn’t heartless—sometimes it’s a necessary act of kindness to the child, who learns that people have their own boundaries and can’t always bend.

"I am a mum of three. Kids get explained that they can’t have that seat as it’s already occupied, end of it."
u/Sure_Freedom3

Instead of feeling guilty, u/Safe_Ad_9314 received a gentle reminder that upholding personal boundaries is part of living in a shared world. When we calmly stand our ground, we help create an environment where everyone learns that respect and empathy go both ways—even at 30,000 feet.

In the end, that’s what makes these moments matter. When we model healthy limits, we’re not just keeping a seat—we’re showing kids that there’s a bigger picture out there, one where kindness and fairness guide us all.

community, kindness, fairness, boundaries, life lessons Pass It On Be Kind GIF Giphy

This article originally appeared last year.

Family

Daughter finally stands up to mom who called her the wrong name for 19 years

Calling people the wrong name is a profound show of disrespect.

Woman says, 'Stop it, right there."

It can be exceedingly hurtful when someone intentionally calls you by the wrong name because it’s tied to your identity. It shows that the other person isn’t concerned about your wishes or cares enough to put in the time to get your name right. It's also just plain rude.

"[Getting names wrong] can go under the radar for a lot of individuals. Other people can see it as, 'oh, it's not that big of a deal,'" Myles Durkee, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, told the BBC. "What makes it detrimental is the chronic pattern of doing this consistent mispronunciation. And the ripple effects from that are much more adverse, signalling to the individual that they're less important, that they're less valued."

Alyssa, 34, made the case that you don't need to explain your anger when someone calls you the wrong name for years. Alyssa recently had to put her foot down when her 62-year-old mother blatantly called her by a name she hadn’t liked since she was a teenager.

“When I was a child, my parents started using a nickname variant for me (Lyssy vs Alyssa). I have been expressing open distaste for this since I was 15, but I let my family continue using it for a while (because they're family) until about five years ago when I started actively and consistently correcting them. I deeply despise this nickname as it feels patronizing as an adult and they all know that,” Alyssa wrote.

nacknames, reddit, mom fightAn upset teenager.via Canva/Photos

The situation came to a head on Alyssa’s birthday, which she celebrated with her younger brother, Toby, at her parents' house.

“As we're finishing up dinner and discussing [Christmas plans], my mother starts, ‘Toby, you and Lyssy can…’ and I interject with ‘Alyssa.’ It's at this point my mother slams her hands on the table and says, ‘You know what? F*** Christmas!’ and storms off to her room,” Alyssa wrote.

The mother wouldn’t leave her room, even when it was time to cut the cake and sing “Happy Birthday” to Alyssa. Alyssa refused to go to her mother’s room and talk about the disagreement because she made it clear did not want to be called Lyssa.

The father took mom’s side and said she used the wrong name because she has chronic pain and hasn’t been sleeping well.

“Just before I walk out, [Toby] says, ‘Alyssa, stop looking for reasons to hate Mom.’ I've never felt white hot rage flare through me like that, but I held back from cursing him out and just left,” she wrote. Alyssa asked the Reddit forum where she posed her story if she was in the wrong for refusing to smooth things over with her mom.

nacknames, reddit, mom fightAn upset mother. via Canva/Photos

The commenters overly supported Alyssa for drawing a line in the sand. “You are a 34-year-old adult and everybody around you needs to stop calling you names you don't want to be called. It's not a big demand and your end, and it's not a big burden on their end,” one commenter wrote. “Mix-ups happen, but getting angry after making a mistake and holding a grudge for being corrected is toddler behaviour,” another wrote, criticizing the mother.

“I don't see how chronic pain makes it more difficult to pronounce your name correctly. Your name perfectly reasonable to expect everyone to use it. Your correction was very low-key,” another commenter wrote.

However, there were a few people who thought that the mother’s chronic pain may have played a role in her calling the wrong name. “I'm not excusing the mom, but chronic pain can cause something called ‘brain fog,’ and part of that is issues with words,” they wrote. “I suffer from chronic pain due to an autoimmune disorder. I forget words, dates, phone numbers, etc., all the time. You know what I don't forget? My own child's name,” another commenter clarified.

Ultimately, people’s names are precious to them and people think it’s understandable to be angry if someone calls you by the wrong one for years. The mom could have slipped up because she was dealing with brain fog. But if that was the case, why didn’t she just apologize?

via Canva

A dad having a heart-t-heart with his sister-in-law.

Every new parent is bombarded with advice from friends, family and experts on handling everything from feeding to sleeping to screen time. But, in the end, their decisions will often hinge on whether the advice works for their children.

No matter how great the advice or how long people have followed it, every child from the dawn of time is different.

A 30-year-old stay-at-home dad has been taking a lot of heat from his 39-year-old sister-in-law because he’s the primary caregiver and doesn’t feed his kids three meals a day. Instead, he prefers to let his 4-year-old and 18-month-old children graze on snacks every three hours or so.

The sister-in-law said she was “stunned” that he is the primary caregiver because she has a more “traditional” view of marriage. The sister-in-law’s constant judgment of his marriage and how he feeds his kids have become a huge burden, so he shared the story on the Reddit AITA subforum looking for advice.


The dad starts the post by saying that the sister-in-law believes the mom is more important in the home than the dad should be the provider. “So I always felt like she was more critical of me as a parent. Maybe not in clear ways before now, but her attitude made me feel like she was watching closely to see if I was good enough,” he wrote.

reddit, dads, parentingA stay-at-home dad.via Canva

“The way my wife and I feed our kids is different to how my SIL and my brother feed their kids,” the dad continued. “SIL believes in 3 meals a day no matter what the age and nothing more or less. She believes that is the way it has been done for centuries and it works. My wife and I approach it differently.”

The sister-in-law blames the family’s feeding routine on the fact that he’s a stay-at-home father doing the primary caregiving. She says he needs to change his child’s habits because they will cause problems in preschool and kindergarten.

The dad contacted his brother to get the sister-in-law to stop commenting, but nothing changed. The situation came to a head when the family was grocery shopping together.

“She brought it up out of nowhere because she saw the bag I keep the lunch boxes in. She didn’t even see them eat anything but needed to say something,” the dad wrote. “She told me I should practice better eating habits and I told her she should practice keeping her opinions to herself because she doesn’t get a say in how my kids eat and she doesn’t get to open her big mouth about it every time she sees me now. She stormed off outraged and there have been multiple texts from her and my brother since. He’s mostly just telling me what she’s saying but she is big mad.”

So, the dad asked the forum whether he was in the wrong for telling off his sister-in-law.

reddit, dads, parentingA toddler having a snack. via Canva

The responses were overwhelmingly supportive of his actions. One commenter said he should have responded by giving his sister-in-law a taste of her medicine. “Now, if you really want to go there just tell her if she’s so into traditional norms, then perhaps she shouldn’t, as a woman speak to you that way since you are a man and would like to be shown respect as one, and in fact you are disappointed she is choosing to belittle you since it’s not her place,” SingYouLikeASong suggested.

“It just seems to me that SIL feels personally attacked by a man filling familial responsibilities traditionally done by women and from the looks of it, doing a good job of it, too. It's her problem, and she's trying to make it yours by nitpicking at your every action,” Kittenscute added.

“You need to do what works for you and she’s overstepping. You never asked her opinion and she should not have given it,” Nemesis0408 wrote.

Should young children graze or eat only at meal times?

The commenters overwhelmingly agreed that the sister-in-law acted inappropriately and deserved to be told off. However, was she right about how the kids should be fed? According to Natalia, a registered dietitian and child nutritionist, yes.

Natalia says that regular meal times are critical and that children should only snack at scheduled times. “Research shows that the timing of meals and snacks is as important as what we feed our kids,” Natalia writes at Feeding Bytes. “Structure in mealtimes is a foundation of balanced eating habits. But, as many parents will agree, the structure also happens to be the hardest thing to establish.”

Ultimately, the dad was right to tell his sister to stay out of his business, but she did have a point regarding how he fed his kids. This situation would have been a lot better for everyone involved if she had approached her brother-in-law in a kind and loving way instead of as a critic.

Family

Teen shares why he won't change his 'girly' name even though his parents have serious regrets

His parents want him to choose a more "professional" name before college, but he won't have it.

via Canva

A teen fights with his parents to keep his name.

As parents age, they may regret the names they give their children. This is especially true as they get older and have to enter the professional world, where studies show unusual names are a hindrance. However, should they have the right to change their child’s name as a teen if their child isn’t into it?

That’s the crux of a recent viral story on Reddit’s AITA forum.

A 16-year-old boy who goes by the username 1ft2nyn shared how, for the past 6 years, his parents have been nudging him to use a different name, but he isn’t interested. “My parents started to regret my name when I was maybe 10 … [They] started sometimes calling me by my middle name and only stopping when I told them it was weird and I liked my first name. When I was 13, they asked me if I ever went by a nickname and I said no,” he wrote.


The boy’s name is Sunny, which was intentionally spelled with a u, the common girl’s spelling, instead of an o, as in the traditional boy’s spelling of “Sonny.” Sunny says his parents chose the name as a middle finger to their parents, who had insisted on having a hand in naming their previous kids.

names, baby names, name regretA teen fights with his parents to keep his name.via Canva

A year ago, the parents asked Sunny if he wanted to change his name to something “more adult” to spare him the expense of changing the name on his diploma when he graduates college. But Sunny wouldn’t budge. “I was like, ‘Oh, I guess if people want that, it makes sense.’ Then I said, ‘It must suck to hate your name.’

Six months ago, Sunny’s parents said he looked a lot like a “James” and asked if he liked the name Luke. Three months ago, they tried again and presented him with 3 new name options, and he declined to make the change. “They said they feel like they named me as a big f*** you to their families but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man. I told them I didn't want to change my name and I always loved the way they talked about finding my name,” Sunny wrote.

It’s interesting to note that the parent's final appeal to Sunny was as much about their own feelings as his. “They said they really didn't want to live with the guilt,” Sunny wrote. “I told them how I feel about my name is more important now. They told me I should at least think of their feelings and that I should consider the future and whether I'll be taken seriously.”

names, baby names, name regretA teen fights with his parents to keep his name.via Canva

So, is Sunny wrong for refusing to change his name to appease his parents and possibly make his professional life less challenging? The commenters on the post overwhelmingly supported Sunny for standing strong and keeping his name.

“Sonny or Sunny, regardless how you spell it is a perfectly normal name for a male. An identity is intertwined with a name and it's hard to separate the two. You, and you alone, are the person that should decide if you want to change your name,” Naisfurious wrote. “It sounds like your parents are more concerned about their feelings regarding your name than your feelings. that name is yours, you're your own person, and if you don't want to change your name because you like it, then don't. those are their feelings to live with, and putting them on you as a child is unfair and weird. I also have a weather name and I still love it, and i'm almost thirty. More power to you!” Anxious-Nobody-4966 added.

Because Sunny isn’t an adult, there is a slight chance that his parents could change his name without his consent. Some commenters said Sunny should take a firm stand and let his parents know there will be consequences for pushing too hard on this issue.

“Make it clear to your parents that if they were to do that there would be serious long term consequences for your relationship and that you will NEVER answer to or acknowledge that name under any circumstances and will have your name changed back the day you turn 18,” CelticMusebooks wrote. “Let them know the harder they push, the more stubborn you’ll be and if they don’t watch out, their grandson is going to be sunny jr. Whether you actually have a jr. is up to you, but it might help shut them up for now,” RezCuong added.

Ultimately, Sunny only has 2 more years left to fend off his parents and keep his name. The post he made on Reddit received over 2,000 comments from people who have his back, so it has to have given him the shot in the arm he needs to keep standing firm. This post is a great example of people pulling hard for someone to lean into positivity instead of settling for a boring name that looks good on a resume.