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15 people reveal the real reasons why they don’t plan on having children

Nobody should judge another person's reproductive choices.

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via Pixabay and Pixabay

A woman isn't into the idea of having kids.

A growing number of adults in the United States say that they aren’t interested in having children. A 2021 study by Pew Research found that 44% of nonparents aged 18 to 49 say that it is “not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday.” That’s a 7% increase over the 37% who said the same in 2018.

Fifty-six percent of those say they simply don’t want to have children, and the 46% who chose “some other reason” cited medical reasons, their financial situation, lack of a partner, age and state of the world as the biggest reasons they aren’t likely to have kids in the future.

A Reddit user by the name of ilovenosycats asked the online forum, “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?” and received a lot of revealing answers. Over 1,700 people responded to the question, and some of the most popular reasons contradict the idea that those who don’t want to have kids are being selfish.

Many who replied to the thread said they don’t want to have children because they don’t think they’d be good parents. Others are dealing with childhood trauma and have no interest in passing it on to their kids. Some are concerned about the condition of the world and don’t think it’s right to bring a child into such a challenging place.

Some enjoy having fewer responsibilities and a couple of extra dollars in their pockets. And who can blame them?

While it’s good to understand those who want to remain child-free, people’s reproductive choices are no one else’s business. There are many great reasons to have kids or be child-free. So, it’s probably best to celebrate each other’s differences when it comes to such a big decision.

Plus, no one should have children unless they really want them.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?”

1.

"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that." — SignificantFunny1523

Usedcellist1 added:

"This is my reason. Waiting for that 'badly enough"'to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current 'baby wave'), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily."

2.

"Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children." — DamnIGottaJustSay

3.

"This curse ends with me." — DavetheRoper

4.

"Don’t have the patience for kids." — Leoimirmir

5.

"I don’t want to be a parent. That’s a perfectly valid reason." — AllyriaCelene

6.

"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid." — Typical_Conclusion_5

7.

"Would rather help an existing life be better through adoption than to create another one. As well as not pass down my less than optimal genetics." — LoonaticLaskdorp

8.

"I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are." — SnooWords4513

9.

"I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.

I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had.

Overall, I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self-expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way." — TheSoundofStyrofoam

10.

"Bringing someone into this world is cruel." — dziwolonk

11.

"I can barely look after myself let alone a kid." — Rude_Act_6276

12.

"Isn't 8 Billion People enough?" — Georgiculus

13.

"Responsibility is one of the things I hate most in my life. I want peace of mind. I don't want to deal with a creature that I have to take care of everything. Besides, this world isn't a good place anyway, if I had a child I wouldn't be able to live my own life trying to give him a good life. That's why I don't have children." — Corvuseums

14.

"Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)" — probably_a_possum

15.

"I can’t impregnate myself." — Nirvana_bob7

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Too young to be a Boomer, too old to be Gen X: Meet the microgeneration 'Generation Jones'

Generation Jones is made up of people born from 1954 to 1965.

generation jones, gen jones, gen jonesers, girls in 1970s, 1970s, teens 1970s
Image via Wikimedia Commons

Generation Jones is the microgeneration of people born from 1954 to 1965.

Generational labels have become cultural identifiers. These include Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z and Gen Alpha. And each of these generations is defined by its unique characteristics, personalities and experiences that set them apart from other generations.

But in-between these generational categories are "microgenerations", who straddle the generation before and after them. For example, "Xennial" is the microgeneration name for those who fall on the cusp of Gen X and Millennials.

And there is also a microgeneration between Baby Boomers and Gen X called Generation Jones, which is made up of people born from 1954 to 1965. But what exactly differentiates Gen Jones from the Boomers and Gen Xers that flank it?

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What is Generation Jones?

"Generation Jones" was coined by writer, television producer and social commentator Jonathan Pontell to describe the decade of Americans who grew up in the '60s and '70s. As Pontell wrote of Gen Jonesers in Politico:

"We fill the space between Woodstock and Lollapalooza, between the Paris student riots and the anti-globalisation protests, and between Dylan going electric and Nirvana going unplugged. Jonesers have a unique identity separate from Boomers and GenXers. An avalanche of attitudinal and behavioural data corroborates this distinction."

Pontell describes Jonesers as "practical idealists" who were "forged in the fires of social upheaval while too young to play a part." They are the younger siblings of the boomer civil rights and anti-war activists who grew up witnessing and being moved by the passion of those movements but were met with a fatigued culture by the time they themselves came of age. Sometimes, they're described as the cool older siblings of Gen X. Unlike their older boomer counterparts, most Jonesers were not raised by WWII veteran fathers and were too young to be drafted into Vietnam, leaving them in between on military experience.

How did Generation Jones get its name?

generation jones, gen jones, gen jones teen, generation jones teenager, what is generation jones A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons

Gen Jones gets its name from the competitive "keeping up with the Joneses" spirit that spawned during their populous birth years, but also from the term "jonesin'," meaning an intense craving, that they coined—a drug reference but also a reflection of the yearning to make a difference that their "unrequited idealism" left them with. According to Pontell, their competitiveness and identity as a "generation aching to act" may make Jonesers particularly effective leaders:

"What makes us Jonesers also makes us uniquely positioned to bring about a new era in international affairs. Our practical idealism was created by witnessing the often unrealistic idealism of the 1960s. And we weren’t engaged in that era’s ideological battles; we were children playing with toys while boomers argued over issues. Our non-ideological pragmatism allows us to resolve intra-boomer skirmishes and to bridge that volatile Boomer-GenXer divide. We can lead."

@grownupdish

Are you Generation Jones? Definitive Guide to Generation Jones https://grownupdish.com/the-definitive-guide-to-generation-jones/ #greenscreen #generationjones #babyboomer #generationx #GenX #over50 #over60 #1970s #midlife #middleage #midlifewomen #grownupdish #over50tiktok #over60women #over60tiktok #over60club

However, generations aren't just calculated by birth year but by a person's cultural reality. Some on the cusp may find themselves identifying more with one generation than the other, such as being culturally more Gen X than boomer. And, of course, not everyone fits into whatever generality they happened to be born into, so stereotyping someone based on their birth year isn't a wise practice. Knowing about these microgenerational differences, however, can help us understand certain sociological realities better as well as help people feel like they have a "home" in the generational discourse.

As many Gen Jonesers have commented, it's nice to "find your people" when you haven't felt like you've fit into the generation you fall into by age. Perhaps in our fast-paced, ever-shifting, interconnected world where culture shifts so swiftly, we need to break generations into 10 year increments instead of 20 to 30 to give everyone a generation that better suits their sensibilities.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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3 types of ‘effortless’ psychology-based opening lines to start a conversation with anyone

Opening lines that are hard to refuse.

teenage boy, teenage girl, conversation, meeting people, talking
Photo credit:Canva/Photos

A teenage girl and boy having a nice chat.

You’re standing in line at the grocery store and you see someone cute. You’d like to strike up a conversation without it being awkward...but that feels kinda nerve-wracking, right? Or maybe you’re standing around at a party and see someone you’d like to get to know, and want to approach them in a way that doesn’t feel uncomfortable. That probably feels a little scary, too.

The good news is that with a few easy tricks, you can improve your communication skills and feel confident approaching anyone.

According to years of psychological research, several principles can help make striking up conversations with strangers easier. The great thing is that they all work best when approached in a casual, effortless way.

1. Comment on the environment

Let’s say you’re at a party in someone’s living room. You can comment on physical objects: “Gee, this guy sure has a lot of books.” Or maybe you’re at a party where everyone brought food: “The food smells great. What are you grabbing first?” You can also comment on people’s behavior: “Is it me, or is everyone really well dressed tonight?”

This works because of the Joint Attention Effect, which says that when two people pay attention to the same thing at the same time, they create a common point of reference. This shared focus can immediately make people feel closer, even in social situations.

man and woman, wine, social skills, conversation

2. Make a playful comment

People will usually respond when you make a playful or unexpected comment, as long as it isn’t threatening. For example, if the person you want to talk to is holding a cocktail, you might joke, “That drink looks serious.” If you’re stuck in a long line: “Do you know why we’re here? I almost forgot why we’re in line—it’s been so long.” Or if you’re at a child’s birthday party and spot another parent you’d like to talk to: “Be honest, how tired of Little Caesars’ pizza are you?”

This works because of the Benign Violations Theory, which suggests that when someone violates a social norm in a non-threatening way, it makes people laugh and activates bonding mechanisms. It signals to your new friend that you’re playful and friendly, and when they laugh at your joke, it shows that you share similar values.

man and woman, people laughing, sitting on couch, good company, jokes

3. Ask their opinion

Another effortless way to engage someone you don’t know is to ask their opinion. For example, if you’re in the produce section at the supermarket, you might ask, “Do these peaches look good to you?” Or if you’re at a party and bring up a pop culture moment most people watched: “So, was Bad Bunny great at the Super Bowl, or is he overrated?”

This works because of what’s known as Cognitive Ease: people are more likely to respond to questions that are easy to process. Asking someone for their subjective opinion is non-threatening, and it’s easy for them to come up with an answer that makes them feel comfortable. Plus, if social media has taught us anything, it’s that everyone loves to share their opinions.

drinks, bar, socializing, man and woman, party

Next step: Pivot and ask questions

Given that all of these strategies are psychologically designed to elicit a response, even from someone you’ve never met, you have a strong chance of sparking a conversation. The key is to widen the exchange once you get that response by asking two more questions. In fact, a Harvard University study found that one of the easiest ways to be likable is to start a conversation with a question and then follow up with two more.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors wrote. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

These three psychological rules show that it doesn’t take a Herculean effort to coax a stranger into having a conversation. All you have to do is make an effortless invitation by tapping into the environment you share with them, make a playful joke, or ask their opinion. Then ask a few questions, listen, and there’s a good chance you’ve made a new friend.

Pop Culture

A nail salon's ads are so funny people are taking road trips to Canada just for a manicure

He puts a new twist on videos we all love.

nail salon ad; funny nail salon ad; Henry Pro Nails videos; viral videos; canada manicure; canadian nail tech
Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there, and without word-of-mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, many businesses can advertise their services without spending much on traditional marketing like television, billboards, and radio. Using pictures and videos of their amazing work to market can help maintain a steady flow of customers, but one Canadian nail salon is taking a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails which started in Toronto, Canada, is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video uses the beginnings of several viral clips, but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in to complete the viral moment in hilarious, unexpected ways.

HenryProNails takes viral videos and turns them into funny marketing

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears, lying out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, red nail polish, manicure, hands A woman getting her nails painted.via Canva/Photos


In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative, and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet-famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this one is, without a doubt, his most popular—and effective.

People love Henry's videos

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours, and it's only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately, it made all other places disappointing, and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.


In another hilarious video, Henry urges a woman not to divorce her husband for not cooking her dinner, but instead to come get her nails done so she'll feel a lot better.


Henry also jumped onto the "very demure, very mindful" trend on TikTok with his own take on the phrase.



It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what keeps them coming back. If you're ever in Canada and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Jim Henson interviewing with Muppets is a delightful reminder of his magical genius

Even adults would forget that his characters weren't actually alive.

jim henson, muppets, puppets, puppeteering, the muppet show
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Jim Henson with some of his Muppets

Few individuals have had an impact on the childhoods of millions and the imaginations of people of all ages like Jim Henson. From Sesame Street to The Muppet Show to The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, Gen Xers grew up with Henson's magic being a familiar and comforting presence. And to this day, over three decades after his death, the characters he created are still household names.

For those of us who were raised on Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Kermit, and Miss Piggy, Henson's creatures feel as real as any living, breathing performer from our childhoods. But it's not just because we were kids when we were introduced to them. Even adults who met the Muppets found themselves transported into Henson's imaginary world, and after seeing interviews of the puppeteer with his creatures, it's easy to see why.

Watch:

Henson didn't even pretend to not be controlling Kermit. He didn't bother with ventriloquism. And yet, Kermit feels truly alive and separate from the person animating him. It almost feels surreal. Or perhaps just...real.

Henson's characters even convinced film crew members

Both guests and crew members alike found themselves pulled into Henson's world, even while fully understanding that the puppets were being controlled by people. The crew would sometimes move the boom mic to a puppet instead of the puppeteer. Directors would sometimes give stage directions directly to the Muppet instead of the human animating it. Dick Cavett, who interviewed Henson with his Muppets, said, “No matter how much you know about this, it’s completely convincing.”

Even when a Muppet would explain the fact that the person was speaking to a puppet, it still seemed like a sentient being. Case in point:

(This may be the one time you see Henson swear, but in context, it's brilliantly wholesome.)

@guygilchrist

My old boss’s last public performance as Rowlf.🐶🙏🏻 . . #jimhenson #jimhensonscartoonist #themuppets #fyp #foryoupage



Frank Oz shared what it was like to work with Henson

Of course, Henson didn't work alone. Bringing his characters to life in all the ways he envisioned took the work of many people, but none were more aligned with Henson himself than his partner-in-puppetry, Frank Oz. Oz was the Miss Piggy to Henson's Kermit, the Bert to his Ernie, the Animal to his Dr. Teeth.

Oz started working with Henson when he was just 19 years old, and for 27 years the duo created unforgettable magic together. It wasn't just the puppets. It was the voices, the comedic timing, the way they could make you laugh in one moment and well up with tears in the next. Their creatures entertained us but also taught us about being human, which was a truly remarkable feat.

Oz shared what it was like to work with Henson with Gene Shalit after Henson's death in 1990:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Like Fred Rogers, Jim Henson is remembered for being a distinctly decent person in addition to his creative work. He brought the ancient art of puppetry into the modern world, touching every generation in his lifetime and after in a way that remains unmatched. As the tribute song "A Boy and His Frog" by Tom Smith says:

"They say, 'Oh that's foam and a wire, attached to a green velvet sleeve. Anyone can do that.' Well, that's true, I suppose, but who else can make them believe?" (Grab a tissue before listening to this song, Henson lovers. It's a doozy.)

- YouTube youtu.be

How his legacy lives on

Henson’s children, Lisa, Cheryl, Brian, John, and Heather, have carried on his work by running the Jim Henson Company and Jim Henson Foundation, performing themselves, and continuing to advocate for the art of puppetry. They've also kept Jim Henson's Creature Shop running, creating puppets, animatronics, and even digital puppetry. The shop designed and built the full-size animatronic puppets for the 2023 Five Nights at Freddy's movie and works on television, commercial, and themed projects as well.

In 2024, renowned director Ron Howard released a documentary about Henson's life and work, Jim Henson: Idea Man, which can be found on Disney +.

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Joy

Malala Yousafzai's brother reveals beautiful sentiment about living in his sister's shadow

"I'm not in my sister's shadow. I'm in my sister's light."

Malala Yousafzai, Khushal Yousafziai Pakistan, siblings, support, family
Photo credit: Used with permission from Khushal Yousafzai

Malala Yousafzai and her brother, Khushal, pose for a photo.

Malala Yousafzai most certainly has a lot of light. At the young age of 11, she began advocating for education for girls after the Taliban took over her district of Swat in Pakistan. About three years later, she—alongside two other girls—was shot in the head on a bus for her passionate, outspoken views.

She survived and went on to address the United Nations about the importance of education. According to her nonprofit's website:

"The U.N. recognized July 12 as Malala Day, in honour of her courageous advocacy and to highlight the global struggle for education. With her father, her ally and inspiration, she established Malala Fund, an organisation dedicated to giving every girl the opportunity to learn and choose her own future."

Just one year later, she became the youngest-ever recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. She has received numerous awards, been honored by Time Magazine, and continues to inspire people around the world.

Recently, one of her younger brothers, Khushal Yousafzai, was speaking at the Oxford Scholars Program when he was asked whether he ever felt "overshadowed" by his sister's accomplishments. His answer was vulnerable, heartfelt, and lovely:

"My sister nearly died. Forget her winning the Nobel Prize. Forget her getting the limelight. I would give up my life for you to have a life. Death puts things into perspective like nothing else does."

He pauses, then says, "Why would her success take anything away from me? I'm not in my sister's shadow. I'm in my sister's light. And Rumi has this beautiful quote: 'A candle doesn't lose its light when it lights up another candle.' Actually makes the world a brighter place. It lights up the whole room."

He continues with a message about supporting the people you love:

"So guys, uplift each other. If you see your friend, uplift them. Because guess what? We all are gonna die someday. And your friends, I'm sure they mean a lot to you. And at times, there is that feeling of jealousy. You don't want to be going to their funeral and telling their parents how amazing they were. Because guess what? It's too late. So tell them while they're still alive. You don't want to live with that, so uplift people while they're still here."

Khushal speaks frequently to students about his journey. He is also a fierce advocate for education and finding the fuel to live life to its fullest. According to a biography he shared with Upworthy: "Through his educational platform, Yousafzai Academy, he mentors students about personal and academic growth, learning from setbacks, and leadership."

Many commenters on Instagram expressed heartfelt support and said they were deeply touched by his words.

"So beautiful to see his immense love for his sister shared so honestly, vulnerably, and without any hint of shame or resentment," one commenter said. "And the Rumi quote is just so perfect. ❤"

Another notes that his wisdom isn't surprising, considering his whole family is involved in activism: "This family has got all the right things going on! What a gift to the world."

This person was moved by his words, especially by the idea of uplifting people while there's still time: "Wisdom. Beautiful. Fabulous. What a family! Uplift your friends. Uplift people while they are still here. Yes!"

And this commenter deduces that the trauma his family has been through has created a thoughtful empath: "You have a high level of empathy 🙏🏽💕. Only people who have come close to death know the depth of your words and the bond you share with your sister."

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