Audrey Plaza's 'gorge' analogy of grief after her husband's suicide is resonating with people
People who've been through a tragic loss are feeling seen in her interview with Amy Poehler.
Aubrey Plaza opens up on her husband Jeff Baena's death.
Actress Aubrey Plaza gave fans a heartfelt update on her grief journey seven months after losing her husband Jeff Baena to suicide. Plaza, 41, reunited with her iconic Parks and Recreation co-star Amy Poehler on her Good Hang podcast, where she opened up on life and grieving since her husband passed on Jan. 3, 2025.
In an emotional clip, Poehler gently opens the conversation with Plaza to share how she is doing. "To just, to get it out of the way. People want to see you and see how you are. They love you," she says, as she extends her hand out to Plaza to hold with a reassuring "I know" as they clasp hands. As she does, Plaza lets out some uncomfortable laughs, as Poehler continues. "They love you and they want to see you."
Poehler adds, "So, you've had this terrible, tragic year. You lost your husband. You've been dealing with that, and you've been looking for all different ways in which to feel and find support. And on behalf of all the people who feel like they know you and the people who do know you, how are you feeling today?"
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Plaza openly responds, petting her dog Frankie who joined her for the interview. "I mean right in this very present moment I feel happy to be with you. Overall I'm here and I'm functioning, and I feel really grateful to be moving through the world," she says.
She continued, "I think I'm okay. But you know, it's like a daily struggle, obviously."
She goes on to explain how grief has impacted her with a "really dumb analogy." "It was a joke at a certain point, but I actually mean it. Did you see that move The Gorge?" she asks Poehler, who explains its an alien movie starring actor Miles Teller.
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"In the movie there's like a cliff on one side and a cliff on the other side, and then there's a gorge in-between and it's filled with like these monster people that are trying to get them. And I swear when I watched it, I was like, 'That feels like what my grief is like'," Plaza shared. "Or what grief could be like."
She continued, "It's like at all times there's a giant ocean of just awfulness that's like right there and I can see it. And sometimes I just wanna like dive into it and just be in it. And then sometimes I just look at it. And then sometimes I just try to get away from it. But it's always there. It's just always there."
Plaza's beautiful description of grief was praised by fans who applauded not just her openness, but her relatable explanation. "💯 The way she described how grief is always there (in different forms) resonates so much," one wrote. Another shared, "Her self soothing with petting the animal under the desk (I assume) is so relatable."
Fans also opened up about how they were inspired by her honesty. "Agreed. About two years ago, I lost my husband to suicide when I was 29 and he was 30. It’s a terrible experience I would not wish on my worst enemy, and I’m so sad Aubrey Plaza is going through this as well. It’s an isolating experience not many can relate to and her being open makes me feel seen and less alone," another commented.
Another added, "That’s a great description of grief actually. The way she responded to the question at the beginning really resonated with me. When I lost my mom i wasn’t devastated all the time but also I wasn’t exactly doing good inside. So when asked, I would just try to answer how i felt at that very moment because I couldn’t go into how I was really feeling on the inside. And « I’m functioning » was a common answer for me."
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