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Mental Health

What parents can do to prepare for if their teens express suicidal thoughts

Talking about suicide doesn’t cause suicidal thoughts.

Kindel Media|Canva

Preparing for if your child expresses suicidal thoughts

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.


A teen expressing suicidal thoughts can be terrifying as a parent. There's not really a handbook for it and sometimes you're not even the first to know. Teens are at a unique stage in their lives, stuck between adulthood and childhood. They're trying to figure out their place in the world while navigating massive hormonal changes, more challenging work at school, social group pressures, and adults constantly asking what their future plans are.

When you add in the extra layer of sexual orientation outside of heterosexual norms, teens can feel immense pressure they're not fully equipped to handle on their own. But because of their stage of development, secrecy is fairly common, even if you have a close relationship with your teens.

So this can sometimes mean that by the time they're coming to their parent with a problem, they've exhausted all of the resources they have. But there are things parents can do in an attempt to help their teens prepare for suicidal thoughts if they pop up.

Everything a parent can do essentially revolves around having open, honest conversations about suicidal thoughts. Parents often try to steer their kids clear of upsetting information or anything that may seem like it's encouraging an undesirable behavior. But kids are smart and we have to trust them to make the choices right for them based off of the information they have.

Normalizing suicidal ideation as something that some people have can help kids feel comfortable to open up with their parents when they experience them. Passive suicidal ideation is something that many people experience, which can be things like hoping you don't wake up in the morning or wanting a tragic accident to occur. But they can also look like someone saying they don't want to be here anymore or that life would be easier without them.

Parents should have a firm handle on when suicidal thoughts are passive and when they're active so they can impart that knowledge on their children. Passive suicidal thoughts doesn't mean hospitalization, in most cases it means the person would benefit from therapy as there is likely some underlying mental health condition.

Girl laying on couch sad

Statistics|UCLA Health - Image, Satrio Ramadham|Canva

Active suicidal ideation is when a plan is in place. This doesn't mean it's months out. A plan for suicide can come together quickly and impulsively, especially if there's a inciting event like failing an important test or someone threatening to send a teen's inappropriate pictures to everyone on Snapchat. Sextortion has claimed the lives of several teenage boys over the past few years, many of them popular, student athletes with good grades and a strong friend group.

Talking about suicidal thoughts and what to do in the event of having them can help save their lives. Parents can also reassure their children that there is nothing they can do that would make you stop loving them. Bring sexting out on the table to let them know people make mistakes and that you'll always be a safe person to come to if someone is threatening to expose inappropriate pictures. No judgement.

Does that mean you need to agree with them sending inappropriate photos? No. But when they're coming to you in a bind, judgement needs to sit in the backseat until your child is safe. The lesson is already learned and nothing you do or say will drive it home more.

Outside of talking about it openly, discussing the different types of ideation and reassurance that you're a safe person if something big happens-parents should make sure their kids store crisis numbers in their phones. Because they're teens, they don't always come to parents first, so parents making sure kids have crisis numbers stored is that extra layer of knowledge that it's okay to seek help.

Teen with rainbow hair with hands over face sad

Statistics|The Trevor Project - Image, ASphotofamily|Canva

Storing multiple options can be beneficial. 988 is great for crisis phone calls, 741741 is a crisis text line, 1-866-488-7386 is a crisis line for LGBTQ youth and 678-678 is their text option. Even if you don't think your child is a member of the LGBTQ community, it's still beneficial for them to have access to this number whether it benefits them directly one day or if they pass it along to a friend.

If there's ever a time when your child comes to you with an active plan for suicide, you can take them to the nearest emergency department or crisis center. Many psychiatric hospitals will assess people without them being assessed at the emergency department first if they have a bed available, which you can find out by calling ahead. If the crisis is acute and it's not safe to transport your child, you can call 988 and they will work with local emergency services to pick them up.

Woman in grey hoodie with runny mascara

Statistics|UCLA Health - Image, Cottonbro Studio|Canva

Talking to teens about suicide isn't a fun conversation but it has to be had. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people 10-24 years olds, having the conversation and checking in frequently is imperative to ensure teens have the knowledge to keep them earth side as long as possible.

This article was written by Jacalyn Wetzel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and practicing therapist.

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Health

Burnout has therapists seeking other careers when mental health care is needed more than ever

For a therapist, the decision to leave the field doesn’t come easily.

Photo by Alexander Pemberton on Unsplash

Therapists are leaving the profession, creating a shortage just when their services are most needed.

Most of us know that the pandemic has taken a significant toll on people's mental health. Everyone from young kids who missed out on important socialization and learning during the lockdowns to older adults who experienced isolation, to teens, college students, young people just starting out in the world of work and parents … every slice of the population had legitimate struggles. Those seeking therapy were often left stranded due to long waitlists or difficulty finding a therapist that accepts their insurance. That's if they were lucky enough to get a callback.

Therapists themselves have become so overwhelmed and badly burned out that many have just thrown in the towel, and the situation continues to get worse. I was one of those therapists! Walking away was the hardest thing I’ve done because of how much I care about the people I help.

For a therapist, the decision to leave the field doesn’t come easily. By nature, many therapists are compassionate and empathetic people who truly care about their clients and the practice of mental health. For some therapists, walking away can be a choice between life and death. Therapists being pushed to the brink of suicide is not unheard of. Some even succeed in taking their own lives. I knew several therapists who ended their lives, and I was forced to push through the grief until finally the overwhelm became unmanageable. I felt guilty adding to the shortage of therapists, but something had to give.

Like everyone else, therapists have been hit by the pandemic and other tragic events such as mass shootings, but unlike everyone else they are expected to hold the fear and pain of every client they see on top of their own. Many therapists have their own therapists to help them carry the load. The number of therapists to go around just isn’t enough.

Currently there are approximately 530,000 therapists in the United States to serve a population of 330 million people. This number includes clinical social workers, clinical psychologists, licensed counselors and marriage and family therapists, and it also includes those who have left the profession but maintained their license. Obviously every person in America isn’t seeking therapy but it’s clear that there’s a disparity in numbers.

therapist, therapy, burnout

Therapists have to hold everyone else's pain on top of their own.

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

The exodus from the profession is more than simply the high demands of clients. There are multiple factors, including the grind of dealing with insurance companies, many of which require therapists to jump through a lot of hoops to get paid. Insurance companies often reimburse therapists well below what their actual rate of service is, and insurance companies are notorious for doing “clawbacks,” which is essentially when they take money back. Clawbacks can be done for minor things like using a 60-minute code instead of a 45-minute code even though you spent a full hour with the client. Some insurance companies don’t feel that every diagnosis deserves a 60-minute session. There have been reports of clawbacks being tens of thousands of dollars and collected several years after the date of service.

Big box therapy providers have also come in the mix, promising better hours and more control over schedules, only for therapists to feel duped and exploited. Companies like Better Help and Talkspace offer low rates of pay and often require overscheduling for a therapist to be able to make a decent salary without them having to hold a second job.

All in all, therapists are just tired, and trying to figure out what’s best for themselves as well as their clients in that state is not enjoyable or rewarding. For those seeking mental health services, the outlook is a little bleak. Of course, it is possible to find a mental health professionals to help, but it generally takes a good measure of time and effort to find the right one.

Directories such as Therapy Den and Psychology Today are good places to look to find a local therapist who is accepting new clients. Then there's Therapy for Black Girls and Clinicians of Color specifically for people looking for a Black, Indigenous or POC therapist. If you’re uninsured or underinsured you can search for a therapist offering low-cost slots on Open Path Collective.

It's not a stretch to say that the current system is broken, and that negatively impacts both therapists and clients. Of course, there are new therapists joining the profession, and therapists who have taken a step away may well rejoin the profession after a much-needed break. Let's hope that these professionals are eager (again) to help shoulder the problems of the world.

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Well Being

Illinois is fighting the anxiety crisis by giving students five mental health days a year

via Pexels

There is a mental health crisis among America's youth. Major depression in adolescents is up 47% for boys and 65% for girls since 2013 and suicide has increased a staggering 56% from 2007 to 2017 according to the National Federation of State High Schools.

Experts have yet to pin down the specific causes of this crisis but it's believed that increased pressure to succeed, unrealistic expectations caused by social media, and technology's effect on how humans connect may be contributing factors.

"Most experts would agree with me that there is more stress today than in previous generations. Stress triggers depression and mood disorders, so those who are predisposed to it by their creative wiring or genes are pretty much guaranteed some symptoms of depression at the confusing and difficult time of adolescence," Therese J. Borchard, author of "Beyond Blue," says.

"I think modern lifestyles — lack of community and family support, less exercise, no casual and unstructured technology-free play, less sunshine and more computer — factors into the equation," Borchard continues.

On top of the societal factors that have led to a decade-plus decline in mental health, the COVID-19 pandemic has also been hard on American youth.

Pritzker with President Biden earlier this year

To help children and teens better cope with the increased stress in their lives, the state of Illinois is now allowing students to take up to five mental health days per year without a doctor's note. The new law was signed into law by Gov. J.B. Pritzker last week.

The bill passed the Illinois House and Senate unanimously.

Illinois now joins Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, Maine, Nevada, Oregon, and Virginia on the growing list of states that have passed similar bills.

The new law is a big step towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health by making it as important as students' physical well-being.

"It's critical that schools are offering support to students who struggle with their mental health," state Representative Barbara Henandez said in a statement. "Just as we would allow a student with a cold or fever to stay home from school, students should be able to have the same treatment for days where they need a break for their mental health."

Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, medical director of the Child Mind Institute, says we should use mental health days as a way to allow children to celebrate big achievements in school such as completing a big project.

However, if the child is suffering from anxiety or depression, Koplewicz believes that parents and faculty should refer to them as sick days instead of mental health days to remove the sigma.

"Sick days are sick days, whether it's physical or mental," he said.

via Pixabay

In addition to giving kids the mental breaks they desperately need, mental health days are a way to normalize self-care. When schools promote routines that prioritize mental health, they normalize these behaviors and teach children that their mental health is just as important as their physical.

It's great that multiple states are now putting the mental health of their students front and center, but the most important focus should be on fixing the societal problems that have led to the mental health decline in the first place.

Let's see what happens when we start giving kids technology-free days where they look at the world around them through their eyes, instead of a screen, and see how things begin to change.

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