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'Queer Eye's' Karamo Brown uses these 3 words instead of 'coming out'

Karamo Brown wholeheartedly believes LGBTQ people should own their coming out stories and experiences.

That's why the "Queer Eye" star made the personal decision to avoid the phrase "coming out" altogether in his own life.

And his reasoning actually makes a whole lot of sense.

Photo by Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for GLAAD.

Instead of saying "coming out," Brown prefers to use the phrase "letting people in."

It may seem like an inconsequential shift to some. But the culture expert on the new Netflix series — a reboot of Bravo's original "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" — understands the power of words.

"For me, 'coming out' gives the power to the other person to accept or deny you," he explained. "When you're 'inviting them in,' you have the power."

In an interview with NowThis News, Brown expanded on his rationale using an analogy his grandma once told him about inviting guests into his home (emphasis added):

"My grandmother said this and I loved the way she put it: Imagine if somebody came to your house and knocked on your door and you said, 'Hey, come into my fabulous home. It represents me.' And they were like, 'I don't like it.' You're not gonna cry. You're gonna close your door and feel comforted, because you're in your house. And that was the same way [with] me. When I was letting people into my life, if they didn't want to come into my life, I knew that was OK because I still had my home. I felt safe about myself."

Brown made it a point to clarify he doesn't take issue with others saying "coming out." It's simply a personal decision he's made to try to reframe the "letting people in" process as one that prioritizes self-care and empowerment. And that cause is just as relevant as ever.

We've made substantial gains in LGBTQ rights in recent decades, but a new GLAAD survey suggests that progress may not be as durable as we'd hoped it would be: For the first time since 2014, more non-LGBTQ Americans are uncomfortable with LGBTQ people than the year prior.

The stunning trend reversal reflects just how entrenched bigoted attitudes remain in our culture — and how daunting a task the "letting people in" process remains for far too many.

Brown wants every LGBTQ person to feel safe and supported on their own journeys of letting people in.

[rebelmouse-image 19533531 dam="1" original_size="750x499" caption="Brown with "Queer Eye" co-stars Antoni Porowski and Bobby Berk. Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for Shorty Awards." expand=1]Brown with "Queer Eye" co-stars Antoni Porowski and Bobby Berk. Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for Shorty Awards.

Don't feel pressure to adhere to anyone's timeline but your own, the "Queer Eye" star advised those who aren't living openly as LGBTQ quite yet. Make sure to find other queer people and allies who will love you just the way you are.

And, of course, never lower the bar to excuse bigotry.

"If they do not want to come into your life immediately, that has nothing to do with you — they are on their own journey," Brown said. "Do not tolerate disrespect, because you deserve only the best."

If you want more tips and advice on "letting people in," check out online resources at GLAAD and The Trevor Project to learn more.

This article was originally published on April 24, 2018.

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The king of Norway gave a beautiful speech on LGBTQ people and immigrants.

"You are Norway. We are Norway."

This is Harald V, the 79-year-old King of Norway.

Photo by Lise Aserud/AFP/Getty Images.

He's done a lot in his eight decades on this Earth.

For example, Harald V competed in the Olympics in the 1960s — twice.

His devotion to Team Norway hasn't faltered since.

Photo by Richard Heathcote/Getty Images.

He beat cancer over a decade ago.

And he's still going strong.

Photo by Daniel Sannum-Lauten/AFP/Getty Images.

In 2015, he became the first ever reigning monarch to visit Antarctica.

How many septuagenarians can say they did that?

Photo by Tore Meek/AFP/Getty Images.

But a surprising addition to his ever-growing list of big achievements was added this week after a speech he gave to guests in Oslo about equality.

Speeches from Norwegian leaders may not always make waves around the world. But Harald V's words about his country's LGBTQ community — as well as its immigrants and refugees — quickly went viral for all the right reasons.

The king boldly and beautifully pointed out that his country is at its greatest when it cares for all of its people.

"Norwegians are girls who love girls, boys who love boys, and boys and girls who love each other," the king declared outside his palace.

"Norwegians believe in God, Allah, everything, and nothing."

Harald V meets with Malala Yousafzai in 2014. Photo by Heiko Junge/AFP/Getty Images.

"Norwegians are also immigrants from Afghanistan, Pakistan, Poland, Sweden, Somalia, and Syria," he said.

"It is not always easy to say where we come from, to which nationality we belong. Home is where the heart is. That cannot always be placed within country borders."

Photo by Odd Andersen/AFP/Getty Images.

The king's speech, which you can watch below, is powerful at face value. But it's especially so given our current global political climate.

Anti-immigrant sentiment — particularly toward Muslims — is on the rise across many Western countries. Many have pointed to Donald Trump's presidential candidacy, the game-changing Brexit vote, and the popularity of France's far-right Marine Le Pen as proof of this disturbing reality.

Just this week, German Chancellor Angela Merkel's pro-immigrant party suffered blows from anti-Muslim candidates in regional elections.

Photo by Nicolas Asfouri/Pool/Getty Images.

That's why it's not just refreshing to hear a leader speak boldly about the importance of inclusion — it's vital in batting down bigotry.

While Norway has often championed LGBTQ rights and is viewed as a progressive leader on the world stage, anti-Muslim rhetoric has been on the rise there too in recent years. The king's compassionate speech is being heralded as a means to combat that hate.

Harald V may also have had his nation's economy in mind giving this speech: Research suggests that when countries are more open to cultural diversity and prioritize inclusivity, it leads to better economic growth.

Combating hate isn't just the right thing to do, it's the smart thing to do.

"You are Norway," Harald V  said. "We are Norway."

"My biggest hope for Norway is that we will manage to take care of each other, that we can build this country further on trust, solidarity, and generosity."

Photo by Ian Stewart/AFP/Getty Images.

Watch Harald V's entire speech below:

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LGBTQ visibility on TV scored a win on 'Dancing with the Stars' this week.

It's about time, 'Dancing With the Stars.'

Meet Nyle DiMarco. He likes being first at things.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

He was the first deaf contestant on "America's Next Top Model." And (spoiler alert) he ended up winning the 22nd and final season of the show.

Can you spot him? He's there, on the far left, alongside several other not-so-unattractive guys. Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images for NYLON.

Then DiMarco joined the cast of "Dancing With the Stars," where he became the first male contestant who is deaf.


So far, DiMarco's been killing it. With just five dance couples left as of mid-May, he remains in the running to snag "DWTS" gold. (Basically, if you need someone to win a reality show competition, bet on DiMarco.)

And on May 9, 2016, he got yet another "first" under his reality show belt.

DiMarco, along with fellow contestant Jodie Sweetin, performed the first "DWTS" same-sex dance routine on Monday night's show.

GIF via "Dancing With the Stars."

For the show's Team-Up Challenge week, DiMarco — who identifies as part of the LGBTQ community— swapped dance partners with Sweetin (who ended up being eliminated, to the dismay of "Fuller House" fans everywhere). DiMarco danced with Keo Motsepe and Sweetin snagged Peta Murgatroyd for part of the routine.

First of all, the crowd loved it.

GIF via "Dancing With the Stars."

"This is a 'Dancing With the Stars' first," DiMarco told cameras after the performance, Pink News reported.

"It’s a different experience," he noted about being lifted by a male partner. "Usually I’m lifting Peta but … should it only be for a woman? Maybe Peta can lift me at some stage?"

Second of all, it's especially cool to see "DWTS" embrace a same-sex routine considering the network hasn't always been so open to it.

Would a guy-guy or girl-girl primetime routine have flown on a major network five years ago? Probably not.

Even just last year, reports surfaced that ABC had put the kibosh on the prospects of a gay artist dancing hip to hip with another man on the show.

Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images for Caruso Affiliated.

DiMarco and Sweetin's same-sex routines put yet another dagger in the heart of mainstream TV homophobia, especially seeing as — knock on wood — there's been little to no backlash over the inclusive dance on the highly-rated, family-friendly show so far.

Real talk, though: While this is a big win for diversity and representation, there's still so much more work to get done when it comes to fair and accurate depictions of LGBTQ characters and storylines on TV. So this was one victorious battle in a very long war, you could say.

Hopefully the same-sex routines by DiMarco and Sweetin will be the first of many on "DWTS."

There's been one "DWTS" same-sex routine in the show's past 22 seasons. I say the producers start making up for lost time.

Watch DiMarco and Sweetin's routines below:

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