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Lessons we should have learned from the liberation of Auschwitz and other Nazi camps

It's been more than 75 years since the last prisoners were freed from Auschwitz. The farther we get from that chapter, the more important it is to focus on the lessons it taught us, lest we ignore the signs of history repeating itself.

Lessons we should have learned from the liberation of Auschwitz and other Nazi camps

From 1940 to 1945, an estimated 1.3 million people were deported to Auschwitz, the largest complex of Nazi concentration camps. More than four out of five of those people—at least 1.1 million people—were murdered there.

On January 27, 1945, Soviet forces liberated the final prisoners from these camps—7,000 people, most of whom were sick or dying. Those of us with a decent public education are familiar with at least a few names of Nazi extermination facilities—Auschwitz, Dachau, Bergen-Belsen—but these are merely a few of the thousands (yes, thousands) of concentration camps, sub camps, and ghettos spread across Europe where Jews and other targets of Hitler's regime were persecuted, tortured, and killed by the millions.


The scale of the atrocity is unfathomable. Like slavery, the Holocaust is a piece of history where the more you learn the more horrifying it becomes. The inhumane depravity of the perpetrators and the gut-wrenching suffering of the victims defies description. It almost becomes too much for the mind and heart to take in, but it's vital that we push through that resistance.

The liberation of the Nazi camps marked the end of Hitler's attempt at ethnic cleansing, and the beginning of humanity's awareness about how such a heinous chapter in human history took place. The farther we get from that chapter, the more important it is to focus on the lessons it taught us, lest we ignore the signs of history repeating itself.

Lesson 1: Unspeakable evil can be institutionalized on a massive scale

Perhaps the most jarring thing about the Holocaust is how systematized it was. We're not talking about humans slaying other humans in a fit of rage or a small number of twisted individuals torturing people in a basement someplace—this was a structured, calculated, disciplined, and meticulously planned and carried out effort to exterminate masses of people. The Nazi regime built a well-oiled killing machine the size of half a continent, and it worked exactly as intended. We often cite the number of people killed, but the number of people who partook in the systematic torture and destruction of millions of people is just as harrowing.

It has now come out that Allied forces knew about the mass killing of Jews as early as 1942—three years before the end of the war. And obviously, there were reports from individuals of what was happening from the very beginning. People often ask why more wasn't done earlier on if people knew, and there are undoubtedly political reasons for that. But we also have the benefit of hindsight in asking that question. I can imagine most people simply disbelieving what was actually taking place because it sounds so utterly unbelievable.

The lesson here is that we have to question our tendency to disbelieve things that sound too horrible to be true. We have evidence that the worst things imaginable on a scale that seems unfathomable are totally plausible.

Lesson 2: Atrocity can happen right under our noses as we go about our daily lives

One thing that struck me as I was reading about the liberation of Auschwitz is that it was a mere 37 miles from Krakow, one of the largest cities in Poland. This camp where an average of 500 people a day were killed, where bodies were piled up like corded wood, where men, women, and children were herded into gas chambers—and it was not that far from a major population center.

And that was just one set of camps. We now know that there were thousands of locations where the Nazis carried out their "final solution," and it's not like they always did it way out in the middle of nowhere. A New York Times report on how many more camps there were than scholars originally thought describes what was happening to Jews and marginalized people as the average person went about their daily lives:

"The documented camps include not only 'killing centers' but also thousands of forced labor camps, where prisoners manufactured war supplies; prisoner-of-war camps; sites euphemistically named 'care' centers, where pregnant women were forced to have abortions or their babies were killed after birth; and brothels, where women were coerced into having sex with German military personnel."

Whether or not the average person knew the full extent of what was happening is unclear. But surely there were reports. And we know how the average person responds to reports, even today in our own country.

How many news stories have we seen of abuses and inhumane conditions inside U.S. immigrant detention camps? What is our reaction when the United Nations human rights chief visits our detention facilities and comes away "appalled"? It's a natural tendency to assume things simply can't be that bad—that's undoubtedly what millions of Germans thought as well when stories leaked through the propaganda.

Lesson 3: Propaganda works incredibly well

Propaganda has always been a part of governance, as leaders try to sway the general populace to support whatever they are doing. But the Nazis perfected the art and science of propaganda, shamelessly playing on people's prejudices and fears and flooding the public with mountains of it.

Hermann Goering, one of Hitler's top political and military figures, explained in an interview late in his life that such manipulation of the masses isn't even that hard.

"The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders," he said. "That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Terrifyingly true, isn't it? This is why we have to stay vigilant in the face of fear-mongering rhetoric coming from our leaders. When an entire religion or nationality or ethnic group is painted as "dangerous" or "criminal" or "terrorists," we have to recognize that we are being exposed to the same propaganda used to convince Germans that the Nazis were just trying to protect them. Safety and security are powerful human desires that make it easy to justify horrible acts.

Hitler was also great at playing the victim. While marching through Europe, conquering countries and rounding up millions of innocent people to exterminate, he claimed that Germany was the one under attack. Blatant anti-Semitic rhetoric surely fired up Hitler's core supporters, but the message to the average German was that this was all being done in the name of protecting the homeland, rather than a quest for a world-dominating master race.

Lesson 4: Most of us are in greater danger of committing a holocaust than being a victim of one

I had to pause when this realization hit me one day. As fairly average white American, I am in the majority in my country. And as strange as it is to say, that means I have more in common with the Germans who either committed heinous acts or capitulated to the Nazis than I do with the Jews and other targets of the Nazi party. That isn't to say that I would easily go along with mass genocide, but who's to say that I could fully resist the combination of systematic dehumanization, propaganda, and terrorism that led to the Holocaust? We all like to think we'd be the brave heroes hiding the Anne Franks of the world in our secret cupboards, but the truth is we don't really know what we would have done.

Check out what this Army Captain who helped liberate a Nazi camp said about his bafflement at what the Germans, "a cultured people" allowed to happen:

"I had studied German literature while an undergraduate at Harvard College. I knew about the culture of the German people and I could not, could not really believe that this was happening in this day and age; that in the twentieth century a cultured people like the Germans would undertake something like this. It was just beyond our imagination... Captain (Dr.) Philip Leif - 3rd Auxiliary Surgical Group, First Army

Some say that we can gauge what we would have done by examining what we're doing right now, and perhaps they are right. Are we speaking out against our government's cruel family separations that traumatize innocent children? Do we justify travel bans from entire countries because we trust that it's simply our leadership trying to keep us safe? Do we buy into the "Muslims are terrorists" and "undocumented immigrants are criminals" rhetoric?

While it's wise to be wary of comparing current events to the Holocaust, it's also wise to recognize that the Holocaust didn't start with gas chambers. It started with "othering," scapegoating, and fear-mongering. We have to be watchful not only for signs of atrocity, but for the signs leading up to it.

Lesson 5: Teaching full and accurate history matters

There are people who deny that the Holocaust even happened, which is mind-boggling. But there are far more people who are ignorant to the true horrors of it. Reading first-hand accounts of both the people who survived the camps and those who liberated them is perhaps the best way to begin to grasp the scope of what happened.

One small example is Supreme Allied Commander Dwight D. Eisenhower's attempt to describe what he saw when he visited Ohrdruf, a sub-camp of Buchenwald:

"The things I saw beggar description. While I was touring the camp I encountered three men who had been inmates and by one ruse or another had made their escape. I interviewed them through an interpreter. The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were so overpowering as to leave me a bit sick. In one room, where they were piled up twenty or thirty naked men, killed by starvation, George Patton would not even enter. He said that he would get sick if he did so. I made the visit deliberately, in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to 'propaganda.'"

And of course, the most important narratives to read and try to digest are the accounts of those who survived the camps. Today, 200 survivors of Auschwitz gathered to commemorate the 75th anniversary of its liberation. They warned about the rise in anti-Semitism in the world and how we must not let prejudice and hatred fester. Imagine having to make such a warning seven decades after watching family and friends being slaughtered in front of you.

Let's use this anniversary as an opportunity to dive deeper into what circumstances and environment enabled millions of people to be killed by one country's leadership. Let's learn the lessons the Holocaust has to teach us about human nature and our place in the creation of history. And let's make darn sure we do everything in our power to fend off the forces that threaten to lead us down a similarly perilous path.


This article originally appeared on 01.27.20

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

Education

How embracing the 'Empty Boat Theory' can help you keep anger and anxiety in check

The classic Taoist parable has found new life on TikTok, but its core message stays the same.

empty boat theory, taoism, buddhism, psychology, mindset, anger, anxiety, self help, mindfulness

Ancient wisdom for the modern day.

We all have moments where it feels like the world is against us. When we assume people are thinking negatively about us, we act accordingly by becoming angry or anxious. Once that mindset latches on, it can be tough to let go.

But one simple Taoist parable-turned-viral-TikTok-hack offers a gentle yet powerful reminder that we are not the main character in everyone’s story.


What is the “Empty Boat Theory”?

@sean.of.the.living The “empty boat” theory has me brain spinning lately. This is a brain hack to staying in a happier mindset. #advice #emptyboat #lifehack ♬ original sound - sean.of.the.living

Think of it as a thought experiment. Imagine yourself on a boat in the middle of a lake, as another boat drifts towards you, threatening to knock right into you. The closer this incoming vessel gets, the angrier you become.

Then, at the last second, you steer your boat out from the path of collision, only to notice that the other boat is empty. What this really puts into perspective, as TikToker @sean.of.the.living put it, is “There was never anybody to be angry with in the first place.”

“That’s life, isn’t it?” he said. “We assume everything’s about us. ‘They’re just doing that to screw me, to piss me off.’”

“Most of the time, nobody’s thinking about you.”

The Empty Boat Parable

@aliabdaal The Empty Boat: A Lesson in Letting Go A man gets furious when another boat crashes into him, shouting and ready to fight. But when the fog clears, he sees the boat is empty. No one was steering, no harm was intended. His anger disappears. Most frustrations in life are just empty boats. People are dealing with their own struggles, not trying to hurt you. Next time you feel anger rising, ask yourself – am I just reacting to an empty boat?
♬ original sound - Ali Abdaal

However, long before it was a viral brain hack on TikTok, this story taught how much self-inflicted suffering comes simply from the stories we tell ourselves about other people's attitudes towards us.

As the parable goes, a young monk (or simply a young man, depending on which version you read) hops onto a boat in hopes of finding a quiet spot to meditate. Suddenly, he is bumped by another boat. Furious, the monk opens his eyes and lashes out at the person responsible for disrupting his flow. There is, however, no one to blame. The boat is empty. Knowing there's now no one to be mad at, truly, the man's anger instantly dissipates.

The core message is that sometimes a bump is just a bump. We need not assume malicious intent, and would be better equipped to handle life’s collision with grace if we didn’t.

The Spotlight Effect

Bringing it into therapy-speak, the Empty Boat Theory/Parable also relates to the spotlight effect, which is the tendency to wrongly believe that others are mentally scrutinizing us when, in fact, they are likely not thinking about us at all.

This bias is a symptom of egocentrism. You don’t have to be a full-blown narcissist to be egocentric. We all, from time to time, consider ourselves to be the center of the universe in some way. It’s part of being an individual! But without mindfulness, we can let our egos overestimate how many eyes are actually on us at any given time, which only leads to a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Whether you wanna call it a brain hack, ancient wisdom, or a psychological principle, we could all benefit from reminding ourselves to really pick our battles. Easier said than done in today’s world, but vital nonetheless. Here's to hoping that being aware of all the empty boats out there will lead to smoother sailing for everyone.

And if you're wondering just who’s to blame for letting that rogue boat out to wreak havoc on the water…? Well, that’s a different conversation.

This article originally appeared last year.

death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visions, visioning

A nurse explains how 'visioning' 3-4 weeks before death works.

A new video by a hospice nurse offers a compelling reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown. Julie McFadden, a hospice nurse, shares that when her patients are nearing death, they often have comforting visions. McFadden posts videos helping to demystify the dying process and bring comfort to people with a loved one in hospice care, or who may be dying themselves. Her profile reads, "Helping understand death to live better and die better." McFadden is also the author of the bestselling book, “Nothing to Fear.”

Hospice Nurse Julie has earned over half a million subscribers and has witnessed over a hundred deaths. In a recent video, she reveals that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days. She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks. It's almost as if these loved ones are welcoming them to the other side.


"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie begins the video.

A sign that someone is close to death

- YouTube youtu.be

"Usually, a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients. "We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Julie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

Visioning is always a comforting experience


death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visions, visioning A terminally ill woman in her hospital bed. via Canva/Photos


It often involves relatives who 'come from the other side' to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or their father’s cigar.

These visitors can also appear in groups. Patients might report the room feeling 'crowded', like they are being joined by many people at once. The interesting thing is that patients aren't afraid of the visions. In fact, they welcome them. They work towards making them feel comfortable as they transition out of life.

Medical professionals are unsure why visioning occurs

Christopher Kerr, the CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives who often appear in these visions are those who protected and comforted the dying parent while they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them, but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that occur when people die, but has no real explanation for why his patients experience visioning. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

In a more in-depth video, Hospice Nurse Julie shares actual footage of a dying woman experiencing visioning. It's extremely powerful:

- YouTube www.youtube.com


It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z

Gen X designated the 'worst grandparents' by Millennials

Generation X, typically the children of Baby Boomers born between the years of 1965-1980 tend to have a complicated reputation depending on who you ask. Some view them as a feral generation never to be spoken of poorly without consequence, while others view them as innovators pushing us into the future. But in recent years, Gen Xers have been dubbed the "worst grandparents" by social media users.

This multi-year conversation started when a video went viral calling Gen X out for being "terrible" grandparents, claiming that they never want to help with grandchildren. It didn't take long before other Millennials piled on to air their own grievances about Gen X grandparents. Most people criticizing the "new grandparents" were genuinely perplexed as to how they did not want to be more involved in the lives of their grandchildren.


Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z Family baking fun in the kitchen.Photo credit: Canva

Kylie Muse reveals in a video that she felt neglected by her Gen X parents growing up, saying, "It's quite a common theme for Gen X parents to be neglectful in some capacity and it's just crazy to me how more of them haven't learned from the past 20 to 30 years, instead of these grandparents seeing their kids having kids as an opportunity to restore the health in their relationships with their kids by showing up and helping them during the hardest transition of their lives, they would rather double down and compromise their relationship with that next generation. All for the sake of hyper-individualism and pride."

@kylies.muse

Gen x grandparents and their beloved empty nest 🥴 just say you hate having a family 😭 #grandparents #grandparentsoftiktok

The critique coming from the younger generation is not lost on Gen X, and they started coming out in force to respond with such vigor you'd think John Hughes had just announced the re-release of The Breakfast Club. It would seem that some of the people complaining of the lack of involvement have not considered that Gen X could have valid reasons for not immediately jumping in to take on grandparenting in the way some expect. A man by the name of John S. Blake gives a candid look into why Gen X was neglected as children and, in turn, became hype-independent at an early age.

"As a Gen X who's been on this earth long enough to have some hindsight I can tell you this, being independent at a young age is not a flex, what it actually means is capitalism is so brutal that our parents were forced to neglect their own children to stay alive. My generation was struggling so much that we had to leave our children unattended in order to produce enough so that we could afford to exist," Blake says.

@blackfluidpoet

Replying to @ellens0061 #foryoupage #homealone #fyp #foryou

But perhaps one of the most heart wrenching explanations comes from an elder Millennial who goes by the name Amazing Dea. In response to another Millennial who asks about Gen X being let off the hook, Dea shares, "Being as though you look like you might be a younger Millennial, let me go ahead and enlighten you. Generation X and older Millennials had to live through more than just this pandemic. We had the crack epidemic, we had the AIDS epidemic and let me tell you something, it was scary as f***."

Dea went on to explain that there were apartment complexes burned due to high populations of people with AIDS living in them and how they would witness people go from being completely normal to being addicted to crack in a matter of weeks. It seems that depending on socioeconomic status, Gen Xers lived wildly different lives with the common theme being growing up entirely too fast at an extremely young age.

Gen X; Gen X grandparents; absent grandparents; Gen X worst grandparents; Millennials; worst grandparents; Gen Z Three generations smiling by the sea.Photo credit: Canva

Another person kindly breaks down the confusion over why Gen X isn't rising to the occasion of being award-winning grandparents. In response to the criticism she replies, "We grew up in a different time, first of all. A lot of us, meaning me, Gen X, I was raised by boomers. A lot of us did not get raised by our grandparents. We were like the feral kids, like by 7 and 9 years old we were actually babysitting our brothers and sisters, alright."

The woman explains further in the video that Gen X doesn't want to raise their grandchildren or simply be babysitters, that there's a difference between expecting grandparents to be involved and expecting them to be babysitters.

@that1crazy72

Let’s take it a step further. You share DNA with your grandkids they are part of you not everyone gets the privilege of being a grandparent so if you are one take that as a blessing #genxgrandparents

In many of the response videos shared by Gen Xers, they certainly seem to love their grandchildren and children alike, but there's a discrepancy in expectation. The consensus of the forgotten generation seems to be that they had adult responsibilities much too early, were exposed to adult life experiences at a young age, and were often left to their own devices for long periods of time while also being told that their voices didn't matter.

While the argument seems to be around their lack of involvement as grandparents, they appear to be saying that they want to enjoy the freedom they didn't have as children, while being valued as a person and not a babysitter. In many follow up videos, Gen Xers gushed over their grandchildren and how they loved when they were around. It's just that they draw the line at raising them. Maybe for some, their experiences with their own childhood isn't enough to move Gen X out of the "worst grandparents" category, but for others it provides much needed context.

This article originally appeared in June.

gen z, gen alpha, generations, generational differences, gen x, boomers, millennials, millennial parents, kids, teens
via Anna Shvets/Pexels

Adults are having a really hard time keeping up with the interests of Gen Z and Gen Alpha

When it comes to young people, every generation is different from the one that precedes it. It makes sense. Every group grows up in different economic, cultural, and technological circumstances, so of course they’re going to have different tastes and values. It’s also natural for younger generations to rebel against their parents and create their own unique identities.

These days, however, with the rapid changes in technology and culture spurred on by the Internet, some older people (Baby Boomers, Gen X) think the younger generations (Millennials, Gen Z, Gen Alpha) are downright confusing. Further, Gen Z and Gen Alpha were raised during the pandemic, the #MeToo movement, and the murder of George Floyd, which have had an enormous impact on how they see the world.


kids, generations, boomers, gen x, millennials, gen z, gen alpha A grandpa with his grandsons on their smartphones. Canva Photos

To help the older folks who may be confused by “kids these days” feel less alone, a Redditor named 5h0gKur4C4ndl posed a question to the AskReddit subforum, “What is something about the newer generations that you can't seem to understand?”

A lot of the responses were centered around the younger generations’ relationship to technology.

The older generations also seem concerned that younger kids are a lot more prudish than their parents, and should learn how to lighten up and have some fun—a big role reversal from previous generational wars.

Here are 15 things about the younger generations that older people just don’t understand.

1. Recording yourself crying

woman, young woman, crying, smartphone, recording yourself crying Young woman crying while holding her phone.Canva Photos

For many younger people, everything is "content." Even their most intimate and private moments.

"THIS IS THE ONE. I do not know how intense your desire for external validation has to be for you to be in the midst of crying and think 'Lights, camera, action baby let's make sure as many people see this as possible.'" — Thrillmouse

"People who record themselves crying are already weird but posting it on the internet is weirder. imagine clicking 'post' to every social media they have. do they seriously not look at what they're posting online?" — TryContent4093

2. Poor grammar

AI and automatic grammar checkers may be taking a toll on young people's ability to write for themselves.

"The emails I get from my students aged 18-25 are such a mess of incoherent garbage, I can't tell if they are lazy or if it's an actual literacy issue. And I'm barely older than they are so if this is a generational gap, it happened quickly!" — NefariousSalmander

"It's a block of text with no capitalization or punctuation. Imagine receiving 6 consecutive one-line texts at once. If you can figure out where the periods should go then you can make sense of it, but it's all texting abbreviations and slang. Something like, 'yo mr y u slow fixin my grade I trned in the lab last class my dad gonna take my phone lmk.'" — Ceesa

3. Learned helplessness

"I'm a middle school teacher. My kids will routinely claim they can't do anything and then shut down and do nothing. And then... It's easy and they do it. So basically it's the degree of learned helplessness. They know to ask when I go over, but if there are twenty kids and I get to them last, they will do nothing (no phones, nothing!) for twenty minutes and act surprised I'm irritated they didn't grab a damn pencil from the freeeee pencils on my desk. And then act surprised they're behind on the assignment!" — Scarletuba

4. The Internet is forever

Pro tip: Never participate in one of those TikTok "street interviews" after you've had a few drinks.

"The lack of understanding that things put on the internet are public forever." — Leading_Screen_4216

5. No self-confidence

boy, shy, teen, young person, hiding, self confidence Boy with his head in his hands.Canva Photos

"37-year-old attending college for the first time here. They have negative confidence. They barely speak above a mumble, especially when answering a question from the teacher. Most of them would rather die than talk to someone they're interested in. It's like 90% of them are cripplingly introverted." — Intelligent-Mud1437

6. They need attention

Social media "Influencer" and "YouTuber" are highly sought after career paths because of the fame and notoriety they bring.

"We were saying what we would do if we won the big lottery jackpot. The new 22-year-old hire said he’d become an influencer. Can you imagine winning a billion at 22 and that’s what you would do? Not start a business, travel the world, charity, sports, property… Learn something… but become an influencer… with a billion dollars. I mean, like, he’s gonna hire a marketing company to fabricate interest in his social media? He’s gonna spend money on stupid things to make people cringe or rage comment? With a billion dollars." — Covercall

7. Put your phone down

"Why do you want to watch 100% of a concert, that you paid good money for, through your phone lens?" — LeluWater

"I was yesterday in a Linkin Park cover band concert, a fuckin blast. There was that one guy, that spent every song recording HIS FACE 'singing' along. Not the band, his face. Please wake me up in 1995." — pls_tell_me

The older generations are right about this one. Recording an experience actively worsens your enjoyment of it in the moment.

8. Phone at the movies

"Why do they go to the movies only to scroll through their phone the entire time?" — IAmASurgeonDoctorHan

"My wife does this. Not at the theater, but we'll be watching a movie or TV show, and she'll be glued to her phone. Then when she looks up she doesn't get what's going on and we have to pause while I explain what just happened and why." — Project2R

Anyone who's fluent in smartphones can get caught up in this one. It's tough to get through a whole movie or show at home without checking your phone! We're all addicted.

9. Paranoia

"I’m in my forties and I manage a small group of people who are in their 20s to early thirties. What I notice most is how anxious and fearful they seem to be. Everyone is out to get them. I often get approached by subordinates who want me to do something about a colleague who is doing them wrong in some way. After I gather more information, it almost always is a case of poor assumption about someone else’s intentions, coupled with a desire to jump to the worst-case scenario. If I ask them a series of probing questions about other possible interpretations they often admit they didn’t consider those possibilities." — Reasonable_Human55

10. Putting on airs

"Comparison is the thief of joy." Only, young people who were raised on social media didn't get the memo.

"I don't understand why most of them want to look rich with expensive s**t and most of them act like they run businesses or something. They take pictures with cars that are not theirs for example. Dude chill, you're 16." — Honest_Math7760

"Because they are indoctrinated by social media that tells them they are a failed human if they don’t become a multi-millionaire entrepreneur." — Outrageous_Glove_467

11. The new Puritans

puritan, painting, gen z, values, morals "A Fair Puritan" by E. Percy Moran, 1897.Canva Photos

It's weird for Gen Xers and Millennials to be old enough to witness the cultural pendulum swinging back the other way in several key ways.

"This weird new Puritan wave they are riding on. We struggled for generations to free ourselves from oppressive dogmas, and now they are all-in on the whole: 'if you like anything even remotely non-wholesome, you should be arrested and burn in hell.' ... Constantly calling for bans on anything that upsets them, instead of learning how to avoid the things that upset them." — SleepyCera

"The prudishness is so weird to me. Hearing young people talk about body counts' and how you should be married with kids by the age of 25, or you’re past your prime is absolutely insane. Even my Christian grandparents weren’t as sexually conservative as this generation. The complete demonization of partying, drinking, and going out is weird too—like I can see being traumatized by fentanyl and the general lack of safety around drugs, but I did most of my socializing as a young person by going to concerts and nightlife events and meeting people, and they seem to just…not do anything social?" — Counterboudd

12. Can't handle stress

"The absolute lack of capacity to deal with any emotional stress or upheaval without turning into a gibbering mess. ...I had someone messing around in a lecture, playing with their phone and being disruptive. I stopped the lecture and told them to put it away and pay attention or leave. They looked SHOCKED to have been called out and sat there quietly for the next 10-15 minutes until suddenly going all 'deer in the headlights' when asked a question in relation to the topic and then running the full length of the lecture hall and out the room. I was informed the following day that the student had went to counseling services to complain that I had 'put unreasonable pressure on him by asking him questions in class, and set off his anxiety.'" — Indiana_Harris

13. White socks with sneakers

"How pulling up white socks with sneakers was the most unfashionable middle-aged American dad clothing in the entire world. To being fashionable." — Awkward_Moments

"Socks with sandals too. And mustaches. Kids today think dressing like a dorky dad thirty years ago is cool. I laugh at them all the time." — IDigRollingRockBeer

14. Watching video games

It is impossible for anyone over the age of 30 to understand "streamer" culture.

"Why they'd rather watch someone else play a video game than play it themselves. That was a punishment when I was a kid, not entertainment." — DeadDevilMonkey

15. External stimulation

kids, distracted, external stimulation, technology, young people Kids glued to their phones.Canva Photos

"Will never understand the constant need for external stimulation. I’m quite happy just to ponder my own thoughts. I love flying, because it gives me several hours to think on shit without distraction. Ask young people to put down their phone? It’s as if you asked them to chop off their left hand." — Midnight_Poet

Though older generations definitely have a lot of legitimate concerns about younger folks, much of the list was created in jest. In reality, there's a lot to like about Gen Z and Gen Alpha because they have a lot of fantastic qualities. For example, Gen Z is really driving change when it comes to work life balance. They refuse to make their career their whole life, thus avoiding getting sucked into the same trap as previous generations. They're also, as a group, much more inclusive. They can also be extremely creative and willing to take big risks to achieve their dreams and get ahead in an economy that's stacked against them.

So cheers to you, young people. We only tease because we love you.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

Pets

Shelter dog doesn't know what to do with her first toy but melts when offered affection

The stray pup's smelly, itchy skin condition didn't stop Rocky Kanaka from scooping the sweet girl into his arms.

shelter dog, rescue dog, rocky kanaka, pets, dogs, stray dog
Rocky Kanaka/YouTube (used with permission)

Katie had a rough start in life and clearly wasn't used to being loved.

If you're an animal lover and unfamiliar with Rocky Kanaka, you're in for a treat. Watching Kanaka sit with shelter dogs, helping them feel safe with humans through patient effort and palpable compassion, is always a hopeful experience in the end. But the beginning is often rough, as the dogs he meets with may have been through all manner of abuse and neglect.

When Kanaka first met Katie, a scruffy beige Australian Shepherd mix, he thought she was a senior dog. As it turned out, the shelter pup was only about a year old. She had just been found by a good samaritan as a stray, her fur and skin in terrible shape, her paws swollen, and her spirit muted. She didn't even want to look at Kanaka when he first entered the kennel to sit with her.


That all changed as he took the time to sit with her and earn her trust. Kanaka has gained a huge following on YouTube and his way with vulnerable dogs is truly inspiring. He brings his own home-baked treats and a huge amount of patience and compassion, helping abandoned animals learn that humans can be kind and caring companions.

- YouTube youtu.be

Katie is one of many dogs Kanaka has visited, and her behavior in the kennel showed him that she hadn't had much of a chance in her short life to learn how to be a dog.

"Introducing toys to Katie was its own adventure," Kanaka wrote. "I mean, you’d think a toy is just a toy, but for Katie, it was like I’d brought a puzzle from another planet. First up was the unicorn toy, all colorful and plush. To me, it screamed fun, but to Katie, it was a head-scratcher. She eyed it like it was going to come alive any second. Honestly, watching her try to figure it out was both heartwarming and a bit funny. It was a reminder that she hadn’t had the chance to just be a dog, to play without a care in the world."

He tried a squeaky toy, which she also didn't know what to do with and found overwhelming after a few squeaks. She took Kanaka's treats, but not immediately and not in the way a dog who understands the concept of treats would.

But throughout the video, the stray pup responded to Kanaka's affection and love by melting right into it. She even wanted to sit in his lap toward the end, but didn't seem to know how. Kanaka scooped her up, despite the foul smell her skin condition created, and it's clear that this pupper just loves being loved.

shelter dog, rescue dog, rocky kanaka, pets, dogs, stray dog Katie's skin condition made it hard to attract a rescuer. Courtesy of rockykanaka.com

It's hard for animals with obvious health issues, especially something as visible as a skin condition that makes them look and smell bad, to attract people looking to adopt. But by taking half an hour to get to know her, Kanaka helped us all look past all that and see Katie's sweet spirit shine through.

So many people fell head over heels for Katie through this video:

"OMG, The person who gets her will have the best dog as she is so obviously starved for affection and so willing to give it back ten fold."

"That dog doesn't have an aggressive bone in her body. She was instantly ready for you to pet her."

Her little tail wag broke my heart for what’s she’s been through but also lifted my spirits that she has a strength to survive and become a loved family member."

"It's shocking how neglected she looks but her desire to be loved is so strong. She's going to bring such joy to her forever home."

shelter dog, rescue dog, rocky kanaka, pets, dogs, stray dog Katie's potential for love is so clear. Couresty of rockykanaka.com

"I consider myself somewhat of a tough guy.... I'm from the streets, had a crazy hard life, i did 9 yrs in prison, seen it all, done it all and ain't scared of nothing... I'm telling you that because in spite all that, when i see videos like this, i start crying like a 5 yr old girl...Goes to show you that what life has done to them, we can relate, and we see it in animals that have been hurt by others and part if me wants to knock out someone that would hurt a dog or kitty like that. Animals bring out the love and compassion we've forgotten because we know they're teaching us what we definitely need to learn. What is truly considered, unconditional love...."

Not long after this video aired, Katie was rescued and will hopefully continue to get the tender care and kindness she deserves. Rocky Kanaka's work with dogs is both inspiring and informative, and he's succeeded in helping so many dogs find forever homes instead of languishing in shelters because they don't make the best first impression.

Kanaka has also started a dog rescue coffee farm in Southern California because, as he says, "Nothing's better than dogs and coffee." Isn't that the truth?

- YouTube youtu.be

You can read Katie's full story on Kanaka's website here. You can also follow Rocky Kanaka's channels on YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.