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Would you stay in a relationship with someone after learning they had a toxic political belief?

Photo by T. Chick McClure on Unsplash.

You think you know someone pretty well when you spend years with them, but, as we've seen time and again, that's not always the case. And though many relationships don't get to a point where the producers of "Who the (Bleep) Did I Marry?" start calling every day just to chat, the reality is that sometimes partners will reveal shocking things even after you thought you'd been all shocked out.

That's the case for one woman whose Reddit thread has recently gone viral. The 25-year-old, who's been with her boyfriend for five years, took to a forum for relationship advice to ask if it was normal that her seemingly cool and loving boyfriend recently revealed women shouldn't have a fundamental right. (And no, it's not abortion — although there are a lot of "otherwise best ever boyfriends" out there who want to deny women the rights to bodily autonomy, too.)

The post opens with the anonymous woman expressing that she's feeling a lot of confusion before moving into the fact that her boyfriend has gone full Gilead on her:

"In the time I have known him, my boyfriend has always fell politically independent, or so I thought," she writes. "Politics was never an issue between us at all. However he just admitted to me that over the past year he's grown more and more extreme in his views, to the point that he believes women have ruined the country (we are American) and that they should not be allowed to vote... He says he did not feel comfortable telling me about this sooner because he thought he would lose me."

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Of course, there's a caveat: The poster's boyfriend thinks she should have a right to vote. It's just all the other women that are bad. Okay. Cool. Got it.

Though some people might immediately scream "fake news," it's worth noting that men wanting to repeal women's right to vote isn't a new sentiment. In the run-up to the 2016 election, the hashtag #repealthe19th (first coined in 2011) trended with anti-women remarks and insults after FitveThirtyEight.com posted graphics showing Trump would win the election without contest if only men were allowed to vote.

But back to the Reddit post: After the anonymous woman laid out the glaring problem in her relationship, she asked whether her upset was an over-reaction. "Am I wrong to be questioning our relationship over his new beliefs? As his girlfriend am I supposed to be tolerant and respectful of his views even though I may (strongly) disagree?" she wrote.

Fortunately, other users were quick to point out it was her boyfriend that was the problem. Not just because of his views (which are gross and will likely lead to problems in the future), but because he's sexist and manipulative. Especially with that whole "Oh, honey, you can vote. You're fine. Just not your mother or sisters or aunts or friends or literally any other woman in America" business.

"My ex boyfriend who I dated for 3 years said the same thing to me. He believed women having the right to vote ruined the USA, and that he believed that women shouldn't have the right to vote (except me)," one user wrote.

"He ended up getting more misogynistic (or showing it more) as we dated and even publicly shamed me for not being able to wash dishes (I can btw, I'm Chinese and my parents didn't allow the use of dish washers so he was unnecessarily just being an asshole) when we were shopping at a supermarket and came upon a pair of gloves."

"I dated someone for 3 years who at the end of our relationship casually mentioned he didn't think the holocaust happened. I. WAS. SHOCKED," wrote another. "I too had the same feelings you are having and wasn't sure what to do. In the coming weeks though he became more and more open with his radical viewpoints and it became abundantly clear that we would never work out. It was so weird though to have someone I knew SO we'll become a stranger in a matter of weeks. If I could go back in time to when he first told me that I would have left him then and there. It would have been a lot less ugly in the long run that way."

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Other users made it clear that this was about much more than just voting. "He doesn't feel that you deserve a vote in your country's elections. Doesn't seem like much of a leap to assume he doesn't think you deserve a say in much else. I'd be out of there so fast," wrote one commenter.

Another pointed out that while the original poster might have thought this came out of the blue, it probably wasn't: "It's sudden for you, but it's not sudden for him. He's been exploring these ideas, considering them. He was aware that you would not approve, so he waited until he was completely convinced," they wrote.

"Not to mention what other things he could be keeping secret right now as well in order to avoid her judgement/ending the relationship. Thoughts like this one are rarely isolated," someone added.

"He waited until he knew she was really on the hook and would have this debate about 'losing him' and not being able to imagine him not in her life," one more user pointed out.

In the end, the woman who posted the call for advice decided that she would confront her boyfriend about his new-found viewpoints, but it's disheartening to see that the views her man's spouting are so common. Here's hoping for the best for everyone who's experienced this — and a lot of growth and reflection for those who are trying to send us back into the dark ages of civil rights.

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Meet the progressive women who won big in last night’s primaries.

The president may not have been on the ballot for these primary elections, but Trumpism certainly lost.

Progressive women — many of whom represent marginalized groups targeted by the president — won races across the South on May 22, securing slots in November's midterms. The victories further cement what many political analysts consider a growing concern for the president and his party: women running in record numbers on platforms that rebuke Trump's policies and rhetoric.

And they're winning many of their races, too.

Here are four progressive women who won big last night to keep an eye on through November.

1. Stacey Abrams, Georgia

Photo by Jessica McGowan/Getty Images.

Abrams, a former house minority leader of Georgia's General Assembly, became the first black woman to secure a major party nomination for governor in the Peach State. With a win in November, she'd be the country's first black female governor.

Georgia's increasingly purple politics means her campaign — which looked to energize both rural communities of color and younger progressives in Atlanta — has a real shot at success.

2. Lupe Valdez, Texas

Photo by Nicholas Kamm/AFP/Getty Images.

Valdez, a Democrat and former Dallas County Sheriff, uprooted the status quo with her runoff win in the Lone Star State, becoming the first Latina and openly lesbian nominee for governor in Texas.

Her platform is focused on, among many things, standing up for immigrant rights, curbing income inequality, and closing the gender wage gap.

3. Amy McGrath, Kentucky

Photo by Vivien Killilea/Getty Images for MAKERS.

McGrath, a former Marine fighter pilot and political newbie, won the Democratic primary in Kentucky's 6th District by prioritizing K-12 education, making health care affordable, and convincing rural voters she'd stand up to special interests in Washington, D.C.

4. Gina Ortiz Jones, Texas

37-year-old Jones may be making all kinds of Texas history come November. If she wins against opponent Republican Will Hurd, she stands to become the first Iraq War veteran, first lesbian, and first Filipina-American to represent Texas in Congress.

Women are running, women are winning, and herstory is being made each step of the way.

"We are writing the next chapter of Georgia's history," Abrams said in her victory speech. "Where no one is unseen, no one is unheard, and no one is uninspired."

Are you registered to vote? Make sure at USA.gov.

Of the 3.3 million Muslims in the United States, 21% are converts to Islam.

And of those approximately 693,000 converts, one of them hopes to be the U.S.’s first Muslim senator.

Deedra Abboud has faced Islamophobic attacks since she first announced her plan to run against Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake in 2017. Abboud says that while people throughout the state have been largely supportive, many questions she receives are about her faith rather than her proposed policies.

Abboud documents these interactions in the hopes of clearing up misconceptions about Muslim Americans.

All images courtesy of Deedra Abboud, used with permission.

Abboud says there are some questions regarding her beliefs that come up regularly.

In many cases, people are asking out of genuine confusion or an eagerness to learn more.

Here are answers to five common questions people ask Muslim Americans. Abboud hopes that speaking to these might help more people understand her faith — and the religion of many Americans — better.

1. “Why Islam?”

“The first thing I was told was that they [Muslims] were all going to hell because they didn’t believe in Jesus,” says Abboud, talking about what she was taught growing up in Arkansas. “Then when I went to university I saw a Middle Eastern exchange student so I was always trying to convert them to Christianity.”

Abboud remembers the Muslim students being patient with her. They explained their beliefs in a way she could understand. This led to her studying Islam extensively and her decision to ultimately convert when she moved to Arizona in 1998.

2. “How did people react to your conversion to Islam?”

“My mother was actually very supportive,” Abboud explains, adding that since she had studying Islam for years before converting, it wasn’t a surprise to most people close to her.

Her transition in the workplace, however, took time.

Abboud says that she would get ready for work in the mornings, remove her hijab (headscarf) in the parking lot when she got to work, then put it back on when she left for the day.

“The reason why I disclosed it was because I heard someone saying, ‘You know, Muslims want to kill all Americans,’” she says.

Islamaphobia is not new in America, and Abboud’s action is just one example of what Muslim Americans are doing every day to avoid persecution.

3. “Do you feel your decision to wear the hijab contradicts your stance as a feminist?”

“If a woman is forced to wear a piece of clothing, it’s oppression,” she explains, “and forcing a woman to wear something or forcing a woman to not wear something are equal on the oppression scale.”

Abboud continues:

4. “But isn’t Islam oppressive to women?”

Abboud is quick to point out that oppression of women happens everywhere, regardless of religion. Her faith is not what mistreats or limits women — it’s other people who use faith as an excuse for their behavior.

“My dad beat my mom, and when she went to the church, they told her to be a better wife,” she says. “When she went to her dad, he told her to be a better wife. When she went to the police, they said be a better wife.”

Abboud explains that while there are some cultures in predominantly Muslim areas that are oppressive to women, many Muslim countries have elected women as their prime minister or president, including Indonesia, Pakistan, and Turkey. (Can you say the same about the U.S.?)

5. “You worked for CAIR — isn’t that a terrorist organization?”

CAIR, or the Council on American-Islam Relations, is a Muslim civil rights and advocacy group that formed in 1994 as a reaction to negative depictions of Muslims in the media. Despite its status as a nonprofit, critics have accused CAIR of being a terrorist organization affiliated with Hamas and the Muslim Brotherhood.

“I just don’t understand,” Abboud says. “If it’s supposedly a terrorist organization, how it does it continue to have nonprofit status in several states and has survived every administration for the last almost 30 years?”

Abboud started the Arizona chapter of CAIR in 2001, shortly before 9/11.

Traveling for her campaign gives Abboud the chance to clear up misconceptions about Islam, but she’s happy when voters just want to talk about the issues.

“Most people actually do want to talk about things that matter,” she says, “you know, like not dying from poor health care, protecting the internet, basic freedom issues — things [that] actually affect their lives,” she says.

It’s a great shift and is evidence progress is being made, even if slowly.

Oregon's Kate Brown is the nation's first (and only) openly LGBTQ person to be elected governor.

After being involuntarily outed by the local newspaper in a story about LGBTQ legislators in the early 1990s, Brown came out as bisexual to her family (who told her it would be easier if she were a lesbian); her gay and straight friends (who called her "half-queer" and "indecisive" respectfully); and her colleagues in the state legislature (one of whom took the news as an opportunity to hit on her).

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

The responses Brown received after coming out are disappointing but sadly unsurprising considering that bisexuality is often a source of jokes, confusion, needless ridicule, and — worst — complete erasure.

Bisexuality deserves a place in the conversation when it comes to the greater needs, challenges, and resources of the LGBTQ community. Bisexual+ Awareness Week — the plus includes people who identify as queer, pansexual, fluid, or without labels at all — aims to do just that with articles, events, hashtags (#biweek), and conversations that celebrate and center bisexual+ people.

Brown joined Texas Rep. Mary Gonzalez and Wisconsin Rep. JoCasta Zamarripa for a conversation on Twitter about legislating while bisexual+.

Hosted by GLAAD and the Victory Institute, the hourlong event featured questions on topics ranging from role models to policy. It's clear these three leaders work hard for their state and districts while pushing back against bisexual erasure and discrimination.

Here are seven of their many thoughtful responses and advice for bisexual people (or frankly anyone in an underrepresented group) thinking about running for office:

1. When it comes to building community, it starts with representation.

Recent studies show that people who identify as bisexual may make up as much as half the LGBTQ community, but less than 30% are out to those closest to them. To dismantle stereotypes and to help others feel safe enough to live openly, increased visibility of those who are out is vital.

2. Having the support of the LGBTQ community and allies remains important, particularly with President Donald Trump's threatening policy decisions.

Bisexual people can be black, white, disabled, cis, trans, or nonbinary too. Recognizing and honoring that intersectionality is vital.

3. More bisexual people should consider running for public office.

"No more 'bi-erasure.' We are here. We are proud," Zamarripa tweeted with an additional message:

If the rights and liberties of the LGBTQ community are at risk, then LGBTQ people and our allies must be in the conversation to speak up and preserve them.

4. While making the decision to be a leader — political or otherwise — can be scary, there are plenty of organizations and political leaders available to help get you started.

Consider reaching out to the Victory Institute, Emily's List, or She Should Run for resources in your community.

5. Need a little encouragement? Gonzalez recommended some books to get folks started.

Gonzalez looks to queer women of color for inspiration. Here are five more to keep your nightstand crowded.

6. Gonzalez also had a few words of inspiration.

7. But get out there and leave your mark. Because the world needs your voice now more than ever.

You never know who's admiring your work or looking up to you. In a series of tweets after the chat, Brown wrote (emphasis added):

Brown, then an Oregon senator, hugs former state Rep. George Eighmey after Gov. Ted Kulongoski signed two bills protecting gay rights into law. Photo by Craig Mitchelldyer/Getty Images.

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Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights

The world has one more woman leader thanks to a historic election in Tokyo.

On Aug. 1, 2016, Tokyo made history by electing Yuriko Koike, its first female governor.

Koike is a groundbreaking political veteran with cabinet experience who ran for a head of state position in 2008. Sound familiar?

Tokyo is with her. Photo by Kazuhiro Nogi/AFP/Getty Images.

Not only was this a big win for her (she defeated her closest opponent by over a million votes), but it's also a huge win for Tokyo, a city that doesn't have the greatest track record on women's rights.

"Hillary used the word 'glass ceiling,'" Koike said in 2008. "But in Japan, it isn't glass, it's an iron plate."

This isn't Koike's first tussle with that iron plate. She served previously as Tokyo's first female defense chief and launched a campaign in 2008 to become Japan's first woman prime minister.

When it comes to politics, the first thing on Koike's to-do list is making Tokyo better for women.

She wants to overcome the massive childcare shortages plaguing the city, and enact policies that ensure "both women and men can shine in Tokyo."

Koike drinking tea with former Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi. Photo by Kiyoshi Ota/Getty Images.

She's also made a point of praising other female world leaders, including Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, and most recently, Tsai Ing-wen, Taiwan's newly-elected female president.

Koike is a vocal critic of North Korea and a green candidate with a focus on the environment. She served as Japan's environment minister from 2003 to 2005, where she took creative approaches to energy conservation, such as a widely adopted program encouraging male businessmen not to wear suit jackets to work (so that office air conditioners could be comfortably turned down.)

She also cosplayed once as Sally the Witch, which is just kind of awesome:

Among her biggest responsibilities as governor will be helping to shape up Tokyo's 2020 Olympic hosting duties, which are currently wrapped in multiple corruption scandals.

Like any politician, she's not without a few controversial opinions.

Most notably, she was endorsed by the Japanese Society for History Textbook Reform, an organization that seeks to revise history textbooks by downplaying Japan's involvement in war crimes and human trafficking during WWII.

In an op-ed voicing her support for textbook reform, she claimed that shifting national focus away from the antagonisms of the past would help avoid the wars of the future. It's a nice sentiment, but there's just something about George Santayana's quote, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it," that rings just a bit truer.

Photo by Kazuhiro Nogi/AFP/Getty Images.

When she takes office, Koike will be one of only three women serving in a gubernatorial position in Japan.

Currently, only about 12% of parliament seats in Japan are held by women. And according to the Global Gender Gap Report, the country is ranked 101 out of 145 in terms of gender equality.

That's why her victory is so important. Change doesn't happen instantly, it happens one step at a time, one election at a time, one vote at a time. When women are in politics and are elected to prominent positions of power, the world sees the benefits.

Koike with Yukari Sato and Kuniko Inoguchi, two other female lawmakers in Tokyo. Photo by Yoshikazu Tsuno/AFP/Getty Images.

Science agrees. When women are elected, gender gaps close, productivity increases, and most importantly, the world gets female role models — which leads to more women in politics and positions of power.

Now, millions of women and men in Tokyo, are living in a city that has one more female leader. She may not be perfect, and she may not solve all of Tokyo's problems, but no candidate is or could. What's important is that she's the first, and she won't be the last. Not to mention, the neat thing about barriers is they never become unbroken.