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Body Image

A person recently told me I was 'too short.' I finally thought of the perfect response.

"If you're looking for a superstar, start looking down."

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A tall man and a shorter woman.

With every Facebook or Instagram ad, it can often feel like we're constantly being told that a beauty standard exists and none of are living up to it. "Drink THIS to get slimmer, eat THAT to gain muscles." It's exhausting and can truly do a number on self-esteem from an early age.

In Psychology Today's article "Words have Weight: the Many Forms of Body Shaming" author Alice E. Schluger, Ph.D. poses the question, "When was the last time you looked in the mirror and admired your reflection? We are bombarded with images of perfect bodies on TV, in magazines, and all over social media. In our weight-conscious culture, physical appearance often overrides health considerations."

But what if we could simply deny those societally-imposed "standards," and start writing a script where we (gasp) actually love our bodies? The thing is, we totally can.

This was recently put to the test for me in terms of height. "Fun-sized," is what they used to say in college. I'm five foot two and, frankly, I never gave it much thought. Not too long ago, however, I was meeting a friend's 27-year-old daughter for the first time. Upon seeing me, in heels, she exclaimed, "My dad didn't mention you were SO SHORT. You're too short."

I was taken aback. I was stunned. I don't think she meant it nefariously per se. But it felt so strange because I walk around all day in my body without thinking about my inches. For someone to fixate on it and scream it to me? Well, that felt odd.

reese witherspoon, shortness, short celebs, body shaming Reese Witherspoon saying "No." Giphy

Sure, there were "clap-backs" with which I could have replied. From the subreddit r/Comebacks, there are tons of choices, the most scathing of which might be, "I can see all your chins from here." The issue with hitting them where it hurts is you're perpetuating the cycle of shame and, frankly, becoming the very bully who's hurting you to begin with. The old adage "Hurt people hurt people" is so true, and if we recognize it before we do it, we can be part of the solution rather than the problem.

The key is to reframe what being short even means. For many, it's not negative in the slightest. While many memes will tell us how important it is to embrace body positivity, it's nice when it comes from external sources too. The more positive representation for every body type, the better. So what I wish I'd said is, "Yeah. Like Lady Gaga. And Reese Witherspoon and Ariana Grande and Salma Hayek and Scarlett Johansson and Quinta Brunson and Sabrina Carpenter. The list goes on." Or, in going back to the Reddit thread, there were lots of sweet ways to own my inches proudly without lashing back. My favorite—and what I wish I'd said, "So the worst thing about me is that there isn't MORE of me?"

Quinta Brunson hosts SNL and sings about being short. www.youtube.com, Saturday Night Live, NBC

Short men have also been an inspiration on this topic lately. Being short for guys has been challenging in years past. Just recently, a few online dating sites made the news for allowing height to be filtered, resulting in some shorter men getting pushed out of the algorithm. (In an Upworthy story, Evan Porter humorously suggests more sensible filters than height, such as "Can the person spell?")

Tom Cruise, short king, celebrities, mission impossible, short Tom Cruise in a scene from Mission: Impossible Giphy

However, there has been a clear turn in body positivity for shorter men. Articles like "5 Reasons Short Guys Make the Best Husbands" from Your Tango note that shorter men, on average, live longer. And, as mentioned, there's more representation in the media. Notoriously, Tom Cruise showed the world what a short king could do. Couples like Tom Holland, photographed beautifully with his much taller fiancé Zendaya, are giving men the much-deserved confidence boost some really need.

Just a couple of years ago, an opinion piece ran in The New York Times called "There Has Never Been a Better Time to be Short." Among many claims, writer Mara Altman notes, "Short people don’t just save resources, but as resources become scarcer because of overpopulation and global warming, they may be best suited for long-term survival.”

Comedian Dan Toomey (@Dhtoomey on TikTok) has some fun with the article as a short king himself:

@dhtoomey

Breaking news, short kings #news #short #nyc #dating

At the end of the day, it's not about being short or tall or thin or fat. It's about challenging beauty norms and embracing our wonderous, unique bodies that house our hearts and lungs and bones. Ya know, those organs that keep us breathing and alive. Oprah Winfrey's advice on the matter is perfection:

"Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others."




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They are gay. They are Muslim. They are proud.

Every year, Pride serves as an opportunity to celebrate inclusivity, tolerance, and acceptance in the LGBTQ community.

Photo by Chris J Ratcliffe/Getty Images.

For queer Muslims, Pride month is all the more special.

Since traditionalist views of Islam consider homosexuality a sin, it's a common myth that you can't be both queer and Muslim. But every year, tons of practicing Muslims who identify as queer come out and engage in self-affirmation of their complex, intersecting identities.

If there's one thing that Pride month's proved so far, it's that being LGBTQ and Muslim are not mutually exclusive.

Now more than ever, Muslim-American citizens are rallying together to support the LGBTQ people within their community.

A recent study revealed that 51% of Muslim-Americans support marriage equality, according to the May 2018 Public Religion Research Institute study. This is a huge leap from four years ago, when that same percentage were opposed. To put numbers into comparison, according to the study's findings, marriage equality is opposed by 58% of white evangelical Christians and 53% of Mormons.

Queer Islamic scholars and imams have also risen to prominence. Daaiyee Abdullah, based in Washington, D.C., is one of the eight openly gay imams in the world. He is known to offer religious services to Muslim LGBTQ members who have been turned away or cast out from the community.

LGBTQ Muslim representation in entertainment is on the rise, with Tan France's prominent role in "Queer Eye," "The Bold Type's" lesbian character Adena El Amin (played by Nikohl Boosheri), and Mahershala Ali's starring role in "Moonlight."

Plus, several prominent non-queer Muslims that have come forward in support for LGBTQ rights. Reza Aslan, an Iranian-American public intellectual, and comedian Hasan Minhaj penned an open letter urging Muslim-Americans to stand against anti-gay bigotry and support marriage equality. Meanwhile, Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar, our country's first Somali-American legislator, marched in her local Pride parade.

Despite this outpouring of visibility, queer Muslims face discrimination at every turn.

Laws in many Muslim-majority countries are influenced by these religiously driven homophobic beliefs. Same-gender marriage is often not only illegal, but being queer can warrant prison time or even death. These threats keep many Muslims in the closet.

In the U.S., with the sweeping tide of Islamophobia, the "not-a-Muslim-ban" Muslim ban, and an administration adamant on rolling back LGBTQ rights, queer Muslims' safety is constantly at risk.

These realities are daunting. But the swell of support during Pride of religious tolerance and LGBTQ acceptance proves that progress is being made.

If all people can set aside differences and see each other as fully human, the future will be bright.

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She ditched a 9-5 to act. Now she's starring in 'Crazy Rich Asians.' Here's her story.

When Tan Kheng Hua was offered the role of Kerry Chu in "Crazy Rich Asians," she didn't hesitate to accept it.

Though the Singaporean actress has certainly made a name for herself on big screens in southeastern Asia, the opportunity to act in a major U.S. film — a historic film at that — was a unparalleled opportunity.

"Did we honestly have to wait so long for an all-Asian Hollywood film to come out?" Tan asks me during our candid interview.

All images courtesy of "Crazy Rich Asians"/Warner Bros.

"Crazy Rich Asians" is the first Hollywood film to feature a predominately Asian cast in more than 20 years.

Based on the beloved book, "Crazy Rich Asians" follows Rachel Chu and Nick Young through a meet-the-parents summer in Singapore. Unbeknownst to Rachel, though, the parents she's meeting are excessively wealthy and raised her boyfriend in a literal castle. Helping her navigate this unexpected terrain is her fierce and firm mom, Kerry.

The character Kerry Chu.

Kerry Chu is the opposite of the overbearing, only-grades-matter Asian tropes usually shown in U.S. film and television.

Kerry offers a refreshing and not-typically-seen representation of balanced parenting, something that reminded Tan of raising her own children.

"My relationship with my daughter is very similar to the one that Carrie has with Rachel in that verbal communication is a tool," she explains. "We talk to each other, we verbalize feelings, we express our wants and needs of each other. And this verbal communication is something that I consider is actually very Western. And my own parents who are very [stereotypically] Asian brought me up in a completely different way and in a very Asian way."

Tan further explains her definition of parenting "the Asian Way," saying:

"As a child I was expected to do a lot of housework and expected to come home every day at dinner time and have a meal and to sit down at the table with my entire family. Let me just tell you, I love my parents to death. They are the best parents in the world. But, times have changed ... and contemporary Western culture has changed many of the traditional Asian ways of a leading life."

As a former marketing professional, Tan's dedication to excellence and bucking the status quo has been a decades-long endeavor.

"I went to Indiana University at Bloomington and I got myself a Bachelor of Science, but in my heart, I'd always loved the arts," she says. "I loved my job, don't get me wrong. I was also good at it. But I thought to myself,  'I have devoted most of the hours of my day to this corporate job and devoted also a large portion of my time to my passion — which was acting — and I've got enough money saved up. Why don't I try to just see what it feels like to wake up in the morning and to be a indulging this passion for acting for the whole day?'"

Since that decision, Tan has appeared in a number of films and shows, such as her role as Margaret Phua in "Phua Chu Kang Pte Ltd," Ali Tan in "Cages," and the Empress Dowager in "Marco Polo."

But now, she's stepped into another world in "Crazy Rich Asians."

Tan joins a cast that hails from Malaysia, Taiwan, and Singapore, nodding to the diversity inherent of Asian identities.

As a supporting actress in the highly anticipated film, Tan has been surrounded by a work energy that she hasn't seen in her career, largely because the people that play the characters actually reflect the characters in the book.

"What matters is that a group of people are coming together," Tan says. "A group of people who have immense talent, at all levels, from all over the world coming together to tell this story that was so beautifully put together and a story about culture that I am a part of, that I feel has never been told."

And as for the future? Tan dreams of one where it doesn't take nearly 30 years for another all-Asian film to be greenlit by Hollywood.

"I would like audiences to look at 'Crazy Rich Asians' and to enjoy the movie and to see how good it is," she says, "and hopefully one day just be able to just look at pieces of work and just say, 'Oh wow, it was good. It's so well-made. It's so funny.' And [I want people to] not just keep dividing the world into races and faiths. I would also like everybody to see talent — and not just for my own country — but from around the world."

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These trans artists reveal the first time they truly felt represented in TV and film.

A new TV series is helping spread the word about why representation in entertainment matters.

Identifying with characters onscreen is a privilege many people take for granted. That kind of representation is vital — but it's not something everyone is lucky enough to experience.

"First Time I Saw Me," a new series of videos from Netflix and GLAAD, features eight transgender artists sharing the first time they felt represented in TV and film.

Seeing people we relate to onscreen makes us feel like full members of society, while seeing people different from us helps us overcome stereotypes and fear of the unknown.

"When it comes to transgender characters, we need more of them," said Nick Adams, director of transgender media at GLAAD. "But then we need to improve the quality of them."

For people in underrepresented communities, greater inclusion also means stories and characters that move beyond surface descriptions and stereotypical tropes. "I would love to get to the point where there's a transgender character on a show and literally nothing about their storyline has anything to do with them being trans," said actor Elliot Fletcher.

The artists featured in "First Time I Saw Me" said that getting there means breaking down the barriers to entry and including more trans people in auditions, the writing process, and behind-the-camera work like directing and producing. Telling more authentic stories means involving those people directly in the creative process.

"If you want to create an authentic trans experience on film, involve trans people," actor Jamie Clayton said.

Greater inclusion makes for better stories that more people can enjoy and identify with.

We've seen great strides made in recent years, including in the portrayal of transgender characters.

"Having this kind of representation of different types of people allows us to complicate human experience for other people," said writer and trans advocate Tiq Milan. "That's the starting point, when people start to see trans people as complex individuals."

There's still a lot of work to be done, but the good news is that audiences have been responding well to greater representation.

Diversifying our media is not only the right thing to do — it also results in more interesting and diverse storytelling.  

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