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Woman in hysterics after learning why her Hinge date thought she was 'blind'

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, are you blind?"

A woman laughing at her computer.

Online dating is full of pitfalls. People can be picky and superficial, and if you can set up a date, you’re lucky if they look like the person in the picture. As if that weren’t enough, when you’re communicating over an app, there can be a lot of misunderstandings.

Becky_cxx, a woman in England who is very candid about her dating life on TikTok, had a hilarious misunderstanding with a potential suitor, and many understand how the mix-up happened from her photos. "You ain't gonna believe this," Becky began her video. "Some guy has just messaged me on Hinge saying, 'Sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, are you blind?'" Becky said, totally blown away by the assumption. “What do you mean, ‘Am I blind?’”

@becky_cxx

I am dead 💀 🤣🤣🤣😅😭 #fup #fyp #foruyou #foryoupage #funny #relatable #dating #hinge

The man gave a pretty solid reason why he made that assumption. "A few reasons. But the main one is I thought that was a stick in your second-to-last photo,” the man said, referencing a photo that Becky took by a bridge where she appears to be holding a white cane, or a stick, as the English say.

"Let me show you the picture," she said. "It's London Bridge. That is a light, not a white stick.” It’s clear from the photo that she is standing next to a light resembling the white cane a blind person would use. The bright light also looks a bit like she’s holding a lightsaber, which would be great if she were into dating nerds.

In a follow-up video, Becky shared the other reasons he thought she may be blind, and he’s not wrong. She is wearing very large sunglasses in one photo, and in the others, she doesn’t look at the camera. Becky insists they are meant to be candid, but that doesn’t help her case. It is totally reasonable, from her photos, to think that she is visually impaired.

@becky_cxx

Time for a refresh x #fup #foru #foruyou #foryoupage #funny #relatable #funnytiktok.

The man’s mistake made Becky rethink her experience on Hinge. Could her photos have turned off countless men who weren’t ready to date someone who is blind? "I've got a complex. Do I look...Have I made myself look like something I'm not? I don't know. Is this why I'm getting no matches? I can't believe it, honestly. Is this my sign to just delete? I'm lost for words, genuinely," she said.

The sweet part is that the man didn’t mind whether she was blind or not. “Of course, it wouldn't be a problem if you were,” he wrote. This alone is reason enough to consider going out on a date with him.

Given the picture, many people thought that the man was right to assume that she used a cane to walk. "I’m sorry, but the reason he gave was valid," the most popular commenter wrote. "Now you’ve shown the photo, I can’t unsee it," another added. Another thought the fact he noticed the potential cane was a green flag. "I cackled. At least he bothered looking at your profile, and he’s perceptive," they wrote.

More

There are blind doctors, lawyers, and athletes. It's time more workplaces caught up.

If the first thing you think of when you hear 'blind person' is all the things they can't do, this campaign is for you.

True
Perkins School for the Blind

There are more than 23 million people who are blind or have experienced vision loss in the United States and Canada.

They are doctors, lawyers, and professional athletes. They're actors, writers, and daredevils. They love skiing, dancing, and watching movies.

Check out this moving video about ways that blind or visually-impaired people are challenging misconceptions:


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There's also an audio-described version of the video here.

While being blind or vision-impaired has little bearing on people's ability to do many jobs, it does affect their ability to get a job in the first place.

Fred LeBlanc knows this all too well.

LeBlanc is the star of a PSA created by the Canadian National Institute for the Blind (CNIB). After 29 years working as a firefighter, he began to lose his sight in 2011. A diagnosis of legal blindness followed soon after. In an interview with the CNIB, he talked about how his diagnosis made him doubt his abilities to remain in the workforce:

"I questioned myself. If I struggled with everyday tasks, how was I going to lead a fulfilling career?”

With the support of the CNIB and other blind workers, LeBlanc found his confidence. He decided to run for the position of 13th District vice president with the International Association of Fire Fighters, a job he still holds.

"I thought 'why can’t I do what I set out to do?' I had to tell myself 'don’t be silly, this is not your fault, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,'" he told CNIB.

‌There's plenty of room at the table for blind workers — as long as we give them the chance. Image via iStock. ‌

In Canada, about 60% of people of working age are employed. That number drops to just 32% for the visually-impaired. Similarly, according to the latest data from the U.S. Bureau of Labour Statistics, only about a third of working-age Americans with visual impairments or blindness were employed in September 2016.

Diane Bergeron, the executive director of CNIB, says that's not for lack of trying. In an interview with the Toronto Star last month, she relayed her frustrations, saying, "We go out, we get an education and then we come out of education and when we want a job there’s no job to be had."

According to the CNIB, creating a workplace that is inclusive and welcoming for blind and sighted workers isn't as daunting as it might seem.

‌A man reads on his tablet. Substituting printed correspondence for digital is one easy way to make a workplace more accommodating for people who are visually-impaired. Image via iStock. ‌

Jim Lee, Chief of Staff to the General President, International Association of Fire Fighters, is Fred LeBlanc's boss at the IAFF. For him, working with Fred is a mind-opening experience.

Prior to working with LeBlanc, Lee had no experience interacting with someone who is blind or partially sighted. Lee quickly saw firsthand that LeBlanc's abilities didn't change, even though his vision did. "Unless he tells you, you wouldn't know that Fred has vision loss," Lee told the CNIB. "His abilities didn't change at all."

To accommodate his colleague's vision loss, Lee and his team made minor adjustments to their workplace. Rather than printing hard copies, they focus on email correspondence. Documents use an off-white background to provide easier visual contrast.

Realizing how little things needed to change helped Lee understand that vision impairment doesn't mean workers needed to exit or stay out of the workforce.

"People with visual impairments have a lot to offer," said LeBlanc. "They just need the opportunity to prove that. Employers have to give them a chance to come in and show what they can do. A lot of employers would be amazed."

It would be easy to tell a story about blindness that focuses on depressing statistics around working or employment. After all, there are a lot.

‌A doctor and a patient look at a computer screen. A more inclusive workplace benefits everyone. Image via iStock. ‌

But the real power is in flipping that story to one of empowerment. Whether they choose to become athletes, artists, or professionals, individuals who are blind can and do lead rich, fulfilling lives, like anyone else. It's time to elevate the work experiences of people like Fred LeBlanc and remind everyone that blind workers can thrive in whatever career they desire — when employers give them the chance.

Andy woke up with no sight and a tube down his throat.

On Sept. 28, 2011, an unknown person assaulted Andy. The attack knocked him unconscious, and when he woke up, he couldn't see anymore. The assault had damaged his optic nerve.

"I thought to myself, 'Hah. Whatever. You'll just open me up, reattach the wires and lights come back on again,'" recalls Andy. But that wasn't going to happen. "[The doctor] put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'I'm sorry, Andy.'"


Over time, Andy adjusted to losing his sight. But it wasn't easy.

More than 7 million American adults are blind or have a visual disability and it doesn't necessarily have to be a sad thing. But for Andy, losing his sight was difficult.

"The hardest thing for me being completely blind is not seeing my family every day," says Andy. "For me to learn to accept, 'You're never going to see again, Andy. You're never going to see your wife, your children, your dog.' Taken away in the blink of an eye. It's not fair."

But then the doctor said he might know something that could help.

There's a weird device out there called the BrainPort. It lets people see with their tongues. Yeah — their tongues. The device has three parts: a small camera, an iPhone-sized computer, and a weird half-spatula/half-lollipop-looking thing.

Using it is pretty simple: The camera and computer capture an image, then send it as a pattern of buzzes to the lollipop, which the person puts in their mouth (the buzzes apparently feel kind of like Pop Rocks candy.)

A buzzing lollipop sounds pretty weird, but it does seem to work.

Our brains are actually pretty good at figuring out how to use new information (it also helps that our tongues are incredibly sensitive, as anyone who's accidentally bitten theirs can tell you). It took a little while for Andy to get used to the buzzing sensation, but not that long.

"I felt this buzzing on my tongue, and I felt the impression. And then I saw my hand. For the first time in five years, I saw my hand," Andy explains. "Something that small is huge."

If certain studies are correct, Andy's brain could have processed the signals in his vision centers, as if the information was coming from his eyes themselves.

Seeing his hand must have been big. But not as big as seeing his family again.

"The first person was [my son] little Andy. He shook his hand back and forth and he said, 'Dad, you can see me?'" says Andy. You could see the emotion in his face. "He said, 'Hey, pop.'"

"It had been five years since I've seen my kids," Andy says. "It's incredible."

Watch Andy's story below: