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Man asks married men their biggest marriage regret, they deliver.

Not everyone wants to get married, but for those that do, marriage is considered one big 'final' step in a relationship. It's something that people think about from the time they can grasp the concept of relationships. When you factor that in with the high divorce rate, it makes sense that people want to ensure they're getting it right before taking the leap.

Typically, people ask their close inner circle for relationship advice. Leaning on people like their parents, siblings or friends who have been married to fill in the gaps of knowledge. However, with the world becoming smaller than ever due to social media, it takes little effort to gather collective knowledge from thousands of people within your target audience.

Surprisingly, people are pretty forthcoming to strangers on the internet looking for support and help. One man who goes by the name King Boiza decided to ask his internet advisors, "Married men, what is your greatest regret about marriage? Advise the single boys. It could be about anything." The married men didn't hesitate to answer the call in the most genuinely wholesome way.

divorce, marriage, biggest marriage regret, reasons for divorce, married couple, married man, marriage A happily married couple.via Canva/Photos

Gleaning collective wisdom from those more experienced than you is a common practice, but being able to do it in such a significant way is relatively new. Different life experiences lead to different perspectives that can be invaluable to someone still learning.

The advice provided ranged from warnings to what could be seen as universal truths about marriage.

"Your wife becomes the words you speak upon her, I regret not speaking life and good upon her," one man shares.

"In times of trouble, remember...It's not you against her but the both of you, against the problem...," someone writes.

"Listen when she speaks from the heart, once she feels unheard, she will be closed off for a long time if not forever," another advises.

"Not all women age gracefully with all their good looks and physique. Marry her for more reasons beyond her body and beauty. Seek a FOREVER," one commenter says.

"The grass is NEVER greener on the other side. NEVER," a man wrote.

"Don’t let the family you come from destroy the family you create," a commenter added.

"Be the partner you're looking for!" a man wrote.

"The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together," a married man wrote.

"Remember that you are not married to your idea of your wife but to who your wife is. Love her for who is she is not who you want her to be," one man commented.

"No regrets, just advice I’ve adhered to for 15+years of marriage. Lead by example. Create the emotional space for her that you want mirrored. Set boundaries and always keep your word above all else!" a commenter wrote.

"Sometimes all you have to do is listen to her," a man wrote.

divorce, marriage, biggest marriage regret, reasons for divorce, wedding, pastor, reverend, marriage vows A couple getting married.via Canva/Photos

Forbes reports that 43% of first marriages end in divorce with the number significantly increasing with each subsequent marriage. Finding out the regrets, struggles and triumphs of other marriages may help others feel more prepared to commit to marriage with a bit of a roadmap laid in front of them.

It's clear from the comments under the post that marriage takes work and while some of the men admittedly misstepped, they seem eager to share with others so they avoid the same mistakes.

"My biggest regret in marriage was to cheat, and I'm telling you...my wife was never the same...so my advice is never cheat, never ever," one guy confesses.


divorce, marriage, biggest marriage regret, reasons for divorce, marriage advice, single men, marriage questions Kingboiza asks men about marriage.www.tiktok.com


"We tend to take our spouse for granted once we get married. Continue to invest your time in her. You won't regret it and she'll know that you really see her," one man shares.

But it wasn't only men who dropped by the comment section. Women stopped to share their appreciation for the wisdom being left for all to see.

"After reading this comment section, my faith in the institution of marriage is restored. Relationships are not perfect, but we gotta try with people who want to try," one woman writes.

"I don't know why I'm crying...I guess I never knew men like these existed...Your wives must be blessed," another woman shares.

If you need a dose of healthy masculinity and wholesome advice for lasting partnerships, look no further than that comment section. They're saving some future couple from heartache by simply showing up to answer a stranger's question on the internet.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Friendship

"It's you who keep me going": 81-year-old writes heartfelt text to his softball teammates

The younger team had no idea how much it meant to the man to be included in the league, and now we're all sobbing.

Sam Evanz/TikTok

81-year-old writes heartfelt text message to younger softball teammates in middle of the night.

It's not been a particularly great week on the Internet. No, scratch that—month. Actually, come to think of it, the last few years haven't been amazing. There's bad news everywhere we look. Divisiveness. Arguing. Violence.

Maybe that's why this small story of kindness and hope is resonating so deeply with everyone who comes across it. It's a simple story of people being good to one another, and that's what we need right now more than ever.

A mom named Sam Evanz occasionally shares updates about her husband's local softball team on TikTok. Recently, she posted an incredibly heartfelt message the team received from one of their teammates. The teammate just so happens to be an 81-year-old man.

Evanz's husband is on a 15-player casual team in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. One of the players is 81-year-old Nelson Bradbury. The oldest on the team by a solid margin, Bradbury recently took the chance to tell the guys just how much he appreciated the opportunity to play with them, even though he may not be the best athlete out there anymore.

"Well guys , just up to do my middle of the night pee. I have been laying in bed for the past half hour thinking about tonight's game and thinking about the great bunch of guys I am allowed to play with," the long text message begins, coming through at approximately 2:30 a.m.

"I really appreciate the way you guys treat me as an equal and not just an old fart. ... It's all of you who keep me going and give me the reason to get out of bed in the morning."

You'll just have to read the whole thing in Evanz's post to fully appreciate Bradbury's gratitude and contagious sense of humor.

TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com


Evanz was stunned when her post went massively viral, racking up nearly 15 million views as of this writing.

"The response has been pretty incredible!" she tells Upworthy, saying multiple international media outlets picked up the story including a sports reporter in Italy.

Commenters on the post were overwhelmed with appreciation for Bradbury. And, in an instant, fiercely protective of him.

"EVERYONE BETTER HAVE TEXTED BACK"

"AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BETTER HAVE TOLD HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO THE TEAM!"

"he’s been thinking this for a while but was scared to say it and i’m so glad he did. now if they didn’t respond we’re riding at dusk cause dawn is too far away."

"It’s just a game to you but for him it’s the reasons he gets up everyday"

The Philadelphia Eagles official TikTok account even chimed in: "Being a teammate is a special thing."

Nelson Bradbury stans will be happy to know that his teammates appreciated the message just as much as the rest of us do. Many of them wrote back the next morning, according to an update posted by Evanz.

"Glad to have ya you old fart!!!" one joked.

"You may not know this but it's your example that keeps a lot of us older... oops... mature players going," another said.

You can see a picture of the whole squad here:

team, community, softball, men, sports, friends TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com


The famous quote from playwright George Bernard Shaw says, "We don't stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing."

Never has the quote been more fitting. Friendship, community, and even play are things all of us humans need. We only need it more as we age. Loneliness reduces our lifespan, while friendship improves not only our longevity but our happiness and quality of life. It may be a simple softball league, but it means a lot to the men who participate, and especially to Bradbury.

Bradbury has a terrific outlook on his life and on how he hopes to spend the rest of his days, of which there are hopefully many. Evanz says that Bradbury is having fun with all the viral attention, and he has even joined TikTok himself so he can keep up with all the mayhem.

"I don't know if I will get another year in the league or not," he writes in the original message. "Shit, I don't buy GREEN bananas any more. But I do know, this will be the year of ball play I will remember."

Jonah Berger explains how appealing to someone's identity makes them more likely to agree to a request.

Human psychology really isn't that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

A woman shocked at what she sees on the wall of her new apartment

Cultural differences can be incredibly subtle. There has been a lot of fun chatter online about how Americans are different from Europeans in many ways. The most often cited differences are that Americans are incredibly friendly (to everyone), love to carry massive bottles of water with them everywhere, and have very loud voices. There are also differences when it comes to their homes. Americans love having large refrigerators, stocking up on groceries, and buying in bulk. Europeans tend to favor regular trips to the store and have a small fridge.

Author Willow Heath of Scotland recently added another thing to the list in her viral TikTok. She explains the confusion she experienced when moving into an apartment where an American couple previously lived.

“Question for all the Americans out there. I have just moved into a new place here in Scotland, and previously, this flat was lived in by an American couple,” Health said. “I showed my friend who now lives in L.A. a curious thing about this flat, and they said, ‘Oh yeah, yeah, it's an American thing.' And the thing I'm talking about is hooks.”

Heath then shared all of the hooks she found in the apartment that were not removed after the couple left.

@willowtalksbooks

Do Americans love hooks? #usa #uk

Heath also noted there was a lazy Susan in the refrigerator that she had never seen before. “I've never seen this before. It's actually really cool,” she said, playing with the rotating plastic tray… “It turns around so you can get at things that are at the back so you don't have to reach all the way to the back … my friend said this is also an American thing,” she added.

Some Americans returned fire at Heath by asking why people in the UK don’t have hooks throughout their homes. “Is everything on the floor in Scotland?” one asked. “That couple was so nice to leave all their hooks for you,” another added. One American stood strong on their hook use: “American living in England, their lack of home organizing is astounding to me.”

Another American referenced the current UK versus U.S. realization that Robbie Williams, the subject of the critically acclaimed movie Better Man about a rockstar chimp, is massively popular across the pond and virtually unknown in America. “Are British people spending so much time listening to Robbie Williams they don’t know what hooks are?” a commenter joked.

One commenter, most likely in the UK, blamed the excessive number of hooks on American consumer culture. “We don't buy random stuff, so no need to hang everything, Americans hoard everything,” they noted.

It might be worth noting that even though Americans have a fervent love of wall hooks, they can't exactly take credit for the idea. That honor, as with so many timeless innovations, belongs to the ancient Egyptians. Then during the Industrial Revolution, the rise of urban cities and middle class families demand more home furnishing that nailed both form and function. Luckily that demand was able to be made with the mass production of various metal items. And now, hooks are a home staple that also reflects certain cultural aesthetics—from the minimalist design of Japanese hooks to ornate, colorful Mediterranean renditions. Scotland must have just missed the memo.

scotland, wall hooks, living in america, home decor, cultural differences, culture A rustic style of wall hooksPhoto credit: Canva

At the end of the video, Heath shared that she wasn’t putting Americans down; she just never realized how much they like hanging things from hooks. “I'm not saying they're not useful, and I spent time in the States. I lived in upstate New York for a few months,” Heath said. “I like the U.S., I like Americans, I'm not attacking you … I just think this is an interesting cultural difference, hooks everywhere.” The good news for Heath is that nobody took the hooks down, so she may learn why Americans love them so much. As for Robbie Williams, not so much.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.