Communication expert shares 3 simple 'power moves' to not take criticism personally
“If I hear something that’s offensive, I’ll be like ‘okay, that’s trash.’ In my mind, I grab it with my right hand…and throw it.”
Standing your ground in a peaceful way is possible.
Even the most skilled small talkers among us might struggle when receiving negative feedback that feels like a personal attack. The temptation to fight back or stonewall is understandably strong. Our darker emotions become ignited, which sets off rejection stories in our mind before any clear thinking can take place.
The result: we dish out the same energy we’re given. Or, we shut down completely. Either way, we don’t get a lot accomplished.
But personal injury attorney and communications expert Jefferson Fisher, who shares all kinds of simple conversation tips, argues that keeping your cool in these heated moments all comes down to three “power moves.”
During a clip of his Jefferson Fisher podcast, the conversation guru first offered up a handy visualization: during moments of facing criticism, he imagines a giant trash can next to him, which collects all the negative feedback. He then “sifts” through the words, separating any snark as “trash” to get to what’s actually worth responding to.
“If I hear something that’s offensive, I’ll be like ‘okay, that’s trash.’ In my mind, I grab it with my right hand…and throw it.”
That concept alone might be enough to avoid getting your feathers ruffled in many sticky situations. But below are the three easy strategies that can go a little further when someone is being offensive.
Power Move #1: Silence
Not saying anything after getting a snarky comment gives the other person the chance to take in their word choice, which Fisher argues often prompts them to apologize on their own.
“You’ve just exposed instead of covering it up…If you just let that silence sit there, oftentimes they go ‘sorry I shouldn’t have said that.’”
Power Move # 2: Acknowledge that the feedback could be true, rather than that it is
In these instances, Fisher encourages saying “Maybe you’re right,” which embraces humility without being a doormat.
Power Move #3: Holding off on the timing
In other words, this means not responding when you are angry and triggered.
To initiate a later time, Fisher suggests saying something like, “Let’s have this out…I don’t really have my thoughts together on that. Why don’t we talk about that at noon tomorrow?”
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Fisher added the caveat that context about who this person is in your life will determine which of these steps you might take. Overall, the main goal stays the same: asserting your value while steering the conversation towards what’s actually productive to discuss. No fighting back required.
You can find more cool tips just like this one on Fisher’s YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.