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Mom realizes she's been using the 'heavy' setting on her washer wrong for years—and fellow moms are shook

"Today years old when I realize why my blankets are sopping wet."

Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.

"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

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Grandparents share their 'no-buy' things to do while spending time with grandkids

"I just want to do stuff with him that is not centered around buying stuff."

Image via Canva/lisegagne

Grandparents share free activity ideas to do with grandkids.

Spending quality time with grandkids is one of the best things about being grandparents, but it can also be costly. And with many grandparents living on fixed incomes or receiving federal aid (87% of the population aged 65 and over receive benefits from the Social Security Administration), it can be a financial burden.

But grandparents are getting creative with "no-buy" activities to do with their grandkids, and sharing with their fellow grandparents (as well as a few ideas from parents) on Reddit. As one grandparent noted, "Please don’t think I’m cheap. He is the only grandchild in my daughter-in-law’s family and he has toys and games for miles. I just want to do stuff with him that is not centered around buying stuff."

These are 45 of the best free activities grandparents like to do while spending time and making memories with their grandkids.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"'Cook' dinner with me for his folks. (Cook is probably a stretch since what I have planned is more mixing than cooking .) Have a picnic at the park. Go to the library. He loves games so I’m hoping he will teach me his favorite game. Work a puzzle together. I embroidered animals on some plastic canvas I had. I’m going to bring enough yarn for him to sew the background of each and then we are going to sew the panels together to make a box for his allowance. I am bring his dad’s favorite childhood books with me to read together. We are going to the children’s museum." - KeyGovernment4188

"A backyard cookout with s'mores for dessert." - wise_hampster

granpdarents, grandkids, smores, making smores, smores fire Grandparents make smores with grandkids.Image via Canva/Monkey Business Images

"Some parks have (free) nature centers too, my kids used to love those. A couple of parks near me have bird feeders set up near the nature centers too and you’ll see a bunch of different birds coming and going." - Nervous-Internet-926

"Scavenger hunts are fun and there are hundreds you can find online." - mummymunt

"Geocaching would be fun as well." - Jim0621

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"Make a fort. And then have a movie night in it with popcorn and snacks!" - LocalUnit1007 & sapphirebit0

"Find a cool local playground. Bring a couple of his toys (e.g. trucks or a ball). Play hide and seek. Splash pad if they're still open (might not be after Labor Day). Open swim at the local pool. 5 year olds can usually hike up to 2 miles before they start complaining, so any local nature hikes would be fun. Bring snacks. Bake something. If it rains, it can be fun to go on a worm/snail hunt." - glyptodontown

"Also adding to if it rains: Go on a puddle jump about while looking for snails and worms. Some of my best memories with my grandpa were us getting wet and muddy after a rain storm." - Usual-Bag-3605

"Bake! My grandmother couldn't handle helping me bake cookies as a kid, but she bought premade cookie dough and we had a good time. Hide and seek. Card games for older kids. Board games- candy land and other quick stuff is best. My grandparents had a box of toys and books for us at their house- nothing fancy, but different than our stuff at home. Go to yard sales (or other cheap places), let kids pick something for less than a few dollars. Could let them fill up toy box at their house. Bubbles. Music (freeze dance is great to get kids tired and grandparents can sit!). Special movie/tv shows. Putt-putt, walk around neighborhood, bowling (even toddlers can participate- make sure alley has small balls and gutter rails)." - Doththecrocodile

"Walks. Walks are never ‘just’ walks. They are opportunities to connect, for him to learn more about you and vice versa. Spotting nature signs, collecting stuff or taking photos of interesting things, or just walk and chat. You’ll both remember these lovely times 😊." - Cool-Strawberry-9853

grandparents, grandma, grandpa, grandkids, walk Grandparents go on a walk with grandkids.Image via Canva/Monkey Business Images

"Make a family photo album. Or do a family tree. Or recycle Christmas cards into gift tags." - SnowblindAlbino

"My 6 year old is being taught how to play chess by his grandad at the moment. He's getting really good at it! Granny plays playdoh with him and does all the artsy craftsy stuff with him. He goes to stay with them every fortnight and gets to do lots of fun things, they go for walks and to garden centers. He loves it! :)" - ThermiteMillie

"Things that are easy to do at the table, or while sitting, like: Dominoes, either playing the game or standing them up to topple over. Age appropriate board games, likes chutes & ladders, Chinese checkers, candy land, etc. Play doh...my son asks for help rolling the doh out then uses cookie cutters. Books, books, books! For added interest get some lift the flaps or seek & find...a drive or walk to the library. Painting, drawing, coloring. Pipe cleaners! What shapes, letters, numbers, etc can you make. Legos. Magnets on cookie sheets, you can usually find letter & number magnets at the dollar store. Throw to gather a bunch of random craft items from the dollar store and let them have at it! Grandparents can help younger kids with scissors or using glue. Check Pinterest, you can find tons of free worksheets to print, from mazes to connect the dots, practice writing, etc. If you want them to be re-useable, slip them in plastic sheet protectors and use dry erase markers so they can be wiped off and used again. Puppets, make your own or buy some. Games that aren't too physical, like Simon Says or I Spy. A few ideas, anyway..." - I_dont_like_pickles

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Gen X parents who 'roamed free' as kids challenge Millennial parents' 'constant stimulation'

"Parents are constantly 'doing' something with their kids."

Image via Canva/Kampus Production

Gen X parents discuss biggest parenting difference between them and Millennials.

Parenting styles are always changing from generation to generation. And Gen Xers are taking note about how vastly different their parents' (from the Silent Generation and Baby Boomers) style of parenting differs from Millennials.

One Gen Xer shared, "Something I’ve noticed the last 10 years or so is how much parents are constantly 'doing' something with their kids all summer. I have a few friends that are much younger and have children of all ages. It seems like everyday they are going to the zoo, going to the park, going to a museum, waterpark, taking them horseback riding etc. It never stops."

After explaining the observation, they continued, "I just remember being a kid and playing outside all summer and maybe doing 1-2 things all summer. Do kids really need this much constant stimulation? Please correct me if I’m wrong. It just seems like A LOT."

@nostalgicjunkies1

80s parents gave us freedom. We played till sunset, rode bikes, and explored the world without a care. They trusted us, letting us grow with our own experiences. 🕶️💖 #80sNostalgia #Freedom #Parenting #ChildhoodMemories #90sKids #80sParents #Nostalgia #ParentingWin ! #nostalgia #childhood #80sparents #millenial #childhoodmemories #80sbaby #teenager #throwback #millennialsoftiktok #80snostalgia #nostalgiacore #usa #fyp #foryoupage #trending

Many Gen Xers agreed, and explained the value in giving their kids space growing up. "My kids are older now, but when they were young, I tried to do a combo of unstructured time and fun activities in the summers. We'd have a few days of unstructured time in a row, then hit a museum or water park or something to break it up. I think they both have value," one wrote.

And another Gen Xer added, "It’s not an all or nothing thing. Being around your kids 24/7 so they get smothered and never learn to make their own decisions is bad but our parents basically ignoring us all the time was just as bad. There’s a pretty large happy medium where you hang out with your kids sometimes while in other times you leave them to their own devices."

The post garnered further reaction, and healthy debate. Other Gen Xers disagreed, noting their parents could have been more involved with them growing up.

@b.u.p.c

Replying to @duanemclendon still raising kids at my age. #genx

One Gen Xer explained how their parents' hands-off style influenced theirs to be completely different. "We were also just kinda generally neglected. Like, I was in Little League in the summer, but I had to ride my BMX bike like 45 minutes to get to practice, and I for sure had to make lunch for myself before I left home. I suspect that part of what’s going on now is a reaction to that," they wrote.

Some Millennials also shared that they intentionally don't overstimulate their kids. "This has not at all been my parenting style. To take it even further, I feel doing so is ultimately a disservice to the kids, no matter how well intended. Too many children have become dependent on constant outside stimulation," one wrote. "Too many kids are too damn busy. Learning to amuse yourself is a life skill, and parents ought to be encouraging it. Let them just be once in awhile, especially on their Summer break."

@mrjackskipper

Am I right? #relatable #parenting #90s

However, other Millennials defended their more 'involved' parenting style proudly. "I read that on average working mothers today spend more direct time with their children than stay-at-home mothers did in the 1970s. That was pretty telling to me. ETA: My point being that parents in our generation in general probably spend more time with children," one shared. And another added, "My father once bragged to me he had never changed a diaper. It was not the flex he thought it was."

One Millennial parent summarized their parenting style succinctly: "I think it's because Millennial parents see their kids as human beings and not just something they had to make and raise cause society told them to."

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Man seeking divorce changes mind after losing high-paying job. Wife has a perfect response.

The tables have turned.

via Canva/Photos

A very angry woman.

A husband filed for divorce from his wife and burned bridges in the process by making incredibly disrespectful remarks to her. This came 10 months after she had their second child (the couple has six, in total). After losing his high-paying job, he turned course and asked her to take him back again. Should she take him back, given his lot in life, or hold firm and say good riddance to bad rubbish?

The situation came to a head when the husband demanded that his wife, who had a 10-month-old baby, stay in the house, instead of taking her child to a dentist appointment. She went anyway, and then the man slept in his game room for two months. He told everyone that he was divorcing his wife and went so far as to contact an attorney.

“He told me I was not the prize. I'm almost 40 and have four kids, three of whom are minors. He said he's the prize, he's in his prime, and makes good money, and any woman would love to be in my shoes and take care of his kids. He even went as far as inviting his baby mother into the house to visit while I was out,” the woman wrote on Reddit.

sad woman, upset woman, woman looking at phone, shocked woman, mad woman A sad woman looking at her phone.via Canva/Photos

Once the man had made his intentions clear, things changed quickly

“Fast forward, he loses his job and telling me to wait to move. He then starts talking nicer to me and acting differently than before,” she wrote. So what was the wife to do, take back the man who said that she was “not the prize” and that he was desirable because he had a high-paying job? Nope. She stood her ground and said he needed to leave. “I told him I was still moving out and going forward with separating because his actions did not align with someone who wanted to be with me,” she wrote.

The woman then asked the commenters if she was right to follow through with what her husband started. The commenters were overwhelmingly on her side. “He said he was done, so let's be done, even if now it's an inconvenience for him,” one of the top commenters wrote. “Sounds like YOU are the prize after all, because he's an unemployed AH who's soon to be unable to rent an apartment because he doesn't have a job. Hope his parents live close by and can take him in.”

confused man, upset man, divorced man, man wearing brown, man with questions, A dejected man.via Canva/Photos


The therapists weigh in

Upworthy spoke with Paige Harley, MA, a conflict expert with over 30 years of experience helping couples and families walk through breakups and divorce. She says the woman shouldn’t feel any guilt for her actions. “Absolutely never a reason to feel guilty about setting boundaries. However, make sure you are clear about what a boundary is and specifically what yours are,” Harley told Upworthy. “It’s hard and you will need to be the ‘bigger person’ but your future self will thank you—as you are setting the tone for what comes next.”

Dr. Najari Jeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship expert, and host of The Coupled Podcast, says there’s nothing wrong with separating, but that’s just the first step. "I would say that this woman is not in the wrong for sticking to the boundary of separation. It clearly reinforces to him that he cannot threaten the safety and stability of the relationship without a consequence,” Dr. Jeter told Upworthy. “The deeper issue is, can she separate herself from his view of reality and their marriage? Just because he says these things to her, it doesn't make them true. She may need to accept that he says these things to himself and others about her, but they aren't true--and that defending herself to him will likely get her nowhere.”

Unfortunately, the woman had to deal with a verbally abusive man who isn’t supportive of her or their combined six children. But what’s great to see is that after her husband tried to knock her down a peg and then leave her, she stood her ground and would not take him back. There’s no doubt that she also felt great support from the 1,300 people who commented on the page, with nearly all of them supporting her decision.

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