Rima Biswas

For most people, losing a parent is one of the most heartbreaking events in a person's life. Whether you have a complicated relationship or a super solid one, saying goodbye to those who gave you life and molded you into who you are is a big deal.

After a parent's passing, it's common to look for photos of them, to remember them in various stages of their life, but photographer Deanna Dikeman–who goes by @deannadikeman on Instagram–took that idea several steps further than most. Over more than two decades, she documented her parents in a series of photographs of them waving goodbye to her in their driveway every time she left after a visit.

The photographer's project started in 1991 and continued until October 2017. Dikeman shared a post on her Instagram account featuring the series of photographs, which went on display at Réseau L U X (@reseau_lux) on 7 November 2024 in Paris under the title "Leaving and Waving."

"I started in 1991 with a quick snapshot, and I continued taking photographs with each departure," Dikeman wrote on her website. "I never set out to make this series. I just took these photographs as a way to deal with the sadness of leaving. It gradually turned into our goodbye ritual and became a story about family, aging, and the sorrow of saying goodbye."

"In 2009, there is a photograph, where my father is no longer there. He passed away a few days after his ninety-first birthday," Dikeman elaborated, per The Polygon. "My mother continued to wave goodbye to me. Her face became more forlorn with my departure. In 2017, my mother had to move to assisted living. For a few months, I photographed the goodbyes from her apartment door. In October of 2017, she passed away. When I left after her funeral, I took one more photograph of the empty driveway. For the first time in my life, no one was waving back at me."

All the photographs were compiled and reposted in order by @the.pinklemonade on Instagram. Dikeman was also invited for an interview at the Tamron Hall Show, where she shared more details about her poignant series of pictures and a message she wanted to pass on to people who have seen her photographs.

"Well, for me, I was able to go back and look at the photographs and see the love in my parents' eyes," she told Hall over a Zoom interview. "Just one look at those pictures and I saw my dad's gaze and mom's kind of crumpled face sometimes and I knew how they felt. I knew what I meant to them and I am hoping that I can show the world what they meant to me."

Meanwhile, the comment section of the post on Dikeman's page was full of people pouring out their emotions. @r.ckto wrote, "Incredible! The time is gone, and the love is forever, but those who stay on this side of life carry the suffering." @nurse.nagila shared, "This brought tears to my eyes because, as a parent, my husband and I always stand outside our home and wave goodbye to our kids and grandkids. My parents now live with us and they are in their 70s and I know that I should cherish every moment we have left." @mcchitman added, "This is amazing. I wish I could go back and do this with my mother. She blew me a kiss from the garage door every day that I left the house for 33 years. The first time leaving with no kiss goodbye was incredibly difficult."

- YouTube youtu.be

You can follow Deanna Dikeman (@deannadikeman) on Instagram for more photography content.