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sex scenes

Woman covers husband's eyes during Oppenheimer sex scene.

The internet has turned people into an act now kind of society. When something is shared on the internet, people are quick to judge and want swift and severe consequences...as long as they're not on the receiving end. It's interesting to see how the "rules for thee, not for me" fallacy plays out consistently in real-time on social media.

Humans make mistakes and no single person is infallible, yet when someone shares something that others don't agree with, the public shaming commences. Since social media interaction is near-instantaneous, reserving judgment until one gains clarification isn't unreasonable, yet that choice is rarely ever utilized.

With everyone reacting quickly without much context, some people wind up being shamed or "punished" by the court of public opinion unjustly. Jourdan Kehr from West Virginia found herself at the center of the internet's wrath of shame after a video of her explaining that she had her husband close his eyes during sex scenes while watching Oppenheimer started circulating.

The video led to some confusion and a whole lot of judgment. Kehr was responding to a comment about Oppenheimer and how to prepare for the sex scene with Florence Pugh. It was then that she revealed what she and her husband did after devising a plan upon researching everything she could about the movie.

"What we did was, when the scene came up, when things were happening, he literally closed his eyes and laid his head on my shoulder," Kehr says before demonstrating what it looked like.

After receiving a lot of comments shaming her about her need to have her husband look away from the screen during a sex scene, Kehr disabled comments. But the wife made several follow-up videos, including one that gave greater context into why her husband not watching sex scenes on screen was a hard boundary for her.


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Kehr says she suffers from betrayal trauma, which is a term used when "the people or institutions on which a person depends on for survival significantly violate that person's trust or well-being," according to Freyd Dynamics Lab. In the video, she explains that she felt deeply betrayed by her spouse when she discovered he was watching pornography without her knowledge.

"After nine years of marriage, 10 years of being in a completely monogamous relationship, in a relationship where I was fully under the belief that he didn't look at other women, he didn't self-pleasure to other women," Kehr says, "[porn] was the furthest thing from my mind."


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Trauma is not a one-size-fits-all thing. What may traumatize one person may not have the same effect on someone else. So, while people are attempting to shame Kehr for her requiring her husband to avert his eyes in the presence of naked women on screen, her reasons are valid because her trauma is valid.

We can't judge what other people choose to do in their relationships as long as everyone involved in the relationship is of age and giving consent. The additional context helps put things into perspective, even if it's not what others would choose for their own relationships.

While porn addiction isn't an official diagnosis, consumption of pornography can cause problems within a relationship. But it's up to the participating parties of the relationship to set boundaries around what they find unacceptable in order to keep their relationship healthy.