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Father of LGBTQ kids has a perfect response to homophobic new neighbor who tried to shame him

It was a colorful response, to say the least.

Photo by Jasmin Sessler on Unsplash

Dad responds to rude neighbor with rainbow flags.

Sometimes, when we encounter unsavory behavior from others, a response is warranted. But the real art is responding in a way that’s clear, strong, and yet still peaceful. For an example of this, look no further than Xander’s dad, who was on the receiving end of hate from his neighbor. Rather than spewing back the same amount of vitriol, his colorful comeback had courage, wit and just the right amount of flair.

As Xander tells us in the video, the retort came after the neighbor told his dad that having two gay kids (Xander’s sister Claire is a lesbian) meant he “failed as a parent.” “So dad took a moment then replied with this…” the onscreen text reads. Next thing you know, Xander’s dad can be seen filling his backyard with huge (like, parade-level huge) rainbow pride flags. A dozen of them at least.

The video ends with the words: “No, saying things like that does.”

@fitxander

Some AWESOME shade from my dad 😂🌈 #gay #dad @claire_training


In another video, we learn that the not-so-friendly neighborhood watch told his dad that he wasn’t allowed to fly “gay flags” anymore.

@fitxander

Follow me on IG for more 🌈 #lgbtq #gay #pride


But rather than accept defeat—or resort to cruelty—he simply looked at the rules, only to discover that his house was actually outside the map by 2 meters (6.5 feet). So up the pride flags went! And even more this time!

Flag responses seem to run in the family. In another video, Xander explains that his neighbor (where have all the friendly ones gone?) said he couldn’t sell his house because of the small window-sized trans flag hung near the roof. So Xander got an even bigger one that covered the entire back side.

Are gay people more likely to have gay siblings than straight people?

In another video, Xander introduced his sister, who is a lesbian, begging the question, is it more likely for gay people to have a gay sibling than a straight person? Research says yes. Gay women and men are more likely to have gay siblings than straight women and straight men. Somewhere between 7 to 16% of gay people also have a gay sibling.


@fitxander

We really did say this. What were we thinking! #gay #lesbian #gaysiblings

Pride Flags have long been a nonviolent way to stand up for the LGBTQ community. And yet, they still manage to whip up plenty of heated controversy, particularly at schools. The original eight colors all had a specific meaning, and only one color (pink) denoted sexuality. Meaning that the pride flag was and is just as nuanced and dynamic as the people it represents.

The flag has taken on many different forms over the years as it evolves to speak for more marginalized communities, but it remains a peaceful and artistic form of protest. One that always seems to get the message across.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Lesbian moms are suing Nebraska for refusing to list them on their children's birth certificates

via ACLU Nebraska

Erin Porterfield, Kristin Williams and family.

Erin Porterfield and Kristin Williams are fighting to have themselves named as the legal parents of their two children after the state of Nebraska has repeatedly refused.

The couple broke up in 2013 after both gave birth to one child while they were together. Porterfield gave birth to their first son, Kadin, 19 years ago. Three years later, Williams gave birth to their second child, Cameron.

Same-sex couples couldn't legally marry in Nebraska when the children were born so both of them only had their biological mothers listed on their birth certificates. After repeated attempts to add an additional parent to their certificates, the state has refused unless they get married.

Currently, each parent has been granted temporary in loco parentis (or "in place of parent") rights over the other's biological child, but they do not have full parental rights.

Williams and Porterfield filed a lawsuit against the state of Nebraska on Monday claiming that the state's decision violated their constitutional rights by discriminating against them for being women.

Their case seems pretty clear-cut.

"If you had a man and a woman in this exact same scenario, not together anymore, never married, do not want to get married, so we don't have adoption available to them, all the man needs to do is go and sign an acknowledgment of paternity and he gets put onto the birth certificate and it is a legal order then that he is a parent," Angela Dunne, a managing partner at the plaintiffs' legal firm, told WOWT. "Erin and Kristin can't do that because they're women."

"We were never able to marry because by the time the supreme court had awarded that right to gay people, we had split as a couple," Williams said. "We continued to care for both of our children as any couple would with shared custody."

The lawsuit also petitions the state to allow anyone, regardless of gender, to be able to provide voluntary acknowledgment of paternity rights.

The Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services says that the parents' request falls outside of the power granted to the state's executive branch. The DHHS said in a letter that "at this time, the only routes to legal parentage under Nebraska law are through marital presumption, adoption, or biological relationship."

Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts.via Gage Skidmore / Flickr

The state's governor, Republican Pete Ricketts agrees with the DHHS. However, he misstated the facts of the case in a statement to KETV.

"The couple had the opportunity to get married and chose not to," Rickets incorrectly told KETV. "So, we looked at how Nebraska law reads and we applied Nebraska law."

No, the couple didn't have the chance to get married because they broke up two years before it was legal in Nebraska.

It's ridiculous that the state's governor is pushing back against the couple's request because it's legal for same-sex couples to get married and adopt in Nebraska. It's also legal for a man to put his name on the birth certificate of a child, regardless of his relationship to the other parent.

All Williams and Porterfield want is the security of knowing their children are cared for in case of an emergency and that they have the rights of inheritance that any children of a straight couple would enjoy.

But unfortunately, they are forced to fight a battle that should have been settled long ago.

"Our sons are our entire world and we want to make sure we're doing right by them," Porterfield said in a statement released by the ACLU. "Our boys have a right to the security of having both parents on their birth certificates, a required document in so many life changes and decisions. That's why this matters to us. It's about looking out for our sons."

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She gave up on finding a forever home — until she found her dads.

With tears collecting in her eyes, Lupe Ortiz-Tovar explained why she always felt different from the other kids.

Lupe went into foster care when she was 5 years old and lived in more than 18 homes across multiple states throughout her childhood. She learned not to get her hopes up thinking the next family would be her last.

"I think you remember the honeymoon phase of going into a family, but it’s never yours," she explained in a video by the Human Rights Campaign. "It’s really like you’re a visitor in someone else’s home and you don’t know how long that's going to last."

GIF via Human Rights Campaign.

Lupe's experience being shuffled around the foster care system is one that's shared by far too many children. A point-in-time survey found more than 420,000 kids were in foster care in the U.S. in September 2015 — up from 2011, when it stood at just over 397,000.

While there are various reasons why kids are placed into care and many children are in the system only temporarily, thousands share Lupe's story. She transferred from home to home until she aged out of the system.

Finding a real home to call her own just wasn't meant to be.

GIF via Human Rights Campaign.

Or so she thought.

In 2005, two terrific guys came into Lupe's life.

"Little did I know that I would meet Clay and Bryan," Lupe said. "And my dads would find me."

GIF via Human Rights Campaign.

Lupe met Clay and Bryan, a same-gender couple, while completing a summer internship with Foster Club, a nonprofit aimed at helping kids in foster care.

In the decade after that, Clay and Bryan became close mentors to Lupe, she says over email. And finally, in 2015 — after Clay and Bryan's marriage could be legally recognized — the couple adopted Lupe in Oklahoma when she was in her early 30s.

"There is no such thing as too late to find your forever families," Lupe said. "There are no term limits on the love that families can provide each other!"

"We all added something to each other's lives," Lupe said in the video by HRC. "It was like a puzzle that was just waiting — we were all waiting for each other."

GIF via Human Rights Campaign.

The Human Rights Campaign is using Lupe's story to illustrate how crucial it is to allow LGBTQ couples to have the ability to adopt.

"Kids shouldn't have to wait to find their forever families because of discrimination," HRC states in the video.

And discrimination is very much on the table as Oklahoma Senate Bill 1140 hangs in the balance. The bill would allow certain faith-based child welfare agencies to deny adoption opportunities to kids in need based on the potential guardians' sexual orientations or gender identities.

HRC, which is strongly against the legislation, is urging Oklahomans to text "FAMILY" to 30644 or call 405-521-2711 to connect with a state House representative to demand the bill be defeated.

It's not just about ensuring equality for queer couples, the organization argues. Having the option also allows many children in need — like Lupe had been — to find loving parents.

"I've never had or thought about what a great father is — I've never had that picture in my life," Lupe says in the video below. "And so [Clay and Bryan] have really completed many empty pictures and have given me lots to dream about and hope for in my own life."

Watch Lupe's story by the Human Rights Campaign, an Upworthy Handpicked video:

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