upworthy

lena waithe

If you could give a piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be? Be bolder? Care less (or more) about schoolwork? Don't sweat the small stuff?

We'd all have words of wisdom to pass down. But for LGBTQ people who've struggled with their identities as kids, those words may carry especially critical messages.

I posed the question to LGBTQ stars and allies who walked the red carpet at TrevorLive — a fundraising gala benefitting The Trevor Project — on June 11 in New York.

Here's what they had to say.


Figure skater Adam Rippon and skier Gus Kenworthy — two of the first openly gay male Olympians to compete for the U.S. — hosted TrevorLive. Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

Olympic skier Gus Kenworthy: "I would tell myself that — as hard as I'm going to try to be what everyone expects me to be or what I thought everyone expects me to be — in the end, it's not going to make me happy."  

"The only time I'm really going to be happy is when I understand that and accept myself for who I am, and share that self with the world. And hopefully would have encouraged myself to do it a lot earlier."

Skiier Gus Kenworthy is among the first openly gay male Olympians in U.S. history. Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

"Orange Is the New Black" star Natasha Lyonne: "I would tell myself, 'Kid, if you can make it — you, you troublemaker — we all can make it. It gets better.'"

"I would say to that person that everyone is a little bit broken, and that's their underlying beauty. So that's OK."

Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

Film producer Greg Berlanti: "A lot of the things I wanted to change about myself back then are the things I love most about myself now."

"And it doesn't seem possible when you're in that moment because you feel like they're preventing you from having the life that you want. But really they end up being the sort of gateway to the life that you want."

[rebelmouse-image 19347040 dam="1" original_size="819x1024" caption=""Love, Simon" director Greg Berlanti, who won the evening's Hero Award, prioritizes LGBTQ representation in his many film and TV projects. Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project." expand=1]"Love, Simon" director Greg Berlanti, who won the evening's Hero Award, prioritizes LGBTQ representation in his many film and TV projects. Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

Model and TV personality Carmen Carrera: "One word of advice I would probably give my younger self is to talk to my mom. Just talk to mom!"

"Tell her how you feel. And just know that everything is going to be OK — that you are a human being, that you belong here, that you have a place here, and you don't ever have to worry about people not loving you."

Carmen Carrera is a trailblazing transgender model and TV personality. Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

Internet star and activist Raymond Braun: "I would say, 'I love you,' because my 10-year-old self was struggling a lot."

"At that point, I knew that I was gay, but I thought that I was going to live my entire life in the closet and never come out. I had so much internalized shame and hatred about my identity because I was being bullied every day."

Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

"I would have told myself to call [The Trevor Project] because I would have known there were resources out there and people out there."

The night was full of both celebration and sobering reflections for the 20-year-old nonprofit, which fights suicide among LGBTQ youth.

The event raised over $2 million for The Trevor Project — the most ever garnered from TrevorLive. Every penny of that and more is still desperately needed to save young lives.

Teens who identity as queer — and especially those who identify as transgender — are disproportionately affected by suicide. And while society has taken significant strides forward in LGBTQ rights and visibility, that progress has been met with backlash, fresh challenges, and a vicious political climate that often leaves queer youth particularly vulnerable.

Producer and actress Lena Waithe, who took home the organization's Hero Award alongside Berlanti, reminded the room that there's still much that needs to be done.

Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The Trevor Project.

"I'm really moved by the stories I'm hearing and the faces I'm seeing and all the love — but don't treat each other like this just in this room," she said. "We need to take it out into the world. ... It's our job to make sure all queer people are human. They weren't born to be perfect. They were born to be whole."

Learn more about LGBTQ youth suicide and support The Trevor Project here.

You know incredibly dope, superfly Lena Waithe, right?    

[rebelmouse-image 19475088 dam="1" original_size="480x468" caption="GIF via Paley Center for Media/Tumblr." expand=1]GIF via Paley Center for Media/Tumblr.

The goofy, brilliant, loveable, queer black woman everyone just can’t get enough of?  


Photo by Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images.

Well, the brilliant actress and screenwriter recently made history in a really awesome way.  

She’s just become Vanity Fair’s first openly black, lesbian cover star.

Vanity Fair, one of the world’s most famous high-end magazines, made the excellent decision to feature Waithe on the cover of its April issue.

Naturally, the internet went wild.

LEEEEENNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAA 💯

A post shared by Elaine Welteroth (@elainewelteroth) on

The incredible cover has been lauded by actors, musicians, journalists, and screenwriters alike.

Many are praising new editor-in-chief, Radhika Jones, for using her first Vanity Fair magazine issue to amplify a queer black woman’s story and change the game.

Photographed by the always-iconic Annie Leibovitz, Waithe’s cover is a welcome change to the homogenous, somewhat stuffy narrative that Vanity Fair’s been criticized for in the past.

But Jones is making a very clear statement with this cover: The world of film and art is changing, and readers should take note.        

The shoot’s candid photos of everyday life deviate from Vanity Fair’s norm of solely showcasing high-fashion imagery. Considering the magazine’s historical focus on white, heterosexual, cisgender people (for instance, their all-white female cover in 2017), it’s encouraging that Jones is making good on her promise to take the sometimes-exclusionary publication to the next level.

She’s doing so by engaging with the current cultural moment to diversify the ways in which we tell stories — and whose stories get told in the first place.

The honor is certainly well-deserved. Waithe has worked in the industry for more than a decade and recently became the first black woman to win an Emmy for comedy writing for her incredible “Master of None” episode, “Thanksgiving.”  

Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for SXSW.

But considering the fact that she’s now voicing commercials, producing and writing the beloved television show “The Chi,” and working with Steven Spielberg on a new movie, the actress/screenwriter/producer seems to be just getting started.

Unapologetically black and lesbian, Waithe remains true to herself while also working to lift marginalized voices on her journey to success.    

GIF from The Emmys.

While it’s certainly impressive, there’s one star who really wasn’t surprised by Waithe skyrocketing to the top.

Filmmaker Ava DuVernay saw Waithe’s talent nearly 10 years ago on the set of one of DuVernay’s first films.    

Yes, Ms. DuVernay, you did tell us so.

Her tweets are a delightful reminder for anyone who’s working longer hours, having a few sleepless nights, and hustling to mark their mark in the world.

Hard work pays off.

Entering a new industry, taking a chance on a dream, or working towards a degree often takes extra time and energy, but DuVernay reminds us that doing your absolute best (even when it feels like you're at the bottom) pays off.  

DuVernay isn’t the first to applaud Waithe for her work ethic, either. Waithe had a long working relationship with “Love & Basketball” director Gina Prince-Bythewood and often discussed the long — usually hilarious — days that gave Waithe some of her most invaluable experience.

“There is nothing I cannot do," she once said. "With a little bit of help, little bit of resources, and little bit of swag, I’m gon' get there."  

Photo by Rich Polk/Getty Images for Essence.

In a world that’s constantly challenging everyone to think bigger, work harder, and achieve more, Waithe’s words ring truer than ever. Fighting for your dreams is hard work that often requires long hours, sleepless nights, and sacrifices.

But DuVernay’s words are incredibly motivating for anyone trying to make it.  

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images.

When you respect others, remain true to yourself, and work hard to listen and learn each day, nothing is impossible.

Lena Waithe taught us that.

This is the seventh edition of "This week in black women," a weekly column dedicated to signal-boosting the black women who make the world spin.

While this column technically took a week off last week, I wrote a story about the many ways you can thank black women for carrying the country on our backs. TL;DR: Open your wallet and/or get to work.

This week, I'm shouting out a dynamite teenage speed-skater, a musician finally getting her due, the best ending (beginning?) to Lena Waithe's story and more. Pay these women! Celebrate these women. Follow them! Encourage them! Let's do this.


"Yes, young queen": Maame Biney

17-year-old Maame Biney became the first black woman to qualify for a U.S. Olympic speedskating team. FIRST. In 2017. Born in Ghana and raised in Virginia, she is only the second black person to make the team — EVER. (Shani Davis made the team in 2002.)

“I can’t believe it! Aww geez!” Biney told ESPN after she won her final 500 meter race. “It’s a really good feeling, but it has to set in first because it takes me a while. I’m like, ‘holy cow.”’

Maame Biney celebrates victory in the women's 500-meter A final. Photo by Harry How/Getty Images.

"We won't forget": Sister Rosetta Tharpe

Decades after her death in 1973, rock gospel icon Sister Rosetta Tharpe was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. She infused the sounds of her rural home in Arkansas with her adopted hometown Chicago to create music that laid the foundation for generations of rock legends, including Elvis Presley and Bob Dylan. This long-overdue praise and recognition is richly deserved. Take a listen to some of her greatest hits.

Photo by Ron Case/Keystone/Getty Images.

"Go off sis!": Leslie Jones

Leslie Jones (and one half of Colin Jost's face) appeared on the cover of New York Magazine looking fabulous. Hats off to this furiously funny woman on her continued come-up.

"Love is real": Lena Waithe

Because life imitates art in the very best way, Emmy-award winning writer Lena Waithe announced this week she got engaged to her partner, Alana Mayo, on Thanksgiving. As you may recall, Waithe won a writing Emmy for penning an episode loosely based on her life coming out to her family as a lesbian over the course of several Thanksgivings. So, this is basically the best epilogue of all time.

Photo by Tibrina Hobson/AFP/Getty Images.

AND, yes, there's more Lena Waithe content where that came from. The first episode of her new show "The Chi" (which debuts on Showtime in January) is streaming right now for free on YouTube. (Don't worry, it's legit.)  The show is a coming-of-age drama about a community of black people living on the south side of Chicago. Waithe is co-creator and co-writer.

Final Thought: @_peech

Again, put your money where your mouth is and support the work of black women.

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This episode of Aziz Ansari's TV show holds 5 beautiful truths about Thanksgiving.

'Master of None' taught us all how to be a bit more grateful.

If there is one show worth watching ahead of the holidays, it's the "Thanksgiving" episode of the critically acclaimed "Master of None" Netflix series.

[rebelmouse-image 19469851 dam="1" original_size="480x199" caption=""Thanksgiving" warmed the hearts and minds of people around the country." expand=1]"Thanksgiving" warmed the hearts and minds of people around the country.

Released this summer, the episode was so touching and thought-provoking that its writer, Lena Waithe, made history in becoming the first black woman to win an Emmy for comedy writing.  


Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

The episode follows queer character Denise Watkins (Lena Waithe) and her coming-out story through decades of Thanksgivings with her family.

There are a lot of things that made this episode great. From watching Catherine, Denise's mom (Angela Bassett), capture many familiar aspects of black motherhood to Dev (Aziz Ansari) and Denise’s unbreakable friendship to a rare happy ending for a black queer couple in love, "Master of None" gave us a heartwarming story centered around queer black culture not often seen on screen.

Here are five important lessons from "Thanksgiving" that viewers should take into the holiday season.

1. Friendship is truly the key to life.

Denise and Dev’s decades-long friendship showed the importance of friends who love us through all the highs and lows.

Dev’s annual appearance at the family’s Thanksgiving dinner was an important tradition to the family. It gave Dev an opportunity to see and understand Denise for who she truly was and to be a source of refuge for her as she began dating in front of her family. Without Dev’s support, Denise’s coming-out experience may have been very different, and it’s clear that having Dev as a presence at the house was vital to her feeling comfortable with her family.    

2. Queer people fall in love, fall out of love, and love again, just like everyone else.  

"Master of None" is one of the few public representations of queer love between two women that isn't overly dramatic, doesn't involve cheating, and didn’t end with one of the characters dying.

These queer female characters have values, jobs, preferences, desires, and, well, you know, human complexities. In "Thanksgiving," Michelle and Denise's breakup (despite still being in love) was representative of an experience many queer women go through on the quest to find their match.

Michelle and Denise were a rare — and necessary — representation of female queer couples of color. Image from "Master of None."

Not all women are the best romantic partners, and queer women do in fact sometimes date women who are ultimately not a good fit. Queer women also sometimes date women who are terrible and hurtful or simply not compatible, just as straight women date men like this. The quest for love is difficult for most people, queer or not, and "Thanksgiving" gave us one of the most authentic representations of that journey.    

3. Changing hearts and minds takes time, and that’s OK.  

In a perfect world, everyone would be understanding, empathetic to others' experiences, and everyone could be unapologetically themselves.

"Thanksgiving" shows viewers that while this isn’t typically the case initially, change is possible. It appeared Denise may never feel comfortable bringing a committed partner home to the family after her mom and aunt’s didn't react great to her girlfriend, Michelle...

[rebelmouse-image 19469854 dam="1" original_size="480x196" caption="GIF from "Master of None."" expand=1]GIF from "Master of None."

But by the third Thanksgiving after coming out, Michelle was plating cornbread and joking with Denise’s mother. We are all human, and some people take longer than others to adjust to change. In this episode, viewers find that giving people a chance — and a little bit of time — can often change hearts and minds.    

4. Our families aren’t perfect, but they are ours.

Families are complicated. Between different views, complex pasts, and relative resentments, family gatherings can be a difficult place, having to engage with all these various components. Still, our family is our family. While we certainly shouldn't exempt hatred and bigotry, nor surround ourselves with problematic people just because we're related by blood, if there's room for growth, embrace it.

A family that works through things together is a gift.

5. Find gratitude — even in the little things.  

[rebelmouse-image 19469855 dam="1" original_size="735x306" caption="Image from "Master of None."" expand=1]Image from "Master of None."

Food. Shelter. Friends. Family. A job. A car. That really good coffee you grabbed on the way to Thanksgiving dinner.  

It’s no secret that 2017 has been a challenging year. Attacks on LGBTQ people have spiked, public policy decisions have been put in place that undermine policies meant to support the most vulnerable, and immigrants, Muslims, and people of color have been under increased scrutiny in society.  

We can't ignore these realities, but we must take stock of all the good things that have happened and will continue to happen. Activists are continuing to fight for equality, minorities are continuing to shine in the face of oppression, and people are continuing to live their best lives on their own terms.

A grateful heart can do a lot more than an ungrateful one.

This Thanksgiving, follow the Watkins family and enjoy good food, good laughs, and a good holiday.