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This is the parenting style that's best for your child's mental health according to new study

Consistency counts.

via August de Richelieu/Pexels

A father sternly talking to his son

There’s a long-running debate among parents over the proper way to discipline a child. Some favor the “spare the rod, spoil the child” philosophy. In contrast, others believe being warm and empathetic is the best approach to discipline. So who's right?

A new study from Cambridge University conducted on 7,507 children in Ireland from 9 months to 9 years old looked at which style is better for a child’s mental health.

For the study, researchers compared three parenting styles: “hostile,” in which parents are overbearing, protective, and use physical discipline; “consistent” parenting, where expectations, rules, and discipline are predictable; and “warm” parenting, which emphasizes affection and being empathetic to a child’s needs.

The researchers also looked at two mental health symptom classifications, high-risk and low-risk.

The researchers found that children whose parents used hostile parenting techniques when the child was 3 years old were 1.5 times more likely to have high-risk mental health symptoms and 1.6 times more likely to display low-risk mental health symptoms by the age of 9.

"Our findings suggest that hostile parenting should be avoided as much as possible in early childhood if we want to prevent children from developing increased mental health symptoms," said lead author Dr. Ioannis Katsantonis, a doctoral researcher at the University of Cambridge, said according to Good Morning America. "We found that children in the high-risk class had parents with greater stress and greater likelihood of ongoing physical and mental health problems. These parents might need additional support and resources to address their own needs and enhance their parenting skills."

On the other hand, the study found that consistent parenting could help protect children from developing low-risk mental health symptoms by the age of 9.

"Consistent parenting may help because it provides children with a sense of predictability and security, which can act as a buffer against worsening mental health," said Katsantonis.

The study also found that children raised with warm parenting techniques were neither more nor less likely to develop mental health symptoms by age 9. It appears parental empathy was basically a non-factor in predicting whether a child would have mental health struggles. These findings somewhat contradict previous studies that found empathetic parenting styles may protect children from developing certain emotional and mental health symptoms.

The researchers also stress that parenting isn’t the sole contributing factor to a child’s mental health. Children in low-income households or those who are raised by single parents are more likely to have mental health issues. Female children are also more likely than males to develop mental health symptoms by the age of 9. Genetics also plays a big role in whether a child will develop mental health symptoms.

The big takeaway from the study is the importance of consistency when raising children. It appears that when children can predict an adult’s behavior and understand what is expected of them, it is better for their mental health.

Sanford Health offers some helpful tips for parents who want to practice more consistency in their expectations, responses and routines so their children can benefit from that parenting style.

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How getting in trouble for skipping class may have saved this teen's life.

As a member of the Bloods, Trinidad Ramkissoon never expected to make it to Broadway.

Ramkissoon was the youngest of seven children, and while his immigrant parents worked hard to provide for them, the family still struggled, even enduring a bout of homelessness after their Cambridge, Massachusetts, apartment burned down.

With his father working 16-hour days and his only brother in prison for a violent crime, Ramkissoon was on the lookout for role models — and on the streets of Cambridge, gang life was the best option he could see.

“This was a family connection for me for a long time,” he told the Boston Globe in 2012. “Sometimes I [still] wear [the gang flag] just to own that — to, like, acknowledge it.”

[rebelmouse-image 19345920 dam="1" original_size="640x400" caption="Central Square, Cambridge, near where Ramkissoon grew up. Photo by Tony Webster/Flickr." expand=1]Central Square, Cambridge, near where Ramkissoon grew up. Photo by Tony Webster/Flickr.

By the age of 12, Ramkissoon had already been arrested, which led to a school suspension.

From the start, he wasn't set up for success.

[rebelmouse-image 19345921 dam="1" original_size="1240x769" caption="Trinidad Ramkissoon. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company/YouTube." expand=1]Trinidad Ramkissoon. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company/YouTube.

It comes as no surprise, then, that Ramkissoon would be caught skipping class as a high school freshman. But it was a mistake that would change everything.

He and his friends were reprimanded by Elaine Koury, the director of the arts program at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School, who also worked with a local company called Underground Railway Theater. She was struck by how apologetic — and charismatic — Ramkissoon was and decided to recruit him into a youth theater program.

It was there that Ramkissoon began to learn how to let his guard down.

“It opened something up in me,” he says. “And even more it connected me with Vincent [Siders, one of the teaching artists], who took on a father role with me and started saying what I needed to hear — even when the words have been tough and I haven’t liked what he was saying.”

[rebelmouse-image 19345922 dam="1" original_size="1337x769" caption="Ramkissoon on stage. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company/YouTube." expand=1]Ramkissoon on stage. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company/YouTube.

High school theater programs are known to reduce dropout rates by giving students a shared sense of purpose and responsibility — and a reason to continue attending school.

Theater wouldn't stop Ramkissoon from dropping out at first, but it did help bring him back.

After about a year out of school, he enrolled in Boston Day and Evening Academy, a unique program that helps students re-engage in academics on a personalized education track.

As a student there, he also discovered the plays of August Wilson through a partnership with another local theater company.

[rebelmouse-image 19345923 dam="1" original_size="1024x809" caption="August Wilson. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company/Flickr." expand=1]August Wilson. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company/Flickr.

Wilson was an African-American renowned for “Century Cycle,” a series of 10 interconnected plays that explore the black experience in America, each across a different decade of the 21st century. Ramkissoon was particularly drawn to the character of Troy Maxson in the award-winning play (and now movie) “Fences.”

“I was a high school dropout. I know what it means to feel like you’re on first base,” Ramkissoon said, referring to one of Maxson’s monologues in the play. “I thought it was amazing that [the character] had the courage to want to make it to second base — not to get home, but just to go to second base.”

Ramkissoon got involved in the August Wilson Monologue Competition, a national theater contest organized by Tony Award-winner Kenny Leon.

His performance of Troy Maxson’s moving monologue was good enough to earn him a spot in the national finals — on the set of Leon’s Broadway production of “A Raisin in the Sun,” where he got to perform for people like Denzel Washington.

"For many of our students through the city, being invisible is the way of safety and surviving," said one teacher from Boston Day and Evening Academy. "Yet these young people [like Trinidad] ... find their voices and courageously say, 'see me and hear the truth that I have to tell.'"

“The fact that my voice gets to be heard on this platform… These are all opportunities that kids like us don’t get,” he told the Boston Globe on the eve of the finals. “I already won.”

[rebelmouse-image 19345924 dam="1" original_size="500x509" caption="Trinidad Ramkissoon, in back, on his way to the August Wilson Monologue Competition. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company." expand=1]Trinidad Ramkissoon, in back, on his way to the August Wilson Monologue Competition. Photo via Huntington Theatre Company.

Ramkissoon didn’t end up winning the national competition — but he did get to be the speaker when he graduated high school.

Students like Ramkissoon who come from lower socioeconomic statuses are more than 30% more likely to pursue a bachelor’s degree if they’ve experienced a high-arts education. They’re also twice as likely to choose a major that aligns them with a professional career, even if it’s not related to the theater.

But, perhaps most importantly, a theater education can mean the difference between a life on the streets and a life fulfilled, where talented people like Trinidad Ramkissoon can live up to their potential and become a part of something bigger than themselves.

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How dancing helped these inmates to find freedom in prison.

Women at the South Middlesex Correctional Center don’t have much freedom to move.

But twice a week, a small group gathers in the cafeteria at the prison prison outside Boston. And they dance.

All photos in this story by Heidi Shin, used with permission.

22-year old dancer Christine says the dancing is a chance “to express yourself, and to feel normal” in a place where you don’t have many choices.

Dancers stretch before a challenging routine.

The women are part of a program called Moving Steps, where professional dancers help inmates choreograph their own routines — hip-hop, ballet, and modern dance.

A few times a year, they also stage performances in the prison cafeteria.

Former inmates dancing freestyle during a Friday night rehearsal in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Scarves, which the women wanted to use for their performances, were banned in the prison because they were seen as a risk during the holidays, when depression and thoughts of suicide were more likely to rise among the inmates.

Makeup had been banned, too, so the women got creative during performances, turning bedsheets into makeshift scarves and using glitter from the ornaments on the Christmas trees as eye shadow.

The dance group serves as a kind of support group for the women both on the “inside” and once they’ve transitioned to the outside world.

Coming together to work through their choreography is like a support group, the women say.

It's a way of overcoming past traumas, too — many have been survivors of violence and abuse in the past.

Some have children in the outside world. Others have family members who they haven’t spoken with in some time. For them, the performances can also mark a family reunion of sorts.

On the day of the performance, visitors push their IDs through a bulletproof window and wait to be ushered inside.

Other inmates file in to watch, too. “I think [my grandma] was crying,” Christine says. “She thought it was awesome. She was really proud of me. Because she’s seen me how I was before, before all the issues started.”

Adrianne Tabet acts not just as the program's director, but also as den mother.

Adrianne Tabet, the group’s program director, watches a studio rehearsal in Cambridge.

Last year, when Tabet faced hip surgery, the women rallied to send her handmade cards. After the performance, she visits with one group and then the next, praising the accomplishments of the women to the family members who've come to watch.

The program isn’t just a new start for the inmates, either.

One former instructor was a recently retired dancer from Jose Mateo's ballet company, a professional dance troupe in Boston.

Instructor Mary Teuscher is a professional dancer who volunteers with Moving Steps.

Given the physical strain of dancing, ballet dancers often retire young. So volunteering while studying to become a dance therapist is a way of launching a new career for some instructors as well.

The program doesn't end when women are released from prison.

In fact, Tabet says their dance group is most critical as women re-enter the world. They continue to gather on Friday nights at a dance studio in Cambridge.

Dance practice in Cambridge.

A dancer shows off a few moves.

One member of the group prepares for an upcoming performance in Harvard Square.

As they transition to “life on the outside” the dance group gives some sense of stability.

In addition to dancing, most of the women in the group are now working jobs in food service — one of the few industries likely to give people with criminal records a second chance. Christine says she’s chosen to keep dancing after leaving prison because “it’s something to look forward to, commit to, and to stay on the right path.”

Next up, Tabet hopes to launch a dance program for kids of incarcerated mothers to help them cope with the stresses of being separated from their parents.