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Formerly 'awkward' person shares the 5 tricks he learned to become 'engaging' in 30 days

"I decided to treat every convo like an experiment, collect data on what actually makes people light up."

A man and woman having a good conversation.

Do you get nervous in social situations because you’re not quite sure what to say? Do you dread exchanging hellos and then having an uncomfortable silence follow? Are you impressed by people who walk through social situations with confidence, who never seem to be at a loss for words, and whose company everyone seems to enjoy?

The good news is that if you are someone who feels socially awkward, you can overcome your discomfort by learning some basic communication tips that'll drastically improve your conversations. All it takes is studying the habits social butterflies use to be engaging conversationalists.

conversation, party, drinks, social situation, attention, listening Some friends talking at a party.via Canva/Photos

A Reddit user named Turbulent-Photo, who was admittedly awkward, began using some new conversational techniques, and in only 30 days, they went from being “awkward” to engaging. They shared the new skills they learned in a post on the Social Skills subforum. “I used to panic when someone asked a simple question like 'how's your day?' I’d give a one-word answer, then dip out. Then I decided to treat every convo like an experiment, collect data on what actually makes ppl light up,” they wrote before sharing five conversation hacks that helped them become a better conversationalist.

Note: The conversation tips have been edited for grammar and clarity.

Five conversation hacks to help you go from awkward to engaging

1. Active listening: “Instead of planning my next line, I just focused on their words, body language, tone, and it worked, mirroring their posture or repeating a key phrase (‘you said u love hiking?’), making them feel heard, and they open up.”

This trick is backed by science. Research shows that if you ask someone a question and two follow-up questions, it dramatically increases how likable you are. “We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors wrote. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

conversation, party, drinks, social situation, attention, listening A man and a woman chatting at a party.via Canva/Photos

2. Asking open-ended questions: Ditch ‘Did u have a good weekend?’ Try 'What was the highlight of your weekend?’ Suddenly they share stories, not just yes/no crap, and you got real convo material to build on.”

3. Storytelling: “Once I shared a 10-second tale bout freezing at the coffee shop, then joking with the barista, and people actually laughed. Vulnerability + humor = instant connection feels real.”

4. Body language: “I used to cross arms, look at the floor, classic ‘go away’ vibes. Then I uncrossed my arms, leaned in, kept my chest open, and people mirrored me back. Conversations flow even before I talk.”

Research shows that when someone likes you, they mirror your body language and movements. For example, if you’re seated, and the person likes you, they will mirror your seated posture. If you change your posture and then they adapt, it could be a big clue that someone likes you.

5. Affirmations: “‘That's a great point’ or ‘I hadn't thought of it that way’ cost nothing but boosts rapport big time.”

The interesting part about the five rules the Redditor shared is that most of them don’t involve you being the center of attention or having to wow the room with your amazing stories and anecdotes. It’s just about being a good listener, standing with intentional body language, and asking the right questions. Then, when you do take a moment to speak up, you’ll have an attentive conversation partner hanging on every word. Because you made them feel so comfortable and heard, they're happy to extend you the same courtesy.

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Ad Council + Understood.org

What if you could see what life is like through someone else's eyes — just by playing an easy online game?

Like a word challenge! Seems simple enough.

Copying sentences? No sweat! (Right?)


OK. Maybe these games aren't so easy after all.

These games were designed by Understood.org to give people a sense of what it's like to have a learning or attention issue. Check out the video for more:

Understood.org created this series of simulations to help put parents and others in the shoes of children with learning and attention issues.

The simulation series, called Through Your Child's Eyes, is an interactive set of games designed to represent the challenges that many kids with learning and attention issues face. Learning and attention issues are brain-based difficulties in reading, writing, math, organization, focus, listening comprehension, social skills, motor skills, or a combination of these. Dyslexia and ADHD are some examples of common learning and attention issues.

After conducting extensive research with over 2,200 parents, Understood.org found that one theme kept coming up over and over again — the parents of these kids simply wanted to understand what their children were going through.

Let's face it: There are many misconceptions surrounding the topic. Some people think that learning and attention issues are an indicator of low IQ or that kids will outgrow them — not the case at all. In fact, kids with learning and attention issues can have above-average intelligence and even be gifted. If parents, teachers, and all of us can better understand the challenges these issues can create, we can better provide kids with the support they need to thrive in school and in life.

It's also crucial to understand that not all learning and attention issues are the same.

Perhaps a child has trouble recognizing certain words in a sentence. Or maybe dealing with numbers is what's giving them difficulty. Or maybe they're having a hard time paying attention in class.

Whatever the case may be, Through Your Child's Eyes addresses each scenario by separating the simulations into five different categories — reading, writing, attention, math, and organization. By experiencing each one, users get a much better sense of the specific challenges that accompany them.

More than just immersive games, Through Your Child's Eyes also offers practical solutions for parents to help their kids reach their fullest potential.

One of the most important ones is establishing a continuous dialogue with children about what they're going through. In this case, talking about everything at once might not be the best course of action. Rather, it's a process that needs to be addressed and adjusted on a regular basis, throughout a child’s journey.

Through Your Child's Eyes also has videos of children from preschool to grade 12 telling stories about their own experiences dealing with learning and attention issues. It’s a much more personal look into the challenges they face, along with the support from parents and teachers that made a difference to them — in their own words. After all, every child is unique.

That's why Understood.org gives parents a chance to customize their program in order to get more personalized resources and advice from experts and parents just like them.

It's a simple concept, but it can have a profound effect on a parent's point of view.

One loving mother definitely had her eyes opened. "I get it now, or at least I am beginning to," she told Understood.org. "My heart is a little lighter as I know that I have just found a key to unlocking my understanding and relatability to my precious children. ... I can’t wait to put into practice some of the new tools that I have just been equipped with!"

When they have a supportive network on their side, parents are able to create a more supportive environment at home and work hand-in-hand with teachers to make sure the best possible steps are being taken to nurture their children's gifts.

This only makes it easier for kids to be themselves and instills the kind of confidence that every kid should naturally have with them — every single day.

Curious to try the games for yourself? You can play all of them right here.