Teacher goes viral after sharing signs of 'subtle bullying' she sees in her classroom
These behaviors might be harder to spot, but just as important to stop in their tracks.
Whetehr subtle or over, bullying cannot be tolerated
When we think of bullying, we might first picture wedgies, dunking heads in toilets, stuffing folks in lockers…the kind of stuff you’d see in virtually every kid’s movie in the 90s.
But in real life, bullying can be much more insidious.
Ms. C, a teacher who previously went viral for sharing the high school cliques that have endured the test of time, recently coined a term for this type of behavior, which she called “subtle bullying,” and explained what it might look like in a classroom.“Here's what it looks like, a student that is less popular, maybe has a disability, will be talking and a kid who is a bully will be looking at all of his friends across the room and snickering and making little faces,” she says in the video.
“I will lose it if I see that,” she continues, saying that while she is “chill” with a lot of things, like cursing, eating in class, student’s addressing her by her first name, even sass to a certain degree, this is her “number one” behavior that will not be tolerated.
To address the issue, Ms. C usually stands “directly by the bully's desk and stares them in the eyes the whole time that other student is talking.” Or she’ll throw them out of the room. The only other time she might do that is if there’s a safety threat. And it seems clear that in her opinion, subtle bullying is a safety threat.
“If you are a teacher and you are not fiercely protecting your most vulnerable students, what are you doing?” she concludes.
@stillateacher basically we’re gonna learn and respect each other #teacher #teachertok #teachersoftiktok #highschoolteacher #teacherlife ♬ original sound - Ms. C
Subtle bullying, according to Ms C, also includes “racism, sexism, homophobia,” which warrants “an intense one-on-one conversation” that hopefully resolves the issue. But if it doesn’t, she gets others involved until the student recognizes the comment was “unacceptable.”
Ms C’s video got a lot of comments from fellow teachers confirming how common this type of bullying is, or anecdotes from folks who were on the receiving end of it.
“The subtle bullying is such an issue. I saw it so much when I subbed,” one person wrote.
Another added, “I’m so glad you can actually spot subtle bullying like that. My teachers would actively tell me it wasn’t happening when I’d try to talk to them about it.”
“Subtle bullying is so bad! We did karaoke in class and had to stop because of popular bullies 'encouraging' and recording,'' one person shared, while another wrote, “Subtle bullying for seven years took me most of a decade to get over. Ruins your self confidence. You are changing lives!”
Subtle bullying might be harder to spot, but it’s every bit as damaging as physical violence or name-calling, and therefore every bit as important to address. In a follow-up video, Ms C. offers a helpful tip for teachers when it comes to spotting this type of behavior.
She suggests giving students a survey where they answer if there’s anyone one they’d rather not sit by (tell them it is completely confidential). If there is a student who has been bullying others, their name will come up repeatedly. Obviously it’s not a foolproof perfect strategy, but it’s a starting point.
The one constant in bullying, whether it’s subtle or overt, is that it’s not acceptable. And it’s the responsibility of the adults in a child’s life—parents, faulty, teachers—to make sure that it doesn’t become a habit that carries over into adulthood.
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- Mom discovers her daughter is bullying kids over their clothes and asks for help - Upworthy ›
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"Now your fishes will be warmed."
"To have one’s eyes lined with ham."
"To lay your head in water."
"Repetition teaches the donkey."
"I only understand train station."
"To speak directly from the liver."
"Horse horse, tiger tiger."
Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
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Thank goodness this story has a happy ending.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."