Ideal conditions is a myth.
People who tend to put things off, even things they really want to do or achieve, are often plagued with a host of unhelpful thought patterns. "Once this happens, then I'll start…" "When I become more XYZ, then I'll really lock in…" "If only this and that were different, I'd be able to start…"
Those If/When/Once thoughts keep us stuck in inertia as we wait for the ideal conditions to make forward movement in our lives. But as New England artist and creator Carly Wanner-Hyde explains in a viral video, the entire idea of "ideal conditions" is a myth. By talking to herself, she offers an example of challenging an unhelpful thought and developing a more helpful thought process.
"Hey, dude," she says to herself. "What are you waiting for?"
"Ideal conditions," she responds. Sound familiar?
@thegnarliestcarly take it if it resonates :) you’ve got this. . #selfimprovement #senseofself #reflections #learningexperience #growthmindset
"If I wait for the ideal conditions, it won't be as scary," she says, "and I'll be less likely to fail and feel the pain of devoting myself to something and not achieving the outcome that I specified in my brain."
She responds to herself with a compassionate smile, which prompts her to break down the reality that challenges that thought.
"'Ideal' conditions don't actually exist," she says. "And the time will pass whether I do this thing now or not. And fear is just something that my subconscious is using to keep me safe from what it doesn't know yet, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of doing it."
As she reframes the thought and moves into a more helpful process, her alter-self keeps listening with the same quiet, compassionate encouragement.
"And I can ask myself, 'What's the smallest step that I can take towards making this thing happen?' And instead of putting pressure on myself for me to be exactly perfect at doing this thing so that I can 'justify' the time and energy that I spend on it, I can devote myself to the process of it and trust that as I take each small step, the path will continue to unfold.
The path reveals itself as you walk it. Photo credit: Canva
"And that none of this really matters, and one day I won't be here, and me putting something off is just me keeping me from accessing parts of myself that I want to grow into. And I don't need to assign the outcome right now as either a win or a loss because I don't even know what the full outcome is yet. This might just be something that I get to engage with and experience and learn from.
"I deserve to give myself the gift of engaging with my potential through curiosity rather than clamping down on it through fear of failure. Holding myself to this standard of perfection is just a way of keeping me from growing in all the ways that I can right now and creates judgment for myself that I don't deserve. Because I deserve to engage with the world in the ways that I can serve it, and perfectionism doesn't help that."
Judging from the comments, many people needed to hear this message themselves. So many people confessed that they'd wasted entire decades of their lives waiting for "ideal conditions" before realizing they didn't exist. As one person wrote, "You gotta knock it off with all this truth telling. It's making me actually… do something."
@thegnarliestcarly take it if it resonates :) #selfimprovement #senseofself #reflections #learningexperience #growthmindset
Wanner-Hyde has had similar "Hey, dude" videos go viral, from "ideal version of myself" to "feeling sad." Part of why her videos resonate is that she's not lecturing the audience, but rather demonstrating what a healthy internal process can look like.
"I think that part of being human is recognizing ourselves in the reflections of other beings," she tells Upworthy. "Sometimes we just need a little space made for us to feel seen, to slow down and let the thoughts catch up, and to know that we're not alone in what we're going through."
She hopes that her videos remind people how connected we all are and "help people find a little bit of ease within themselves, and comfort in knowing that their experiences are shared by so many others."
Wanner-Hyde says she's working on a podcast to explore these kinds of common threads of the human experience, which will be coming out in early 2026.
You can follow her for more on TikTok.