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Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids

"I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

Image via Canva/PeopleImages

Boomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.

Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don't always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them "excessively gifting" their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her "Boomer grandparent" experience in a funny and relatable video. "Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of 'treasures' into her home," she wrote in the overlay.

Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady's is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

@nps.in.a.pod

Today's "treasure" highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery... #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

Grady captioned the video, "Today's 'treasure' highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery..."

The humorous video resonated with with fellow Millennial parents. "Straight to the trash when they leave," one viewer commented. Another added, "I always say 'if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours' 😂."

Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. "Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don't want to be ungrateful but we just don't need it and don't have the space. I have brought this up politely in 'we are all out of drawers for that' but it hasn't slowed things down," one explained. "I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don't get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead."

Another Millennial parent shared, "While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume - as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm

How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? "Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren," Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. "These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get."

Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the "why" behind the gifting. "What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much," she explains. "Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions."

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She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. "Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren," she suggests.

She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. "Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents," says Goodman. "Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites."

boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids.Image via Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be is the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. "Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over—a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks," she says. "Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like."

Identity

A Christmas PSA: Please be mindful about what gifts Santa brings your kids

A mom is asking people to consider the bigger picture when deciding what Santa will deliver to your house.

Mary Katherine Backstrom/Facebook, Photo by Samuel Holt on Unsplash

Mary Katherine Backstrom makes a strong argument for keeping Santa gifts simple.

Every family has its own traditions and ways of doing things around the holidays, from cooking specific foods to engaging in specific cultural rituals to how the myth of Santa gets handled. In general, it's wise to live and let live when it comes to such things, but one mom is making a strong case for rethinking what gifts Santa brings kids for Christmas in the larger context of community.

Mary Katherine Backstrom has been posting a public service announcement of sorts every year for the past decade, asking people to be mindful about other families' economic realities and how a family's Santa gifts can impact other people's children. Her message makes perfect sense, but it's something people who have never struggled financially might never consider.

"My annual PSA from a child who grew up poor," Backstrom captioned her video plea. She began by sharing that her parents separated when she was little, and she lived with her mom, who didn't always have the means to give her kids a lot for Christmas.

"Every Christmas, I would split my time between my mom and my dad," she said, explaining that her dad's side of the family had a lot of money. She would see her cousins getting thousands of dollars in gifts from Santa, while her gifts from Santa at home were far more modest. So she would go from being happy with what she'd received to questioning why Santa didn't think she'd been good enough to receive the expensive gifts he brought her cousins.

"There is seriously nothing wrong with what you can give your child for Christmas. It doesn't matter. That's not the point," she said. "But when we tell children that Santa Claus brings all of our gifts, what happens is kids like me and other children who don't have as many things will see other children getting all of these expensive toys and they'll wonder what they did wrong."

As Backstrom points out, children are naturally going to compare; that's developmentally appropriate. Kids are also very aware of what's fair and what's not, so when Santa lavishes some children with expensive presents and gives other kids a lot less, the kids whose parents don't have as much end up questioning their goodness through no fault of their own.

Watch Backstrom share her story (starting at the 2:00 minute mark):

Many people in the comments expressed gratitude for the message, saying that they, too, were the kid who thought Santa didn't like them.

"I was that child too," shared one commenter. "I hated when school started back after Christmas and the teacher would go around the room and ask everyone to tell what they got for Christmas. It was painful and humiliating. I thought I was the only one who hated how Christmas was such a stressful time."

"I remember very clearly my friend that lived next door getting everything on her letter to santa and I didnt understand why santa hated me! I agree 100%!!" offered another.

"100% CORRECT! I was also that child and yes, I wondered if I wasn't a good enough girl to deserve the same things Santa was bringing the other children," wrote another.

Other people shared that they had simply never thought of this aspect of Christmas giving and they were thankful for the widened perspective.

"Thank you for opening my eyes. I wish I had thought about this when I was Santa!!" wrote one commenter.

"I never thought of it like this. It really has opened my eyes and heart... You are so insightful and wise. Thank you," shared another.

"I love your honesty. I never thought about this when my son believed in Santa. I wish I had," wrote another.

Unfortunately, not everyone received the kind and gentle plea with grace and understanding. Some doubled down on their "right" to have Santa bring whatever gifts they darn well please. Backstrom posted a blunt follow-up video pointing out that she was speaking from her own lived experience, not sharing some hypothetical what-if with no basis in reality.

"This PSA is telling you that you are hurting children when you associate Santa Claus with expensive gifts," she said. "I'm not gonna be delicate about this anymore, because I've been doing this PSA for 10 years now and I still get people arguing with me about it. There is nothing to argue here. We are talking about children's feelings."

Backstrom pointed to the number of people in the comments who shared that they were hurt by expensive Santa gifts as a child to illustrate that this is, actually, a real issue. And the solution is simple: Keep Santa simple and let the expensive gifts come from parents or other family members. It's really not a lot to ask to preserve a little holiday magic for kids who don't have much instead of making them question why Santa doesn't think they're good enough. Santa is a tradition millions of people share—let's keep that collective reality in mind and keep the fun in it for everyone.

You can follow Mary Katherine Backstrom for more on Facebook.

Pop Culture

12 kitschy, gimmicky gifts people actually use and love

Give a gift that brings a smile to their face but will also get used. Win win.

From remote page turners to tortilla blankets, these gifts are crowd pleasers

As an Amazon Associate, Upworthy may earn proceeds from items purchased that are linked to this article, at no additional cost to you.

Have you ever gotten a gimmicky gadget that you thought for sure you'd use but ends up sitting in a drawer or cabinet for years until you finally decide to ditch it? Or how about the opposite? Have you ever gotten a gag gift that turned out to be something truly useful and beloved?

Giving someone a funny present can be hit or miss, but when you manage to strike the balance between grin-inducing and practical, you've got a winning gift on your hands.

A person in the Grown and Flown parenting group on Facebook asked what dumb, gimmicky gifts parents had given their teens and young adults that they actually use and love. The responses started pouring in, and soon a treasure trove of fun gift ideas that might actually be worth it was created.


Here are 12 of the most hearted items people shared, and the best thing is most of them are under $20.

Check these out:

1. Motion-activated toilet bowl night light

toilet bowl night light

No more accidental misses in the middle of the night.

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Nobody wants to turn on a light in the bathroom when they stumble to the toilet in the middle of the night, and the plug-in night lights don't always light up the toilet enough to help with aim. Problem solved.

Find the motion-activated toilet bowl light on Amazon.

2. BlueTooth Sleep Mask Headphones

images of sleep mask with bluetooth headphones

Fall asleep to music or audiobooks in comfort without disturbing anyone.

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If you've ever tried to sleep on your side with earbuds in or headphones on, you'll immediately see the usefulness of this. But it's also great for working out in the cold if you use it as a headband/ear warmer instead of a sleep mask.

Find the BlueTooth Sleep Mask Headphones on Amazon.

3. Croc Headlights

crocs with lights on them

Light up nighttime walks with these babies.

amazon.com

Love them or hate them, Crocs have made a comeback with all kinds of accessories to decorate them. These headlights might come in handy during a power outage or just if you're looking for a little extra safety when walking in the dark.

Find Croc headlights on Amazon here.

4. That Shirt Folder Thingy

shirt folder and neatly folded shirts

No excuses for messy drawers.

amazon.com

This simple device creates a perfectly folded shirt in just a few seconds. It's fun to use and makes you feel like a laundry superstar. And since it lies flat, it can easily be tucked under a bed or behind a dresser or bookcase when not in use.

Find the shirt folder on Amazon.

5. Battery-operated Handheld Milk Frother

milk frothing wand

Who needs steam to make a latte?

amazon.com

With 4.5 stars out of over 200,000 reviews, you can't go wrong with this kitchen gadget. Frothy foam feels like a luxurious treat atop a coffee or hot cocoa, and this frother makes it quick and simple without taking up a bunch of space on the counter.

Find the milk frother with stand on Amazon.

6. Giant Tortilla Blanket

blanket that looks like at tortilla

This looks exactly like a burrito, but it's actually a huge, fluffy blanket.

amazon.com

Turn yourself or your loved ones into a fluffy burrito with this 71-inch tortilla blanket. I know it looks strange. But 4.8 stars out of 65,000 reviews on Amazon and rave reviews by the Grown and Flown folks are solid testimonies. Apparently, it's very soft and cozy.

Find the tortilla blanket on Amazon here.

7. Blue IKEA Bag Rain Hat

blue IKEA rain hat

The iconic blue IKEA bag taken to the next level.

amazon.com

IKEA's big blue bags are famous for their cheap, durable, weatherproof usefulness for moving lots of stuff—particularly among college students. This kitschy rain hat is no less weatherproof and useful in addition to being a conversation piece. People love it.

Find the IKEA rain hat on Amazon.

8. Remote Kindle Page Turner

remote control and kindle device

Turn the page without having to pull your hand out of the blanket.

amazon.com

If your first thought is "Why does it need to be easier to turn the page on a Kindle when it's just a click," you're not alone. But the mom who shared this said her daughter loves it because she likes to read in bed with her arms all cozied up under a blanket. This allows her to turn the page without exposing her hands. Works with iPads and other tablets as well.

Find the Kindle remote page turner.

9. Electric Fly Swatters

electric fly swatters

Zap those flies.

amazon.com

Last year we had an out-of-the-blue fly problem that required the big guns. These are the big guns. So much more effective than a traditional fly swatter.

Find the electronic fly swatter 2-pack on Amazon.

10. GripStic Reusable Bag Clips

Gripstic bag sealers

So much better—and neater—than traditional chip clips.

amazon.com

People rave about these things. One reviewer wrote, "ABSOLUTELY keeps food fresher for longer! Worth every penny!" and another said they work even better than Ziploc bags. With 10,000 reviews and 4.8 stars, it's a surefire hit.

Find the GripStic bag sealers on Amazon here.

11. Pet Hair Remover

pet hair remover

It's like a supercharged, highly effective lint roller.

amazon.com

I can personally vouch for this one since I bought one myself. This thing gets hair that the vacuum misses. Super helpful for getting cat and dog hair off of furniture lickety split, and getting the hair out of it is really easy.

Find the pet hair remover on Amazon.

12. The Clapper

The clapper electrical plug

Those of us in a certain age will immediately start singing, "CLAP ON (clap clap) CLAP OFF (clap clap)…"

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It's a classic. Clap on! Clap off! It's like the OG smart device, only without the concerns about corporations spying on our conversations. Convenient and simple. Can't go wrong.

Find The Clapper on Amazon here.

Hope that helped with your holiday lists and white elephant gift exchanges!

Moms don't have to be hard to shop for. Here are gifts she'll love.

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Every year, moms put on their elf hats and become Santa's helpers. They shop for and wrap the family's presents, cook the holiday meal, organize the crafts and even set out cookies for the big guy. They're so busy making the holiday season magical for their family that oftentimes they don't get any time to rest.


So this year, we've carefully selected five items for mom that you can grab without braving the cold and crowds. These gifts are sure to be just what Santa's helper needs to rejuvenate after the festivities. Plus, 10% of sales made through this gift guide will be donated to the organizations The Magnolia Mother's Trust and the SeekHer Foundation, to help even more moms this holiday season.

1. Baloo Weighted Blanket

It's hard to go wrong with a weighted blanket. They can help with anxiety and sleep because the pressure from the blanket helps to calm your heart rate and slow your breathing. Baloo’s weighted blankets come in several sizes, including a throw blanket so mom can cuddle up on the couch. Plus Baloo donates a portion of its proceeds to Pajama Program, a nonprofit that provides books, sleep health education and caring connections to kids facing adversity.

2. Conscious Step Scented Candles

Conscious Step scented candles are amazing! They smell fantastic and support multiple causes, so if mom has a cause that's near to her heart, you can grab a candle that supports it. The candle Starry Seas supports Oceana, the largest advocacy organization focused on oceans, while the candle Love and Limes helps to support The Trevor Project, an organization that offers a lifeline to LGBTQ youth.

3. Mindsight Breathing Buddha

This little guy is so cute and the perfect gift for a mom trying to get relief from the stress and anxiety of the holidays (or any days). The Mindsight Breathing Buddha helps with mindfulness by serving as a guide for open-eyed meditation—when the belly is green you inhale, purple you hold and blue you exhale—making meditation much less complicated and easy to do between cookie decorating parties. Plus it doubles as a great natural sleep aid, to help mom wind down after a day filled with demanding kids (and partners).

4. Wearwell Cozy Moccasin Slippers

Why, hello warm feet. Kids may not know, but spouses certainly do—mom’s feet are notoriously always cold and are generally warmed up on the back or legs of their unsuspecting partner. You can do mom a solid by making sure her toes stay toasty with these super comfortable and stylish Wearwell Cozy Moccasins.

5. Burt's Bees Calming Night Cream

Who doesn't love a good moisturizer that serves a double purpose? This Burt's Bees Calming Night Cream is perfect for moms with sensitive skin, plus it will help her get some quality rest after long winter days. It's made with aloe and rice milk for amazing hydration while mom sleeps.

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