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Modern Families

Grandma offers wake-up call for grandparents who can't stop buying the grandkids presents

She's got the perfect solution for what to do when you just can't pass up a great deal at the store.

@morethangrand/TikTok
Gift giving should feel good for the giver and the receiver. But around the holidays, it can be a major cause of stress.

Parents and grandparents find themselves at odds frequently. It could be a disagreement over how much screen time the kids get, battles over grandma giving them too many sweets, or arguments around how often grandma and grandpa should be babysitting. Conflict in their relationships is almost a given, and navigating disagreements in a healthy, productive way is key for the relationship to evolve and grow.

One huge source of that conflict comes in the form of... stuff! All parents can relate to the sense of dread they feel at the sight of the grandparents arriving for a visit with a trunk-full of of presents. Toys, furniture, costumes, decor, you name it. And that's just on a regular Tuesday. Around the holidays, it can get even worse. It's not that they don't want their kids getting gifts, it's just all too much, especially when you live in a home with a finite amount of storage.

DeeDee Moore, a grandma behind the website More Than Grand, recently shared on the her TikTok account that “too much stuff” given from grandparents to their grandkids is one of the main sources of holiday frustration for parents.


 gift guide for grandparents, christmas gifts, in law at christmas, grandparents, parents, kids, family, love Moore says experience gifts, and spending quality time, are better options than trunk-loads of presents.  Photo by Christian Bowen on Unsplash  

“75% of the parents that we surveyed wished grandparents would respect their wishes about gifts,” she explained, noting that while there are myriad reasons why this would be the case, the most common one (and incidentally the one most "waved off” by the grandparents) is the lack of physical space to accommodate.

Now, you might be thinking: How much harm can it really do to give a kid a new card game or a baby doll? Certainly those don't take up that much room. But when Moore breaks down the math, it’s a bit hard to deny.

“Say your grandson has four other grandparents and four aunts and uncles. Each of these people get him one gift for a second birthday. That’s already nine gifts plus something for mom and dad. We’re up to 10,” she said.

“If all of those grandparents buy him three things, and two of the aunts get him a little extra something, that’s 22 presents for a 2 year old who would be just as happy with a box.”

Add in gifts from friends, and random gift-dumps from grandma when she's been on a hot-streak at the thrift store, and you've got a serious storage problem on your hands.

@morethangrand

Gifts should be a joy for both the giver and recipient, but at this time of year, they can end up being a source of conflict. Watch for a tip on how to channel your grandparent generosity! For more ways to navigate hotspots during upcoming holidays, make sure you are on our email list! Go to my bio to sign up! #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandma#newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting

Yikes, gotta admit that’s a lot. And that’s not counting the additional problems too much gift-giving can incite listed on the More Than Grand website, which included:

  • Undermining the parent’s values that they are trying to instill to their children
  • Damaging a child’s ability to use their imagination
  • Normalizing overconsumption
  • Teaching children to associate seeing grandma or grandpa with getting a gift, rather than focusing on the actual relationship
(Here's another one: Too many gifts steals Mom and Dad's thunder! Parents often put a lot of thought into picking out presents they know their kids will love, only for them to get buried in the avalanche of surprise presents.)

These are all good points, and yet, what to do with all those good intentions and a desire to spoil some precious little nugget? Luckily, Moore has the perfect fix.

“While your grandchildren are faced with getting too many gifts, many children are in the opposite situation. Take some of the things you bought to Toys for Tots or another organization that provides gifts for less fortunate families.”

This allows folks to step into the “true spirit of giving,” Moore concluded.

Viewers by and large seemed to agree, though many also noted how powerful experiential or future-building gifts could be, even if they're not as cute as toys or as fun to open.


@morethangrand

How often do we hear "it takes a village to raise a child'? Grandparents can be that village, but it can be hard to show up the way today's parents need. We created a digital grandparenting course that will teach you everything you need to know to be the village for your grandchild's parents. It's called New Grandparent Essentials, and you can find a link in my profile! It's the best investment you can make in your family as you become a grandparent! #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting

“My in-laws opened up a college fund for both my kids. Instead of stuff they put more money in the account. I’m so grateful!” one person wrote.

Another added, “I am giving experiences and putting money in an account for future needs (college, 1st house, starting business, etc).”

In the vein, here are two other tips grandparents can use for intentional gift-giving…

First and foremost: open up a discussion with the parents. See if they need help with a big ticket item, find out which hobby or sport the child is interested in, ask what’s a definite “no.” this can save a lot of headaches for everyone.

"The gifts should surprise the grandkids, not their parents," as one commenter wrote on the video.

Second: prioritize memories over stuff. A trip to the zoo, an education membership, a ticket for two to the movies…these are often the gifts that truly keep on giving.

And grandparents, don’t forget: just because you’re honoring boundaries, it doesn't mean you have to pass up that sweet little something you see in the aisles. After all, shopping is fun, and it's even better when you find a great deal or a cool discovery. But it can easily go to a little one who could really use it.

For even more tip on all things grandparenting, give More Than Grand a follow here.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.


Pop Culture

12 kitschy, gimmicky gifts people actually use and love

Give a gift that brings a smile to their face but will also get used. Win win.

From remote page turners to tortilla blankets, these gifts are crowd pleasers

As an Amazon Associate, Upworthy may earn proceeds from items purchased that are linked to this article, at no additional cost to you.

Have you ever gotten a gimmicky gadget that you thought for sure you'd use but ends up sitting in a drawer or cabinet for years until you finally decide to ditch it? Or how about the opposite? Have you ever gotten a gag gift that turned out to be something truly useful and beloved?

Giving someone a funny present can be hit or miss, but when you manage to strike the balance between grin-inducing and practical, you've got a winning gift on your hands.

A person in the Grown and Flown parenting group on Facebook asked what dumb, gimmicky gifts parents had given their teens and young adults that they actually use and love. The responses started pouring in, and soon a treasure trove of fun gift ideas that might actually be worth it was created.


Here are 12 of the most hearted items people shared, and the best thing is most of them are under $20.

Check these out:

1. Motion-activated toilet bowl night light

toilet bowl night light

No more accidental misses in the middle of the night.

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Nobody wants to turn on a light in the bathroom when they stumble to the toilet in the middle of the night, and the plug-in night lights don't always light up the toilet enough to help with aim. Problem solved.

Find the motion-activated toilet bowl light on Amazon.

2. BlueTooth Sleep Mask Headphones

images of sleep mask with bluetooth headphones

Fall asleep to music or audiobooks in comfort without disturbing anyone.

amazon.com

If you've ever tried to sleep on your side with earbuds in or headphones on, you'll immediately see the usefulness of this. But it's also great for working out in the cold if you use it as a headband/ear warmer instead of a sleep mask.

Find the BlueTooth Sleep Mask Headphones on Amazon.

3. Croc Headlights

crocs with lights on them

Light up nighttime walks with these babies.

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Love them or hate them, Crocs have made a comeback with all kinds of accessories to decorate them. These headlights might come in handy during a power outage or just if you're looking for a little extra safety when walking in the dark.

Find Croc headlights on Amazon here.

4. That Shirt Folder Thingy

shirt folder and neatly folded shirts

No excuses for messy drawers.

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This simple device creates a perfectly folded shirt in just a few seconds. It's fun to use and makes you feel like a laundry superstar. And since it lies flat, it can easily be tucked under a bed or behind a dresser or bookcase when not in use.

Find the shirt folder on Amazon.

5. Battery-operated Handheld Milk Frother

milk frothing wand

Who needs steam to make a latte?

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With 4.5 stars out of over 200,000 reviews, you can't go wrong with this kitchen gadget. Frothy foam feels like a luxurious treat atop a coffee or hot cocoa, and this frother makes it quick and simple without taking up a bunch of space on the counter.

Find the milk frother with stand on Amazon.

6. Giant Tortilla Blanket

blanket that looks like at tortilla

This looks exactly like a burrito, but it's actually a huge, fluffy blanket.

amazon.com

Turn yourself or your loved ones into a fluffy burrito with this 71-inch tortilla blanket. I know it looks strange. But 4.8 stars out of 65,000 reviews on Amazon and rave reviews by the Grown and Flown folks are solid testimonies. Apparently, it's very soft and cozy.

Find the tortilla blanket on Amazon here.

7. Blue IKEA Bag Rain Hat

blue IKEA rain hat

The iconic blue IKEA bag taken to the next level.

amazon.com

IKEA's big blue bags are famous for their cheap, durable, weatherproof usefulness for moving lots of stuff—particularly among college students. This kitschy rain hat is no less weatherproof and useful in addition to being a conversation piece. People love it.

Find the IKEA rain hat on Amazon.

8. Remote Kindle Page Turner

remote control and kindle device

Turn the page without having to pull your hand out of the blanket.

amazon.com

If your first thought is "Why does it need to be easier to turn the page on a Kindle when it's just a click," you're not alone. But the mom who shared this said her daughter loves it because she likes to read in bed with her arms all cozied up under a blanket. This allows her to turn the page without exposing her hands. Works with iPads and other tablets as well.

Find the Kindle remote page turner.

9. Electric Fly Swatters

electric fly swatters

Zap those flies.

amazon.com

Last year we had an out-of-the-blue fly problem that required the big guns. These are the big guns. So much more effective than a traditional fly swatter.

Find the electronic fly swatter 2-pack on Amazon.

10. GripStic Reusable Bag Clips

Gripstic bag sealers

So much better—and neater—than traditional chip clips.

amazon.com

People rave about these things. One reviewer wrote, "ABSOLUTELY keeps food fresher for longer! Worth every penny!" and another said they work even better than Ziploc bags. With 10,000 reviews and 4.8 stars, it's a surefire hit.

Find the GripStic bag sealers on Amazon here.

11. Pet Hair Remover

pet hair remover

It's like a supercharged, highly effective lint roller.

amazon.com

I can personally vouch for this one since I bought one myself. This thing gets hair that the vacuum misses. Super helpful for getting cat and dog hair off of furniture lickety split, and getting the hair out of it is really easy.

Find the pet hair remover on Amazon.

12. The Clapper

The clapper electrical plug

Those of us in a certain age will immediately start singing, "CLAP ON (clap clap) CLAP OFF (clap clap)…"

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It's a classic. Clap on! Clap off! It's like the OG smart device, only without the concerns about corporations spying on our conversations. Convenient and simple. Can't go wrong.

Find The Clapper on Amazon here.

Hope that helped with your holiday lists and white elephant gift exchanges!

Moms don't have to be hard to shop for. Here are gifts she'll love.

True

Every year, moms put on their elf hats and become Santa's helpers. They shop for and wrap the family's presents, cook the holiday meal, organize the crafts and even set out cookies for the big guy. They're so busy making the holiday season magical for their family that oftentimes they don't get any time to rest.


So this year, we've carefully selected five items for mom that you can grab without braving the cold and crowds. These gifts are sure to be just what Santa's helper needs to rejuvenate after the festivities. Plus, 10% of sales made through this gift guide will be donated to the organizations The Magnolia Mother's Trust and the SeekHer Foundation, to help even more moms this holiday season.

1. Baloo Weighted Blanket

It's hard to go wrong with a weighted blanket. They can help with anxiety and sleep because the pressure from the blanket helps to calm your heart rate and slow your breathing. Baloo’s weighted blankets come in several sizes, including a throw blanket so mom can cuddle up on the couch. Plus Baloo donates a portion of its proceeds to Pajama Program, a nonprofit that provides books, sleep health education and caring connections to kids facing adversity.

2. Conscious Step Scented Candles

Conscious Step scented candles are amazing! They smell fantastic and support multiple causes, so if mom has a cause that's near to her heart, you can grab a candle that supports it. The candle Starry Seas supports Oceana, the largest advocacy organization focused on oceans, while the candle Love and Limes helps to support The Trevor Project, an organization that offers a lifeline to LGBTQ youth.

3. Mindsight Breathing Buddha

This little guy is so cute and the perfect gift for a mom trying to get relief from the stress and anxiety of the holidays (or any days). The Mindsight Breathing Buddha helps with mindfulness by serving as a guide for open-eyed meditation—when the belly is green you inhale, purple you hold and blue you exhale—making meditation much less complicated and easy to do between cookie decorating parties. Plus it doubles as a great natural sleep aid, to help mom wind down after a day filled with demanding kids (and partners).

4. Wearwell Cozy Moccasin Slippers

Why, hello warm feet. Kids may not know, but spouses certainly do—mom’s feet are notoriously always cold and are generally warmed up on the back or legs of their unsuspecting partner. You can do mom a solid by making sure her toes stay toasty with these super comfortable and stylish Wearwell Cozy Moccasins.

5. Burt's Bees Calming Night Cream

Who doesn't love a good moisturizer that serves a double purpose? This Burt's Bees Calming Night Cream is perfect for moms with sensitive skin, plus it will help her get some quality rest after long winter days. It's made with aloe and rice milk for amazing hydration while mom sleeps.

Upworthy has earned revenue through a partnership and/or may earn a portion of sales revenue from purchases made through links on our site.

Amazon

Can't go wrong with these funny cat-themed books.

As an Amazon Associate, Upworthy may earn proceeds from items purchased that are linked to this article, at no additional cost to you.

Hey there, fellow cat people and people who know cat people!

If you're here, there's a good chance you know a quirky cat lover or are one yourself, and what a delight. Cats are simply the best creatures, a perfect blend of grace, strength, agility and delightful derpiness. They're beautiful, soft little weirdos, affectionate when they want to be, aloof when they don't and notoriously independent.

Cats are superior and they know it, which is hilarious. We may talk about guard dogs, but only a fool would mess with a cat.

Cat people are cat people because they revel in cats' unique personalities and appreciate their idiosyncrasies. But that doesn't mean they love all cat-related things.


Let's say you want to buy a cat person a gift but don't want it to be a kiddie stuffed animal or kitschy ceramic cat figurine that will just collect dust. Let's also say your cat person also has a fabulous sense of humor. What do you get them?

How about an unexpectedly hilarious cat-themed book? Like, how could you go wrong with this:

"Crafting With Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make With Your Cat"

by Kaori Tsutaya

"Crafting With Cat Hair"

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Amazon description: "Got fur balls? Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, then it’s time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! Crafting With Cat Hair shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour—with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!"

That description is so adorably earnest. Do people really do cat hair crafts? I would buy this book for someone just to see the look on their face.

If that's a little too gaggy for you, how about this one?

"How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives"

by Zachary Auburn

"How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety"

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Amazon description: "For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”

Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!"

(Yes, it's satire. Nobody actually give your cat a gun, please.)

Are you familiar with The Oatmeal? This book from the famous website was a #1 NYT Bestseller.

"How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You"

by The Oatmeal/Matthew Inman

cat book

"How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You"

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Amazon description: "If your cat is kneading you, that's not a sign of affection. Your cat is actually checking your internal organs for weakness. If your cat brings you a dead animal, this isn't a gift. It's a warning. How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a hilarious, brilliant offering of comics, facts, and instructional guides about crazy cat behaviors from the creative wonderland at The Oatmeal."

Seriously, The Oatmeal is so funny. If that title alone didn't make you chortle, surely this one will:

"I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats"

by Francesco Marciuliano

cat poetry

"I Could Pee on This and Other Poems by Cats"

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Amazon description: "Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry."

And finally, the cat butts. I came *this* close to dropping "Cat Butthole Coloring Book: Cat Butts for Cat Lovers" in here, but I couldn't quite stomach the imagery. This one is still hilarious, but a bit more palatable:

"Butts, Bleps and Beans Cat Coloring Book"

by Lizzie Preston

cat coloring book

"Butts, Bleps and Beans Cat Coloring Book"

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Amazon description: "The fact that cats used to be worshipped as gods in ancient Egypt might have you think they always act regal and sophisticated. Well, you’d be wrong. Sometimes they just can’t help baring their bums, sticking out their tongues, or acting ridiculous. And we love them for it! Have fun coloring in all the amusingly quirky cats inside this artfully designed cat coloring book for adults."

(We have a cat who insists on sticking her butt in my face every time she climbs onto my lap. I try not to take it personally.)

Cat gifts for cat lovers should be as quirky and funny and unpredictable as cats themselves, and every one of these books fits that bill.

Upworthy may earn a proceed from sales of the items included in this article