upworthy

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via KGW-TV / YouTube

NBC correspondent Maggie Vespa

One of the major differences between women and men is that women are often judged based on their looks rather than their character or abilities. "Men as well as women tend to establish the worth of individual women primarily by the way their body looks, research shows. We do not do this when we evaluate men," Naomi Ellemers Ph.D. wrote in Psychology Today.

Dr. Ellers believes that this tendency to judge a woman solely on her looks causes them to be seen as an object rather than a person. "As a result of focusing on their outwardly visible features, we are tempted to overlook their inner states, ignore markers of their intentions, beliefs, and desires, and less likely to empathize with their plight," Ellers continued.

Women in the spotlight are constantly being judged based on their looks rather than their performance in a given field. Serena Williams once won the French Open but all the press was about what she wore on the court.

For example, Hillary Clinton has been constantly being criticized throughout her political life for what she wore or her hair style rather than her accomplishments.

Maggie Vespa, a news anchor at KGW-TV in Portland, was criticized for how she dresses by a male viewer, so she brilliantly took the incident and used it as a way to talk about the double standards women face.

Maggie Vespa, Portland, NBC, Chicago, sexism, twitter, X The sexist message Maggie Vespa receivedTwitter

"Just wanted to let you know that the clothes you've been wearing, especially those crazy pants that ride half way up your torso, are not cool looking, in any way!," Jeffrey, a male viewer, wrote to Vespa on Facebook. You're way too pretty to look so foolish."

The next day, he sent her another message. "OMG, you really looked uncomfortably tonight. Try dressing like a normal woman. Doesn't KGW pay you enough for a wardrobe makeover?" Jeffrey wrote.

Maggie Vespa, Portland, Chicago, sexism, twitter, X Another sexist message sent to Maggie VespaTwitter

Vespa posted about the emails on social media and received hundreds of responses, so she carved out a few minutes to discuss the situation on the news.

"Let's just get this out of the way at the top. This is dumb," Vespa responded.

There was no way she was going to start dressing for the male gaze.

"These are my pants. I like them. I bought them."

Maggie went on to show photos of five different pairs of high-waisted pants that she wore in the week following Jeffrey's messages. Maggie's colleagues also got in on it, donning high-waisted pants to show their support.

Maggie Vespa, NBC, Portland, Chicago, Twitter, sexism Maggie Vespa in her previous newsroom via KGW-TV / YouTube

Vespa said the harassment "hit a nerve" with people on social media who used it as an opportunity to discuss "the pressure women obviously face, especially those in the public eye to embody the epitome of physical attractiveness at all times."

"If we don't, it's somehow seen as a sign that we're less credible or less capable and, by and large, guys don't have to deal with this," Vespa continued. " As my awesome male coworkers can and have attested to."

Vespa then brilliantly spun the harassment into an empowering message for women.

"Our goal here is to send a message, to women, to girls, to everyone: Dress how you want, look how you want, and if anybody tries to make you feel less than because of that, that's their problem, not yours," Vespa said.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

totsionna/Instagram

Woman surprises handyman who helped her with birthday cake.

Everyone needs a good handyman for those big (or small) projects around the house. Whether it's a task you've been avoiding or requires a skill you simply can't perform, they are there to save the day. So when Totsionna (@totsionna) went searching for a handyman on Facebook to help her unmount a large TV in her home, she found Reggie (@qualitylabor614).

After she booked him, she saw on his profile that the day he was set to unmount her TV was his birthday. So, she decided to surprise him with a birthday cake–even though he was a total stranger.

"Booked a guy on Facebook to unmount my TV & seen it was his birthday," she captioned the video of her epic surprise for him.

In the video, she walks into her living room where Reggie and his co-worker are getting to work unmounting the TV. And in her hands she is holding a birthday cake with white and yellow icing that says 'Happy Birthday Reggie' on it with six lit candles. Once she turns the corner, she says, "Happy Birthday, Reggie!"

Once he sees it, a smile lights up across his face, and he tells her, "You're crazy!" She hands him the cakes and says, "Here you go!" And he responds, "Appreciate it."

He takes the cake in one hand, and puts his drill in the other. They all begin to sing 'Happy Birthday' to him, and Reggie's co-worker pulls out his phone to record the special moment. Everyone is beaming and taking in the moment. Reggie blows the candles out, and his co-worker is so touched that he tells Totsionna sweetly, "Thank you so much!" Totsionna laughs and jokingly ribs him about why he's saying thank you given it wasn't even his birthday surprise. But he is clearly touched by her kind and thoughtful gesture.

Reggie notes that it is Ramadan so he can't enjoy the cake just yet, but he will. Totsionna's friend asks Reggie how old he turned, and he replies that he is 30. "That's a big one!" she says. Totsionna asks him what he's doing to celebrate, and he says he has something planned in two weeks. He invites her to join, and she says, "I'll come!"

Totsionna's heartfelt birthday surprise was praised by viewers.

"homie gon think about ts all his life 💯💯this was so sweet !!" one commented.

"'Why you sayin thank you?' lol he appreciates the love being shown, and the energy rubbed off! ❤️ We love you Tot you always doin random cool sh*t."

"This so wholesome and he saying thank you cause he was happy for him he just enjoying the moment 😂 😂😂😂."

Another touched viewer summed up her good deed perfectly: "I love people who are considerate of others💚 who would’ve thought to come to work and receive a birthday cake from a stranger basically? This speaks volumes about your personality. I think we did a great job with helping to make this special person famous🏅. 🫡💜🔥👍🏾."

Pop Culture

Sports? The Royal Family? Joe Rogan? 15 things people can’t believe adults take seriously.

"Sports. I get it. It's entertainment. But calm down. You aren't on the team."

Should adults take sports or Joe Rogan so seriously?

When we take a look at humanity, there are countless things we take seriously, that may not matter in the grand scheme of things. Many of us also have a soft spot for ideas that aren’t exactly scientific.

No one is perfect, and it's okay for us to take pleasure in being invested in some forms of inconsequential entertainment simply because they are fun. The trouble comes when people waste their lives and resources on ridiculous things that do more harm than good.

The key idea is that no one is immune from taking something seriously that others may think is a waste of time. But, to each their own or vive la différence as the French put it.


A Redditor who goes by the username Hogw33d asked the AskReddit forum, “What is something you can't believe real grownup people take seriously?” Many people responded that they don’t understand how some people can invest so much time and energy into things they deem frivolous.

The list was a great way for some to vent but it also provides a solid skeptics guide to some of the pitfalls we may unwillingly fall into in life.

Here are 15 things people “can’t believe” that “real grownup people take seriously.”

​1. Community theater

"This is niche but community theatre. The DRAMA among grown adults is insane, worse than when I was in high school. Like yall, we are singing and dancing and wearing silly costumes. It’s not that serious." — MediocreVideo1893

2. MLMs (multi-level marketing)

"I just don't understand how people keep falling for it. They always think that there's a difference. It's all the same pyramid scheme y'all." — IsItTurkeyNeckorDick

"I think we should take them way more seriously. They can do massive damage to a person's financial and mental health. We need to stop treating them as a cute thing that naive people get sucked into, and ban them for the scam they are." — Hydro123456

3. Flat Earthers

"I think it actually started as a sort of debating society. Just for people to practice and become better at rhetoric. But, they actually convinced some people and now, this is what we have." — Addicus

"There’s one of those apocryphal quotes that goes along the lines of, 'Any group of people that get their laughs pretending to be idiots is bound to be taken over by actual idiots who think they’ve found good company." — RilohKeen

4. Social media outrage

"Social media in general. Too many people believe every clickbait headline or buy into whatever trend is taking over. Feels like people can't self soothe and need the validation or something, it's just weird." — Cynn13

"'Outrage over Z' 'People slam Y' And it's only like a few people on Twitter or Reddit and they present it as some huge backlash or major issue lol." — Sclubadubdub

"The political news channels do almost nothing other than this. They tell viewers the other party is outraged about something that you never find a real person outraged by and create culture wars that no one is actually fighting." — Herbdontana

5. Reality TV

"It's all fake, too. An acquaintance of mine works at a major studio. Those shows are all scripted and fake." — SpaceMoneky3301967

6. Sports fans

"People take being a fan of a sport (or team) way too seriously, imo. I promise you don't need to riot because 'your team' lost." — AdmirableProgress743

"My husband works himself into such a state over something he can't control and is, imo, of absolutely no consequence to his life. He's toned it down because I told him the screaming and cursing terrorize me and our daughter. But he stews and mutters obscenities." — Complex_Yam_5390

7. Scientology

"Might as well just say every religion. They're all coocoo bonkers." — JenniferC1714

8. Gossip

"Gossip in general. I live in a small town and it is maddening how people here are so serious about it. It's not light fun chatting, it's all SCANDAL and we need to take ACTION. I swear a lot of people's problems would be immediately solved if they just stopped giving a sh*t what everyone else does (to an extent)." — Buffalopantry

9. Facebook

"My mom will literally call me up if I didn't like a recent post of hers. There have been a few times where she asked why I didn't like every photo she just posted. It's maddening. I've also had periods of deactivating my fb only for my mom to guilt me into reactivating it." — Zealousideal_Mix6771

10. Billionaire 'geniuses'

"Elon Musk and other billionaire 'geniuses.' People are pretty freaking gullible." — GladysSchwartz23

"Most average people don’t realize that being incredibly smart doesn’t automatically mean you are good at doing things like running a large company. They tend to assume people at the top must be there based on merit. In reality, there are some massively stupid people running huge companies, and there some brilliant people who are shoveling shit for a living." — Captcha_Trampstamp

11. The royal family

"I have a news app on my phone and no matter how much I tweak my interest to avoid any gossip BS I still get "Breaking News! Some insignificant bullshit about the Royals". It's not news, it's not interesting, stop reporting this utter drivel." — Sclubadubdub

12. Religion

“The creator of the universe impregnated a virgin, only to deliberately kill the child 30 years later, to save people from…himself.” — Opteryx5

"I grew up figuring everyone was just roleplaying and was shocked to learn religion is taken seriously by many people. It was a real eye-opener for someone who grew up in a secular environment." — Kilterboard_addict

13. Vaccine skeptics

"I work in medicine and am starting to get really worried about the vaccine skepticism. It used to be a little more rare, so I would counsel, they spout incorrect information, I tell give a little retort/response, and then move on because time is tight. But now it’s happening so often that I’m working way harder to persuade because I feel a strong obligation to fight all the bullshit info that has obviously taken hold." — KellyNJames

14. Loud exhaust systems on cars

"As someone who lives next to traffic lights and can hear all y'all shi**y music and loud exhausts all day... I approve this message." — Rainbow-Singbird

15. Joe Rogan

"The whole 'I’m just an idiot don’t pay any attention to what I say' schtick doesn’t really work anymore." — FoucaultsPrudendum

"It was great when he had a guest that was in academia, like a physicist or something. I would skip over most of the comedy buddy circle jerks he would host. Then when COVID happened I had to stop entirely. He fully went off the deep end then. Still, he introduced me to Dan Carlin's work, for which I am very grateful." — Xczechir

Grayscale photo of woman in bikini.

Facebook has been a great place for people to bare all when it comes to their emotions. But when it comes to baring all with regards to bodies, Facebook has always seemed as if they’d rather people bare none of it. Facebook has received criticism for over-sexualizing breasts, but a new recommendation from Meta’s advisory board says the nipples can come out for nonbinary users.

Recently, Facebook censored two posts from a transgender and nonbinary couple that featured the couple appearing topless. Even though their nipples were covered, an AI system took the photos down for "violating the Sexual Solicitation Community Standard" after they were flagged by a human user. The couple appealed to Meta, and the photos were reinstated, but it was enough to catch the attention of Meta’s oversight board, which advises Meta on content moderation policies and is made up of academics, politicians and journalists.


After looking at the issue, the oversight board suggested Meta change their Adult Nudity and Sexual Activity Community Standards "so that it is governed by clear criteria that respect international human rights standards."

According to the board, Meta’s policy was "based on a binary view of gender and a distinction between male and female bodies," making it "unclear" in how it deals with intersex, nonbinary and transgender users.

"We are constantly evolving our policies to help make our platforms safer for everyone," a spokesperson from Meta told The Guardian. "We know more can be done to support the LGBTQ+ community, and that means working with experts and LGBTQ+ advocacy organizations on a range of issues and product improvements."

How free the nipples should be on the social media platform has been a source of contention for more than a decade. Breastfeeding moms have been leading the battle of the boob, duking it out with Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg over their ability to share nursing photos on social media. They’ve gone so far as holding a "nurse in" at Facebook headquarters to protest the ban on breasts.

woman, breast

Woman holding her hand over her breast.

Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

In 2020, Instagram loosened up its nudity policy thanks to a campaign started by Nyome Nicholas-Williams. While nipples are still a no-no, Instagram now allows breast cupping, hugging, and holding. And in 2021, the oversight board gave the okay for "health related nudity," allowing for photos of nips if they’re related to things like breastfeeding, birth-giving, breast cancer awareness, or gender-confirming surgery. Acts of protest are allowed as well.

Facebook has received criticism for the platform being lax on hate speech but tough on boobs. Meta CEO Mark Zuckerburg has said this is because it's "easier to build an AI system to detect a nipple than what is hate speech," which might explain why Meta is going to use "human reviewers" to "quickly assess both a user’s sex, as this policy applies to 'female nipples,' and their gender identity," according to the board.

Topless man with black background.

Photo by Дмитрий Хрусталев-Григорьев on Unsplash

The new nipple rules are only applicable to transgender and nonbinary users. "The same image of female-presenting nipples would be prohibited if posted by a cisgender woman but permitted if posted by an individual self-identifying as nonbinary," the board noted in its decision.

While the nipple might not fully be free on Facebook, it has taken one large step forward out of its cage. However, Facebook’s over-sexualization of breasts might just be a reflection of society, and in order for the nipple to run wild and out in the open, we might need to change the way people think about breasts in general.