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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
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america ferrera

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America Ferrera plays a mom of a teen girl in "Barbie."

"It is literally impossible to be a woman."

At some point, most women find themselves confronted with the truth of those words, along with the 300 or so that follow them in America Ferrera's monologue scene in "Barbie."

The "impossible to be a woman" monologue has been a major talking point of the film, with parts or all of it being shared widely on social media, and when you read it—especially if you are a woman, but even if you aren't—it's easy to see why.


It's hard to explain the context of the scene in which she gives the speech without giving away too much of the plot, but let's just say that Barbie is going through an existential crisis and Ferrera is talking to her (but also to her young teen daughter, and to all women, and to everyone, really).

Here's the text in full:

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.

It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."

Phew. So many of us saw ourselves in what she described.

"There's no woman in my life who those words aren't true for," Ferrera told The Los Angeles Times. "Not a single one. And when we hear the truth, it hits in a certain way, and you can't unhear it."

But it wasn't just a moving moment for women. The film's creator and writer of the monologue, Greta Gerwig, told Variety about what it was like on set during the filming, "When America was giving her beautiful speech, I was just sobbing, and then I looked around and I realized everybody’s crying on the set. The men are crying, too, because they have their own speech they feel they can’t ever give, you know? And they have their twin tightrope, which is also painful. There’s something about some of these structures that are just, you know, ‘Somebody make me stop!’ That’s sort of, I suppose, the feeling behind Ken.”

Why do we do this to ourselves? Or rather, why do we allow the amorphous, intangible entity "society" to do this to us? The contradictory expectations we feel compelled to meet even while railing against them are maddening. But they exist, so we either strive to meet them, which we can't, or we expend energy constantly fighting off the messaging that makes us want to meet them. It's exhausting either way.

And that last line—"Ifall of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know." Dang. Let's just sit with that for a minute.

Well done, Greta Gerwig, for nailing the reality of womanhood.

(And if that monologue doesn't make you cry, don't worry. Billie Eilish's original song for the film that rolls during the credits will probably do it. Gracious.)

Most Shared

The Academy's new member class is way more diverse than ever before. Finally.

The Academy's new member class looks way different than years past.

By now, you've probably got the memo: The Oscars are really white.

That goes for Academy members, award nominees, and Renee Zellweger's dress from 2004.


You were amazing in "Cold Mountain," Renee. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Earlier this year, not a single person of color was nominated in any of the acting categories. The same happened in 2015.

And it wasn't as though there weren't plenty of deserving non-white candidates.

Idris Elba in "Beast of No Nation" was one of the standout snubs this year. Photo by Adrian Sanchez-Gonzalez/AFP/Getty Images.

Sadly, the past two years weren't anomalies; the Oscars have a long history of being far too monochromatic, so to speak.

The acting nods in 2015 and 2016, however, were so strikingly lily white, the internet couldn't help but call it like it is.

Thus, #OscarsSoWhite became a thing.


The hashtag, started on Twitter by April Reign last year, became a viral outcry demanding the Academy do something — anything! — to start acknowledging actors of color and their stories on Hollywood's biggest night of the year.

And, believe it or not, it looks like those efforts are starting to pay off.

The Academy just released a list of new members invited to join this year, and it's more diverse than ever before.

Of the 683 individuals invited to become Academy members — the people whose votes actually decide who's nominated — 41% are people of color and 46% are women (because, yes, the Academy has an enormous gender gap problem too).

Those figures are unprecedented.


The new membership class certainly doesn't solve the Oscars' diversity problem, of course. But it's a huge step forward.

It'll take some time for the Academy's demographics to shift enough to accurately reflect the real world, seeing as there's more than 6,000 voting members, and the group overall largely consists of people you'd expect to see in the waiting lounge of an outlet shopping mall: older, white, straight males.

GIF from "Gran Torino."

With the diverse makeup of the incoming class joining the ranks, the Academy will go from 8% to 11% people of color overall. And that's significant.

Although that increase may seem measly, a three-percentage point hike in just one year isn't anything to shrug at.

We just need to make sure the trend keeps going in the right direction. Because fair media representation is about more than just diversity for the sake of diversity — the films and TV we watch affect how we see ourselves and the world around us.

What's the best part about the new member class? Learning who got invited into the exclusive club.

"Star Wars'" John Boyega, for instance, made the cut.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.

So did "Ugly Betty's" America Ferrera.

Photo by Rick Kern/Getty Images for Entertainment Weekly.

And "Lost's" Daniel Dae Kim.

Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.

It appears the Academy is also making efforts to include more LGBTQ talents as well, with Lilly and Lana Wachowski — directors of "The Matrix" who are both transgender — receiving member invites this year.

If we can learn anything about the new Academy membership class, it's that, yes, hashtags do have power.

People like to scoff at the idea of hashtag-activism — and there's certainly reasons why hashtag activism might be a flawed method of evoking tangible change — but as evidenced by the results of #OscarsSoWhite, viral movements can make a real world difference.

Sometimes, a single tweet — like the one below — can spark the biggest, most influential institutions to change.


It will take time and effort to ensure the people winning Oscars look more like the actual audience tuning in.

But judging from this year's new membership class, we're on the right path.

It might be a challenge,” Academy President Cheryl Boone Isaacs told The Hollywood Reporter of ensuring diversity throughout the years to come. “But we are continuing to keep that pedal to the metal.”

Let's get real: Actor America Ferrera is a badass.

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for The Critics' Choice Award.


When she's not batting down sexist, racist interview questions and inspiring students to let their voices be heard at the ballot box...

Ferrera chats with students in Nevada about voting. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

...she's nailing acceptance speeches at fancy award shows.

Like, for instance, at the Eleanor Roosevelt Global Women’s Rights Awards, put on by the Feminist Majority Foundation on May 9, 2016, in West Hollywood.


Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.

Ferrera was one of four women honored at the event for having "contributed greatly to advancing the human rights of women and girls" across the U.S. and world.

And rightly so.

Her acceptance speech touched on several points — most notably, the importance of role models, particularly for women and people of color:

"It’s not easy out there for most of us who don’t look like the one thing you are supposed to look like in [the entertainment] industry — to find roles that honor our intelligence and our humanity and our passion, and our real-life roles," she said, according to BuzzFeed.

Ferrera shared a personal story about a young girl whose telling experience is a tough one to forget (emphasis added):

"I was moderating a conversation once among young women, and there was something that a young girl said that has really stayed with me. She stood up and she asked one of our panelists ... 'I was on the chess team. I was really good. But I was the only girl on the chess team, and it felt hard to be there, so I quit.' And I haven’t been able to shake that. Because if we can’t get our young girls to stay in the room for the chess team, how are we gonna get them to stay in the room to be leaders in business, leaders in politics, leaders in medicine, leaders in science?"

Ferrera gets it. Because we have to do a better job at showing girls they can be whatever they want to be — not just talking the talk.

Glass ceilings still exist in far too many places (even if most have a few cracks in them). And for women of color, sometimes that glass can feel more like concrete.

Women are underrepresented in most science and math fields. They're far outnumbered in business leadership positions. The entertainment industry Ferrera touched upon? Yeah, it's overwhelmingly controlled by powerful, old white guys. And although there's a record number of women in the U.S. Senate, that figure is still inexcusably low, at just 20 out of 100 available seats.

Elizabeth Warren is one of the 20 women in the U.S. Senate. Photo by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images.

Sure, progress is happening across many of these fields but way too slowly. One recent study, for instance, found it will take another century for women to have equal representation in top positions of corporate America. (The big culprit? Gender bias.)

We have to get better at fighting back against sexismin the workplace and on our TV screens and make sure every girl knows there's a seat for her at whatever table she wants to sit at.

It shouldn't matter if it's the chess club or the White House — women should have more role models showing them that yes, they can. And it's on all of us to make it happen.

Let's take a hint from Ferrera — who'd been "a tiny Latina in California with an outsize dream that nobody really saw as possible for [her]" — and make sureevery kid can see a glimpse of their best future selves in the world around them.


Photo by Jonathan Leibson/Getty Images for AOL.


Yesterday, presidential candidate Jeb Bush tweeted this:


(Fun fact: The gun in the picture was made by the American subsidiary of a Belgian company that made guns for the Nazis in World War II. The only way Jeb's gun could be less "American" is if it was photographed shooting flaming bullets at an American-flag bikini.)

I know what you're thinking. Probably something like, "Why would ... how did ... that's not ... whaaaaaa...???"


To which I respond: "Yes. Indeed. Welcome to the party. Grab yourself a drink."

The response to Jeb!'s tweet was ... mixed.

Some responded bluntly.

While others responded in kind, posting images of weapons that they thought represented the spirit of other great nations and fictional planets:

Comedian Cameron Esposito took the opportunity to say perhaps America is better represented with images like this:


That's Dr. Mae Jemison, the first African-American woman in space.

Naturally, many were quick to point out the problematic nature of using a gun to represent a country that has a massive and unflinching gun problem.

In 2015 alone, about 13,000 people were killed by guns in the United States, which isn't exactly something to be cavalier or patriotic about.

Whether you think America is about guns or diversity or a shockingly wide variety of Oreo flavors, one thing became clear in the wake of Bush's tweet: It's pretty hard to sum up America in a single image. But that's not going to stop us from trying.

Here are 13 images that inspire love for America way more than a gun.

We all love this big, beautiful, imperfect country. So why not take this opportunity to appreciate some of the things about America that actually are cool and inspiring and patriotic?

1. How about this picture of the U.S. women's soccer team winning the World Cup?

America. Photo by Rich Lam/Getty Images.

Tell me that didn't make you want to wrap yourself in an American flag and run around screaming, "We're the best in the world when it pertains to kicking balls into designated goals!" or something to that effect. America.

2. Or this photo of Neil Armstrong walking on the moon?

America. Photo by NASA/Newsmakers

That's right. Italy might have amazing food and Japan has those nifty sleeping pods, but WE'VE BEEN TO THE MOON. I hear Brazil has beautiful beaches. That's cool. WE WALKED ON THE FREAKING MOON. Ireland has some cool cliffs. America? MOON.

3. What about a photo of American singer/songwriter Bill Withers?

America. Photo via Columbia Records/Wikimedia Commons.

If Bill Withers doesn't make you love America, nothing will. Bill Withers wrote "Lean on Me." Can you fathom that for a second? He sat down and wrote "LEAN ON ME!" When he released "Ain't No Sunshine" in 1971, every human being on the planet should've been lining up just to grab a handful of the American soil that sprouted this national treasure.

4. Or hey, how about TV and film actress America Ferrera?

America. Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images.

Not only is she a talented and socially conscious actress bringing some much-needed diversity to primetime television, but her name is America! Her literal name is America. When she makes a reservation at a restaurant, someone has to actually yell out, "Table for America?" That's a table I want to sit at every night.

5. Here's another great one: The Wright Brothers taking the first flight.

America. Photo by Central Press/Getty Images.

Yeah. That happened. Other countries were cool just staying on the ground, but Wilbur and Orville Wright said: "Screw that. Let's take to the skies. America!" That's what they actually said. Seriously! Look it up. Don't look it up.

6. Or remember this "miracle" from the 1980 Olympics?

America. Photo by Steve Powell/Getty Images.

You may also remember it as the day everyone was literally weeping red, white, and blue tears. Team USA defeated Russia in ice hockey at the Olympics and, in doing so, basically ended the Cold War. Which is cooler than Jeb's engraved gun by a factor of several infinities.

7. Beyoncé. End of statement.


America. Photo by Buda Mendes/Getty Images.

America was founded to get away from the rule of monarchs. Despite that, one American woman continues to reign supreme. Beyonce isn't just a singer, songwriter, and actress. She's royalty. Long live the queen. Long live America.

8. This kid eating fried butter.

America. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

You name it, we fry it. Fried chicken? Duh. Fried shrimp? Easy. How about fried Oreos, Twinkies, and literal sticks of butter? Only in America do we have the true grit to batter up a stick of butter, fry it, and call it food. Sure, it's disgusting. But you know what's more disgusting than deep-frying a stick of butter? Not having the right to do so in the first place.

9. Thanksgiving.

America. Photo by General Photographic Agency/Getty Images.

Also known as "The Greatest Holiday in the World," Thanksgiving is the day where Americans get together and celebrate food and family while politely ignoring the holiday's genocidal origins and our implicit contribution to that embarrassing time in American history. It's simply the most American day there is.

10. Ruth Bader Ginsburg.


America. Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images.

The Ginsburger. Notorious RBG. Ruthy-Bades. Her record speaks for itself. Pro-gay-rights, pro-choice, and a pro at being awesome. In her 23 years as a Supreme Court justice, she has voted on the right side of history nearly every single time. She's one of the primary torchbearers of American progress, and she's doing it all without owning an engraved weapon. Although I do like to imagine that she owns a pair of "RBG"-inscribed nunchaku.

11. The Grand F***ing Canyon.

America. Photo by Joe Klamar/AFP/Getty Images.

Two things happen when you visit the Grand Canyon. The first is that you're struck by its size and pristine majesty. The second is that you realize you've actually been saluting the entire time, while gently reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in your head.

12. All this beautiful corn.

America. Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images.

Forget baseball. Corn is America's actual pastime. We grow it, we eat it, we put it in EVERYTHING. And we love it. American bodies are basically made out of corn. If the average American had a husk and a cob, we could go out to Nebraska, gently sway in the wind, and return to our truest form.

13. Finally, the Puppy Bowl.

America. Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images for Discovery Communications.

The Puppy Bowl. What can I even say about this? When the Founding Fathers got together and dreamed up the idea of a nation founded on freedom, liberty, and everything good and just in the world, they had no idea how seriously we would take it. The Puppy Bowl, a self-explanatory event that takes place annually at the same time as the Super Bowl, is the American dream incarnate. Sports. TV. Puppies. Don't even think about it. Just put on your American flag sweatpants, grab a medium-cooked burger, sit back, and enjoy.

America isn't about guns.

That seems obvious to most of us. In fact, Jeb probably knows that, too, and only posted the tweet to pander to a conservative base. He doesn't actually think a picture of a gun is what America is really about.

But it's still hard to get around the fact that a picture of a gun represents something way more troubling than inspiring.

America is a big place with lots of problems. But sometimes, it helps to appreciate its triumphs.