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Pop Culture

We can't get enough of America Ferrera's 'impossible to be a woman' monologue in 'Barbie'

She gave voice to what so many women feel but can't articulate.

America Ferrera in Barbie
Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube

America Ferrera plays a mom of a teen girl in "Barbie."

"It is literally impossible to be a woman."

At some point, most women find themselves confronted with the truth of those words, along with the 300 or so that follow them in America Ferrera's monologue scene in "Barbie."

The "impossible to be a woman" monologue has been a major talking point of the film, with parts or all of it being shared widely on social media, and when you read it—especially if you are a woman, but even if you aren't—it's easy to see why.

It's hard to explain the context of the scene in which she gives the speech without giving away too much of the plot, but let's just say that Barbie is going through an existential crisis and Ferrera is talking to her (but also to her young teen daughter, and to all women, and to everyone, really).

Here's the text in full:

"It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line.

It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know."

Phew. So many of us saw ourselves in what she described.

"There's no woman in my life who those words aren't true for," Ferrera told The Los Angeles Times. "Not a single one. And when we hear the truth, it hits in a certain way, and you can't unhear it."

But it wasn't just a moving moment for women. The film's creator and writer of the monologue, Greta Gerwig, told Variety about what it was like on set during the filming, "When America was giving her beautiful speech, I was just sobbing, and then I looked around and I realized everybody’s crying on the set. The men are crying, too, because they have their own speech they feel they can’t ever give, you know? And they have their twin tightrope, which is also painful. There’s something about some of these structures that are just, you know, ‘Somebody make me stop!’ That’s sort of, I suppose, the feeling behind Ken.”

Why do we do this to ourselves? Or rather, why do we allow the amorphous, intangible entity "society" to do this to us? The contradictory expectations we feel compelled to meet even while railing against them are maddening. But they exist, so we either strive to meet them, which we can't, or we expend energy constantly fighting off the messaging that makes us want to meet them. It's exhausting either way.

And that last line—"Ifall of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know." Dang. Let's just sit with that for a minute.

Well done, Greta Gerwig, for nailing the reality of womanhood.

(And if that monologue doesn't make you cry, don't worry. Billie Eilish's original song for the film that rolls during the credits will probably do it. Gracious.)

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Pets

The most inspiring pet stories of 2024

Leading pet brand Nulo knows every cat and dog has the power to be incredible.

via Keswick Mountain Rescue Team/Instagram, Cat Protection/Youtube

Incredible pets deserve incredible food.

2024 was a year filled with heartwarming stories that reminded us of the incredible bond between humans and their furry companions. From acts of bravery to heartwarming gestures, these pets made a huge impact on the lives of their owners… and the lives of many, many more.

It’s stories like these that continue to inspire leading pet nutrition brand Nulo, which is committed to helping pets live their best lives with functional, delicious and nutritious food. Through their innovative and intentional formulas, Nulo fuels incredible cats and dogs just like the ones below each and every day.

Enjoy some stories below of 2024’s goodest boys and girls — courageous dogs, trauma-informed kitties and much, much more —that really show the unwavering love and loyalty animals bring into our lives. Their inspiring actions fuel incredible.

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When a 71-year-old man went unconscious and collapsed during a steep hike, his golden retriever and a black labrador instinctively broke up into a rescue team — the smart and resourceful labrador going off to look for help, and the loyal goldie staying by its owner's side. Sometimes it’s smart to have two of “man’s best friends.”

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Marley, a seven-year-old, black and white feline known for his "incredible gift of empathy” won Cat Protection's National Cat of the Year 2024 for the way he comforts women who have been enslaved, exploited and trafficked and staying at the Caritas Bakhita Safe House in London. He’s known to often leave a reassuring paw on guests’ legs to “let them know they’re not alone,” a gesture often called “the first kindness they’ve experienced in years.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

In early 2024, Kobe, a four-year-old husky with an extraordinary sense of smell, began digging obsessively in the yard. At first the pooch’s owner, Chanell Bell, thought this was just typical behavior, but soon discovered that Kobe had indeed detected a dangerously large cloud of natural gas that would have not only been seriously life-threatening to her, but the entire neighborhood. It’s like they say, “the nose knows.”

Eight-year-old golden retriever Roger, may have failed his drug-sniffing training in Taiwan, but it turns out he has a knack for rescue operations during natural disasters. After a 7.4-magnitude earthquake struck, Roger dug through the rubble of a collapsed building to locate the body of one of the 13 people killed in the quake, offering closure to a grieving family. This earned him the nickname of “the pride of Taiwan” on social media.

Dogs don’t only save humans — sometimes they rescue other animals as well.

When folks scrolling through the X account called “Animals Dying” saw a video of a creature swimming through murky water with a deer fawn in its jaws, they probably assumed it was an alligator enjoying its latest meal. But to everyone’s surprise and delight, it was actually a Labrador Retriever making sure the sweet little fawn didn’t drown.

Once a stray, 12-year-old Cilla found her home at Outwoods Primary School in Warwickshire, England, where she calms anxious students, inspires a community of cat lovers on X, and has even used her social media celebrity to help raise £5,000 to restock the school library — a place she loves to lounge in.

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

In July, Bloodhound puppy and K-9 unit member Remi used his powerful nose to help an autistic and non-verbal boy who had gotten lost find his way back home. Deputy B. Belk, Remi’s partner, used a piece of sterile gauze to collect the scent from the boy’s forearms and the back of his neck and had Remi “reverse” track backwards for about half a mile to locate the child’s home in a nearby neighborhood.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When a beautiful pooch named Gita saw her 84-year-old owner fall and hurt his leg, she ran down to the main road, and refused to move until someone stopped to help. Eventually she was seen by a man named Deputy Wright, who tried to get Gita into his patrol car, but the dog wouldn’t budge. When Gita did finally bolt off, Wright followed her down to where the man had been stranded, and was able to help him. Without her protection, who knows if the man would have been found in time? “The loyalty and heroism of our furry friends never cease to amaze us,” Wright would end up writing on Facebook.

If there’s an incredible furry friend in your own life, nothing says “thank you” quite like a nourishing meal. Check out Nulo for a variety of recipes sure to be loved by your beloved pet.

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Family

Woman who was pressured to quit her job to raise stepdaughter's baby makes a bold decision

This sparked an important conversation about family responsibility.

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.

Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

a young mother holds her baby

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

A woman holds a newborn baby.

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

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Education

Popular life hack has people putting their toilet paper in the refrigerator

No, we're not joking.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels and SmartFoxLifeHacks/TikTok

Have you heard the new toilet paper hack?

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, people took toilet paper—especially its availability—for granted. Everyone who experienced those hectic days probably has a new appreciation when they roll down the aisle of their local supermarket and see fully stocked shelves of TP.

A new trend shows that people aren’t only appreciating their toilet paper but finding new ways to use it that go beyond its traditional use: keeping toilet paper in their refrigerators. The most common reason is that it is an effective and affordable way to keep them smelling fresh and clean. It seems that TP’s absorbent qualities go far beyond the bathroom.

The new practice has been popularized on TikTok, where most new life hack trends seem to be springing up these days.

In late September 2023, TikTok user @Ezenwanyibackup shared a toilet-paper-in-the-fridge hack, and it received over 1400 views. The hack involves creating a paste out of baking soda and applying it to the top of the roll. "Now, just stick it in your fridge," the TikToker said. "This simple hack is going to neutralize all the smell and moisture that messes up your fridge, keeping your food fresh and tasty for way longer."

@ezenwanyibackup

Just put a roll of toilet paper in your fridge, and you won't have that problem anymore! #ezenwanyibackup #foryoupage #homemaderemedies #healthy #homemaderecipes #foryou #diy #naturalrecipes #recipe #fypシ゚viral @ezenwanyibackup @ezenwanyibackup @ezenwanyibackup @This Recipe @Queen ezenwanyi1

Smartfoxlifehacks has also helped promote the new trend in kitchen cleanliness with his video, where he shares how he keeps toilet paper in his fridge. He recommends that people change their rolls every 3 to 4 weeks. He claims the "trick" comes from the hotel industry because the toilet paper “absorbs odors."

@smartfoxlifehacks

This is a secret Trick from Hotels… 😱🦊 #lifehack #tipsandtricks #cleaningtricks #cleaninghacks

Another TikToker, @Drewfrom63rd1, has a unique use for the toilet paper in his fridge. He chills it and then uses it as an ice pack to keep his food cold. “You can use this as an ice pack,” he says, pulling a roll out of his fridge. “It does really work. It lasts about 8 hours.”

@drewfrom63rd1

Replying to @wgez

So, how does it work?

House Digest explains why toilet paper is so effective at keeping your fridge smelling fresh:

“For obvious reasons, toilet paper is designed to be extremely absorbent,” Brooke Younger writes atHouse Digest. “However, it doesn't just absorb liquids on contact; it can also pull them from the surrounding air. If you've ever touched your bathroom's toilet paper roll after a steamy shower, you might notice that it feels a bit damp. Placing a clean toilet paper roll in your fridge will absorb some of the internal humidity and, with it, those stinky particles.”

The site adds that toilet paper can also help keep dark, damp parts of your house, such as a closet or basement, stay fresh, too.

The toilet paper hack is effective, and it’s also a great way to save money. According to The New York Times Wirecutter, a roll of TP costs around $5—$7 on average in the US, which is much cheaper than a refrigerator deodorizer that can set you back between $10—$20, depending on the brand.

Now, for the sake of all the people who love this hack, let’s hope that word spreads so that no one gets any side-eye for having stacks of TP in their fridge. But, we should also hope it doesn’t become so popular that people start hoarding toilet paper again. That wasn’t fun the first time.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Wellness

Star neuroscientist Andrew Huberman breaks down two simple exercises to improve vision

The eyes are muscles like any other and need both stimulation and relaxation.

Canva

Treat the eyes like a muscle. Give them exercise and relaxation.

We spend a lot of time looking at things up close, particularly our screens. For many of us, it’s the first thing we look at in the morning, the last thing we look at before going to sleep, and the thing we look at most during all those hours in between. According to a study commissioned by Vision Direct, the average American will spend 44 years looking at a screen. You read that right. Over. Four. Decades.

Really, it’s no wonder that eyesight has worsened. Experts have declared that myopia, aka nearsightedness, has grown to an epidemic level. In addition, we suffer more headaches and migraines, get poor sleep, and tend to feel more fatigued.

Luckily, there are a few things we can do to help, whether we boast 20/20 vision or are already constantly squinting.

Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, well known for his podcast “Huberman Lab,” breaks down all kinds of science-based life hacks for health, wellness, and fitness.

In addition to studying the brain, one of Huberman’s main research topics is vision. In a video, Huberman shares two simple exercises that can dramatically help improve eyesight.

First and foremost, we need to allow our vision to relax.

You can’t do this just by looking up from your computer screen. Instead, Huberman suggests going to a window and looking out at a point in the distance. Ideally, you would open the window because windows filter out a lot of the blue light and sunlight that you want during the daytime. Better yet, go to a balcony, relax your eyes, and look out at the horizon. This allows the eyes to relax and go into panoramic vision, relieving stress and fatigue.

According to Huberman, you should be doing some kind of relaxation of the eyes, face, and jaw for every 30 minutes of focused work—which works out to at least every 90 minutes.

Second, stimulate the eyes by focusing on motion.

Smooth pursuit is our natural ability to track individual objects moving through space. You can train or improve your vision simply by stimulating this mechanism. To do this, Huberman suggests taking a few minutes each day or every three days to visually track a ball. Or, get outside and watch objects move around. Think swooping birds, falling leaves, etc. If you couldn’t tell, Huberman is a big proponent of going outside.

Bottom line: Our eyes are muscles. Just like our biceps, they need stimulation and relaxation, and while we might not be able to get this kind of nourishment from our tiny screens, nature provides.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Modern Families

7 aunts, uncles and grandparents dance to entertain the only baby in their family

First child moments are really magical.

Blair.Bear.RN/TikTok

Have you ever people say that only children are lonely? One family from Tifton, Georgia would like to respectfully disagree! Mom, nurse, and TikTok creator Blair recently sat down with her family for Thanksgiving and just had to capture the scene. All the grandparents, aunts, and uncles at the table decided to put on a show for her baby, Jax. As the only baby in the family — the only grandkid and only nephew — everyone was excited to chip in and show him a good time at the table.

You've just got to see all seven adults going absolutely nuts to Chappell Roan's Pink Pony as a bewildered Jax looks on from his high chair. Eventually, even he can't resist getting in on the action, and he breaks out a few sweet torso-only dance moves of his own. I'd say they successfully kept him entertained!

@blair.bear.rn

My boy has some MOVES. 🕺🩵 #happyturkeyday #thanksgiving #happythanksgiving #turkey #onlychildlife #onlygrandkid #nephew #son #momsoftiktok #momlife #family #familytime #ivf #ivfsuccess #fyp #nursesoftiktok

Blair's video went unexpectedly viral, racking up over 2 million views and thousands of comments. People were blown away by the pure joy and love radiating off the screen in the short clip.

"He really said 'ya know what, hell yeah. These people are crazy and I love it' 🥺" the top comment read.

"You can feel the love that everyone has for that baby through the screen," wrote one commenter.

Others couldn't help but share their own stories of everyone in the family showering attention on one baby.

"My 4yo is the only grandchild and only neice and we spent 3 hours after dinner watching her 'perform' her original songs and dances for the family 🤣There are a lot of reasons, the cost of having kids being a big one," said another user.

"This is my entire family with my daughter 🤣 she’s the only granddaughter, great granddaughter, and niece and gets ALL the attention 🤣🤣🤣," someone wrote.

It seems Blair's family isn't the only one who loves letting the only-babies be the center of attention.

Whether it's an intentional choice or just temporary, there's something really magical about only having one kid.

person carrying baby while reading book Photo by Picsea on Unsplash

Something called "one-and-done parenting" has become more and more common in recent years; that is, having one child and then calling it a day. There are a lot of reasons for the rise in only-child households — the high cost of childcare and other expenses, for example — but there are a lot of upsides as well.

With one kid in the family, you (and your extended family) get to shower them in love and affection (just like in Blair's video), give them all of your resources and support, and still have a little time leftover for yourself. That gets a lot harder to do when you have multiple children.

It also gives you time and space to be a more intentional parent. It's a lot easier to plan and execute the type of parent you want to be, the lessons you want to teach, when you can focus your energies on one, versus running around in a panic trying to wrangle multiple kids at once.

When my firstborn was little, I remember things being so different. She'd get full attention from both me and my wife at bedtime, and sometimes from grandma, too, if she happened to be visiting. We'd read books, sing songs, and play games — two on one! Bedtime now that I have two girls is a lot more frantic and chaotic. There are still books and lots of laughters, but those early days had a special kind of magic to them.

Some might look at this clip and think that the baby will end up spoiled by all the attention. Survey says? Not likely! Stereotypes about only children (lonely, spoiled, maladjusted) are just that: Stereotypes. And they're typically not true. There's no amount of love that's too much. So feel free to go absolutely nuts, all you grandparents and aunts and uncles out there!

Blair says Jax is so especially meaningful to her and her family because of her experience with IVF:

"My husband and I spent 8 years trying to have a baby before we were able to pursue IVF. We only had one embryo that survived the process, and when we finally transferred it, we were blessed with our little Jax. So when I take videos like this, I get to cherish every single second of our family loving our little boy as much as we love him. I think the people of TikTok saw a family that is willing to do whatever it took to make a little boy smile and it put a smile on everyone's face that was watching too."

Having a big family with a bunch of kids is a ton of fun, but it's so cool to see how Blair's video captured how special and magic it is the first, and maybe, only time around, and how much it means to everyone in the family when an amazing new person gets added to the mix.

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Pop Culture

In 1972, Stevie Wonder debuted the talk box on live TV and left people in stunned silence

The "robot voice" was unheard of 52 years ago.

via Snowchild/YouTube

Stevie Wonder plays the talkbox in 1972.

Stevie Wonder is a musical virtuoso who can play just about any instrument you put in front of him, whether it’s a piano, harmonica, drums, or the harpejji, a cross between the piano and drums. But he is also an innovator who, after achieving success as a teenager, became an adult artist keen on breaking out of the “soul” genre and making incredible albums that combined jazz and rock.

In 1972, at 21, he showed off a new instrument, the talkbox, that most people had never heard on “The David Frost Show." At first, the audience found it funny, but once he began to play it with the soul and virtuosity he’s known for, people saw the talkbox as a new way for musicians to express complex emotions.

Wonder’s performance with the instrument is believed to have been the first time it was played on national TV.



The talkbox is an effects pedal attached to a tube you place in your mouth. The box combines the sounds of the instrument you plug in, whether a guitar or synthesizer and the voice sung into the tube. The result is a sound that sounds like a robot is singing. The talkbox would later become famous for being used in songs such as “Do You Feel Like We Do?” by Peter Frampton, “More Bounce to the Ounce” by Zapp and “Livin' on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi.

Its space-age sounds helped create the adorable squawks and squeaks of BB-8 in the “Star Wars” films.

In his legendary introduction of the instrument, Wonder plays the talkbox on “Close to You” by The Carpenters and then transitions into a soulful version of “Never Can Say Goodbye,” made famous by The Jackson 5.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

What’s so interesting about the performance is that Wonder uses humor to introduce the funny-sounding instrument to the audience. Juxtaposing the saccharine sounds of The Carpenters with an other-worldly-sounding instrument was a definite clash of styles in 1972. But once the audience gets comfortable with the instrument, Wonder takes it in another direction, using it to create soulful, sincere sounds that create a unique atmosphere most people had never heard before, especially on prime TV.

It takes an incredible amount of talent to take something that sounds so strange and to be able to move people emotionally with it.

Wonder’s performance struck Frank Ocean, who sampled it on his song “Close to You” on his critically acclaimed 2016 “Blonde” album. However, in this version, Ocean changes lyrics to talk about a tough break-up with an ex-partner.

In his live performances, Ocean has blended “Close to You” with “Never Can Say Goodbye,” just like Wonder did in 1972.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The talkbox became a big part of pop music in the '70s and ‘80s, most notably in 1980 with Zapp’s “More Bounce to the Ounce,” in which Roger Troutman played the talkbox, hooked up to a synthesizer with incredible agility. Troutman would use the talkbox throughout his career, having another major hit with the instrument in 1996 with Tupac and Dr. Dre’s “California Love.”

Sadly, Troutman was murdered by his brother outside of a recording studio in 1999.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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