After causing an unexpected stir, Drew Barrymore explains why she 'doesn't need sex'
'At nearly 48 I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up.'
Drew Barrymore attends the 26th Annual Webby Awards on May 16, 2022 in New York City.
In late September, talk show host Drew Barrymore made an off-hand comment about sex that caused an unexpected stir. During a “Drew’s News” segment with Ross Mathews, the two discussed Andrew Garfield’s admission he abstained from sex for six months while filming Martin Scorsese’s 2016 film “Silence.”
“I get abstaining from sex, I mean I did that my entire 20s, right?” Mathews joked, to which Barrymore responded, “What’s wrong with me that six months doesn’t seem like a very long time? I was like, ‘Yeah so?'”
“We buried the lede there, that’s the headline. Drew can go six months, no big deal,” Mathews added. “Years,” Barrymore confirmed.
A woman in Barrymore’s yoga class mentioned her comments in passing, not knowing she was speaking to the actress. “You look just like Drew Barrymore except for you look like you have mental wellness and besides … she hates sex!” Barrymore recounted on her blog.
After the rude comment, Barrymore decided to clear things up on her blog. Her explanation was a mature way of looking at love and intimacy and the challenges faced by single mothers.
She gave some background behind her blog post in an Instagram video.
“At nearly 48 I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up,” Barrymore wrote. “However, after two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters. I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while. I’ve come to realize through working in therapy (with Barry), he said something and I had to write it down. He said, ‘Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.’”
Barrymore wants to set an example of a healthy view of intimacy for her two daughters, Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8, who she had with ex-husband Will Kopelman.
“I’m also raising two daughters, so how we raise girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love themselves and to realize that we live in an age where the images and messages that they will see will also contradict what I have come to believe intimacy is!” she wrote.
The “Wedding Singer” star divorced Kopelman a little more than seven years ago and it’s taken her time to feel comfortable again in a relationship. While she doesn’t judge those who jump right into new relationships after getting divorced, what feels right to her is what matters.
“Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit,” she wrote. “I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people that really works. It didn’t work for me.”
Barrymore’s decision to open up about her love life and share her deepest thoughts about intimacy are brave, especially in a world where celebrities are expected to flaunt their sexuality. Barrymore is strong to admit that she has scars from the loss of her marriage and that running back into a relationship isn’t right for her at this time.
There are a lot of people who are grieving the loss of a relationship and don’t feel they’re allowed to take time for themselves. Let’s hope that Barrymore’s admission gives them strength to be alone when it’s what’s best for their well-being.
This article originally appeared on 10.18.22
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
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Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."