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Mom calls out 'weaponized incompetence' by flipping the script on parental expectations

Hearing a woman say these things is ridiculous, and that's the whole point.

weaponized incompetence, parenting, marriage
@clarabellecwb/TikTok

Too real. Tooooo Real.

While marriages are by far much more egalitarian than they have been in decades past, many women will tell you that when it comes to emotional and domestic labor, they still take on the lion’s share of responsibility.

Many women are using TikTok to call out this imbalance, even going so far as to share how it led to them filing for divorce. As for Clare Brown, she’s opting to illuminate the issue in a more satirical way.

Brown has amassed over 400,000 followers on her TikTok account, where a major part of her schtick includes what she calls “flipping the script” on social issues. And as of late, it’s her focus on parenting expectations that has people—particularly fed up moms—nodding in agreement.

In a series titled “flipping the script on weaponized incompetence,” Brown pokes fun at fathers who remain willfully ignorant by asking their partners for help on even the most basic tasks, thus escaping the responsibility of pulling their weight.


"Honey, I can't find the pull-ups. Can you come look?" she whines in one video. Seconds later, she asks "Where do you keep the kids’ clothes? What time does school start?" delivered in perfect deadpan.

The real kicker is when Brown is handed a fake baby, and with disgust, she tells her imaginary husband, "You want me to babysit while you take a shower? She's just going to cry for you. Why don't you just take her with you?"

@clarabellecwb

Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it!

♬ A Day in My Life - Soft boy

Sounds absolutely ridiculous coming from a woman, right? Yeah, others caught on to that, too.

"Hearing a woman say those things sounds so ludicrous. Why do some men get away with this?! The first sign of this while dating and I'm out," one person commented.

And since weaponized incompetence doesn't take holidays off, Brown had a Mother’s Day Edition, (or Father’s Day, in this imaginary scenario). As Brown enters the room, she manages to wish her husband “Happy Father’s Day” and asks for help—several times—in the same breath.

“That kitchen is a disaster. Don’t worry about it today. It’s Father’s Day! You can just clean it up tomorrow,” she quips.

@clarabellecwb

I gave him a break!

♬ Jazz Bossa Nova - TOKYO Lonesome Blue

Brown also expected her husband to still have the agenda for the day mapped out, basically planning how he would be celebrated. Clearly, this was a common occurrence, given the sheer number of comments on Brown’s video. Many chose to give their own tongue-in-cheek nods to that particular experience.

“He’s so lucky you’re giving him the choice of what to do on his special day. I’m sure he has so many plans!” one person wrote to which Brown replied, “He just needs to tell me what to do, and I'll do it!” Ah, the crux of the issue in a single sentence.

Weaponized incompetence can even be summoned at your local grocery store, apparently. In another video, Brown is seen calling her husband to ask him important questions like what aisle the juice is on or if a fuji apple is red or green, all with an exasperated voice that clearly conveys she doesn't think she should need to do the task.

@clarabellecwb

By request: We obviously need to unwind after a long day of helping.

♬ Elevator Music - Bohoman

Again, as bonkers as this skit seemed, women could relate. The very top comment read: “I put ‘fruit—whatever’s on sale’ and my husband bought every type of fruit because ‘they were selling all of it.’”

Weaponized incompetence is certainly not a tactic solely employed by husbands to get out of household chores. It’s a term used to describe any time a person tries to skirt shared responsibilities by pretending they aren’t up to the task. As marriages rely on teamwork and trust in order to be successful, it’s easy to see why Brown and her viewers are attempting to shine a light on a serious issue, even if it is done in a lighthearted way.

True

Do you ever feel like you could be doing more when it comes to making a positive impact on your community? The messaging around giving back is louder than ever this time of year, and for good reason; It is the season of giving, after all.

If you’ve ever wondered who is responsible for bringing many of the giving-back initiatives to life, it’s probably not who you’d expect. The masterminds behind these types of campaigns are project managers.

Using their talents and skills, often proven by earning certifications from the Project Management Institute (PMI), project managers are driving real change and increasing the success rate on projects that truly improve our world.

To celebrate the work that project managers are doing behind the scenes to make a difference, we spoke with two people doing more than their part to make an impact.

In his current role as a Project Management Professional (PMP)-certified project manager and environmental engineer for the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Joshua Williard oversees the cleanup of some of America’s most contaminated and hazardous waste sites.

Courtesy of Joshua Williard

“Recently, I was part of a four-person diving team sent to collect contaminated sediment samples from the bottom of a river in Southeastern Virginia. We wanted to ensure a containment wall was successfully blocking the release of waste into an adjacent river,” Williard says.

Through his work, Josh drives restoration efforts to completion so contaminated land can again be used beneficially, and so future generations will not be at risk of exposure to harmful chemicals.

“I’ve been inspired by the natural world from a young age and always loved being outside. As I gained an understanding about Earth's trajectory, I realized that I wanted to be part of trying to save it and keep it for future generations.

“I learned the importance of using different management styles to address various project challenges. I saw the value in building meaningful relationships with key community members. I came to see that effective project management can make a real difference in getting things done and having on-the-ground impact,” Williard says.

In addition, Monica Chan’s career in project management has enabled her to work at the forefront of conservation efforts with the World Wildlife Fund (WWF-US). She most recently has been managing a climate change project, working with a diverse team including scientists, policy experts, data analysts, biologists, communicators, and more. The goal is to leverage grants to protect and restore mangroves, forests, and ecosystems, and drive demand in seaweed farming – all to harness nature's power to address the climate crisis.

Courtesy of Monica Chan

“As the project management lead for WWF-US, I am collaborating across the organization to build a project management framework that adapts to our diverse projects. Given that WWF's overarching objectives center on conserving nature and addressing imminent threats to the diversity of life on Earth, the stakes are exceptionally high in how we approach projects,” says Chan.

“Throughout my journey, I've discovered a deep passion for project management's ability to unite people for shared goals, contributing meaningfully to environmental conservation,” she says.

With skills learned from on-the-job experience and resources from PMI, project managers are the central point of connection for social impact campaigns, driving them forward and solving problems along the way. They are integral to bringing these projects to life, and they find support from their peers in PMI’s community.

PMI has a global network of more than 300 chapters and serves as a community for project managers – at every stage of their career. Members can share knowledge, celebrate impact, and learn together through resources, events, and other programs such as PMI’s Hours for Impact program, which encourages PMI members to volunteer their time to projects directly supporting the United Nations 17 Sustainable Development Goals.

“By tapping into PMI's extensive network and resources, I've expanded my project management knowledge and skills, gaining insights from seasoned professionals in diverse industries, including environmental management. Exposure to different perspectives has kept me informed about industry trends, best practices, and allowed me to tailor my approach to the unique challenges of the non-profit sector,” Chan says.

“Obtaining my PMP certification has been a game-changer, propelling not only my career growth, but also reshaping my approach to daily projects, both personally and professionally,” Chan says. Research from PMI shows that a career in project management means being part of an industry on the rise, as the global economy will need 25 million new project professionals by 2030 and the median salary for project practitioners in the U.S. is $120K.

PMI’s mission is to help professionals build project management skills through online courses, networking, and other learning opportunities, help them prove their proficiency in project management through certifications, and champion the work that project professionals, like Joshua and Monica, do around the world.

For those interested in pursuing a career in project management to help make a difference, PMI’s Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM) certification could be the starting point to help get your foot in the door.

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