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Gen Z couple exposes the big generation gap in partner location sharing

"We just don't think it's that serious."

via Canva/Photos and Google Play

A wife tracking her husband's location.

If you’re in a relationship, there are pros and cons to sharing your location with your partner. On one hand, it’s a great way to find out where they are so you know (roughly) when they’ll be home, or to make sure they are safe. On the other hand, a controlling partner can abuse the technology, and some folks just want to come and go without being watched even if it’s by someone they love.

Further, if you are against your partner tracking you, what do you have to hide? If you’re not going places that you shouldn’t, why do you care if your partner can see where you are? TikTok creators Maya and Hunter, a young married couple who share videos about their egalitarian relationship, have a theory: couples under 35 have no problem sharing their location, while those 35 and over recoil at the idea.

What type of couples share location data?

“Why does everyone over the age of 35 think that sharing your location with your partner is a prison sentence?” Hunter asks in a TikTok with over 600,000 views. “Every time we talk to someone older about how we have each other’s location, they’re like... Bring out the shackles!” Maya adds. “And I feel like everyone we talk to who’s under 35 just thinks of it as a convenience or safety thing.”

@maya.and.hunter

i feel like we just don’t think it’s that serious?

The couple doesn’t see anything wrong with monitoring one another, and although it’s not a big part of their lives, they like to have it just in case. “It’s not that deep. I can’t remember the last time I checked her location, other than just to find out where she parked. It’s just a really interesting social commentary that everyone over a certain age—we think it’s about 35—has this really big issue with, like, a privacy violation and mistrust when you share your location.”

“But I feel with my friends and partner and people I trust,” Maya adds, “I don’t care if they see where I’m going at any time.”

The generational gap in location sharing

The couple believes that the cutoff line is the age of 35, and according to Civic Science, they aren’t far off in their assumption. A generational study finds that younger people are far more likely than older people to share their locations. Gen Z adults aged 18-29 are the most likely to use location sharing (65%), outpacing Millennials (45%) and Gen X (42%), and more than doubling those 55+ (24%).

@rosecitycomedy

Nothing says love like quietly tracking your partner’s every move. Just ask Andy Woodhull. #tylertx #longviewtx #standupcomedy

A significant factor contributing to the generation gap is that individuals aged 35 and under were, at the oldest, teenagers when location technology became available. Heck, folks who are 18 right now never lived in a time when location sharing didn’t exist and were likely to be raised by parents who tracked their locations. Those who are over 35 were adults by the time the technology became available, and they lived in a time where, if you were interested in tracking someone, you were probably a creep. Older people value privacy more because they remember a time when they could be unreachable.

The video divided people in the comments. "I have a theory. People over 35 are old enough to remember not being constantly surveilled," one wrote. “Because they grew up in an era when the norm was privacy, not surveillance, so it feels like being stalked,” another added.

“Everyone who is against it is shady,” one person confidently wrote. “I totally get what you mean, it's like older folks see it as a big deal, but for us it's just about staying connected and safe,” agreed another.

There’s no correct answer to the big location-sharing question. People who don’t do it can brag about their independence and the fact that they trust their partner so much they don’t need to follow where they go. Others may claim they track their spouses out of love and concern for their safety. But the debate does say a lot about how different generations were raised with entirely different expectations of privacy and how it plays out in their closest relationships.

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4 specific strategies stalkers use—and steps you should take if someone is stalking you

Stalking is its own unique crime, but people may not be aware of everything it can entail.

Photo credit: Canva

Stalking is a serious crime.

If you've ever been the victim of a stalker, you know how scary it can feel. The constant fear and uneasiness. The persistent feeling of your privacy and security being violated. The never knowing what the person might do next and feeling like your safety is in danger.

What people need to know is that stalking itself is a crime all on its own. It doesn't have to escalate to violence or involve other criminal activity in order to be documented, reported, and prosecuted. That's why it's important to know the signs of stalking, the strategies stalkers use to victimize, and the steps you should take if someone is stalking you—preferably before it ever happens.

What is stalking? Is it an actual crime?

First, let's define stalking. On the one hand, it's slightly complicated, since different jurisdictions have different legal definitions. However, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, "stalking is generally defined as a pattern of behavior directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear." It is officially a crime in all 50 states, and at the federal level, stalking is considered "dangerous and potentially lethal."

More specifically, a stalking "pattern of behavior" may include "following a person; driving by a victim’s place of employment or school; sending unwanted gifts, cards, or e-mails; persistently calling or text messaging; tracking a victim’s whereabouts using technology such as cameras or global positioning systems (GPSs); vandalizing property; and threatening to hurt the victim, his or her family, another person, or pets."

woman holding her hand over her mouth while holding a cell phoneStalking makes victims feel afraid with a pattern of behavior.Photo credit: Canva

The 4 specific strategies stalkers use

According to the Stalking Prevention, Awareness, & Resource Center (SPARC), stalker strategies fall under four main categories—Surveillance, Life Invasion, Intimidation, and Interference. The SPARC website offers these specific questions under each category to determine if someone is stalking you:

1) Surveillance = watching and gathering information

Has the offender…

• followed you?

• watched you?

• shown up unexpectedly?

• gone through your mail or trash?

• sought information about you from friends, family, or other acquaintances?

• communicated with you in ways that seemed obsessive or made you concerned for your safety?

• accessed your accounts (for example, social media, online finances)?

• planted a camera, GPS tracker, or other device on your vehicle or in your home?

• used tracking software on your phone, tablet, or computer to track you?

• monitored your activity online?

2) Life Invasion = showing up in your life without the your consent

Has the offender…

• repeatedly initiated unwanted contact with you (for example, repeated phone calls, texts, messages, emails?)

• sent gifts to you or left objects/items for you to find?

• tried to initiate contact with you through third parties?

• spread rumors about you? • humiliated, or tried to humiliate, you in public?

• impersonated you online? • hacked into your accounts?

• harassed friends, family members, or other third parties?

• sent photos of themselves or of you in locations that you frequent?

• invaded your property (like letting themselves into your home or vehicle)?

• shown up at places you frequent (for example, your gym, child’s daycare, grocery store)?

woman peering at a couple from behind a pillarPeople of all genders can be stalkers or victims of stalking.Photo credit: Canva


3) Intimidation = threatening behavior

Has the offender…

• threatened you explicitly or implicitly, in-person or online?

• threatened family, friends, pets, or others that you care about?

• threatened to destroy property, harm pets, or to sabotage you in other ways?

• blackmailed you? • threatened to share/post private information about you unless you perform sexual acts?

• engaged in symbolic violence (like a crushed soda can or burnt doll) that you perceived as a threat?

• threatened to or actually harmed themselves?

• done anything that has intimated, frightened, or alarmed you?

4) Interference = sabotaging or attacking your reputation, employment, physical safety, etc.

Has the offender…

• significantly and directly interfered with your life?

• damaged your property or stolen from you?

• disrupted your professional and/or social life?

• caused you to have a serious accident?

• meddled in online accounts (social media, finances, etc.)?

• posed as you and created harm?

• forcibly kept you from leaving or held you against your will?

• assaulted you while stalking, harassing, or threatening you?

• assaulted your friends, family, or pets, or seriously attacked you in other ways?

• shared with others and/or posted online private photos of you and/or information about you?

You don't have to answer yes to every question in order to confirm you are being stalked—again, you're looking for a pattern of behavior. These strategies overlap, and stalkers will often change their tactics over time. It's easy to think, "Well, they're not doing that," but if there are multiple yeses under multiple categories, it may worth taking a more comprehensive assessment here.

person on cell phoneCall the police if you feel you are in imminent danger.Photo credit: Canva

What steps should you take if you're being stalked (or suspect you are)?

Let's say you are pretty sure someone is stalking you. What do you do about it?

First of all, if you feel like you are in imminent danger or harm, call 911 immediately. You can also try one of the following advocacy groups who can help you with the resources you need:

Victim Connect (anonymous crime hotline) 1-800-4-VICTIM

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233

National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE

But other more general tips for navigating a stalker situation include:

- Trust your instincts. Stalking can be disorienting and other people may or may not be supportive of your concerns. Your safety is more important than other people's perceptions of what's happening.

- Call the police if you feel you are in danger. Tell them about the stalker's actions and behavior and how they are causing you fear.

- Document everything. Keep a record or log of every contact you have with the stalker as well as any police reports you make. SPARC offers a sample log you can use. Keep it in a safe and private place.

- Save evidence as much as you can. Evidence might include emails, texts, photos, social media posts, or physical notes.

- Use tech wisely. Cyberstalking is a crime as well. Do not respond to stalkers online and block them on your phone and social media if possible. Screenshot and save anything they send. If they send threats of violence, sexually explicit message or images or photos/videos taken of you in private places, report them to law enforcement immediately.

Stalking can be a difficult crime for victims to know how to handle, and it's not always easy to get people to believe you when it's happening. But knowing what it is, what it can look like, and what to do if someone stalks you are important so you can start off prepared if it happens.

For more information, see the SPARC Stalking Victim Handbook here and check out stalkingawareness.org.

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'Thank you for believing her': Mechanic makes discovery helping woman afraid of stalker

She was right to trust her instincts.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A mechanic looks under a woman's car.

A video posted by a mechanic who goes by Tooey’s Garage on TikTok shows why it’s so important to listen to people who fear they are in danger. It’s also a great reminder that when you suspect something creepy is going on, tell someone about it.

It all started when a woman came to Tooey’s Garage because she thought her car had a tracker attached. "The customer stated that she suspected a tracker was in her vehicle and asked if we could take a look,” Tooey captioned the video.

Apple AirTags and Tiles allow people to attach a small tag to their important items (car keys, wallet, luggage, cars, etc.) to track them if they get lost. The tags report back to an app that allows you to find them on a map. If these items are stolen, the owners can make the tag chirp so the thieves know they’re being tracked.

However, people can use these tags for nefarious reasons, such as stalking people by placing them on their cars. This allows them to know wherever their victim may be whenever they leave the house.

airtags, tiles, tracker devideTile tracker devices.via Dennis Sylvester Hurd/Flickr

The woman who came to Tooey’s Garage said she got an alert on her phone that an “unidentifiable tile” was following her around. So Tooey searched the inside of her car for hours and found nothing. Then he put the car up on a rack and searched the underside, where he found a tracker wrapped in duct tape and attached to the vehicle in a magnetic hide-a-key box.

The woman told Tooey that the person she suspected was stalking her had put trackers on other people’s cars as well.

@tooeys.garage

Customer stated that she suspected a tracker was in her vehicle, and asked if we could take a look. We looked inside 1st then put it on a lift once one opened up. The tile tracker was attached under the car in a magnetic key box. #creepy #creeper #stalker #mechanicsoftiktok #mechanic #fypage #gethelp @Life360 @Tile #fixed #life360

“If you feel like someone might be creeping on you and stalking you, maybe see if your local shop can take a look. Hopefully, they won’t think you’re crazy, but it does actually happen,” Tooey said at the end of the video.

People in the video's comments praised the mechanic for taking the woman’s concerns seriously and doing whatever he could to find the tracker. “Y'all are awesome for not only believing her but also helping her!” one commenter wrote. “Thank you for believing her AND being so thorough!” another added.

One commenter made a great point: trackers should be traceable back to the purchaser to prevent stalking. “The owner should be able to have that device tracked back to the purchaser and have them charged with stalking!” they wrote.

Tooey’s video has been seen over 3 million times, and it’s an important warning for people to get their cars looked at immediately if they have even the slightest suspicion that they’re being tracked. It’s also a great example for mechanics to take action if someone comes into their shop looking for a tracker because they could be in great danger.

Kudos to Tooey for going out of his way to help the woman by spending much of his workday trying to locate the tracker. Without his help, the situation could have turned tragic.



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