The "sharing struggle" is something every parent can relate to.
There's a swarm of kids on the playground. One comes up to your kid and wants to play with whatever toy they have.
Immediately, we spring into action.
<p><strong>"Share, sweetheart! You have to share!"</strong></p><p>But do they have to share? Do they really?</p><p>One mom doesn't think so.</p><h2>Alanya Kolberg recently explained on Facebook why she tells her son that it's OK to say "no." </h2><p>She recounted a recent visit to the playground when her son, Carson, was bombarded by a group of boys demanding he share his toys.</p><p>Instead of simply trying to keep the peace and avoid conflict, Kolberg had a different message for her young son:</p><p><strong>"You can tell them no, Carson," I said. "Just say no. You don't have to say anything else."</strong></p><div><div data-card="facebook" data-reactroot=""><div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=289043001535340" data-width="552"><blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=289043001535340&set=a.129461207493521.1073741828.100012889261389&type=3" class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><p>MY CHILD IS NOT REQUIRED TO SHARE WITH YOURS.As soon as we walked in the park, Carson was approached by at least 6...</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/people/Alanya-Kolberg/100012889261389">Alanya Kolberg</a> on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=289043001535340&set=a.129461207493521.1073741828.100012889261389&type=3">Wednesday, April 19, 2017</a></blockquote></div></div></div><h2><strong>"Of course, as soon as he said no, the boys ran to tattle to me that he was not sharing," she wrote. </strong></h2><p>"I said, 'He doesn't have to share with you. He said no. If he wants to share, he will.'"</p><p><strong>Kolberg wrote that she got plenty of dirty looks from the other parents, but she explained her reasoning:</strong></p><p>"If I, an adult, walked into the park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No! Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again."</p><p><strong>"The goal is to teach our children how to function as adults," she wrote.</strong> "While I do know some adults who clearly never learned how to share as children, I know far more who don't know how to say no to people, or how to set boundaries, or how to practice self-care."</p><h2>Saying no to sharing may sound counterintuitive, but when you think about it, Kolberg's message makes perfect sense.</h2><p>"As an Educator, I completely agree with this. When children are not taught to assert themselves when necessary, it leads to so many situations of bullying," wrote one commenter.</p><p>Though not everyone agrees:</p><p>"I'm sorry but nothing material is worth a fight. I will share everything and anything I can," responded another.</p><p>Of course we want our kids to share. Of course we want them to <a href="https://www.upworthy.com/if-it-feels-weird-to-have-to-force-your-kid-to-hug-their-relatives-theres-a-reason">show affection to grandma and grandpa</a>. But isn't it equally (or more) important that they know their own comfort and happiness matter?</p><p>Judging by the viral reaction to Kolberg's post, plenty of parents out there think the answer ought to be yes.</p>
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