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For 10 years, Ann Marie and Bernard Shondell were the loves of each others' lives.

Together, they welcomed three children to the world: Allie, Nick, and Joey. They were best friends and partners, devoted to their family.

Then one day, tragedy struck.


Allie, Ann Marie, Joey, Nick. This photo was taken shortly before Ann Marie passed away. Image via Bernard Shondell, used with permission.

Ann Marie was diagnosed with cancer. She fought valiantly against the disease for five long years, but ultimately, she lost her battle. Bernard, Allie, Nick, and Joey were on their own for the first time.

Losing a family member is devastating at the best of times. Losing a matriarch is even harder. Fortunately, the Shondell family was tightly knit, with family members and friends surrounding them to ensure they felt loved and cared for as they grieved. Not everyone is lucky enough to have that.

Having a tightly bonded family and support network for his kids helped Bernard, too. About a year after Ann Marie passed, he made a revelation: He was gay and always had been.

Bernard Shondell. Image via Hallmark, used with permission.

The decision to come out wasn't made easily. Growing up in the 1970s, Bernard watched a lot of people face discrimination and alienation after they came out. But ultimately, he knew he needed to be true to himself.

"I'm a better father when I'm living an authentic life," says Bernard.

Rather than alienating him, his family — including his wife's family — embraced him.

"I was scared when I was deciding to come out, " he says. "I was worried that my kids could be taken from me. And when the time came to tell my mother-in-law, she greeted me with a hug, and with love, and she said, 'You know, we're going to raise these kids, and it's going to be fine.'"

Since coming out, Bernard is the first to acknowledge that he's been the recipient of much love, generosity, and care — especially from his children.

Image via iStock.

"My kids have shown their love and support to me in just so many ways that it's almost hard to pick individual things," he says. "My daughter asked me to do the 'No Hate' campaign with her. I was so proud that my daughter wanted to do that with me, and it meant a great deal that she was in support of marriage equality for everyone."

Last summer, after the mass shooting at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, Bernard's youngest son brought the family's pride flag to a televised game where there was a moment of silence in honor of those who lost their lives. "He was the only person in the end zone who had a pride flag," Bernard added.

As his children become adults, Bernard is confident that the values of care and generosity that he and his wife instilled in them are here to stay.

A happy ,devoted family. Image via Bernard Shondell, used with permission.

"I always taught my children that they could never use the death of their mother as an excuse to not do something because someone else always has it worse," says Bernard. "I think teaching them to care about what other people are going through is very important."

"My heart swells that they turned out OK and that they're going to go on to build great things for themselves and for those that they love," he said.

Watch Bernard share tips for sharing care in this short video with his employer, Hallmark:

On the morning of June 12, 2016, people lined up at a local blood bank in St. Petersburg, Florida, ready to wait for hours.

Following the deadly overnight attacks at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, that left (at the time of writing) 50 dead and another 53 wounded, local blood banks and hospitals put out calls for blood donations to help treat the injured.

People turned up in droves.


FBI agents outside Pulse nightclub June 12 in Orlando, Florida, after a fatal shooting and hostage situation. Photo by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images.

Just over 100 miles west of Orlando in St. Petersburg, a city known for hosting Florida's largest Pride parade each year, the wait to donate blood at one OneBlood location topped two hours — with dozens more donors making appointments to come back later in the week.

Families arrived together, with teenagers asking how old they had to be to donate too. Family members and spouses of OneBlood employees came to take names for appointment times and hand out snacks and water. Donors volunteered to bring more supplies. Everyone was looking for any way they could find to help — no matter how small.

Though OneBlood's Sunday hours usually end at noon, the organization pledged to stay open as long as donors were still in line.

Here are what 13 blood donors in St. Petersburg had to say in their own words:

1. "We have to show the world there is more good in it than bad."

"I'm donating because we have to show the world there is more good in it than bad. Hate is NOT the answer." — Jamie, St. Petersburg. Photos by Caitlin Duffy/Upworthy.

2. "I want to help make a difference."

"I’m donating because I’m a nurse and I want to help make a difference." — Mallory, 25, Pinellas Park, Florida.

3. "I believe that the tragic event in Orlando last night highlights our nation's increasing problem of gun violence."

"My name is Julien Turner, I'm here on vacation in St. Petersburg, visiting my sisters and mother. I'm currently living in Portsmouth, NH. I believe that the tragic event in Orlando last night highlights our nation's increasing problem of gun violence, which calls for solidarity of Americans in general, and domestic violence at large. I'd like to support the victims in the best way possible, by giving blood per The American Red Cross' request." — Julien, Portsmouth, New Hampshire.

4. "I felt compelled to do anything I could to help those affected."

"In the wake of the Orlando Pulse tragedy, I felt compelled to do anything I could to help those affected. When I received the text from One Blood saying my blood type was scarce, I knew immediately that I should be donating today!" — Karla, 29, St. Petersburg.

5. "There is a crisis within our Community right now."

"My wife and I are donating because there is a crisis within our Community right now. We feel the best way we can help is by donating blood. Our thoughts are with our fellow lgbtsq's and thier families." — Erin and Andrea, 40 and 39, St. Petersburg.

6. "Regardless of any reasons of why, or other speculations on the shooter, I'm doing this to help those who were affected by this horrible act."

"I felt a strong responsibility to help when I heard the news this morning. Regardless of any reasons of why, or other speculations on the shooter, I'm doing this to help those who were affected by this horrible act. If my donation can help, I want to help. I'm sure many here share the same sentiments. #PrayForOrlando." — Jennifer, 34, St. Petersburg.

7. "I feel helpless in the face of this targeted attack against the lgbtq community."

"Im donating today because i feel helpless in the face of this targeted attack against the lgbtq community" — Chris, 32, St. Petersburg.

8. "People like me deserve to live in safety and health."

"Im giving blood because im queer and people like me deserve to live in safety and health." — Keeli, 20, St. Petersburg.

9. "God not only calls us to pray in times like these, but He also calls us to action."

"I’m donating because it’s an easy way to help make a difference in response to such a senseless tragedy. God not only calls us to pray in times like these, but He also calls us to action." — Kelsey, 24, Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

10. "I am donating because my heart aches."

“I am donating because my heart aches for these kids that were tragically taken away last night." — Frank, St. Petersburg.

11. "I'm donating because I wanted to do something positive."

"I’m donating because I wanted to do something positive in the midst of all the horror." — Michelle, 54, St. Petersburg.

12. "I want to help in the only way I know."

"I am donating because I want to help in the only way I know during the tragic time." — Lisa, 33, Largo, Florida.

13. "We cannot let ourselves and our culture to be controlled by hate and fear."

"I am donating blood as a way to fight against hate. This attack in Orlando was a targeted attack against a group that already feels a lot of pressure and fear just to be themselves. We cannot let ourselves and our culture to be controlled by hate and fear. While I am not part of the LGBT community myself, I have many wonderful family members, friends and co-workers that are, and this is a way to support them. My little bit of time and blood can save a life, and this is the most ethical thing I can do." — Evan, 22, St. Petersburg.

In the wake of a tragedy, there are always people willing to help in any way they can.

On June 12, 2016, over 50 families woke up to the worst kind of phone call. The families of others waited, terrified, outside a hospital for news of their loved ones.

The blood, platelets, and plasma donated by strangers in the wake of this, the deadliest mass shooting in American history, will help hospitals treat not just the victims and survivors of the attack on Pulse nightclub, but those injured by gun violence tomorrow and in the future as well.

That's what makes everyone who turned out at blood donation centers — and the compassion that motivated them to do so in the wake of this attack on the LGBTQ community — so important, so necessary, and so appreciated.

More

Obama nailed why we can't forget the Orlando shooting was at an LGBTQ club.

'No act of hate or terror will ever change who we are or the values that make us Americans.'

In the early hours of June 12, 2016, a gunman opened fire at Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida.

Photo by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images.


Pulse is an LGBTQ nightclub. That the attack happened there was no coincidence. It appears the gunman — who pledged allegiance to the Islamic state the night he killed at least 50 people — reportedly held deeply homophobic attitudes.

Sunday afternoon, President Obama addressed the nation, highlighting what made this most recent act of terror unique.

While the president confirmed the FBI is investigating the incident and thanked the courageous first responders who saved many lives, he also made a point to note why the location of this attack should not be overlooked.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

"This is an especially heartbreaking day for all our friends — our fellow Americans — who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender," he said in his speech. "The shooter targeted a nightclub where people came together to be with friends, to dance and to sing, and to live."

"The place where they were attacked is more than a nightclub — it is a place of solidarity and empowerment where people have come together to raise awareness, to speak their minds, and to advocate for their civil rights."

The president is right. Dating back to the Stonewall Riots of the 1960s, LGBTQ nightclubs and bars have been much more than just spaces to have fun on a Friday night. These venues are where people have organized, protested, pushed for progress, and found safe spaces amid a hostile outside world.

This wasn't just an attack on Americans writ large — it was an attack on the freedoms that LGBTQ people have rallied for for decades.

"No act of hate or terror will ever change who we are or the values that make us Americans," Obama said.

The president also used his speech to highlight the continued need to act against gun violence.

Sunday morning's tragedy — the deadliest shooting in American history — is yet another example of why rampant gun violence in the U.S. is a uniquely American phenomenon.

"This massacre is therefore a further reminder of how easy it is for someone to get their hands on a weapon that lets them shoot people in a school, or in a house of worship, or a movie theater, or in a nightclub," Obama said.

"And we have to decide if that’s the kind of country we want to be. And to actively do nothing is a decision as well."

Photo by Jessica Kourkounis/Getty Images.

June is pride month across the country. As we celebrate progress made while honoring those who lost their lives in Orlando, let's also remember what inspires us to keep fighting: hope.

As LGBTQ rights activist Harvey Milk once said, "The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope."

"Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right."

Photo by Max Whittaker/Getty Images.

Watch Obama's speech addressing the Orlando mass shooting: