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Will Ferrell answers rapid fire questions from Stephen Colbert, and it's delightfully weird

A rollercoaster of unhinged to poetic that only Will Ferrell can deliver.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert/Youtube

This funny man likes to take the window seat while traveling to see all the "dead bodies," i.e. trees.

For those not up to speed with all things Stephen Colbert—during his Colbert Report days, the television host popularized a bit called the "Colbert Questionert," where he asked the same 15 questions (covering the ”full spectrum of human experience") to whichever celebrity guest he was interviewing at the time.

That bit lives on with the Late Show, and during the show’s April 29 episode, Anchorman star Will Ferrell was asked those trademark "ergonomically designed” questions.

His answers were every bit as unserious as you’d might expect…from declaring the “classic” salami and grapefruit on rye with a light sheen of mayo as the “best sandwich” (which, actually, does sound pretty delectable), to naming penguins as the “scariest animal (“you know the old phrase, don’t turn your back on a penguin"). You can definitely tell Colbert is working very, very hard to keep himself together.

And yet, when asked, “What do you think happens when we die?” things took a bit of a profound turn.

“What I know happens…we turn into trees.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

He went on to say that once that happens, you’ll still be "experiencing" things, and “contributing to the world,” but…”that’s it.”

“And you know this…how?” Colbert replied.

“I just know it,” said Ferrell before immediately dubbing Sense and Sensibility as his favorite action movie followed by a full-on spontaneous acapella duet with Colbert of Rick Astley’s "Never Gonna Give You Up”— the one song Ferrell would pick if he could only listen to one song for the rest of his life. If that’s not life in a nutshell, I don't know what is: beauty, silliness, and everything in between.


Whether you find answers to this ultimate mystery in religion, a spiritual practice, science, or simply accepting that you’ll never know, the one truth of it all is that our bodies go back into the earth in some way or fashion. Some might find this concept unsettling, while others find it deeply meaningful—so much so that they opt for biodegradable urns or pods to house their remains which are then planted with a tree, allowing the remains to nourish the tree as they decompose and it grows.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

So, while Ferrell was obviously taking on the funny man role, he also seemed to pull one of the oldest clown tricks in the book: offering poignant wisdom.

By the way, if you want to host your own little Colbert Questionert, here are the 15 questions:

  • Best sandwich?
  • What's one thing you own that you really should throw out?
  • What is the scariest animal?
  • Apples or oranges?
  • Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
  • What do you think happens when we die?
  • Favorite action movie?
  • Favorite smell?
  • Least favorite smell?
  • Exercise: worth it?
  • Flat or sparkling?
  • Most used app on your phone?
  • You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?
  • What number am I thinking of?
  • Describe the rest of your life in five words?


Jon Stewart Won't Let Mitch McConnell Off That Easywww.youtube.com


Jon Stewart's work on behalf of the 9/11 Victims Fund has truly elevated him to hero status. His tireless efforts to raise awareness and restore funds to survivors and the families of victims have earned him much-deserved praise and literally helped push funding through a House committee last week.

But it shouldn't have to be like this.


There is room for almost any kind of political debate within the storied halls of Congress but providing basic healthcare for survivors of the worst terrorist attack on American soil in history should not be a place of neglect, or a talking point for one political party.

And yet, here we are.

Despite moving out of the House committee, the funding bill faces an uncertain future when it makes its way to the Republican-controlled U.S. Senate, after expected passaged by the full House.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has been non-committal in terms of when or even if the funding measure will get a full vote in the Senate and whether or not he will direct Republicans to support what should be just about the least controversial bill to come before lawmakers.

Yet, during an appearance on the Fox News Channel, McConnell was dismissive of Stewart's impassioned efforts, calling the former "Daily Show" host "bent out of shape" and insisting the Senate was too busy to rush its attention on the bill: "Many things in Congress have [come] at the last minute," McConnell said. "We have never failed to address this issue, and we will address it again."

His statements were not only insensitive but ironic after McConnell drew much ridicule in recently after tweeting support for the idea that the Senate shouldn't move forward with any meaningful legislation until Democrats submit to President Trump's legislative priorities, i.e. funding for a border wall with Mexico.

Well, McConnell should have known that Stewart wasn't going to take this lying down.

Instead, he stopped by to visit his old pal Stephen Colbert and delivered an epic 6-minute monologue on McConnell's comments. Some highlights below:


"No, Mitch McConnell, I am not bent out of shape," Stewart began.

"Listen, Senator — I know that your species isn't known for moving quickly," Stewart said in reference to a joke he started years ago about the Kentucky lawmaker resembling a turtle. "But damn senator. You're not good at this argument thing.

Basically, we're saying you love the 9/11 community when they serve your political purposes. But when they're in urgent need, you slow-walk, you dither, you use it as a political pawn to get other things you want."

"You know what, if you're busy, I get it," Stewart continued. "Just understand that the next time we have a war, or you're being robbed, or your house is on fire, and you make that desperate call for help, don't get bent out of shape if they show up at the last minute with fewer people than you thought."

"These are the first heroes, and veterans, and victims of the great trillions-of-dollars war on terror," Stewart said. "And they're currently still suffering and dying and in terrible need. You would think that would be enough to get Congress' attention, but apparently it's not."

Keep going Jon Stewart. It's a shame you're having to do the work our elected representatives are being paid to do. But until they do their jobs, please keep doing yours. America needs you, the 9/11 Victims Fund needs you, and we could all use a little more of the common sense decency you're casting an illuminating light upon.

Jim Parsons of "The Big Bang Theory" joined "Late Show" host Stephen Colbert to help some delightful doggos find homes.

An estimated 3.3 million dogs enter U.S. animal shelters each year, so Parsons and Colbert were not above a few funny falsehoods to help some puppies from New York's North Shore Animal League find loving families during a hilarious segment on Colbert's show.

There's Max, the retriever mix who thought up the idea for Uber before anyone else.

He probably could've pulled it off if the Series A funding round went better.

Little Penny is a dachshund/miniature pinscher mix — and a fashion maven.

She insists cargo pants are making a comeback. (Don't hold it against her.)

The life story of border collie mix Jack Reacher was recently adapted for the big screen.

Sadly, test audiences didn't care for a dog shooting humans, so the lead role went to Tom Cruise. Hollywood, amirite?

And sweet Lola is a shepherd mix who is great with kids — though be warned, she's a moon-landing denier.

Please go easy on the Neil Armstrong stanning in her presence. She's not buying it.

The rest of the segment was filled with armloads of  truly amazing doggos.

All of the puppies in the segment are adoptable, so if you're in the New York tri-state area and looking for a new furry family member with a beautiful and mysterious past, check out North Shore for more information.

More

Jon Stewart nails why there's no 'real America' in perfect Jon Stewart fashion.

"Those fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not being divisive. Those fighting to keep those people out are."

Can you believe it's been nearly a year since Jon Stewart said goodbye to "The Daily Show"?

And what a year it's been! With election season coming down the home stretch, it feels odd not to see the former host offering his take on some of the campaigns' more absurd moments (and oh, have there been many of those).

Last night, Stewart returned to late-night TV for one night to deliver an important message to the American people.

He stopped by "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" and gave an epic, 13-minute, mic-drop epilogue to this week's Republican National Convention. And no matter what party you're affiliated with, it's an epilogue you'll want to hear.


Images from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert"/YouTube.

His message was simple but necessary: Today's politics of division aren't sustainable.

And while many politicians claim they stand for unity, they undermine that with platforms built around inequity.

"You got a problem with those Americans fighting for their place at the table," Stewart said about the politics of subtraction. "You got a problem with them because you feel like the ... 'sub-groups' of Americans are being divisive. Well, if you've got a problem with that, take it up with the founders [of America]. 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'"

"Those fighting to be included in the ideal of equality are not being divisive. Those fighting to keep those people out are."

Stewart called out the rhetoric of the RNC specifically because of its divisive language about immigrants, racial minorities, LGBTQ people, and women.

"You feel that you're this country's rightful owners," Stewart said of the idea that the status quo enables discrimination.

"There's only one problem with that: This country isn't yours. You don't own it. It never was. There is no 'real America.' You don't own it. You don't own patriotism. You don't own Christianity. You sure as hell don't own respect for the bravery and sacrifice of military, police, and firefighters."

Stewart's words might seem a bit partisan, but arguing for inclusion is arguing for humanity, no matter what political party you're in.

Honesty, inclusion, and equality are core tenets of humankind. And like Stewart said, we should put our trust in leaders who stand for those ideals.

That's what matters in — and is missing from — the current state of politics. That's what the future children of America need.

Watch Jon Stewart's epic segment below.