Some people love being alone. Others try to avoid it.
I've always loved being alone. As a kid, I would happily spend hours alone immersed in my own imaginary worlds, and as an adult, I greatly enjoy my own company. Spending time by myself has always been a positive experience for me, and I crave it when I don't get to be alone for too long. Being alone never feels lonely to me.
But I also love people. I have lots of friends and a positive view of humanity in general. Loving people and loving solitude coexist in my psyche with zero conflict, and it's never made sense to me when people associate wanting to be alone with not liking being around people. I am a social creature who benefits from community, but I also enjoy solitude.
There's a freedom in being alone.Photo credit: Canva
I'm not alone (pun intended) in this. When we asked our Upworthy audience to name something they enjoy that others don't understand, the most common answer was overwhelmingly "solitude." Some enjoy solitude, but others find being alone undesirable and something to avoid. Introversion and extroversion have long been used to explain the difference between people who crave solitude and people who don't, but one study offers a different explanation: the rarely-talked-about emotion of awe.
A study from Peking University found that people who experience awe tend to view solitude in a more positive light than those who don't. Participants, which included both Chinese and American subjects, were shown awe-inspiring photos or videos (like the Milky Way or other natural wonders) vs. neutral (such as an empty street) or amusing ones (funny animal videos). Other subjects were asked to imagine times they'd felt awe or happiness in the past. Then they were all asked to report on how alone or lonely they felt and how they felt about being alone.
Being alone doesn't mean being lonely.Photo credit: Canva
In each case, people who had been prompted to experience awe tended to report feeling alone but not lonely. They also expressed a more positive view of solitude and feeling more drawn to being alone than to being around others.
So it appears that people who experience awe on a regular basis or who tap into that emotion more readily might just be the folks to naturally enjoy solitude. But what is it about awe that makes solitude more attractive?
The study authors point to the self-transcendent nature of awe negating the feeling of loneliness and giving rise to the freedom to contemplate "universal spiritual questions," writing:
"Awe typically arises when people encounter something physically or mentally vast (e.g., the universe or profound wisdom) and feel a need to change their mental structure to accommodate the experience. Awe experiences are self-transcendental, allowing people to transcend their current frames of reference and feel connected to a greater entity. As a self-transcendental emotion, awe may evoke feeling alone but not lonely, breaking the misconception that solitude leads to loneliness. In the presence of a grand entity, people can free themselves from their daily triviality and might feel only themselves speaking to the grand entity and therefore feel alone. However, this feeling alone does not come with loneliness, because self-transcendence provides a deep sense of connectedness—usually with an entity larger than people themselves, such as culture, humanity, or all of existence.
Does enjoying solitude mean you're more in touch with your sense of awe?Photo credit: Canva
"In addition to helping differentiate solitude from loneliness, awe may foster positive attitudes toward solitude through self-transcendence. By transcending day-to-day concerns, awe may motivate people to reflect on the meaning of and find answers to universal spiritual questions as well as pursue their true selves. Solitude is an ideal state for contemplating profound questions because it frees people from social constraints and provides freedom to reflect. Thus, awe-evoked self-transcendence might make people appreciate time alone. Supporting this notion, elder people who experienced gerotranscendence (encompassing self-transcendence and cosmic transcendence) were content to spend time alone in quiet contemplation and reported less interest in supercial social interaction. Near-death transcendent experiences also increased appreciation of and need for solitude. In light of these findings, it is plausible that awe may lead people to find solitude enjoyable and be eager to spend time alone due to the rewarding aspects of self-transcendental states."
Essentially, awe helps us step outside of ourselves and connect with the larger reality of our existence. While sometimes those big questions can feel overwhelming or even scary to ponder alone, when we put ourselves in a state of awe, those reflections become more enjoyable.
Some of us genuinely enjoy our own company.Photo credit: Canva
“By helping people connect with themselves and the grandness of existence, awe can help people view solitude more positively,” says study coauthor Yige Yin of Peking University. “In this way, it may also help prevent loneliness by encouraging people to enjoy their time alone.”
Like anything else, tapping into our sense of awe probably comes more naturally to some people than to others. But the study authors say that partaking in activities that inspire awe on a daily basis may help people enjoy time alone more and improve well-being.
“Solitude can be interesting and valuable,” Yin says. “When you can just enjoy a peaceful time alone to speak to yourself and connect yourself to the greater world, it can be as important as time spent with others. It might be worth embracing rather than avoiding.”
That's a pretty awesome conclusion, if you ask me.
A man talking with a therapist.via
A woman receiving mental health help.via
A therapist speaking with her client.via
A young man talking to a therapist.via