A single dad reaching out for help got a huge amount of support.
Even in this amazing girl-dad era, certain aspects of girlhood can still be quite challenging for fathers to know how to best show up for their daughters. And certainly, first periods are one of them.
This can be especially true for single dads. Even the guy who grew up with sisters likely wouldn’t know the ins and outs of different menstrual products available today, and that’s not even getting into the emotional roller coaster often involved.
One single dad hoped to find answers on Reddit after his soon-to-be 13-year-old daughter had her first cycle. And thankfully, he got what he needed—and then some.
“I'm a single dad and my daughter (soon to be 13) has just started her first period. Luckily, she was at a friend's house and managed to get hold of a few pads but we don't really have anything at home,” the dad explained.
He continued, “What do I need to be doing? Pads, tampons or cups? Different things for different situations? Should I just buy different products in different levels of absorbency and let her figure out what's comfortable? Should I have a specific pain relief on hand or just hot water bottles?”
First off, kudos to this dad for already being thorough. Asking about product specifics? Thinking about pain relief? A+
And people were equally thorough in their answers. One person suggested dedicating a section of the bathroom to a discrete “period care stash” which would include:
- Pads (medium + heavy OR medium + night-time).
- Baby wipes (fragrance free. NOT makeup wipes).
- Ibuprofen or similar
- Hot water bottle
- Bonus items:
- Favorite chocolate
- New pack of basic underwear
Enough can't be said about having a discreet period stash. Photo credit: Canva
They also suggested getting a fabric drawstring bag so that some of these items could go into the girl’s school bag, as well as incorporating a cycle tracking app like Clue or using some other kind of “top-up system” to know when these items would need replenishing.
“This will probably depend a lot on how independent she is and whether the topic feels awkward to her (which is natural even though there's nothing to be embarrassed about). She might want you to just pick up a new packet of pads as part of your grocery shop once a month. She might want you to leave the shopping list where she can see it so she can just write on it what she wants. She might prefer you give her a little extra money so she can pick up products for herself. Use your best judgment or ask her,” they said.
This person did add the disclaimer that “no matter how regular her cycles may be they still take us by surprise sometimes.” So it’s a good idea to have good laundry detergent on hand and that she also knows how to do her own laundry if she needed.
This person made it very clear to the dad to be mindful to not instill any shame around menstruation, and to have “a bit of grace if she's a bit snappy, or if she's more lethargic or spending longer in the bathroom. She won't want you to draw her attention to this.”
Other honorable mentions include getting period underwear like Thinx and Knix, rinsing and stained items in cold water before washing, asking a female she’s comfortable with to teach her about tampons, having a basic understanding of PMDD, endometriosis, PCOS etc., and to make sure the bathroom trash can has a lid, especially if the house has dogs.
But beyond helpful advice, this dad got a lot of positive encouragement.
“You are a really cool dad to be so calm and collected, and caring. You are a hero,” one person wrote.
“You are pure gold, coming from a single father of an eleven year old daughter. Thank you” wrote another.
This chapter might not be quite as simple to navigate as previous ones, but simply having the intention to be well informed is already putting this dad on the path towards success. Kudos to him, and all the other dads who strive to support their daughters every step of the way.
Mom praises teen boy for the way he helped her daughter with a period emergency
This article originally appeared on 02.21.19
I know firsthand that getting your period is never a convenient event, especially when it's your very first one and you don't have tampons or pads (or diva cups ooh la la) handy.
Depending on what you're wearing, a leak can show up in ways that announce your cycle to the whole world — and when you're a teenager that can invariably lead to teasing from cruel peers.
Womanhood can truly feel like a curse when you first enter it.
Most of the time, when we hear embarrassing period anecdotes, the girl in question is riding solo with her shame-stained pants, or maybe there's a kind woman with tampons in the public restroom.
It's rare that a guy, let alone a teen boy, is the unlikely hero in a tale of periods. However, a recent Reddit post served as the delightful exception to the rule of terrifying teen boys.
When a boy noticed his female classmate's period stain on the bus, he took the high road rather than making her a punchline.
Here's what the post in full:
"My daughter started her period on the bus ride home today. A boy a year older than her...that she doesn't really know...pulled her aside and whispered in her ear that she had a stain on the back of her pants and gave her his sweater to tie around her waist so she could walk off the bus. She said she was kind of embarrassed and originally said it's okay, but the boy insisted and told her 'I have sisters, it's all good!' If you are this boy's mom, I want to say thank you and that you are raising him right!! We hear so many bad things about today's youth and I wanted to share something positive!"
People on Reddit were happy to hear about such a mature and positive exchange between the teens, particularly how the boy expressed empathy without even knowing her well.
The whole exchange is a testament to how important it is to educate kids about how bodies of all genders work, so it's normal and not shameful.
"What an awesome kid," Redditor Imrhien wrote. "This highlights the importance of teaching boys about girls bodies, and vice versa. Understanding engenders compassion."
It's also notable how awkward it may have been for him to approach her, one of the reasons teens often take the low road is because kindness is a form of vulnerability.
"I'm guessing neither your daughter nor the boy are very old, maybe around 15," cli7 wrote on Reddit. "It would be so tempting to make fun of her. And even if not that, very awkward to have this conversation with a stranger. He must have been awfully nice for your daughter to react how she did I have a feeling your daughter made a friend for life."
In short, this is the right way to raise and kind and respectful kid.
"This is how we should raise our sons and daughters," Redditor binarydaaku wrote.