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Family

Gen Z couple exposes the big generation gap in partner location sharing

"We just don't think it's that serious."

via Canva/Photos and Google Play

A wife tracking her husband's location.

If you’re in a relationship, there are pros and cons to sharing your location with your partner. On one hand, it’s a great way to find out where they are so you know (roughly) when they’ll be home, or to make sure they are safe. On the other hand, a controlling partner can abuse the technology, and some folks just want to come and go without being watched even if it’s by someone they love.

Further, if you are against your partner tracking you, what do you have to hide? If you’re not going places that you shouldn’t, why do you care if your partner can see where you are? TikTok creators Maya and Hunter, a young married couple who share videos about their egalitarian relationship, have a theory: couples under 35 have no problem sharing their location, while those 35 and over recoil at the idea.

What type of couples share location data?

“Why does everyone over the age of 35 think that sharing your location with your partner is a prison sentence?” Hunter asks in a TikTok with over 600,000 views. “Every time we talk to someone older about how we have each other’s location, they’re like... Bring out the shackles!” Maya adds. “And I feel like everyone we talk to who’s under 35 just thinks of it as a convenience or safety thing.”

@maya.and.hunter
i feel like we just don’t think it’s that serious?

The couple doesn’t see anything wrong with monitoring one another, and although it’s not a big part of their lives, they like to have it just in case. “It’s not that deep. I can’t remember the last time I checked her location, other than just to find out where she parked. It’s just a really interesting social commentary that everyone over a certain age—we think it’s about 35—has this really big issue with, like, a privacy violation and mistrust when you share your location.”

“But I feel with my friends and partner and people I trust,” Maya adds, “I don’t care if they see where I’m going at any time.”

The generational gap in location sharing

The couple believes that the cutoff line is the age of 35, and according to Civic Science, they aren’t far off in their assumption. A generational study finds that younger people are far more likely than older people to share their locations. Gen Z adults aged 18-29 are the most likely to use location sharing (65%), outpacing Millennials (45%) and Gen X (42%), and more than doubling those 55+ (24%).

@rosecitycomedy
Nothing says love like quietly tracking your partner’s every move. Just ask Andy Woodhull. #tylertx #longviewtx #standupcomedy

A significant factor contributing to the generation gap is that individuals aged 35 and under were, at the oldest, teenagers when location technology became available. Heck, folks who are 18 right now never lived in a time when location sharing didn’t exist and were likely to be raised by parents who tracked their locations. Those who are over 35 were adults by the time the technology became available, and they lived in a time where, if you were interested in tracking someone, you were probably a creep. Older people value privacy more because they remember a time when they could be unreachable.

The video divided people in the comments. "I have a theory. People over 35 are old enough to remember not being constantly surveilled," one wrote. “Because they grew up in an era when the norm was privacy, not surveillance, so it feels like being stalked,” another added.

“Everyone who is against it is shady,” one person confidently wrote. “I totally get what you mean, it's like older folks see it as a big deal, but for us it's just about staying connected and safe,” agreed another.

There’s no correct answer to the big location-sharing question. People who don’t do it can brag about their independence and the fact that they trust their partner so much they don’t need to follow where they go. Others may claim they track their spouses out of love and concern for their safety. But the debate does say a lot about how different generations were raised with entirely different expectations of privacy and how it plays out in their closest relationships.

From Your Site Articles

marriage

Family

A dad's steamy shower door photo represents a sweet recognition of his wife's work

"I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it."

Photo credit: Canva

A little recognition goes a long way.

Anyone who has been a stay-at-home mom knows that it's not easy. But many people who haven't been one assume that it can't be that hard. What's so difficult about taking care of a baby or a toddler or two? Don't babies basically just lie there? Don't you have all kinds of free time while they nap?

It's hard to describe what it's like to those who haven't experienced the near-constant demands of hands-on, full-time mothering. There's no job description that compares to being a mom. It's wonderful in a million ways, but it's friggin' hard, and it's normal in those early years of staying home with wee ones to feel totally and completely spent by the end of the day.

Many moms lament that their husbands don't seem to understand why they are so exhausted when "all they do" is "just stay home" with the kids all day, which is probably why this dad's photo of a steamy shower door has resonated with so many.

It reads:

"I came home yesterday evening after working 12 hours. I went into the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready for dinner. I noticed my daughter's bassinet in the bathroom.

I asked my wife if she had put her in there, and how she did in it. She said she put her in it as she had showered during the day. We continued to talk about how good she had been and how much she's growing up and so forth.

This morning I came home from the gym and turned the shower on to get cleaned up for work. I turned to the door and saw where my wife wiped away the steam from the glass, so she could see our baby girl in the bassinet.

baby, baby in bassinet, parenting, motherhood, family life Babies are adorable, but they take a lot of work.Photo credit: Canva

I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it, it was like I was there in the room with them. I could see Heather just looking through the glass and making faces at Lottie as she smiled and played in her bassinet! I just melted!

It's so crazy to me, how the smallest things can make me so appreciative of my wife. It's the little sacrifices my wife makes for this family, that would normally go unnoticed. From caring for our daughter 24/7, to caring for me, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals, and taking care of herself (yeah right, there's no time for that.)

It just makes me stop and think.

I work hard. I work long 10-12 hours days, I get tired, I have stressful days and that's my right, as the working member in the household. I have the right to be catered to hand and foot when I get off?!?

All she does is have to take care of a baby.

So, it should be that she cooks, and keeps the house clean, dishes washed, laundry clean and put up, animals tended to... and I'm a man, have I mentioned my needs yet?!?

mom, laundry, stay at home mom, toddler, houswork The work of a stay at home mom never ends.Photo credit: Canva

I mean seriously, she's at home all day after all!

Mannnnn... I can't tell you how much this fogged up glass means to me!

The fact that my wife can't even shower without caring for someone else; tending to someone else's needs. She doesn't get a second to herself to relax.

My wife doesn't get to clock out, my wife doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing a check deposited in the bank in return for her hard work, my wife doesn't get to eat lunch with coworkers, my wife doesn't get to just walk outside and just take a deep breath.

This may be just a fogged-up piece of glass to some, but to me it means so much more. It's the little things like this that don't go unnoticed. it's the little things like this that constantly remind me how badass she is. it's the little things like this that make me fall in love with her all over again, Heather Williams!

Thank you for being the amazing woman you are... it doesn't go unnoticed!

I love you My Queen. 👑 ❤️"

woman in shower, moms, motherhood, childcare, family life Showers can feel like a luxury when you have little ones.Photo credit: Canva

The fact that he saw in this smeared glass the sacrifices his wife makes being home with their baby is wonderful.

Some will say this dad doesn't deserve a cookie simply for seeing his wife, but so many stay-at-moms would love to receive this kind of acknowledgement from their partners.

The reality is when you are taking care of a baby, you are "on" all the time. When the baby is asleep, you might get a chance to do some housework. Or you maybe get to close your eyes for a few moments to try to make up for the lack of sleep you got the night before from the baby waking you up to eat. Sometimes the kiddo won't stop crying and your nerves get fried by noon. Sometimes it's 2:00 in the afternoon, you're covered in breastmilk and spit up, you haven't showered, and you can't figure out where the time has gone. Once your baby is crawling or toddling, you can't take your eyes off them or they might literally die. There's pee and poop and every other bodily fluid you can think of, all day, every day. It's non-stop attention, non-stop need-meeting, non-stop love, but also non-stop work.

And then people ask you what you do all day.

More shower door recognition please, partners. The mother of your children will most definitely appreciate it.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

From Your Site Articles

motherhood

Health

Danes have the best work-life balance in the world thanks to these 3 important beliefs.

Maybe the rest of us could learn from them.

By the end of her first week living in Denmark, Helen Russell was worried about her husband's brand-new job.

She explained in an article she wrote for Stylist that she was sure Lego had fired him already because he kept coming home early.

Originally from the U.K., Russell was used to her home country's work customs, where late nights and long hours were worn as a badge of honor. She felt surprised and embarrassed when her husband first came home from work in the early afternoon — she'd hardly started her own day of freelance writing.

The trend continued, she said, and by Friday, her husband was strolling through the door as early as 2:30 p.m. But it wasn't a reflection of his work ethic. It turns out, in Denmark, working fewer hours is ... just what people do.

Photo by Jonathan Nackstrand/AFP/Getty Images.

This healthy work-life balance is such a crucial part of Danish culture that they even boast about it on the country's official website.

It's a major point of pride for Denmark, which has a reputation for being the happiest country in the world. The government encourages a 37-hour workweek, a designated lunch break, a minimum five weeks of paid vacation, extended and paid parental leave, and flexible schedules with the option to work from home as well as incentives for child care. On average, Danes spend less than one-third of their time working — and yet, they're still more productive than most of the European Union or the United States.

You might be thinking, "What's the catch?" But the truth is that Danish values and national attitudes are behind the country's commitment to work-life balance.

Photo by Jon Olav Nesvold/AFP/Getty Images.

1. Workers in Denmark are trusted to deliver on whatever their job is.

Photo by Jonathan Nackstrand/AFP/Getty Images.

By and large, people want to work. They want to do a good job. But many people wrongly assume that others are inherently lazy, that work is a reflection of our moral values, and that time equals productivity. (But, in fact, a lot of jobs that exist today aren't even measurably productive.)

So what if, instead of finding ways to pass the time until the clock hits 5 p.m., we just did what we had to do for work and then called it a day? What if you were actually empowered to take personal responsibility into your own hands rather than relying on the threats of a manager lurking in the corner making sure you put in the physical time at a desk?

That's what Denmark does. As Russell writes that one of her Danish friends explained to her, "Come Cinderella hour — home time — everyone from the receptionist to the CEO goes. We're trusted to do a good job; do our work; then leave." Maybe that's how they get so much stuff done?

2. Family is obviously important, but in Danish culture, people are actually encouraged to value their families — and everyone else respects it.

Photo by Jonathan Nackstrand/AFP/Getty Images.

According to Russell's experience, it's totally normal for people in Denmark to list their child care pickups and other family business in their digital calendars for others to see. There shouldn't be any shame in prioritizing family. (And if you don't have a family? You deserve the same freedom.) Also in Denmark, child care is tax-deductible, and the state provides maid services and pensions for the elderly.

This emphasis on family extends to the country's educational approach as well. Rather than using an exam-based schooling system, Denmark is "hugely child-centered and this leads to well-rounded and enthusiastic children," according to teacher Stephanie Lambert, another transplant from Britain.

The country's focus on fewer working hours frees up educators to invest in the personalized needs of students as individuals rather than stressing about uniform success. And as a result, Danish children have these same values instilled in them from a young age. It's ingrained in them by the time they join the workforce, and they'll pass these same values down.

3. Danes also recognize work and play shouldn't be at odds with one another. Everyone benefits from a little R and R — workers and bosses.

Photo by William West/AFP/Getty Images.

More work means more stress, which means more health problems and less getting done. Maybe that's one reason why the Danes spend so much less on health care?

Studies have shown vacations make our brains more creative, which is why vacation days should not be treated as some rare commodity, hoarded like gold for some far-future payoff, or used to cover for other personal matters. People in Denmark receive a minimum five weeks of paid vacation time, and they actually use it — without any fear of shame or social stigma.

It's a simple truth that many Danes recognize, from day laborers to high-end executives: Happier workers are better workers. "We think everyone has a right to be respected, from a CEO to a janitor," Danish psychotherapist Iben Sandahl told The Local. "We try to teach our children to focus on the good in themselves and others rather than on status or labels."

Denmark's model of work-life balance is proof that time is not the same as productivity, and treating people well is actually better for everyone.

Granted, there are some people who think the Danish secret to happiness is actually just lowered expectations. Yet, being humble, realistic, and appreciative isn't such a bad thing.

Either way, the Danes have proven a healthy moderation of labor and leisure is not only possible, but it's measurably preferable to forcing people to live to work and work themselves to death. Maybe it's time the rest of us followed their example.

This article originally appeared on November 23, 2016

From Your Site Articles

Family

Kid belts out every word of a song from the new 'Matilda' and Dad's response is hilarious

'Don't tell me you can't memorize your math tables no more.'

@raisingself/TikTok

11-year-old Nathan belts out "Naughty" from "Matilda."

As a parent, you want your kid to find their space in the world, discover what they're passionate about and build the skills needed to be successful in whatever path they choose.

You also want them to do their dang homework. Even the stuff they aren't particularly thrilled about.

Balancing those things isn't always easy, especially when you have a kid who has very specific interests and very specific non-interests. And that familiar struggle is hilariously depicted in a delightful, viral family car ride.

In the video shared by Samantha Broxton on her TikTok channel, 11-year-old Kevin sits in the back seat singing his heart out to the song "Naughty" from the new Netflix version of "Matilda." The film was just released in December, which makes it all the more impressive that Nathan knows the whole thing by heart.

The "by heart" part is what prompted Nathan's dad, Kevin, to pause the song part-way through and interject with the most classic dad comment ever.

"Don't tell me you can't memorize your math facts no more," he said. "OK? I don't hear that. Multiplication, division, all that. Don't tell me you can't do it."

Kevin is a musician himself and a fan of musical theater and you can see him enjoying Nathan's singalong, but he's also a dad wanting his kids to get the most out of their education. He may have a point about where his son puts his memorization energy, but that didn't deter Nathan from waiting patiently for Dad to turn the song back on so he could continue his performance.

@raisingself

In Nathan's defense, it is easier to memorize things when they're put to music, which is why Schoolhouse Rock! exists. Perhaps Nathan should find a program that puts math facts to music, though that's still not quite as much fun as singing along to "Matilda."

Samantha tells Upworthy that Nathan has been into musicals since "Hamilton" came out, which makes what happened after this video went viral all the more exciting for the Broxtons.

As the "Matilda" video started circulating on Twitter, another video of Nathan singing in the car started making the rounds along with it. In this one, he is singing "Wait for It" from "Hamilton."

\u201cLOOK at baby @leslieodomjr. \ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udd25\ud83d\udd25\u201d
— April (@April) 1673367002

His passion is so clear that it even caught the attention of Leslie Odom Jr., who originally performed the song in the role of Aaron Burr on Broadway. Odom shared the video with a message of praise for Nathan.

"Young brother is far more committed than I even dreamt of being at his age," he wrote. "This is conviction! And I love to see it. On this trajectory, he'll eclipse me in no time."

\u201cYoung brother is far more committed than I even dreamt of being at his age. This is conviction! And I love to see it. On this trajectory, he\u2019ll eclipse me in no time. Ha \ud83d\udcaa\ud83c\udffe\u201d
— Leslie Odom, Jr. (@Leslie Odom, Jr.) 1673372069

The family was blown away by the tweet.

"I’m so touched by Leslie acknowledging our Nathan," Samantha says. "We think Nathan is talented and could really be amazing in the theater world, but we are obviously very biased as his parents and family. Hearing from someone like Leslie Odom, Jr., with his body of work and broad range and depth of talent, it was really like an overwhelming external confirmation that something similar might really start to be possible for Nathan in the near future."

Nathan's reaction to seeing Leslie Odom Jr.'s tweet, shared by Samantha with his permission, is so pure.

@raisingself
Shared with permission from Nathan. He is so thankful for everyone’s kind words and encouragement. This year he want to get voice lessons and dance lessons and get even more serious about Musical Theater.

Samantha says she and her family have been sharing stories from everyday life on social media for a few years. "It truly is a labor of love, rooted in the desire to build community and share what we have and are actively learning about family, love, healing and adulting," she says, adding that their content is mostly unscripted and that their children have a say in what they post and how the videos are edited. "This is super important to us," she says. "We make the decision to continue to make content as a family, and we wrestle with it every year."

With the positive feedback Nathan is receiving from the musical theater community and people in general, it appears it was definitely a good choice this year.

From Your Site Articles

family life

Family

What you DON'T see in our idyllic family vacation photos

Annie Reneau

A few years ago, our family took a two-week road trip through the Pacific Northwest. We visited six state parks and four national parks, camped under the Redwoods, frolicked in the Pacific Ocean, hiked through breathtaking scenery, and ate and laughed with friends and family who traveled with us.

Perusing the photos from that vacation (or "family trip" to be more accurate, per M. Blazoned's brilliant analysis), I see gorgeous vistas and genuine smiles, children playing and families picnicking, magical moments of beauty and bliss.

But photos never show the whole picture, do they? This is a problem in the social media age as studies suggest that constantly seeing people's "highlight reels" on Facebook and Instagram can lead to sadness and/or jealousy. Apparently, scrolling through photos of our friends basking on beautiful beaches while we're waging whining wars with our wee ones can make us feel all icky inside. Go figure.

Since I don't like the thought of people feeling icky inside, I thought it might be helpful to share what you don't see in our fun family vacation photos:

THE "KIDS HAVING A UNIQUE EXPERIENCE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: A group of happy kids peering down the empty center of an ancient Redwood tree. So cool.

What you don't see: One of my kids stomping away angrily because I wouldn't let her slide down the hollow after her much older friend (and Boy Scout) did it first and found it to be too treacherous. (The slope was much longer and steeper than it looks in the photo.)

THE "TOTALLY NATURAL, CANDID KID PORTRAIT" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: My sweet, happy boy on the banks of a swimming hole in Yosemite National Park gazing lovingly at his mother.

What you don't see: Me carrying this unhappy boy away from said swimming hole while he threw an enormous fit because it was time to go and we couldn't find the "perfect hiking stick" he had found on the way there. Someone actually slow clapped as I escorted him away. Good times.

THE "FAMILY WALKING TOWARDS THE GORGEOUS SCENERY" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Our big group of family and friends walking into the woods for a lovely picnic lunch under the amazing granite formations of Yosemite.

What you don't see: We had just driven three cars full of hungry, cranky children in circles for 20 minutes trying to find a parking space near the visitor's center, to no avail. (Fair warning: Yosemite Valley is NUTS in August.)

THE "KID ENJOYING THE WONDERS OF NATURE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Our little nature lover demonstrating how big the sugar pine cone she found was at our campsite.

What you don't see: The teeth-gnashing negotiations that ensued when I said she couldn't bring the sap-dripping pine cone home with her because it was unbelievably sticky and also against park rules. Taking this photo was her consolation prize.

THE "ALL-AMERICAN ICE CREAM CONE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: My youngest enjoying his hard-earned ice cream after a day of hiking at Yosemite.

What you don't see: The complaints that ensued after he finished his ice cream because I would not also buy him Cheetos. GAH.

THE "KIDS ALL SITTING IN ONE SPOT TOGETHER, SMILING AND CALM" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Six happy kids in a hammock at the campground in Lassen Volcanic National Park.

What you don't see: Four not-so-happy parents telling kids for the 127th time to stop throwing dirt, stop yelling and screeching (sorry, fellow campers), and stop playing in the fire.

THE "BREATHTAKING VISTA ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: A gorgeous view of Crater Lake's incomparably blue waters from the Phantom Ship overlook.

What you don't see: Me spending the entire 1/2-mile hike to this overlook dealing with a six-year-old melting down because I wouldn't let him get a Swiss Army knife. (Man, traveling can be tough on the six-year-olds.)

THE "KIDS ACTIVELY PLAYING IN NATURE" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Kids enjoying beautiful Plaikni Falls in Crater Lake National Park.

What you don't see: Every one of those kids revolting over the 1.3 mile hike to get there because (and I quote) "We've already seeeeen enough beautiful sceneryyyyy!" Wah. Wah. Wah.

THE "SIBLINGS HUGGING WHILE GAZING AT THE SUNSET" SHOTwww.motherhoodandmore.com

What you see: Our three loving children bonding over the beautiful sunset view at Crater Lake.

What you don't see: Me working through one child's emotional crisis in the car ten minutes before this moment, and two children fighting so badly ten minutes after this moment that I made them sit in the car together at the campground until they hugged and made up.

We love to travel as a family and our kids are generally great, but they're kids. And parenting doesn't stop when you're on vacation, alas.

It's not that these photos don't show an accurate picture of reality. These were real, honest, lovely snippets in time filled with joy and wonder. But it's also reality that they were bookended with not-so-lovely moments. Such is life. Especially with children, God love 'em.

So don't be jealous of people's idyllic family vacation photos. I guarantee their trips have as much normal family drama as yours do, even if their photos don't show it.

And why would they? We take pictures because we want to remember the good times, not the annoying ones. And over time, the whining, arguing, and complaining that come with traveling all melt away, and what we're left with is the beautiful memories we've chosen to capture and hold onto.

We just need to remember that when we're looking at someone else's highlight reel, we're definitely not seeing the whole picture.

From Your Site Articles

family life

What type of couples share location data?

The generational gap in location sharing

A dad's steamy shower door photo represents a sweet recognition of his wife's work

"I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it."

The fact that he saw in this smeared glass the sacrifices his wife makes being home with their baby is wonderful.

And then people ask you what you do all day.

Danes have the best work-life balance in the world thanks to these 3 important beliefs.

Maybe the rest of us could learn from them.

By the end of her first week living in Denmark, Helen Russell was worried about her husband's brand-new job.

This healthy work-life balance is such a crucial part of Danish culture that they even boast about it on the country's official website.

You might be thinking, "What's the catch?" But the truth is that Danish values and national attitudes are behind the country's commitment to work-life balance.

1. Workers in Denmark are trusted to deliver on whatever their job is.

2. Family is obviously important, but in Danish culture, people are actually encouraged to value their families — and everyone else respects it.

3. Danes also recognize work and play shouldn't be at odds with one another. Everyone benefits from a little R and R — workers and bosses.

Denmark's model of work-life balance is proof that time is not the same as productivity, and treating people well is actually better for everyone.

Kid belts out every word of a song from the new 'Matilda' and Dad's response is hilarious

'Don't tell me you can't memorize your math tables no more.'

What you DON'T see in our idyllic family vacation photos

Man who raised and released an orphaned otter films her swimming to his kayak for cuddles

5 ways people are going all in this week

Dad shares 'complaints' about his toddler's restaurant business and it's too adorable

Mom accidentally sleeps with phone on silent and wakes up to heart-stopping 'emergency'

My friend showed his daughter 'Jaws' and Gen Z's reaction to it changes the movie forever